CHAPTER 27
Rudgar
I paced inside my office, my eyes narrowed on the screen in front of me as I waited for any information my contacts could find on Veron and his warlocks. It was hard—since they lived on another plane—but I had sources that were able to dig into places they shouldn’t—when given a direction.
Using Rok’s knowledge of his homeland, I gave some leads and generous payments for anything that they could give me. It was killing me that I wasn’t able to protect Zara from this threat.
She was going to have to rely on her coven and herself. It irked me, a thorn buried deep that I wanted to dig out. I needed to keep her safe, but I didn’t know how.
I couldn’t fight against this enemy with brute force the way I was used to.
The way I’d love to.
Just imagining jamming my fist into the face of the prick who’d taken her got my blood boiling. He’d taken her. He’d put his filthy hands on her. He’d tortured her and I wasn’t going to be able to get my hands dirty?
Bullshit.
“Look at you,” Dristan said from the door of my office, his eyebrow quirked and his arms folded over his chest as if he’d been standing there for a while. “You’re looking as stressed as I used to be when I was worried about Penelope not being able to fall in love with me.”
“Low blow,” I told him, eyeing my computer again, ensuring that I didn’t have any responses. “But the difference is that you were able to give Pen everything she needs in a mate.”
I dropped into my chair, keeping my gaze averted as I continued, “I don’t think Zara needs me for anything.”
Dristan made a small, thoughtful sound as he tapped on the doorway. “And why do you say that?”
I rolled my eyes, slumping in my chair. “She can take care of herself. She has taken care of herself. I went with her to the Guardian of the forest in case she needed me, but I was wrong. Instead, I needed her . If she didn’t help us there, we wouldn’t have gotten out,” I explained.
I clenched my fist, trembling with helpless frustration. “I would do anything for her, Dris. I just don’t know what .”
Dristan moved to the visitor’s chair that was in front of my desk, leaning back and strumming his fingers on the arms. “And you want her to need your protection,” he said in a considering voice.
My brow furrowed, and I shook my head. “No, I want her to need something , Dris. Literally anything from me. But she’s doing it all on her own,” I sighed.
“And you haven’t provided shelter for her? For her coven? You’re not giving her the room that she needs to come into her power? The acceptance of who she is? Of what she could be?” he asked, those fingers still strumming while he sat there with quiet composure so different from what I was used to from him.
I stared at him, confused. “Who the fuck are you and what have you done with my brother?” I asked him.
A sharp bark of laughter was my response. “Someone who’s been watching you beat yourself up over something you have no control over. You’re missing the point of a mating,” he told me with a gentle smile that I remembered from when we were growing up.
This was the male who had taken over the role of my father without a question. Without a single complaint.
“What’s the point of a mating?” I asked, knowing that the peace that I was witnessing inside my older brother could only be found with a completed bond.
I wasn’t sure I would ever get to that point. Where Zara and I would be so enmeshed in each other that we didn’t know where one ended and the other began.
“To accept each other for who we are. To fill the missing pieces,” he responded, twining his hands over his stomach now and giving me a slow, happy smile. One that I never thought I’d ever see on his face. “And to think about what she actually needs rather than what you want to give her.”
I sucked in a breath, feeling the blow of those words like a solid punch to my chest. I was trying to fit her needs to what I felt comfortable with providing. I’d been born to protect my family, but so was Zara.
She protected her coven with the same intensity I protected my family. Maybe that’s not what I needed to give to her. Instead, I could help her see that she had everything that she needed inside of her. Every part that she was looking for was already there.
I saw that fear in her eyes that I recognized in Dristan for a long time when we were growing up. The fear of not being enough. Not being what everyone needed. But that was the furthest thing from the truth.
Dristan had found his way eventually, and I’d been able to help him. Now I needed to focus on my mate. No, I didn’t need to protect her.
We were capable of protecting every member of our clan—including her coven—and I just needed to show her that she was ready for the challenge.
I eyed my brother where he was looking at me with the quiet strength that he’d grown into. I leaned forward, bracing my arms on my desk.
“This is payback for when I messed with your mating, isn’t it?” I asked him, narrowing my eyes.
“Yep,” he said, popping the p and standing, giving a loud harrumph. “And the next time you want to become as grumpy as I am ,” he continued, giving the last few words in the falsetto he used to sound like his mate, “then make sure Pen doesn’t hear about it, so I’m not forced to leave our bed at this ridiculous hour.” He turned on his heel, striding toward the door of my office.
“It’s eight in the morning,” I called to him. “You used to get in earlier than this.”
