Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
LUCY
“Okay, Luce, you ready to get out of here?”
Xavier glances down at me, his soft gaze a contradiction to the undercurrent of tension running through his body. Since the moment we stepped outside the hospital, he’s been on high alert, despite having three of his teammates here for backup.
I look at the waiting SUV idling by the sidewalk, and Erik waves at me from the driver’s seat while flashing an encouraging smile. Rhiannon is standing beside the open back door looking deceptively at ease, but I don’t miss the way her gaze darts around our surroundings, or how she has one hand just inside her button-down, resting on the gun I know she has holstered there. I can’t see Niall since he’s behind us, but I can feel his steady presence, just like he’s been since I was admitted to the hospital.
If I didn’t already know they’re a close-knit team, I would now. Over the last three days, all of Xavier’s teammates—his best friends, really—have done whatever they could to support him, and by extension, me. They stood guard outside my hospital room so Xavier could be inside with me, tracked down my parents in Antarctica to give them updates, snuck in my favorite ice cream at Xavier’s request, and even went over to my house to water my plants so they wouldn’t die.
And watching how they are with Xavier… they’re like how I imagine siblings would be. Gently ragging on him when it’s necessary, like when Rhiannon finally forced him to take a shower yesterday, as she proclaimed, “Xav. You’re starting to get rank. Do you want Lucy to have to smell you like this?” And having his back—or his six, as they say—when the doctor didn’t want to let him spend the night with me.
Dante took care of that in his quiet but commanding way. While I tried to hide my panic at the thought of being alone, Xavier gripped my hand and promised, “They’ll have to physically drag me out of here, Luce. And these security guards are no match for me. I’m not leaving you.”
As much as I wanted him with me, I didn’t want him to spend the night in jail, either.
But Dante found the right person to talk to, and next thing I knew, Xavier could stay. They even brought an extra meal for him and offered to set up a cot.
We didn’t need it. For the last three nights, we squeezed together on the bed, which was the only way I felt safe enough to sleep.
“Lucy?” Concern tinges Xavier’s voice. Tiny lines etch across his forehead and between his eyes. “Are you okay? Are you feeling weak? Do you want to go back inside?”
I can tell he’s about a second away from sweeping me into his arms, which would normally be romantic, but not this time. Not when I’m desperate to leave the hospital with its glaring lights and disinfectant scent and constant buzz of anxiety-inducing noise. Not when I just want to go home—well, Xavier’s apartment—and try to feel a little closer to normal again.
“I’m okay,” I tell him quickly. Forcing a little smile, I add, “ Definitely ready to get out of here.”
Xavier eyes me with skepticism, but doesn’t push it. “Okay.” His lips lift. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”
As we cross the short distance to the car, his arm tightens around me and he tucks me closer to his side. Niall closes in behind us, and Rhiannon’s posture straightens. Even Erik’s hold on the steering wheel looks more intense.
In under a minute, I’m in the backseat, with Xavier sitting on one side and Rhiannon the other. Niall gives the parking lot another once over before sliding into the passenger seat and saying briskly, “It’s all clear. Move out.”
But no one relaxes, not even once we’re miles from the hospital, our car the only one on the winding, backcountry road. The four of them are on constant surveillance, searching our surroundings for any sign of danger.
It’s kind of surreal, having this level of protection. Like I’m a celebrity or politician or foreign dignitary instead of just me. Regular Lucy, who’s a moderately successful writer who still needs to work part time to pay my bills and isn’t nearly as beautiful as the characters in her books.
Not that I’m complaining. I’m still nervous being out, even with four former Green Berets protecting me. If I had to go home by myself to my empty house? I’d be an absolute wreck.
A little shudder runs through me just thinking about going back to my house. Even after the people behind this horrible game are caught, I’m not sure how I’ll ever feel safe there again. Every time I come home, I’ll be wondering if someone is waiting, lurking, ready to grab me…
Xavier hugs me closer and asks quietly, “Are you alright, Luce?” He pauses, inspecting my face with concern. “You’re safe, you know. Me, Erik, Niall, Rhi—we won’t let anyone hurt you. Before you know it, we’ll be back at B and A, and you know how much security we have there.”
