Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
JADE
I’ve never felt so close to breaking.
Back at the facility, I was terrified, but I didn’t let myself fall apart. I couldn’t. As soon as I submitted to the numbing panic and strangling fear, any chance of escaping would have been gone. So I shoved all the horrible thoughts away and focused on hanging on to some semblance of control.
Then the escape. Another terrifying thing. But again, I didn’t have the luxury of doing what I really wanted, which was curling into a ball and sobbing.
As I waited for Niall to come, I almost lost it. Sitting motionless in the woods, ears perked for any suspicious sound, my brain focused on the tiny sounds I couldn’t control. My shaky breaths, my frantic pulse, the tiny rustles as I shifted in the grass—they kept getting louder until I convinced myself I was about to be found.
Finally, I just counted, up into the thousands, reminding myself that each second was one closer to Niall getting there.
Even in the car, I wasn’t convinced I was safe. Each time another car went by, I was sure it was someone coming after me. Images flashed through my head—a car ramming into us, shooting the tires out, forcing us off the road and killing Niall before taking me…
But now that we’re at the Blade and Arrow property, my brain is gradually accepting that I might actually be safe. Finally.
As we passed through the perimeter gate, Niall pointed out several of the cameras and sensors, saying, “We can detect a drone up to three miles away. And we have full camera surveillance around the perimeter; it’ll alert us if a human enters the property.”
The second fence made me feel more reassured. Black metal, at least eight feet tall, secured by a sturdy gate with a biometric access pad that required not only a retinal scan and voice recognition, but entering a complicated code as well. “The fence is unscalable,” Niall explained once the gate closed behind us, “and it’s anti-ram, so nothing short of a tank can get through it.”
Even the garage looked safe, with at least a dozen cameras tucked into the walls at regular intervals. As Niall pulled to a stop between two SUVs, he pointed at a pair of metal BILCO doors over in one corner. “Those open to a passage that leads to the main house. So if you ever need to escape from one or the other, you can.”
I tensed at that, fear spearing through me again, and he added gently, “Not that you will. It’s just a precaution. Plus”—his lips curved up a bit—“we can use it to get inside when there’s bad weather.”
So that’s all good, which is a jarring difference from the last week of my life.
But my main focus since I was abducted—my only focus—has been escaping. Now that I’m safe, I don’t have that focus to keep all my other emotions at bay. Which means they’re all crashing into me, a hurricane of fear and confusion and anxiety and shame.
I feel brittle, like the slightest bump will shatter me.
But not now. Not here. Not when I’m about to meet some of Niall’s team. Not when I know I’m going to be expected to tell them everything, even the things I desperately don’t want to relive.
I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m glad Niall’s carrying me. Not just because of the protesting muscles in my legs, but because it makes me feel safe.
Niall won’t let anyone hurt me. It’s a certainty I know bone-deep.
“Are you okay, Jade?” We’re still in the garage, and Niall’s looking down at me with a concerned expression. “If holding you is too much, I understand.”
Despite everything that happened, I’m not worried about Niall touching me. It’s more the feeling of weakness I don’t want. After being restrained, unable to walk, to go anywhere on my own, being locked inside a room, poked and leered at and?—
My chest goes tight again, and I have to remind myself to breathe.
In my silence, the worry lines across his forehead grow deeper. “Hun. Tell me what you want. Whatever it is, I’ll make it happen.”
“It’s not too much.” Swallowing hard, I admit quietly, “I’m just scared. Not of you. Just...”
“Ah, Jade, it’s okay.” Niall gazes down at me, his twilight-blue eyes darkening in empathy. “It’s okay to be scared. But I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
The kindness in his expression is nearly my undoing.
It’s such a contrast to how I was treated before, after those terrible days of cold cruelty and oily depravity, it takes all my willpower to keep from sobbing into his shirt.
He stares at my face for a second, his brow wrinkling at something he sees. Then he says, “Okay. We’ll take the outside path to the house. Is that alright?”
My throat too thick to speak, I just nod.
As we exit the garage and walk toward the expansive ranch house, Niall explains, “So we have a main area in the center where we do all our Blade and Arrow business. Conference rooms. A reception area—I just painted that yesterday. Offices. Secure storage. A gym. And we’re working on getting a community room set up; a place where we can hold small events in the future.”
