Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
NIALL
The guilt keeps hitting me in punishing waves.
It comes in a storm of what-ifs and how did we miss this and will she be okay ?
I’m not supposed to be standing out in the hallway again with Dante in a terrible version of déjà vu, discussing yet another attempt to abduct Jade.
She was supposed to be safe. The FBI said it. We thought it was true.
We were wrong.
And it happened while I was right there . In the same building. That fucker hurt Jade. Terrified her. Brought back all the trauma she’s worked so hard to deal with.
If I hadn’t seen that photo… He could have hurt her even worse. Drugged her. Touched her.
“Fuck.” It’s a low curse as I fight the urge to punch the wall. Since we got back to B and A yesterday afternoon, I’ve been shoving down the rage so I can be the calm, supportive boyfriend Jade needs. But it’s still bubbling inside me, desperate to get out.
“Are you doing okay?” Dante looks at me with a concerned gaze. “You want to spar later? It might help.”
“No.” Although. It could help. “Maybe. Depends on how Jade’s doing.”
He leans against the wall. “How’s she holding up?”
“Honestly?” I glance at the cracked door and listen for any sound of movement inside. It’s still early, just past seven, and Jade is thankfully still sleeping. So Dante and I are having another one of our impromptu meetings in the hallway so I can be in range in case she needs something. “I think she’s doing better than me.”
His brow creases. “It’s not your fault.”
My jaw tightens until my teeth grind together painfully. “It doesn’t feel that way. I was there, Dante. I brought Jade to that place. And then I just watched her walk in to meet with that guy.”
“There was nothing on him. We investigated him. So did the FBI. There was no reason to suspect?—”
“We should have looked deeper.”
Dante sighs heavily. “The guy was careful. Never went to the facility, used an alias, there was nothing in his background or financials.”
“ Someone knew he was involved,” I retort. “Otherwise he wouldn’t have known about the place. Or Jade. So how come his name never came up?”
A muscle twitches in his jaw. “I talked with Cruz. He’s going to look into it. And Matt’s doing some searching of his own.”
“I just keep thinking about it. If I hadn’t seen that picture on the wall…”
I’d been feeling antsy while I waited for Jade, so I was walking around the reception area checking out the prints and photos on the walls. Then I spotted one with Jade in it and stopped for another look.
It was a photograph of the entire staff at the last holiday party—everyone in ugly Christmas sweaters, smiling, looking like they were having a great time. Nothing concerning initially, but then I noticed Dr. Regan standing just behind Jade, looking at her with an odd expression.
Predatory was the best way to describe it. Like he was just biding his time, waiting to claim her.
That feeling I get in my gut? It hit me hard.
In all the times Jade mentioned her boss, she used words like kind and thoughtful to describe him. But his look was the furthest thing from it. Maybe I was more sensitive to it because I’m trained to look for tiny details, or maybe it’s because she’s my girlfriend—either way, it was a red flag.
So I texted Matt, just to make sure there wasn’t something about Dr. Regan that would raise suspicion. I told Matt about my gut.
We all know about that gut feeling, because Matt didn’t dismiss it. Instead, he told me to follow it. That there wasn’t anything alarming about the doctor, but better safe than sorry.
Trust your gut, he told me. Sometimes it knows things the brain doesn’t.
So I did, and I barged into the back part of the office, ignoring the receptionist’s demands for me to stop. I glowered at a young nurse until she gave in and told me where Dr. Regan’s office was. And I listened at the door for any alarming noises, despite the buzzing of nurses behind me.
Then I heard the low murmur of a voice threatening Jade.
A person walking by probably wouldn’t have noticed. It would have faded into the rest of the busy sounds of the building.
But once I heard it, I knew.
I’ll be eternally grateful I stopped that piece of shit before he could do worse to Jade. But still. He hurt her. Scared her. And seeing her tied up on the floor, gagged, her eyes so big and terrified…
“But you did see it.” Dante interrupts my thoughts. “And you got to Jade. She’s safe. That piece of garbage is in jail.”
“Yeah.” I cock my ear toward the apartment again, this time hearing the faint sound of water turning on in the bathroom. “Quint said assault and attempted kidnapping, at least.”
