16. Harry
Being on edge isn’t good for me. It hinders my thought process, but I feel all antsy the entire boat ride over. Not only because I don’t want Petra to check the food cupboards and to work out that we’re fully stocked, which will only make her even more suspicious of my trip, but also because I’m going to scour the area to see if my gut is right. I just know that the hat means a person has been around. I can feel it. But who?
Not feeling safe is one thing. Not feeling like Petra is safe is quite another. I can’t stand it.
She will be safe, I try to convince myself. That’s what you’re here for. To keep her safe. To protect her.
My gun is with me, but I don’t want it to be something I use out on the streets if necessary. Of course, I will do whatever it takes, but drawing any attention to myself isn’t a good thing. Thank God I have tons of experience in fading into the background. It’s one of the things that I’m best at.
I park the boat up at the port and immediately take a walk around to chat to everyone I can see. I want to know what boats have come in and out of here, who has access to a way to the island, and what’s been going on. There must be someone in charge here whom I can speak to.
“Ah!” I see the guy who took me over to the island in the first place. We might not have talked much then, but I know him enough to approach him now. If only I could remember his name.
“Oh, hi.” Thankfully, he recognizes me first, so I don’t need to be the one to make the approach. Max is the one who sorted things out with him, and I know he has a good reputation, but I hope we can keep this conversation as discrete as possible. Especially since Max doesn’t see any reason to worry. “How’s it going? Do you need any help to get anywhere? The store isn’t too much of a trek. I can take you.”
“Actually, before I go anywhere, I just wanted to know about boats,” I tell him with a hushed tone. He nods sharply once, seeming to get it. “About boats leaving here in the last few days.”
“This isn’t a busy port,” he says right away. “There haven’t really been any boats.”
“Really, or not at all? I have proof that someone has been over to the island.”
“No one has been but you.” He shakes his head hard. “I have my orders and I know what to do. I understand that you are in a delicate situation right now, and you can’t be disturbed. I’ve been keeping an eye on it. There hasn’t been a single boat from here to the island.”
I can see that he’s telling me the truth, which only puts me in a worse position. I’m sure that this hat has come from somewhere, from someone, so why haven’t they come from here?
“Is there any other way a boat can get over to the island?” I push because there is something inside me screaming for answers. “Anywhere at all? We have been sensing someone for days.”
“No way.” He holds up his hands in a surrendering gesture. “Not a chance. There is no way that someone could have come over to you. Do you think you might be sensing something else?”
Urgh, now this is another person basically telling me that I’m imagining things, which is very annoying. I don’t like it at all. Logically, I know that this must be the case if everyone is saying the same thing, but that doesn’t make it any easier to digest. My gut can’t be wrong, it just can’t be.
“Right. Sure.” I know that I won’t get anything else here, so I force a smile onto my face and point behind me. “Well, thank you for your help. I need to get to the store now. Get in some supplies. You know how it is. But, erm, thank you for answering all of my questions. That’s made me feel… a lot better.”
“If you ever need help with your shopping or whatever, you know that you can just ask me.”
I give him the thumbs up because I appreciate the offer, but it won’t be one I take him up on. It seems like I might need to visit the mainland a lot if I want to keep on top of things. I can hear the opinions of other people, but until I see things with my own eyes, I find it very hard to trust in them. Max always tells me that’s a Navy SEAL trait I don’t need to bring with me to this job, but there’s no stopping it now.
I didn’t imagine it. My hand curls up in anger, creating a useless fist by my side. I know I’m not faking this feeling. Sure, the hat could have blown onto the island. That’s a possible theory, but I know it isn’t true. Now, this is a small town, so I’m sure that if there were someone suspicious around, someone will know and be able to tell me. Then I can snap into action knowing that I’ve been proven right. If I need to ask everyone to get what I need, then I will, but a sure first place to start will be the grocery store. Someone is bound to have visited if they are around. Everyone needs to eat at some point, don’t they? And even if not, a lot of gossip will happen there. In this sort of community, it’s the heart of the town, the center of it all. I can begin there and spread out until I’ve spoken to everyone to get what I want.
“Benji, something is fucked up here,” I tell him seriously the moment he picks up the phone. “I don’t know what it is, but I can feel it. Something is just wrong, and I can’t work out what it is.”