Any other time I’d be firing questions at him, because I was listening when he told me all about the renovations, and the place really does look interesting. It’s a huge brick ranch with two large wings extending from a central hub, and it looks to be at least five thousand square feet. Several patios and porches are tucked into little nooks along the front of the house, with oak trees casting some welcome shade against the rising heat of the day.
When Shea told me about Niall’s new job, I imagined him working out of some building in the city. This is much different, and infinitely more welcoming.
When we get close to the front door, Niall says, “My teammates are all here, since we’re not officially open for another few weeks. Rhiannon and Dante will probably be waiting for us, since they were both team medics.”
Almost as if he summoned them, the door opens to reveal a man and a woman standing in the doorway. The woman is slender but obviously in shape, with a long, brown ponytail and bright green eyes. The man is about as tall as Niall and just as muscly, with thick, dark hair and kind eyes.
As soon as they spot me in Niall’s arms, their expressions shift from concern to outright worry.
The woman—Rhiannon, I assume—gives me a reassuring smile very similar to the one I give my nervous patients. Then her gaze shifts to Niall. “The clinic’s all set up. Dante or I can examine Jade, whoever she chooses.”
Dante dips his head at me. “Hi, Jade. Rhiannon and I are both medics. So we can take a look. Get you feeling a little better.”
Little flutters of fear erupt in my stomach. A belt wraps around my chest, tightening.
Irrational thoughts start spinning through my head— what if they make Niall leave, what if they call 911 against my wishes, what if they drug me, what if they’re actually involved in all this…
Gray dots start to float across my vision. My pulse jackhammers in my head.
“Hey,” Niall murmurs. “I told you, it’s okay. I trust them.”
“Don’t leave me.” It bursts out, strained and desperate. “Please don’t leave me alone.”
I’m ashamed of my weakness, but I can’t help it. Fear is beating at me, I’m a second from losing it, and the thought of losing the only person I trust…
“I think Rhiannon would be better,” Niall announces, meeting her gaze.
“Absolutely.” She nods. To me, she says, “Our clinic is small, but it’s well-equipped. We have a portable ultrasound and X-ray machine; we can treat most minor injuries here, and I’m very good at suturing—” She stops and makes an apologetic face. “Sorry, Jade. I’m sure you’re not interested in this right now.”
“I am,” I manage, though speaking without crying is difficult. “I’m a PA. So… I think it’s interesting.”
Niall gives me an affectionate squeeze. “Jade’s a brilliant PA. She got her degree at George Washington and works at a family practice in Austin.”
I didn’t realize he knew about my new job.
But of course, Shea would have told him. Even though I haven’t spoken to Niall in over a year, she and her brother talk regularly. Shea doesn’t know about the accusations Niall and I threw at each other, and she doesn’t know that Niall probably isn’t interested in what I’m doing.
Although. He hasn’t seemed upset with me.
But would he, considering the circumstances? Probably not. Niall’s a protector through and through, and he’d never let his personal feelings get in the way of doing his duty. Or helping his little sister’s best friend, as it is.
Thinking about Niall is a welcome distraction from reality, but it comes crashing to a stop when we walk into the clinic. Faced with a gurney and IV stands and a counter with medical equipment neatly laid out across it, I can’t ignore the inevitable any longer.
I’d almost rather remain sick and in pain than have to talk about what happened.
But I don’t say that, because that would be weak.
Instead, I let Niall set me on the gurney and fight the urge to curl up in the fetal position.
I sit there passively while Rhiannon takes my temperature, my eyes focused on the cabinet across from me, trying to read all the tiny labels on each drawer.
When she reaches for my arm to take my blood pressure and asks if it’s okay, I nod wordlessly at her.
I stare at the floor as the sphygmomanometer inflates, counting the rows and columns of tiles.
After days of terror, then hours of running in fear, my mind and body are shutting down.
“Do you see this?” Rhiannon lightly touches the inside of my elbow as she draws Niall’s attention. “The bruising?”
Niall steps away from the wall where he’s been leaning and peers at my arm. He lets out a low hiss of dismay, then says, “Jade, hun. Did someone inject something into your arm?”
It takes a second for his question to filter through the fog collecting in my head. Flatly, I tell him, “Yes. At first. A sedative. I’m not sure which one. But later, I convinced them to give me the pills instead.”
His expression goes stony, while Rhiannon says, “Okay. I’m just going to take some blood so we can have it tested. Find out what you were given.”
