14. Harry
Wow, how the hell did that happen? I curl over in the bed next to Petra and run my eyes all over her sleeping face, drinking in every angelic part of her, every soft curve and sweet smile. I know that I shouldn’t be here doing this. I understand that I’m risking my job to be here, but she’s just so beautiful.
Last night, I slept in her bed because she was scared, and today it’s because we’ve been having sex all day long. It’s very different, and I can really feel the intensity of that. I like it, even though I know I shouldn’t. And when I say sex all day long, I really mean it. Every angle, every room, everywhere. It has been fucking fantastic. I think that we have purged all the negativity we’ve ever experienced in love.
I can’t stop myself from smiling. I feel really good. Petra has made me feel this way, and I’m so grateful. I want us to spend the rest of our time here on the island exploring one another’s bodies some more. There’s more, much more that we can do to one another, and I hope we have enough time for all of it.
Of course, real life is out there, coming for us eventually, but I don’t want to focus on that right now. This is the first time I have felt this good in a really long time. It’s unexpected to have that come from Petra, but I’m more than happy to roll with it. It’s like a holiday romance or something.
Here, in the middle of nowhere, isolated on this island, it’s easy to forget that I’m hardened to love, that she is married and running away from her husband, that we are both in danger. None of that matters while we’re in our little bubble. I would love to stay in this bubble for as long as possible.
But I’m not falling in love, I remind myself. Don’t let Benji get in your head. Ignore him. This is what he wants… he’s been trying to get me thinking this way the entire time.
Yet I do find myself wanting to stroke the softness of her cheek, to feel her skin, to maybe plant a little kiss on her. The sensation is damn near overwhelming, so I need to edge myself backward a bit.
So, it is with a heavy heart that I slip backward from Petra and force myself out of the bed. I don’t really want to leave Petra there. I much prefer sleeping with her, but I need to clear my head a bit. It’s just after midnight and I’m no closer to drifting off with her right now, so it would be good to get some air.
I pad down the stairs and head into the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water. For a split second, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge, which causes me to pause where I am in anticipation. But the feeling doesn’t last long. I think it’s just the dark and paranoia rather than something real. I’m more worried about Petra now. Even more so than before, I need to keep her safe. With everything I have.
However, with that in mind, I know that I need to check the perimeter out. Even if the feeling is long gone, I have to be certain or I really will be up all night long. So, I glug back my water and grab my gun to take with me. I have a T-shirt and shorts on, but it’s chilly. The nights here can be, so I don’t intend to be out too long. My initial plan is just to check around the house to make sure there isn’t anything to worry about.
As I walk around the building, the feeling of unease is a rollercoaster. Sometimes, it’s there again, and sometimes, it flows away and I feel okay again. It makes me search a whole lot harder. I go further in my search than I planned on in first place. I ignore the cold to take a look around.
“What the hell is that?” I declare, needing to break the silence as I spot something new. “That’s.”
It’s different. I have scoured every single inch of this island every day that we have been here and had not seen whatever this is before. Nerves zig-zag through me as I edge closer to the item. Something new is not good news because other people shouldn’t be allowed on this island. No one should be able to get here. So, how the hell did that end up here? And what the fuck is it? Is it a bomb? It’s hard to tell in the dark…
“A hat?” Fucking hell. There is absolutely no reason that a hat should be here. I don’t wear hats and I haven’t seen Petra in one, either. I can’t imagine her in something this ratty, so what the fuck is this?
My heart pounds. I start to feel a bit sick to my stomach. This is the worst thing that has happened since we’ve been here. It’s serious danger. I don’t know what it might lead to, and instead of feeling pumped up about having some action, I’m put out of joint. I think because I’m so worried about Petra in that house.
This is why I shouldn’t have hooked up with her. Feelings do not mix with this sort of shit. Even if it’s just a chemical sexual feeling, it’s making things harder and more complicated than they need to be.
