CHAPTER 18
Zara
T he sofa shifted but I kept my gaze trained on the book in front of me. My mother’s spellbook. Now my spellbook.
The reminder of what it took to break a blood curse had sent a shot of fear through me.
I don’t want to die.
My fingers tightened on the leather cover of the book. Now that I knew the truth of the coven, I had the family I’d always wanted. My eyes peeked up for a moment at the sexy orc sitting next to me, a book on his own lap, but his gaze locked on me.
And him. I can’t lose him. He’s my family, too.
He leaned closer, tucking a curl behind my ear and a smile spread across his face. “What’s wrong, Gul-ar?” he rasped, his nickname for me filling all the places that had been empty for years.
He completed me in all the ways I’d been missing. I reached up, gripping his fingers in mine, holding on with a desperation that made his brow furrow.
“I like your beard,” I blurted, running my other hand down the silky hair on his chin. He’d been growing it out and I was astounded by how quickly it had sprouted.
His eyebrows swept up, but his eyes went soft and sweet as he settled his jaw more firmly into my hand. “It’s available for your attention at any time.”
“I’ll take you up on that,” I told him and I prayed he didn’t hear the catch in my throat.
With a sigh, he pulled me closer, into a hug, his big palm running up and down my back, encompassing most of it. “Nothing’s going to happen to you. I’m going to make sure of it,” he whispered against my hair, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
Tears popped into my eyes faster than I could ever imagine and my hands went to his back right away, tightening into his shirt. I couldn’t lose him. Not now. Not after I’d finally found him.
“And nothing’s going to happen to you, right?” I gasped against his throat, squeezing my eyes shut and letting the tears fall.
“Nothing,” he agreed, his voice low and intimate. “We’re going to be together. I won’t let anything separate us.”
I shuddered against him, wishing that could be true, but I’d seen what the warlocks were capable of. Rudgar had never dealt with them. They were evil in its purest form. Power hungry zealots who didn’t care who they hurt in their hunt for more.
I’ll protect you.
“M-my mother,” I started, swallowing hard against the lump forming in my throat. “She tried to protect me. She did everything to protect me, and in the end, because she used so much of her power…” I trailed off, the words stuck in my throat, but instead of rushing me, he just stayed silent, allowing me to finish on my own. “Her life energy was so drained that she couldn’t survive anymore and she… died.” I buried my face against his throat, and he ran his big warm palm over my back.
“That wasn’t your fault, Gul-ar,” he whispered, and I rolled my eyes, shaking my head, pulling away to glare at him.
“Of course it was! Who else’s fault was it?” I demanded, and he searched my gaze before sighing.
“Were you the only one she was protecting? Or was she protecting herself and the coven as well?” he asked, his voice even.
I gritted my teeth, turning away from him, but he pulled me back into his arms. “No, answer the question,” he murmured and I shook my head, a sob that I didn’t want to release building inside me.
“She could have lived so much longer—” I whispered, and he pressed a kiss to my hair.
“And if she hadn’t guarded your coven, then they would have found you all and taken her back. She was able to live a free live and she gave that to you with her sacrifice. Don’t taint that with the guilt you’re holding, Gul-ar. Live your life the way she wanted you to. Do you think she’d want you carrying this around with you?” he asked, and I squeezed him close.
“No,” I gasped, tears escaping and being soaked into his shirt. “No, she would never want that.”
“If you don’t let it go, you’re doing a disservice to her,” he told me, nuzzling his face into my hair.
I allowed myself long minutes of crying, basking in his comfort—in the security that he provided to me. And then memories of my mother flooded me. Her laughter, her joy.
The essence that made her her . She would have loved Rudgar. She would have shoved me into a bedroom with him and locked the door until we provided her with a grandchild. I smiled, despite myself, knowing that she was looking down at me and wouldn’t want me to not grab life with both hands.
I’ll get rid of Veron and then I’m going to live the kind of life you always wanted me to.
I gave her the silent promise, running my lips over Rudgar’s throat again. He groaned, shaking his head.
“None of that. I’m trying to comfort you and you’re seducing me. Stop it right now,” he scolded, but there was barely any censure in his voice. His fingers swept down my back to give my ass a tight squeeze and I couldn’t stop a moan from slipping past my lips.
“Pretty sure that’s not how you comfort someone,” I giggled, swiping my tongue into the hollow of his throat. A low rumble of sound came from his chest and let me know that he enjoyed the touch.
“I think I did a great job,” he told me, leveraging us until he fell backward against the sofa. He took me with him and I fell against him with a yelp. He grinned up at me, and I puffed at the curls that had fallen into my face.
“You’re in big trouble,” I told him, taking a nip of his nose. He was grinning, holding me tight against him.
“I don’t mind being in trouble with you,” he whispered, tugging me up on him until he cupped my ass. “Since you’re always in trouble yourself.”
“First of all, I’m never in trouble—” I started, but his snort of disbelief made me tickle his side. His laugh boomed out of his chest and his head tipped back, baring his throat for me.