She’s about to draw my blood when I blurt out in a panic, “Don’t use my name. You can’t. They can’t know I’m here. I won’t give my blood if you?—”
“We won’t,” she assures me. “There’s a private company we use. There won’t be a name attached. I promise.”
She seems nice, but I don’t know her, so I look at Niall with my brows raised in question. “We won’t,” he affirms. “I promise, Jade. No one will know you’re here.”
After that, things blur together again.
I’m hooked up to an IV after Rhiannon tells me, “You’re dehydrated. And after this, you definitely need to eat something.”
As she cleans the cuts on my face, Niall scowls, looking like he wants to break something.
Rhiannon checks my body while Niall turns away, her brows shooting up when she looks at the blossoming bruises on my hip and upper arm. “From when I escaped,” I explain, and I’m relieved when she doesn’t press further.
But then she says, “Niall. You’ll need to leave the room for the next part,” and everything comes back into laser focus.
I jerk up to a seated position and grab Niall’s hand before he can go anywhere. “No. Don’t leave.” Tears burn behind my eyes. “You promised. You said you wouldn’t leave.”
His gaze bounces between mine and Rhiannon’s, clearly unhappy about it. “I know. But there are some things… I’ll wait right outside. We can leave the door cracked open.”
“No.” My voice rises. “I don’t want the exam. I don’t need it.”
Rhiannon starts, “Jade…”
“No.” I’m adamant. “No one touched me like that. There were… men. They touched me. But not… sexually.” At Rhiannon and Niall’s skeptical expressions, I force myself to add, “They weren’t allowed. From what I heard… they were saving me. For whoever…” I trail off, unable to say the rest.
Niall lets out a series of muttered curses through a clenched jaw. His hands clench into fists.
“Jade,” Rhiannon begins again, more gently this time. “You said you were drugged.”
I push my anger aside—it’s not Rhiannon’s fault; I’d be saying the same thing—and try to answer calmly, “I was only fully out the first night. And only for a few hours. No one did anything. I would have known. And after… I wasn’t unconscious. I was aware of”—my breath catches—“everything.”
She still doesn’t look convinced, so I force out the worst part. Voice small and strained, I say, “I heard the nurses tell the men. When they were looking at me. They weren’t allowed to… they could touch my skin, but that was all. Everything else was only for the person who bought me.”
“Fuck!” Niall slams his fist into the wall. He turns away for a second, his back moving as he takes in several deep breaths. Then he faces me again, his handsome features tight with pain. “I’m so fucking sorry, Jade. We’ll find them. And you’re safe. Okay? No one is going to get to you. I swear it.”
Rhiannon frowns and glances at Niall. “We should call the police. Get them on this. We don’t have to tell them Jade is here. We can meet them somewhere?—”
“No police. No hospital.” I shake my head so vehemently, everything spins for a second. “It’s not safe. I’ll tell you why. Just not yet. Please. I just…”
Niall catches my hand, holding it like a fragile baby bird fallen out of its nest. “Jade. It’s your choice. If you say no police, we won’t contact them. Period. Okay?”
My fingers convulse around his. “Okay.”
“So we’ll let the IV finish,” Rhiannon says, briskly changing topics. “It doesn’t look like there are any serious injuries, just the cuts and bruises. I’d suggest food and some sleep to start. And if you change your mind about anything, or you want to talk…” Her gaze moves to mine, softening. “I’m here. I can come see you any time.”
“I’ll take her to my place,” Niall announces. “Get her some food. Do you have any clothes to lend, Rhi?”
“Of course.” Her gaze sweeps over me. “My clothes might be a little long, but otherwise…”
“Wait.” Puzzle pieces are slowly slotting together. I look up at Niall. “Your apartment? Where? Are we leaving? I… I don’t want to leave again.”
“Ah, no. We’re not leaving.” His thumb smooths across the back of my hand. “We all live here, in our own apartments. Mine isn’t completely done; it still needs some more furniture and Shea insists I need more… decor? Wall art? Anyway, there’s a bed and a shower and plenty of food. So I thought you could come back there?”
“You’re welcome at my place,” Rhiannon adds, smiling. “I have more decor, at least.”
Niall says, “Whatever you want to do, Jade. Any decision you make is okay.”
There’s no question of my answer. Stay with a stranger or Niall, who makes me feel the closest to safe? I meet his gaze. “Your apartment. Please.”