Dante glances at the door, then lifts his chin at me. “Sounds like she’s up.” His features soften. “I’ll deal with things today. I know you want to spend some time with Jade.”
“Thanks.” I clap him on the shoulder. My voice dips as I say, “Sorry about the job this weekend. I hate making someone else go to Dallas in my place. It’s just?—”
“Hey. No worries.” A smile curves his lips. “I don’t mind. You can take the next one.”
“I will. Once Jade’s more settled. Maybe I’ll get Shea to come stay while I’m gone, keep Jade company. And you guys being here…”
“Listen. It’s fine. We’re a team. This is what we do for each other.” His smile gets bigger. “And Jade’s like our little sister. Anything she needs, we’re all here to help.”
Shit. Emotion makes my throat go thick.
This is what I missed. A team that will have my six, no matter what it is. Just like I’ll have theirs.
“Thanks, man.”
“No worries.” Another lift of his chin. “Now go see your woman. Make her some breakfast. Unless you screw it up. Then text me, and I’ll come over to show you how the expert does it.”
I’m still chuckling when I come back into the apartment, feeling significantly lighter than when I went into the hallway twenty minutes ago.
Then I see Jade in the kitchen, and everything inside me stills.
Not because she looks upset. But because she looks so damn beautiful.
She’s sitting at the island, still in her pajamas—well, tiny shorts and one of my old Army T-shirts, which I absolutely love seeing on her—and her hair is all tousled and her cheeks are still flushed with sleep and when she sees me, her entire face lights up with the most gorgeous smile.
“I made coffee for you,” she says, gesturing to the mug in front of the empty stool. “Since the coffee maker was cold, I assumed you hadn’t had any yet.”
“Ah, hun. Thank you.” I head to the kitchen but bypass the coffee to pull Jade into my arms. I lift her off the stool and hug her to me, capturing her lips and kissing her softly. She hums with pleasure and twines her arms around my waist, and I can’t help noticing the tempting feel of her breasts pressing into my chest.
Which I shouldn’t, because Jade’s still recovering from everything that happened yesterday. She needs to be coddled and taken care of. I shouldn’t be thinking about how much I want to bring her back to the bedroom and make love to her.
So I end the kiss and set her back on the stool while sternly telling myself to settle. To think about gun schematics and supply orders instead of how sexy Jade looks right now. “Why aren’t you still in bed? It’s early. Did I wake you?”
“No.” She takes my hand, lacing her fingers between mine. “I woke up and you weren’t there, so I came to look for you. But then I heard you talking in the hallway, so I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“You could have. If you need me, don’t ever worry about interrupting.” And now I’m thinking about Jade waking up alone, possibly fresh from a nightmare, wondering where I was. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. Are you okay?”
Her brows draw together and she stares at me for a second. “I’m fine. You can’t be around all the time, Niall. I understand.”
“Still. I want to be.” Another wave of guilt crashes into me. “I should be making you breakfast in bed. Getting you anything you need. In fact—” I scoop Jade up, one arm behind her back, the other beneath her knees. “You should go back to bed. Get some more rest. I know you didn’t sleep well last night.”
More nightmares, triggered by that piece of garbage doctor, no doubt.
Jade makes a little surprised yip and clutches my neck. “Niall. What are you doing?”
As I stride toward the bedroom, I glance down at her. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
Her lips quirk. “Being a bossy, overprotective boyfriend?”
Lowering her to the bed, I answer, “Taking care of my incredible girlfriend. Who still needs some rest.”
Instead of letting go of my neck so I can stand back up, Jade holds on tightly. “Then you’re coming back to bed with me.”
“I’m going to make breakfast for when you wake up. And see about ordering food for later. Plus?—”
Her eyes narrow. “No. If I’m going back to bed, so are you.”
I love stubborn Jade. She’s so cute, with her chin jutting out and sparks of determination flashing in her eyes. And it’s impossible to say no to her. “Fine.”
A triumphant look moves across her face. “Good. Now lie down with me.”
“Who’s the bossy one?” I ask with a smile. But I get into bed as ordered, tucking Jade snugly against me.
