Chapter Twenty-One – Zeth #2
She pushes me off her, and I slip out of her and fall onto my back.
I watch in confusion as she scrambles to her feet, looking around the room wildly, then down at her legs.
My black seed seeps out of her pussy and onto her inner thighs, and there’s so much of it, coating her skin, dripping down her legs. I see her blush at the sight of it.
As far as I’m concerned, I like her this way, but something is clearly going on.
“What’s wrong?” I ask. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You said–”
She shakes her head and presses her hands to her eyes.
“No, it’s fine. It will be fine. It’s just that you came inside me, and I’m not on the pill. But it’s okay, I’ll just find a drugstore and buy the morning after pill.”
“Oh,” I say weakly. “I’m sorry.”
I’m horrified because I didn’t think about it at all, I just let myself be carried away by the intensity of the moment. Now I regret it because I know it’s a big deal. Had she stopped me, I would’ve listened and not finished inside her, but she didn’t know to stop me because I didn’t warn her.
I get up from the bed, feeling wretched, and walk to the window. I steal a glance outside through the heavy curtains, and we’re on a higher floor, so no one can see me. I need to look at something other than her panicked face.
“I fucked up,” I whisper.
Wren steps closer to me and hugs me from behind, her arms wrapping around my waist, cheek pressed to my back.
“No, it’s okay. I should’ve thought about it, but I got carried away. This isn’t on you, it’s on both of us. And for the record, I don’t regret it.”
“You don’t?”
“No. That was hot.” She kisses my shoulder blade. “I’ll wash quickly, then go to the drugstore.”
I nod, unable to say anything else. After another moment, I hear her moving into the bathroom, then the shower starts running. I space out, staring at the city below.
It’s hard for me to believe that seeing that woman tonight rendered me useless and turned me into a liability to Wren and the mission. Instead of being there for Wren, she’d had to be there for me, hold me together, comfort me, and reassure me. I’m a fuck-up in every possible way.
Wren comes out of the bathroom wrapped in a white towel, and she frowns at me.
I don’t understand what the problem is at first, but then I see her staring at the tatters of her clothes on the floor.
The only things left intact are her bra and her Louboutin shoes.
Everything else is shredded beyond repair.
“Well,” she says without humor, “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now.”
I feel again like I’ve messed everything up and it’s all my fault. I’m so angry at myself that I want to punish myself physically, want to bang my head against the wall until I’m unconscious, but I don’t do it because that would be unfair to Wren. She’s holding it together, and I’m not even trying.
“I’ll go to the drugstore,” I tell her. “Buy everything you need.”
I don’t wait for her reply. I melt into a pool of black tar and slide across the carpet toward the door.
I slip under the gap at the bottom, and as I move into the corridor in liquid form, I knock into something.
It’s a duffle bag. I realize it’s Wren’s, and I slip back into the room and materialize in front of her.
She gasps, startled. “Well, that was fast.”
I shake my head and open the door, letting her see the bag sitting in the hallway.
She grins widely.
“It seems Dale left it for me. How thoughtful of him. I won’t lie, so far it looks like these mafia guys are very organized. I suppose that’s another reason why it’s called organized crime?”
She laughs at her own silly joke and grabs the bag, bringing it inside. She starts rummaging for clean clothes.
“But it’s a little concerning that they know what room I’m in,” she sighs.
I watch her as she gets dressed.
“I’ll go report to your handler now. That is, if you don’t want me with you at the drugstore.”
“I’ll be fine,” she assures me. “For now, I think we’ll have a peaceful night. No one is going to bother us, so you can go and report about the mission, tell the FBI everything we’ve learned since I was kidnapped. I’ll go to the drugstore and that’s it. I won’t go anywhere else.”
I need to speak to Tom, but hopefully, I’ll get to see Captain Holt.
Surely, the FBI is worried about her. I also think this is a great opportunity for me to flee and be alone with my thoughts for a time.
I need to get it together before I mess up even more and Wren realizes how much of a fuck-up I am, regains her senses and rejects me.
Before I turn to liquid, I pull her in close and wrap my arms around her. I place a lingering kiss on her forehead.
“You’re wonderful. I’ve never met a woman like you, and I don’t deserve you.”
“Zeth–” she starts to say, wanting to contradict me.
I press a finger to her mouth to stop her. I don’t want to hear her say I deserve her, because I know the truth about myself, about what I am and what was done to me.
I collapse into a pool of liquid at her feet.