Chapter Thirteen – Zeth #2
It’s absolute torture for me to feel her arousal and know that I caused it.
She’s wet all day, and I can feel everything – the sensitivity of her skin, the ache in her core.
By afternoon, we’re both barely functional, going through motions on autopilot.
The tension builds with each passing hour, neither of us acknowledging what’s happening but both completely aware.
We return to the motel room late afternoon. Wren doesn’t ask me to unmerge. Instead, she throws herself on the bed and stares at the ceiling. I wait inside her, uncertain of what’s happening. The silence stretches long and uncomfortable.
“Maybe we need to talk,” she says.
“Okay.”
“This merging situation... it’s become easier for me. I even enjoy it to some degree. You make me feel strong and safe.” She pauses. “But it’s still too much.”
I wait and don’t interrupt.
“I need to ask you something directly.” Another pause. “When we sleep like this, when I dream... do you have access to my dreams?”
I hesitate. I know I need to tell the truth, but I dread it. I’m frankly shocked she’s opening the conversation. She’s definitely braver than I am.
“Yes.”
Her heart rate spikes.
“When you dream, I get pulled into it. But I do have a choice. I can exit and end the dream for both of us.” I continue, “You initiate it because it’s your mind, but once I’m there, I have agency too.”
Wren groans out loud and covers her face with her hands. She feels like crying. Waves of humiliation roll through her, and I feel all of it through our connection.
“It’s all fine, Wren. It’s normal, it’s–”
“It’s not fine!” she snaps. “I had that dream last night. I’m sure you know which dream I’m talking about. It all really happened, didn’t it?” Her inner voice gets louder, more distressed. “You were there. You participated. Oh God, this is so wrong.”
“Yes, it happened. I was there. I... I participated.”
“I’m so sorry. I feel so guilty now.” She sits up, agitated. “I pulled you into a dream you maybe didn’t want to be in. That was non-consensual. I basically forced you to–”
She can’t finish the sentence.
“No. Stop. That’s not what happened. Yes, you initiated the dream.
Yes, there were prompts in my head from you, things you wanted.
But I was completely in control of my own actions.
What happened was because I wanted it to happen.
” My voice softens. “You didn’t force me to do anything, Wren.
I should apologize to you. I took advantage of your vulnerability.
I’m your bodyguard. I should have ended the dream the moment I realized what it was.
Instead, I stayed. I wanted it too much to walk away. That’s on me, not you.”
“No, you didn’t take advantage of me. What happened... happened. Neither of us could stop it because we were both too into it.”
She realizes what she just admitted. Silence falls between us.
“I guess I just confessed I’m into you.” She gives a nervous laugh. “Are you... are you into me as well?”
The vulnerability in her voice is painful, but at the same time, such a privilege to witness.
“More than anything.” I let that hang there for a moment.
“I know it’s wrong. I know we shouldn’t be doing this.
But Wren, I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone.
When I’m with you, which is basically all the time, I am crazy with lust. But I will keep myself in check if this is inappropriate and you don’t want it. ”
“I do want you. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Usually, I have more control. But the fact that you’re inside me, literally... it’s so intimate and erotic that all I can think about is you. It’s consuming me.”
She rubs her eyes and takes a deep breath, lying back atop the duvet and fixating on the ceiling.
“This is a conundrum, isn’t it?” she asks.
“Yes.”
“Our relationship should be professional.”
“It should be.”
“Yet here we are.”
Silence again.
“Do you want to unmerge? We can maintain more distance if I’m not inside you,” I offer.
“No. I don’t want that.”
“Then what do you want?”
She thinks for a long moment.
“I want whatever you can give me in our shared dreams. Maybe if we do things in dreams, it will be different than if we did them in the real world. Maybe that’s a compromise we can both live with.”
Without warning, I send a wave of sensation through her body. I make her nipples tingle and harden, and send heat directly to her core. Pleasure pulses through her, making her gasp out loud and arch her back.
“I never imagined you could do that to my body,” she says, breathless. “How... how are you doing that?”
“If I can control your movements when we train...” My voice has a dark edge, almost a chuckle. “If I can repair your muscles, enhance your strength, heal your injuries... then I can do anything to your body.” I pause. “And I will do anything you want, as long as you give consent.”
She feels dizzy with arousal, her head spinning. She recovers, though, when she thinks about why we’re here, in this dingy motel. It’s certainly not to hook up, but because we’re on a mission together.
“I need to think.” I can tell she’s struggling to sound normal. She sits up quickly. “I need to go for a walk. We need to go for a walk.” She corrects herself because we’re merged and, naturally, we go everywhere together.
She grabs her jacket and heads for the door. She needs air and space to think, even though I’m literally inside her.
I don’t protest. I just flow with her movements as we leave the motel room together.