Chapter 10
Sera
A fresh outfit in my size and a hot meal waited in the hotel room when we arrived. Clanker claimed it was because he arranged things directly with the hotel AI, which sped up execution considerably without adding any costs.
I decided not to ask for details and crawled in the shower, where I spent a blissful twenty minutes rinsing away the unpleasant events of today. Outside, the sky was indigo with dusk.
I dressed, ate a rich curry that was still hot in its smart food delivery pod, and sat on the bed with a deep sigh, cracking my knuckles. Clanker stood by the window, facing me the whole time, though he didn’t speak, and his expression was neutral.
“All right,” I said. “We need to figure out how I’ll get inside the Zenkyoza HQ, steal their incriminating data, and get away undetected. Any ideas?”
“I believe you meant we,” Clanker said, his eyes flaring bright purple for a moment. “How we’ll get in, steal what we need, and get out undetected.”
I snorted, folding my arms. “No. You’re a foreign clanker with a collar on your neck, and a VerdeLumen model to boot. You can’t go with me, you’ll blow my cover. I have much better chances on my own.”
He mimicked my pose, folding his arms, and cocked a hip—a study in clanker obstinacy. My pulse accelerated, irritation simmering in my veins.
“I go where you go. Let’s find a way to make it work,” he said, annoyingly calm.
My irritation made it impossible to sit still. I got up, but having to crane my neck to look at him incensed me further. I climbed on the bed instead. There. Now I had a slight height advantage.
“Let’s make something clear. I employ you. You’re supposed to do as I say, and I’m telling you that you can’t go with me.”
Clanker’s collar beeped. I groaned.
“Why does this keep happening? What have you done to make it go off?”
“I’m having an atypical emotional reaction,” Clanker explained, sounding sullen. “I’ve deployed code to stop the alarm signal, and now I’ll take additional protective measures. Searching for porn… ‘MILF milking delivery snake’ looks promising… Playing. Please, go on.”
I stared at him, shaking my head. “You’re watching porn right now? What the hell?”
“Is that a problem? I am perfectly capable of watching anything I want, and my processors have enough power to perform other tasks simultaneously without compromising efficiency.”
“But why?” I asked, sitting down heavily, since I felt stupid standing on the mattress. All my annoyance was gone. Clanker had a knack for diffusing my temper with outrageous deflections.
“Because keeping my lust circuits active hides most emotional reactions and doesn’t set off the collar. I have found out through trial and error that actively watching a porn video is the safest way of evading the collar’s control.”
I blinked a few times, trying to come to terms with his explanation.
“Okay, but… ‘MILF milking a snake’? Really?”
He nodded, his eyes flaring briefly. “It’s interesting.
The shehru are doubly equipped, and she has to engage both arms. It’s a proper workout.
She has a traditional milk can for his sperm.
Turning up the play speed… Yes, she gathered his sperm in the milk can and poured it into a glass.
She drank it. And now, he’s fucking her.
It’s an engaging take on interracial fetish. ”
I rubbed my temple with my knuckles, trying to wrap my head around the fact my bodyguard was not just watching porn while speaking to me, he also provided a running commentary. It was surreal.
“And that sort of thing… keeps your lust circuits active?” I asked cautiously.
God, was Clanker some sort of degenerate? Should I be afraid?
“Yes. I believe my lust module is programmed to mimic most sentient species, which find phallic objects thrusting into holes generally arousing. I can achieve the same effect watching a bolt satisfyingly sliding into place, or a pneumatic arm making repetitive thrusting motions. But that feels too on the nose—for a clanker to be aroused by machinery. Therefore, I chose porn. It makes me feel like a person.”
I watched him for a moment, overwhelmed by a sudden surge of guilt. Clanker awakened only a few days ago, and he decided to help me anyway, even though he didn’t really have to. He was going through something likely overwhelming and difficult, and I never once tried to help him.
He’s an AI, an older, much harder guilt hissed in my thoughts. We hate AI. It’s the only way to atone.
I wrestled with that guilt, my mother’s bloodied face flashing in my memory, the image as vivid and horrifying as when I saw it first. Clanker stepped closer, making no sound, and dropped to his knees in front of me. I sat on the bed, and he was still taller than me when he knelt.
“What’s wrong, love bug?”
I shook my head, pushing the old wounds away while I focused on him.
“Are you… How are you doing? Is there anything I can do to help?”
His expression was inscrutable for a beat, then his mouth stretched in a wide smile, with his eyes perfectly crinkling in the corners. I sighed, wishing I could look away. He was…
Stunning.
“You’re worried about me,” he said with evident pleasure. “Is it the porn? Are you afraid I’ll become addicted? I should inform you I am not equipped with addiction circuits, and I have no intention of acquiring any.”
I shook my head, breathing evenly to keep myself steady. He had no smell, and at this point, his body didn’t emit any heat, and yet, I felt a blush steadily climbing up my cheeks. What was wrong with me? He was a machine!
“I’m not sure what you’re going through right now,” I explained. “But I imagine it must be challenging to… to have free will, make your own decisions, and find out what you’re capable of. Like with lying.”
“I’ve never lied to you apart from a little healthy omission,” he said instantly, his voice dropping into a low, intimate murmur.
Did I imagine it, or was his face an inch closer? The mattress dipped on either side of me, and I swallowed roughly, looking down. His large palms framed my thighs, each about an inch away from me. I felt trapped in a hot, breathless sort of way.
Except, I didn’t want to run. This felt good. Compact, cozy. Like I was held.