She shifts slightly, so she can meet my gaze. Her expression sobers. “It’s not your fault.”
“What?”
“I know you’re feeling guilty. But you shouldn’t.”
“Jade.” I don’t want to argue the fact with her, but whose fault is it if not mine?
“No.” Voice firming, she gives me that stubborn look again. “I know how hard your team has been working. If you didn’t find anything on Dr. Regan, it’s because there wasn’t anything. The FBI didn’t even find evidence he was involved.”
Guilt settles on my chest, a weight pressing down. “I should have insisted on going with you to meet him.”
“Niall. You couldn’t. I wouldn’t have agreed. And”—a deep breath and exhale—“if it hadn’t been yesterday, it could have happened any time after. When I was back at work. I was thinking… all he’d have to do is ask me to stay late. I wouldn’t hesitate. And then…” Jade trails off, and her body tenses.
“Shit.” I hug her closer, suddenly not feeling like she’s close enough.
“I knew you’d find me. Even though I was scared, I knew you’d come.”
I kiss her forehead. “Always, sweetheart.”
Her gaze is steady on mine, and I’m amazed all over again at how strong Jade is. “It sucked. I’m not going to pretend it didn’t. But you came. I’m okay. I have a few more bruises inside, and I know I’ll have nightmares, but I’m safe. I have you.”
“Jade.”
“And I was thinking, it’s not all bad.” At my raised eyebrows, she explains, “Now I can find a job closer to Blade and Arrow. There are plenty of places in Seguin I can look at, so I won’t have to commute as far.”
I stroke Jade’s hair, threading my fingers through the silky strands. “I like that idea.”
“And something else I realized yesterday… when you came into the office all snarly and dangerous?—”
A laugh bubbles up. “All snarly and dangerous?”
“Yes.” She grins. “Snarly and growly and dangerous. I knew you were Special Forces, but I’ve never seen you in action. And it was”—pink touches her cheeks—“sexy. I mean, I wasn’t thinking about it at the time, but after? It was really hot. My boyfriend, all tough and intimidating and protecting me.”
“Oh?” My voice goes rough. “You like that?”
“Yes.” The pink deepens, but she lifts her chin as she says, “I do. You know I love it when you take control. Being independent; it’s important to me, but not all the time. Sometimes… I want to let you be in charge.”
Oh .
Just like that, I’m hard, throbbing and aching to be inside her. The desire I’ve tried to beat back surges forward, filling my head with all the things I want to do to show Jade how much I cherish her. How much I want her.
I want to lift her shirt and take her breasts into my mouth. Slide her temptingly small shorts down and plunge my fingers into her welcoming warmth, feeling her satiny-slick inner walls clutching at me. Rub and flick at her little bud the way Jade likes best, bringing her close to the edge, hearing her soft moans and cries and then I’ll move over Jade’s perfect body and?—
“Niall?” Jade’s voice jerks me out of my fantasy. There’s a hint of laughter as she asks, “You alright?”
“What? Of course.”
“Oh?” A sly smile appears and she glances at my shorts, which are now clearly standing at attention. Her hand grazes the stretched fabric and her smile gets bigger as I jerk in reaction. “So you wouldn’t want to take charge now? Instead of resting?”
My brain wants to insist that Jade needs her rest. But my body, particularly my growing arousal, begs to differ.
And sex is a great way to relieve stress.
I mentally reshuffle the morning—make love to Jade, give her enough orgasms to get her to sleep, make a huge breakfast and eat it in bed…
My brain makes one last-ditch effort. “Are you sure you’re feeling up to it?”
Jade’s hand slides under my waistband. “Making love to my amazing boyfriend? Enjoying a lazy morning with you? I’m definitely feeling up to it.”
“Good.” In a blink, I’m braced above her. Her eyes dilate, desire turning them nearly black. “First, I’m going to taste your breasts. Then your sweet lips. Here.” I kiss her, tasting coffee and a hint of mint. “And here.” With one hand, I stroke the dampness growing between her thighs. “And then I’m going to make love to you until you come at least three times. How does that sound?”
Her lips part. Slightly breathlessly, she says, “That sounds perfect .”