CHAPTER 11
Zara
I jerked awake, sitting up and panting, my eyes searching in the darkness.
Am I still there?
My breathing was erratic and I felt arms come around me. A terrified scream almost left my lips until the scent of the male hit me. I might not know who it was, but my olfactory sense did. My instincts did.
At once, instead of primal fear, relief swept through me.
Rudgar.
“Hey,” he murmured, and I turned to him, tucking myself against him. He ran his fingers down my back, but I realized that he was shaking almost as hard as I was.
“I’m okay,” I assured him, and he pulled me even closer, nuzzling the top of my head.
I let myself settle, reminding myself for the millionth time that I wasn’t still there. I’d escaped and there was no way I was going back. My heartbeat slowed and I hugged Rudgar even tighter.
As the memories of the dream played through my mind, I cursed under my breath.
It’s real. The curse is real.
I’d thought it was all in my imagination. When I’d woken up the next day, I’d felt the curse wrapping around me like a swath of darkness, but I’d ignored it, pushing it to the back of my consciousness.
After my night with Rudgar, it was as if the memory was making itself known. I needed to remember so I could protect him . I swore under my breath before pulling away to look up at him.
Haunted eyes met mine and he swept my hair behind my ears, swallowing hard as he studied my face. Realization made the blood drain from my face.
“You saw,” I gasped, studying him at length. My powers were erratic at times and when I was at my most vulnerable—like when I was asleep, I projected my dreams to people who were nearby. It had been especially awkward when I was a lust-crazed teenager living with my mom.
A slow nod was my only answer. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned away from him, but he hugged himself around my back, pulling me against him.
“I wish I could have protected you, Gul-ar,” he whispered, his voice heavy with regret and sadness. “I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I told him, scrubbing my hand over my face. “It was mine .”
“Your fault that you were abducted ,” he murmured, against my hair. “Because that makes sense.”
“About as much sense as you blaming yourself when you didn’t even know me,” I told him, sniffing with indignation. Even when I was down and out, I had enough sass to last me a lifetime.
“Touché,” he snorted, rubbing his big palms up and down my arms, making me realize I was shivering again. “Let’s not fight, Gul-ar. Let me hold you.”
“You saw everything,” I told him in a low voice, turning to peek up at him. “You know you shouldn’t be near me.”
“I don’t know any such thing,” he whispered, tipping my chin up until I was looking into his beautiful blue gaze. “You’re mine. And you know what I’m saying to you.”
I’m his mate.
I swallowed hard, nodding, but praying that he wouldn’t say the words. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t have a mate right now. The timing was too atrocious.
I’d been so close to throwing myself at him the night before. If we hadn’t stopped—
The thought trailed off as I cupped the side of his face. I couldn’t lose him. We barely knew each other, but I understood that something more was happening here. Something big . And that meant that I couldn’t have sex with this male.
I pulled away, but he kept my hand on his face. “No, Gul-ar. No. You can’t pull away now,” he murmured, his eyes intent on mine.
How does he know what I’m thinking?
“I’m cursed and—”
“And we know the bounds of the curse,” he said with a nod, tugging me closer until he was holding me in his strong arms. I was stiff against him, but he didn’t move, running his palm over my back. “We touched last night and nothing happened to me. I’m here. I’m safe.”
I blinked, my mind clinging to his words. We had touched last night. More than touched. We’d licked each other and sucked each other. His fingers had been inside me. Yet he was here. Safe , just like he’d said.
“H-how is that possible?” I asked, murmuring the words against his throat.
“His curse,” he said, his voice pitched low and soothing. “It’s probably only for if you have sex.”
“With anyone other than him,” I finished, struggling not to gag at the imagery in my head. “I guess since I’m the vessel of my generation, he didn’t care who I was with as long as he was the only one who was fucking his precious heir into me,” I added, a disgusted scowl crossing my face.
His growl of fury startled me from my thoughts, and I ran my fingers over his chest, soothing him until his growl became a purr.