I might be standing on the boat, about to make my journey back over to the island and to Petra as well, but since I don’t have anything to return with, it doesn’t feel right. I would have thought that at least one person would have something to tell me. But nothing. No one. Not a goddamn thing.
“Is this about the hat?” Benji asks me wearily. “Max told me all about it. I don’t know why you’re so worried, Harry. You know that I would have told you if there were anything to worry about. The last thing I would want is for you to be stranded and in trouble out there. But there isn’t anything.”
I grit my teeth together in frustration. Why doesn’t he get it? Why doesn’t anyone get it? “Benji, you were a SEAL with me. You know how good my gut instinct is. Don’t pretend you don’t.”
“I know that much, but you should also be aware that we are doing our job on this end as well. We really do have this under control. Even if you can’t see it, we’re working our asses off.”
“But someone has slipped through the net. Something has happened. I just know it.”
I rake my fingers through my hair and drink in the silence coming from the other end. Benji, my best friend, isn’t buying this. He seems to think that I’m just rambling or something, that I don’t know for sure what I’m talking about. But I do. So, how the hell will I get him to understand that?
“Benji, I’m just asking for some extra research or surveillance or something. I don’t know what, exactly, but I need you to believe me that something isn’t right here. It just isn’t.”
“Alright,” he finally replies after what I consider a little too long. It doesn’t flood me with confidence, I will admit that. “I’ll speak to Max and see what I can do for you. But only because if you tell me that this is because of your gut, then I will trust you. I know that’s helped us out before.”
“Thank you.” Finally, I can let go of all the tense air and breathe with relief. “Thank you, Benji.”
“I’ll give you a call as soon as I know anything. Until then, just keep yourself safe, okay?”
“I will.” I just about manage a smile now. Finally, I have someone on my side. Whatever is going on, Petra and I are going to be alright, and that really is the main thing. “Thanks, Benji. Speak soon.”
Once he’s gone, it’s time for me to get my ass back to the island. I bet Petra is going nuts without me. Actually, I kinda like the idea of her going nuts without me. It makes me wonder what will happen next…
“Petra?” I kind of expected her to come running out to greet me, but she hasn’t. I guess she’s taking her locking inside seriously, which is good because any sound could be linked to the stranger. “Petra, I’m back.”
I wander through the house yelling her name louder each time, but I get no reply. I start to think that maybe she’s sleeping upstairs, so I wander into her room, expecting her to be snuggled up cutely under the sheets. She has been sleeping, that much is instantly obvious, because the bed is mussed up and she doesn’t ever leave it that way, but she isn’t in there now. The bed is warm, but empty. It wasn’t long ago that Petra got out of bed, but since I can’t see her, she must have gone far…
“Petra?” Fuck, I’m really trying not to freak out, but this is a bit weird. “Petra, where are you?”
My heart is pounding like crazy. I can barely breathe. It’s making me feel sick. The paranoia that has been gripping me all day long intensifies. I can’t help but go to the darkest place immediately, thinking that the worst has happened. That while I’ve been gone, the visitor the hat belongs to has returned and now I don’t know where she is. Max will fucking kill me if something has happened to Petra. I’m not supposed to leave if there are other options, and I could have gotten someone else to bring food.
He will know as well. He’ll understand that I went on a hunt for the danger he told me wasn’t around. Not only is Petra in a whole heap of trouble, but I am as well. All because I couldn’t let the hat go.
“Petra, where are you?” I cry out as I burst outside. I don’t want to get too freaked out because she could have gotten bored and gone for a walk or something. I can’t panic yet. “Petra, are you here?”
I run around the island. I have to check absolutely everywhere to be one hundred percent sure, but with every passing second, I become increasingly panicked. This is not right. Petra wouldn’t leave me this long without answering me. If she’s here, I’m sure that she would have heard me by now.
This isn’t right. She’s gone. Something has happened to her and it’s my own fault. Because of my paranoia, even if it was right, I left her behind, and now she’s been taken. What the fuck am I going to do now? I need to get the hell out of here, that’s for sure, and I need to call Max and Benji as well. Things have gone to shit and I need them onsite. Even if it lands me in the shit, which it might do.