Since the Blade and Arrow headquarters has security rivaling a top-secret military base—hundreds of cameras and alarms, two biometrically locked access gates, an eight-foot unscalable fence around the ranch, plus some kind of system that detects drones flying overhead—I can’t imagine anywhere safer to be.
At least, that’s what the logical part of my brain tells me.
“I know. I’m not worried about being there. I was just—” I clamp my lips shut. He’s already feeling guilty about what happened to me, which is ridiculous. Neither of us could have suspected that I was the target of some sick online game on the dark web. And I don’t blame him for not coming back from Houston sooner, not when there was no reason to think anything was wrong.
“You were just what?”
“Nothing.” Leaning my head against his shoulder to avoid his probing gaze, I continue, “I’m just a little anxious being out. But I’ll be okay.”
Rhiannon reaches over and pats my leg. “Totally understandable. But we’ll be back at the ranch in no time. And did Xav tell you about how badass this SUV is? Bulletproof windows, run-flat tires, secure communications system?—”
“I’m not sure Lucy needs to hear all that,” Xavier says, shooting Rhiannon a warning look. “Maybe we could talk about something more pleasant?”
“It’s fine,” I assure her. “It does make me feel better.”
“ See ,” Rhiannon says triumphantly. “Lucy’s interested in stuff like that. I bet she’ll include it in one of her books one day.”
“Did Xav tell you what he did to his apartment?” Niall asks, twisting around in the passenger seat to look at me. “Jade, Sarah, and Rhi all helped, since Xav’s been at the hospital with you.”
Xavier scowls at Niall. “It was going to be a surprise.” Then his lips curve into a smile as he tells me, “I just wanted to make my place more comfortable. So I asked for some help. And Rhi’s apartment looks like a professional decorated it, so…”
“My parents insisted on hiring interior designers for all our houses,” she replies with a wry smile. “I thought it was interesting. For a little while, I considered going into interior design, but then I decided to really make my family crazy by joining the Army.”
Anticipation fills me, chasing away some of my anxiety. I turn to Xavier. “What did you do?”
His cheeks go slightly pink. “Just some decorations. And some new furniture. It’s no big deal.” After a beat, he adds, “We can change anything you don’t like. If you want, we can order anything you want online once you’re feeling up to it. Or bring stuff over from your house…”
But it is a big deal.
As we step inside Xavier’s apartment, there’s a moment when I wonder if I’m hallucinating. If the stress of my experience has made me lose touch with reality.
Before, his apartment looked like the stereotypical bachelor pad. Barely any furniture except for a giant leather couch with a recliner at either end, a coffee table covered with assorted remotes for his massive TV and surround sound system, and a single bookcase in the corner stuffed with a collection of board games.
There was just a simple chandelier hanging over the empty space where a dining table should have been, and the open-concept kitchen was just an expanse of glossy white. The only decoration in the apartment was a plant I brought over for him several months ago, a Christmas cactus I told him would be impossible to kill.
Had I imagined how I’d decorate if we moved in together one day? Of course. Because as much as I love my little house in Seguin, I know Xavier needs to live at Blade and Arrow, where he can keep up his skills in the gym and custom shooting range, and stay in close contact with his team. And I’d be okay with that. The ranch is spacious and welcoming, with modern rustic finishes, and acres of property around it are great to walk around and explore.
Not that Xavier and I have talked about living together. We haven’t said I love you yet. And given how brittle and unbalanced I’m feeling right now, it’s probably not the best time to be having deep conversations about our relationship.
But his apartment .
It’s been transformed.
“Do you like it?” Xavier’s arm is still around me—he hasn’t broken contact since we left the hospital—and he braces me against him like he thinks I might fall over from shock. Which, given my weak muscles and occasional light-headedness, isn’t an unreasonable assumption.
“It’s…” Words fail me as I take everything in.
The leather couch has been replaced by a cream-colored sofa draped with slate blue throws that look so soft my fingers itch to touch them. Beside the TV, there are two large bookshelves filled with books from my house, with some of my little mementos scattered among them.
Fluffy shag carpets cover the floor, in the same blue as the throws on the sofa. Matching curtains lift in the breeze coming in through the windows, and I spot several of my plants on stands or hangers in front of them.
“I asked Niall and Jade to bring over all your plants,” Xavier explains. “The rest are in the bedrooms. So they can all get enough light.” He gives me a sheepish smile. “I’m not sure how well I’ll do keeping them healthy, though. I’ve had a hard enough time with the cactus.”