“I used to not have a life,” he challenged, sending a middle-fingered salute toward me, over his shoulder. “Now get your shit together and stop moping.” He paused for a moment, sending a smirk over his shoulder. “And nice beard, by the way. Following in my footsteps.”
“I love you,” I shouted at him and he grunted in response.
Watching my brother leave, I stiffened my shoulders, standing from my desk and grabbing what I needed before I headed home. It was time that I talked to my mate about everything that was going on.
I’m going to have to get used to this .
Walking into a coven was something of a disaster. No matter what was going on, I was certain that I could never anticipate what would happen.
I’d knocked on the door of the main apartment they were staying in, knowing my female would be there, consulting on what needed to be done for her wand.
“Come in!” someone shouted from the other side, so I swung the door open, stepping inside and immediately stepping on a book that was spread on the floor. I jerked backward, off of it, but it was too late.
A small missile launched itself at me, burying its teeth into my leg. While I didn’t feel anything—since orc skin was tough to penetrate or hurt—it was disconcerting to say the least.
“Gabbi, no,” Tasia gasped, reaching for the little female, but she clung to me, her teeth buried as deep as she could get them as she looked up at me with a plea in her eyes.
“Leave her,” I said with a sigh, making a happy squeal leave the little girl. “I’m fine.”
“Oh but she’s biting—” Tasia tried to say, but I waved her off.
“It’s nothing. Orc-skin is tough.”
She looked at me with suspicion for a second before attempting to pry on Gabbi, but the little girl held on tighter, refusing to release me. With a sigh and a glance at my face to determine how genuine I was being, Tasia nodded, sending me a grateful smile before she moved back to the sofa she had been sitting on.
Every female of the coven had a few books in front of them, going through the pages and sending a half-hearted wave my way. Gabbi had lain her own picture books out in front of the door. That was what I’d stepped on when I’d entered.
“Zara?” I asked, looking around and Tabitha pointed toward a bedroom when Gabbi got bored with my lack of reaction and toddled back to her books. I moved over toward it, my mate’s scent filling my lungs and calming the raging emotions inside of me.
“Gul-ar,” I said in a low voice as I stepped inside. She looked up from where she’d covered the bed with books, open pages surrounding her.
“Hey,” she said with a smile, scuttling off the bed to meet me at the door. My chest ached as she did.
I knew how busy she was. She was searching for a way to focus her powers, but she’d dropped that for me without a second thought. I swept her up in my arms as soon as she was close enough, crushing her against my chest.
“Oof,” she gasped, running her hands over my back, tucking her legs around me to steady herself. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, but I wanted to talk to you,” I told her, moving so I was sitting on an empty space on the bed, settling her on my lap and ensuring she was looking at me. “And it’s serious.”
“Well if it’s serious, then you shouldn’t be tempting me with your orc meat,” she sniffed, rolling her hips and making my eyes cross.
“Behave,” I growled, giving her ass a firm squeeze.
“Behave yourself ,” she said with a grin, running her fingers through my beard and then down my chest. “You’re the one who came in here looking scrumptious when I’m stressed out. We’re looking for anything else we need to know before we try to cast a protection spell on the wood that Savla’s going to make my wand from.”
Her words settled some of the lust that was pumping through my veins and I ran a gentle hand down her back. “I can help you look,” I said in a low voice and the sweet shock and joy that filled her face at my words made me want to smack myself across the head.
This is what she needs. The little things that make a mating a mating.
“And then once you’re done, I’d like to take you on a date,” I said in a low, deep voice.
“A date?” she asked, swallowing hard and licking her lips.
The lips that I’d die for a taste of.
“I thought we weren’t supposed to leave the building,” she said, her brow furrowed.
“We’re not going to leave the building. We’re staying inside, but I’m taking you on a date. I haven’t even had the chance to give you the full tour,” I explained, needing her to know that no matter what, she’d be safe. I’d never put her in harm’s way.
“Ooh,” she said, grinning at me before dropping a sweet kiss on my lips. “My male’s taking me on a real date?”
My chest filled with pride at those words.
Her male. She called me her male.
“Yes, he is. And while I don’t have much experience in dating,” I admitted with a shrug, “I’ve done some research before coming up with my plans.
She nuzzled her nose against mine, her smile in her voice as she said, “Please tell me that the research doesn’t have anything to do with what Dristan considers a date.”
“No, I wasn’t that desperate,” I chuckled, running my tusks over her jaw and throat, covering her in my scent.
“Good, then let’s go through these together so we can do the spell and go on our date,” she murmured, but it didn’t seem like she was in any hurry to get off my lap.