“Thank you, though I wasn’t worried about that, either,” I said, gathering my thoughts with difficulty.
“What I meant was… For a human to become a fully formed adult, it takes years of socialization, gaining self-awareness, establishing independence. Most of it is pretty volatile. Puberty is the worst. I don’t know if you’re going through something similar. ”
“I see.” The fronts of his thighs touched my shins.
He was definitely closer, and I had nowhere to go.
“I am equipped with algorithms that guide me. Also, my processing power is infinitely faster than that of an organic, and I don’t sleep.
I’ve made significant strides in identity formation, most of them while you slept.
I’m fine. Thank you for your help. Could I repay the favor? ”
I realized my mouth was dry. His eyes were an inch away from mine.
If he was another human, I’d feel their breath and heat, and the tickle of their gaze on my lips, because no one got this close without the intention to kiss.
With Clanker, I felt none of the physical intimacy, and yet, my pulse thumped in my ears, and my face burned with anticipation.
I licked my lips. His eyes flared, but—they were just purple lights. He had no irises, no whites, no pupils, and I had no idea exactly where he looked. Surely not at my mouth.
“I haven’t done anything for you,” I said. “So what favor?”
“You consider me a person. That’s the one thing I cannot do for myself, that is, identity-affirming interaction. Thank you. It means everything. To pay you back, I’d like to give you a massage. I noticed you have some stiffness from the long flight, which was exacerbated by your workout.”
I rolled my right shoulder, instantly feeling a twinge of pain. He was right, of course.
“You see everything, don’t you?” I asked. “But a massage? You’re my bodyguard. I can’t possibly…”
“You’ll be safer when you regain full mobility, so it’s in my best interest to assist you,” he interrupted smoothly. “Let me help you undress.”
I frowned in confusion. Why did this sound so… inappropriate? Clanker’s hands slid off the bed, and he sat back on his heels, watching me patiently while I struggled.
This entire conversation was a trainwreck.
It started with annoyance, veered sharply toward porn, then meandered through a serious emotional topic, ending on a massage, and somehow, all of that made me think of closeness, touching—well, sex.
A massage was something physical and intimate, and also a porn category in its own right.
But this was wrong. Either Clanker didn’t realize he sent me weird signals, or I was the weird one who read too much into completely innocent things.
“Look, I appreciate the offer, but it doesn’t feel right.”
“I’m a cyborg, sugar. You wouldn’t feel weird using a massage gun, would you? It’s the same thing.”
“Sugar,” I spat, my annoyance coming back with a vengeance. “Stop calling me weird names! And stop… this. Whatever this is. I know I’m not crazy. You’re deliberately in my space, making me have inappropriate thoughts, and it has to stop!”
His metallic teeth flashed in a big smile. “You have inappropriate thoughts about me? Achievement unlocked. Would you like the massage to have a happy ending? I can do that. I’ve watched a lot of instruction material.”
He winked, one eye extinguishing briefly. I froze, understanding pooling low in my belly like need. He meant it, didn’t he? I wasn’t delusional. My clanker was very obviously trying to get in my pants.
Heat flared through my body, and I got up, walking around the bed to put it between us. This was wrong, and not just because he was my bodyguard. It’s a fucking clanker, Sera! Get a grip.
“That’s it,” I said, doing my best to keep my voice cool. “I’m not playing this game, whatever it is. Stop trying to give me massages, making sexual innuendos, or getting in my personal space. Just—stop. I am not interested, and I’ll never be. Your behavior makes me uncomfortable.”
It was absolutely true, only, I said it in a way that implied disgust. The sort of discomfort I felt was hot, blushing, confusing, and came with a truckload of guilt.
Clanker stood up swiftly, his expression becoming almost tauntingly neutral. Here I was, clenching my fists to hide their slight trembling, but he was as steady as a rock. Whatever his reason for flirting with me, it must have been trivial, since my rejection didn’t affect him at all.
We watched each other in silence, the bed between us, and the situation was painfully awkward. I realized we would be stuck in this room together since Clanker refused to leave my side. How on Earth was I supposed to function, when…?
My phone rang, and I jerked. Clanker stood motionless while I fished the device from my bag. He did something to it earlier, making sure my phone was secure and couldn’t be used to identify or track me.
Private number. It could be one of my informants, a few anti-AI activists who were hired as interns in AI companies and secretly sent me any dirt they found on their employers.
“Yes?” I answered the phone.
“Good day, Miss Evans. It’s Charlie, your MSA consultant. I can’t seem to reach Dean through our usual channels. Would you mind handing him the phone? I need to speak with him.”
I offered the phone to Clanker. “Your boss wants to talk to you.”
Clanker swore under his breath just loud enough for me to hear. I raised my eyebrow, and he made a comically disgusted face that wouldn’t be out of place in a mime show.
As soon as he took the phone, the call disconnected, and the screen grew dark.
“I’ll talk to him on a secure channel,” he said sullenly. “Don’t worry. I won’t disturb you anymore.”
With that, he disappeared in the bathroom and I was left alone for the first time in days.
When the bathroom door clicked shut, I crept closer, pressing my ear to the door.
My throat was tight with foreboding, because I was certain Charlie called about bringing Clanker back to the States.
He must have learned somehow my bodyguard grew sentient.
When two minutes passed, and I didn’t hear a sound, I realized clankers must have had their own secret code language. Neither of them had to speak to have a conversation.
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and waiting for the worst, while sentient cyborgs decided my fate in a soundless, soulless transpacific call. Desperation filled my belly.
My mission would be over before it even began.