“It’s perfect.” My throat gets tight, and my nose prickles, but I force the threatening tears back. “I’ll water them. It’s okay.”
“No, Luce.” His handsome features soften as he looks at me. “You’re supposed to be resting. Just tell me what to do, and I’ll take care of it.”
My gaze sweeps around the open living space, searching for things I missed the first glance. And this time I notice the painted canvases of seascapes and mountain ranges, the candles on every available surface, and the gorgeous bouquet set on the kitchen island.
And—
“You got a table!” I exclaim, turning to Xavier with a smile. “It looks great!”
“Yes, well—” Twin spots of pink rise on his cheeks. “I thought it would be better. Since we’ll be eating here now.”
And as I walk closer to the dining room table, I spot fabric placemats and matching napkins set atop it, along with an arrangement of different sized candles in clear vases in the middle. “Xavier.” My voice is thick. “This is so… I love it.”
“Is it okay?” He looks adorably nervous. “I couldn’t do it myself, since I didn’t want to leave… but I told Rhiannon what I thought you’d like. And she sent me lots of pictures while she was shopping. But if there’s something you want to change?—”
“No. It’s incredible.” Fearing he’ll spot the stubborn tears welling up, I hug Xavier, burying my face in his neck. My lips move against his warm skin as I whisper, “I love it, Xavier. It feels like home.”
“Sunshine.” He strokes my hair, combing his fingers through my still tangled waves. “I just want you to feel comfortable here. So if there’s anything you need…” His lips press to the top of my head. “I replaced all the covers and sheets on the bed, too. So they’d match. And I got those extra-soft pillows you like.”
Oh.
This is why I refused to give up.
The man who reveals his squishy, sentimental side in the most wonderful ways. The man who’ll do anything to protect me. The man I know I’m falling in love with.
I try to sniff softly before I say, “Thank you. And I have to thank Rhiannon and Jade and Sarah. And Niall. And all your friends, really. Without you guys…”
He leans me back in his arms, then brushes his finger at one tear that managed to escape. “You have all of us. For whatever you need.”
A strange expression crosses his face, and he swallows hard. Clearing his throat, he says, “You must want to rest. I know it was a stressful morning, with Cruz stopping by to ask some more questions, and all the nurse and doctor checkups before you left, and then the drive…”
I am tired, although I’m feeling much stronger than I did when I was rescued from the cabin. And the thought of snuggling in bed with Xavier without all the noise and interruptions of the hospital sounds wonderful. But there’s something I want even more.
“Or do you want to call your parents?” Xavier asks. “I promised we’d check in with them once we got back here, so they know you’re safe. Unless you’re too tired and you’d rather I call them.”
“Maybe I can text them now, and call later.” Touching my hair, I wince inwardly at how rough and greasy it feels. Jade brought dry shampoo to the hospital for me, but I don’t want to think about how long it’s been since I actually washed it. “I’d really like a shower. Sponge baths aren’t the same.”
He frowns, raking his fingers through his dark brown hair. He’s let it get longer since leaving the military, and I love how there’s one piece that always falls onto his forehead, no matter how many times he tries to push it out of the way. “I’m not sure, Lucy. You’re still unsteady when you walk. And the heat of the shower?—”
Widening my eyes hopefully, I say, “You could shower with me. To help?”
A flare of desire heats his eyes, sparking flashes of gold and amber. Then his jaw tightens. “Just to help.”
“Of course.” While I’m still incredibly attracted to Xavier, I’m not feeling anywhere close to ready for sex. Not when my body and mind are still so fragile. But it makes me feel good to see his interest, to know he wants me even when I’m looking far from my best.
“Okay.” He brushes his lips across mine and gazes at me with a tender expression. “We’ll take a shower. Then you can talk to your parents while I find something for you to eat. Dante and Sarah left a ton of stuff in the fridge for you. And then you can take a long nap. How does that sound?”
I stretch up to kiss him again. “It sounds like a good plan. Except…”
“What?”
“Are you going to take a nap with me? Or do you have to get to work?”
“I’ll be with you all day.” He smiles, but his eyes darken with determination. “I’m not leaving B and A until you’re safe.”