I nibbled and sucked for a long moment, eventually able to leave a mark there that made me proud. Females probably drooled over this male wherever he went.
While I was here—in his life—I wanted everyone to know that he was mine. I could already feel the possessiveness spreading inside me. I had never been a very good sharer. It was something that made my mom sigh and shake her head at me constantly. Being an only child could do that.
But when it came to Rudgar, I didn’t care if I was being selfish. He was mine and no one else was going to touch him. If they tried, I didn’t know that I had enough control over my powers to stop myself from hexing them.
“Now that we’ve moved in together—” he started and everything screeched to a halt in my head.
“Wait, what?” I asked, blinking at him and brushing aside my wayward hair. “No, we’re not moved in together. ”
He quirked an eyebrow at me, glancing around as if to say, Are you sure?
And hell yes, I was sure.
“Moving in temporarily is not the same as moving in together,” I told him, using his chest to leverage myself until I was straddling his hips. My thighs tweaked a little at how wide he was—stretching to their limits. The hard, huge bulge in his pants was pressed against my pussy and I held in a groan by biting my bottom lip.
Goddess Mother help me, but the day after with this male is going to be dedicated to recovery, I can already tell.
“You’ve moved in with me,” he said with a shrug, “and I don’t see a reason for you to leave.”
My lips parted to argue, but he reached up to cup my cheek in his palm, his thumb running along my jaw. “I know you’re not there yet. I understand. But I am,” he whispered, the seriousness in his expression telling me that he wasn’t going to change his mind, no matter what I said to him. “Let me show you how we could be. Then decide,” he added.
I couldn’t say no to the softness in his gaze. The wistfulness in his expression that was telling me that this male was asking for something that he wanted with his entire heart.
Fuckity fuck.
“Okay,” I murmured, using my hand on his stomach to steady myself as I rolled my hips against his. The tweak in my thighs sounded again and I promised myself I would stretch more if it meant I could do this more often.
The caress of his hard, clothed clock against my pussy was so sweet that a shuddering breath left me gasping. “Oh!” I cried, my head tipping back. His hands gripped my hips tight, his huge fingers digging in hard, and I knew he was fighting for control.
“So good,” I slurred, reaching up to cup my breasts in my hands. They were sensitive and aching.
His hands took their place immediately, batting mine away until he was tugging my clothes free, baring my body for him. He didn’t stop until I was in my underwear, my clothes thrown to the side in a careless rush. I blinked down at him and he groaned low in his throat, his eyes worshipful as they perused me from head to toe.
“Naked,” he purred, sitting up, and I lost my balance, falling backward onto his legs.
He took immediate advantage, tugging my panties off as I slapped at him, gasping.
“Hey!” I cried, but he held the pink, silky pair up next to his face with a smirk.
I bit my lip, heat rushing to my face as he pressed them to his nose, his eyes so dark they were almost black with lust. “I wear those for myself ,” I sniffed, telling the biggest lie ever. I’d never cared about pretty underwear before. Now that I knew someone would be seeing them? I cared more than I wanted to admit.
“Of course,” he told me with a grin, moving until he was between my bare legs now. “I just get the privilege of seeing them.”
Nodding, I gave him an indignant sniff, but it was lost on a moan as he slipped his huge, calloused palms up my inner thighs, toward where my pussy was drenched for him.
“Rud,” I gasped, my head tossing and turning on the sofa. “I don’t know if this is a good idea. What if we—”
“I’ll never do anything to hurt you,” he whispered, leaning down to press a sweet kiss to my lips. “I promise.”
I held him close, clinging to him as I deepened the kiss. “I know,” I answered, relief sweeping through me that this was the male that fate had decided to bind me to. “But I’m certain I’ll try to fuck you,” I told him with a rueful smile.
The darkening of his eyes gave me a thrill down my spine. “I want that too, Gul-ar, but for now, there’s so much more that we can do.”
He groaned low in his throat, licking his lips, leaning down to swipe his tongue across one nipple while tweaking the other with his big fingers.
“Please,” I gasped, arching my back toward him, not even sure what I was begging for. Whatever it was, he understood, suckling one breast into his mouth and pinching the other nipple harder. My toes curled into the cushions of the sofa as I lifted my hips, grinding my dripping pussy against the front of his pants.
My hands dipped under the elastic of his waistband so I could cup the firm, muscled cheeks of his ass. His hips shoved forward against my pussy, burying me in the soft sofa and I gasped, his cock grinding right where I needed him.
“You’ll make me come,” I breathed, not sure if he was hearing me, but from the way I was making a huge wet spot on his sweatpants, I couldn’t imagine he didn’t know.
He nuzzled his face between my breasts, leaving them with a squeeze that promised more attention before he stretched out above me, his humongous body covering mine. He buried his face against my ear, purring words that made me shudder against him.
“I want to feel your pussy against my cock, Gul-ar. Will you let me?”