With the hat clutched tightly between my fingers, I search harder. I’m no longer feeling the cold because my racing pulse pumps burning hot blood all the way through my body. I know now that I won’t be sleeping anytime soon now that I have this goddamn evidence in my hand. A hat. A fucking hat. A hat that has been on a head which means someone’s freaking head has been too nearby. But I will find them…
What the hell? I can’t understand that at all. I’ve searched this whole place again and again. The sun is actually starting to rise, that’s how long I’ve been out here, but I haven’t found anything. None of my tracking skills have discovered anything, which isn’t right. I’m great at finding evidence, but this island is empty. Aside from the hat, there is nothing. If there wasn’t the hat, I would assume everything is fine…
But I know it isn’t. I know deep down that this is something to worry about, so now that the sun is coming up, I need to call Max to let him know what’s going on here.
Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
I pace up and down the path as I wait for Max to pick up. I get that it might be a bit early for him, but I don’t give a shit. I’m going to call him until he picks up because this is a goddamn emergency.
“Harry!” Max sounds a little out of breath as he answers. “Sorry, what’s going on?”
“Someone has been here,” I bark out, the frustration starting to get to me now. “I have had a weird feeling on and off for days, and now I’ve just found a hat. Someone has been here, Max.”
“That’s not possible. There haven’t been any boats on the island. None. I know.”
“But there has. There’s a hat here. That wouldn’t be here without a human. Max, take this seriously.”
“I am, Harry,” he barks back. “You don’t need to worry about that. You know that I’m taking it seriously. I always do. We aren’t paid a whole heap of money for nothing. There haven’t been any boats. Maybe the hat blew onto the island or something. I don’t have any other explanation for you.”
“No, Max. It isn’t that.” I shake my head as if he can see me. “I’m telling you there is more.”
“Well, we are watching everyone linked to Jake and they are all still here. No one has moved, and as far as we can see, no one knows where you guys are. No one knows where Petra is.”
I’m silent for a beat too long. I understand what Max is saying to me, but at the same time, I know. My gut is screaming out to me that something is off here, and I won’t let him convince me otherwise.
“Harry, I can practically hear the cogs ticking around in your brain. You need to stop worrying. I will tell you if anything happens, if there is anything you need to worry about, okay?”
“Hmm.” I can’t give Max a positive response because I don’t agree with him. “Okay, sure.”
“Honestly, Harry, don’t be like that. I know what I’m doing. I’ve never let you down before, have I? I always have eyes on everything going on. You can trust me. Believe in me, okay?”
The thing is I know I can trust Max. So, I’m a bit torn. “Yeah, I believe you.”
“Good, because I know everything that’s going on. The hat means nothing.”
I stare at it. At the fucking hat which is driving me insane. It doesn’t mean nothing. I can feel it. But I don’t suppose that arguing with Max about this is going to get me anywhere.
“Right. So, I will just forget about the hat, then. I will just carry on with Petra.”
But as we talk for a little while longer before we hang up the phone, the stress in my gut only screams louder. I suppose this is something that I will have to work out all on my own. I’ll have to not only research every nook and cranny of this island, but the nearby town as well. I’ll have to take a trip over there to see if I can find any clues that someone has been around. Someone who shouldn’t have been around.
I can’t alert Petra, through. I’ll have to make sure that she is calm the entire time. I’ll tell her that I’m going on a shopping trip or something so she doesn’t panic. Especially because it might end in death. If I find that someone has been around and after Petra, then I honestly might have to kill them. I can’t imagine just letting the person go. The risk that they pose is just too damn much for me. I can’t stand it. She is too precious to be hurt, and while I know that’s a dangerous path to go down, I can’t help myself.
Eventually, I head back up to the house, trying to keep myself stoic and calm as I do. If I’m going to sell this to Petra, if I’m going to make her think that I’m fine, then I need to sell it from the get-go. She needs to see me as cool and in control of the whole situation. Anything that I worry about will rub off on her, and I don’t like seeing Petra worried. It makes everything so much harder to deal with.
Luckily, I find her still sleeping when I head back inside. I don’t think that she has noticed me gone at all. That’s good. I’m glad about that. It gives me time to breathe and think. I climb back into bed with her and hug her for a little while longer. One, so she really doesn’t notice that I haven’t been in bed all night, and two, because I want to feel her, to remind myself what all of this is for.
I will do anything to keep Petra safe, and not just because it’s my job to do so but because she needs to be kept safe. I won’t let her asshole Mob husband do anything to her because she’s far too good for that.