“That’s never going to happen,” he told me, swiping his tongue across the side of my neck. “He’ll never get his hands on you.”
Even now, our reaction to each other left me in awe. I’d settled him with a simple touch and he’d brought me out of my anxiety with one sentence.
“Never,” I agreed, snuggling against him, trying to push the memories of my time with Veron into the back of my mind.
“Did he—” Rudgar trailed off, burying his face in my hair and I felt his huge, strong body shudder against mine. “You can tell me if he—” he started again, only to stop himself from speaking, swallowing hard.
“No,” I whispered, running my fingers up and down his back, touching the muscles and basking in his protection. “He was waiting for the perfect time. He wasn’t attracted to me like that. I was just… a vessel to him. A body to carry his child. The others talked about it,” I said with a shake of my head. “But they never had the chance. I wonder if he bothered to tell them about the curse, or if he was using it as a test of their loyalty to him.”
He squeezed me against him—so tight I could barely breathe—but I loved every second of it. The connection between us was so strong. “I won’t ever let him have you again, Gul-ar. I promise you.”
I believed him—which was shocking to me. I didn’t have the best track record with males. The males that I’d known on this plane, before I was taken, were selfish assholes after their own pleasures and needs.
Then when I was taken, I’d been faced with the warlocks. They pretended to be acting for everyone’s good by bringing about the most powerful of their kind. What I was beginning to realize was that they were just another fanatical cult. For all we knew, that prophecy was fake.
They kept stealing females from my line, yet the one hadn’t been born yet.
After that, I’d met Savla, Krusk and Enka. They’d been my first introduction to kind males. They’d rescued me and helped me evade the warlocks for months. All they’d asked from me was to find their mates.
Which you still haven’t done yet. Note to feral brain. Scry for their mates as soon as you have the protection spell in place.
They’d paved the way for meeting more males like them. If I hadn’t known them, I would have run from Rudgar. I wouldn’t have believed that kindness was possible in their gender.
Yet here he was, curled around me, mourning the fact that he hadn’t been able to protect me from something that he’d had no part to play in. I squeezed my eyes shut, grateful to the Goddess Mother that I’d found him. While witches didn’t have fated mates per se, when a witch found their other half, they were loyal to a fault.
And damn it, I already feel that way about Rudgar.
I ran my lips over the skin of his throat, puffing a breath against him and making him huff out a laugh. “The thing is…” I started, not sure how to start.
Rudgar pulled away, his eyes narrowed on me, suspicion clear in his gaze. I couldn’t fault him. I hadn’t offered much in the way of solutions so far. Only guff—which I could admit that I had troves of.
“I need to go back to my mother’s house—” I started, and he was about to cut me off, his lips already parted, but I held up a hand. “Because I need to get my mom’s book, remember?”
“I can go get what you need,” he explained, but I shook my head.
“You won’t even know what to get. There’s only one option. We’ll go together and I can grab what I need. Then we’ll come back here, do the protection spell and then I can figure out a way to break this curse,” I said, infusing confidence into my voice even if I didn’t actually feel it.
“What if they set a trap there?” he asked, brow furrowed. “That’ll be the first place they’ll look for you.”
I nodded, nibbling on my lower lip until he tugged it out with his finger, ensuring that I wouldn’t hurt myself. My heart melted for this male, but I tried to stay strong and unaffected.
“Okay, how about if you go in first to make sure everything’s safe?” I asked him and he nodded at once.
“Even better, I’ll find the book you’re talking about while I’m there and we’ll only go back if we need to,” he said, his voice stern.
I hid my smile, nodding. “Okay. You win. I have to be there, though. I don’t want you taking the wrong book.”
He grinned, and I melted at the look he gave me. It was filled with such tenderness that I felt myself leaning into him. He pressed his lips against mine in a gentle kiss, cupping my cheek in his big palm and swiping his thumb over my jaw. “Nothing can happen to you, Gul-ar. You can be there, but far away. Promise me.”
I nodded, even though I knew I was going to be close with my faulty powers ready to zap anyone that tried to hurt him. I had enough control for that at least.