Chapter Thirty – Thea
Chapter Thirty
Thea
I ate my berries and watched Taran build me a nest like the one he’d destroyed the morning after he’d taken my virginity. This was bigger, and he built it on the other side of the stream, in the open space. It took longer, but I was content to sit in the sun and think about nothing.
Which only worked for a few minutes. Because then I started thinking about everything.
The oasis was beautiful, but what was I supposed to do here? Okay, I was going to have shelter soon. And he’d said he would figure out food for me. But what about clothes? What about... activities? At home, I liked to read, paint, and play the piano. I liked to meet with my friends and have coffee, hear the latest harmless gossip. I liked to go to the movies, the theatre, and the opera. I liked to dress nicely, wear my gold jewelry, and go shopping. They were all frivolous things, I realized now, but they were mine. I’d said I was done with my past, but I couldn’t be done with everything I used to do, everything I was. These things... defined me to a certain extent.
There was no one here, just me and Taran. I hadn’t realized how solitary he was, even though he’d told me. Maybe I didn’t want to believe him, or I couldn’t imagine someone living all by himself, without friends or family. He had this place, and he had his job. That was it. And now he had me.
Watching him work hard to build the nest from his own branches and vines, snapping and weaving, snapping and weaving, I wondered whether I was a burden to him. I doubted he liked doing this. He didn’t need shelter; I did. And he didn’t need food; I did. Was he going to spend the rest of his life providing for me? Running errands for me? Because I couldn’t see how I could get from the oasis to the nearest town on my own in case I needed groceries. And what would happen when he had to work?
I got up and started pacing, feeling like I couldn’t sit still. My ankle protested, but I ignored it. This was too much. I hadn’t thought this through. But when I’d asked Taran to take me to his place, an oasis in the middle of a deserted landscape – courtesy of my father’s business – was not what I’d expected.
What had I expected? What did I know about monsters? Some of them lived in the cities, like everyone else. Some did not. I couldn’t hold it against Taran that he was in the second category.
An hour later, he was done, and the only reason I wasn’t still hungry was that I was stressed, on the verge of an anxiety attack. I couldn’t eat real food if I wanted to.
“Come,” Taran said. “Let me take you inside.”
He looked human again, except for his feet, which were roots. He’d told me feet didn’t make sense to him, and he moved faster this way. He offered me his hand, and I skipped from one stone to another, carefully crossing the stream with him. Until I lost my balance and he had to catch me. He lifted me up, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. It was ridiculous how much he had to carry me.
Inside, the nest was wide and comfortable. The floor was covered in leaves, and there was even a pillow. He’d made the ceiling high enough that we could both stand.
“It’s incredible,” I said. “As always. I don’t know how you can make something so amazing in so little time.”
“I realize this is not what you’re used to.” He sat down and pulled me in his lap. “I can do better.”
“What do you mean?”
“I will build you a house. A proper house, with a kitchen, a bathroom, a living room, a bedroom... And what else? A reading room? I will buy you books in town.”
I ran my hands over his handsome face, over his hair that was made of vines, and over his stag horns that were made of branches. I wanted to say, “Yes, I want all of that. I want to be with you, no matter what.” But I couldn’t.
He looked into my eyes. “I sound stupid, don’t I?”
“No...”
“Yes. Because none of it is possible. You’ve lived in a city all your life. In a mansion. Surrounded by high society. You would never choose to isolate here with me.”
“Let’s not think about that now.” I silenced him with a kiss.
He tried to pull away, but I held on tightly, pressing myself against him, wrapping my legs around his waist. And for the first time... I felt it. It poked my belly, and I broke the kiss and stared at him in shock.
“That is... Is that...?”
He laughed, but it was bitter. I didn’t understand why.
“I didn’t think...” I looked down between us and covered my mouth with my hand. It was massive, and his leaf pants could barely contain it. “I didn’t know... Now I feel stupid!”
“It’s okay,” he laughed. He wrapped his spindly fingers around my wrists and pulled my hands down to my sides. “It’s okay, my flower. Of course you wouldn’t think trees have cocks.”
“Leshy.”
He smiled and captured my lips in another kiss. But I had questions, and I wasn’t going to let him distract me.
“No, wait, but how? I mean, not how. Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you... When we did... you know what. Why didn’t you... um... use it?”
He shook his head. “Because even now, I don’t know how to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“Do you remember what I said before you fell asleep last night?”
I thought for a moment. After the circus I’d had to endure at the Celestial Pines Sanctuary, I was exhausted. I remembered us talking while he carried me through the dark woods, but it was all pretty vague. I hadn’t been able to pay much attention.
Then it was as if a light bulb switched on in my head.
“That I’m your soulmate.”
I thought he’d be excited that I’d remembered, but he looked even sadder than before.
“What would you say if I took it back?” he asked.
“What?! Take it back? You can’t take something like that back. It’s as if... It’s as if you told me you loved me and took it back.”
I scrambled away from him, crawling to the other side of the nest. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to explain himself. If he could.
“Thea, this is so complicated. You and me...”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No...”
“Taran, do you love me?”
My heart stood still for a moment. Normally, I would never have asked a man if he loved me. It sounded desperate and unhinged. Like I couldn’t live without him. Like I would’ve done anything to convince him to take me back. Because what Taran was doing now felt a lot like... rejection.
I knew better than that. Even with my heart broken in a million bloody pieces, I would never chase a man.
But this was different. He’d brought me here, he’d spent the better part of the day building me a nest out of his own body. His actions said one thing, and his words said another.
“I love you,” he said.
My eyes widened, and my arms fell at my sides. “I love you, too.” I crawled back to him, until our knees were touching. “What’s wrong, then? Why would you say I’m your soul mate and take it back?”
He started playing with the hem of my dress. It was dirty, and I didn’t care. My feet were dirty too.
“You wanted to know why I called my oasis Rune.”
That took me aback. “I mean, yeah. What does that have to do with anything?”
“It has everything to do,” he looked deep into my eyes, “With everything.”