Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
XAVIER
“This place is really something, Xavier.”
Lucy’s dad claps me on the shoulder as he comes to stand beside me. He glances around the barn and gives it an approving nod before he turns his attention back to me. “Lucy explained everything, but to really see what you and your team have done… It’s very impressive.”
Meeting his gaze, I say, “Thanks, Mr. Thompson. It’s still a work in progress, but we’re proud of what we’ve done so far.”
“It’s more than a work in progress,” Lucy interjects, squeezing my hand as she beams at me. “The Blade and Arrow ranch is incredible.”
“That it is,” her dad agrees with a smile. “And Xavier. Call me James. There’s no need for formalities.”
Lucy’s mom looks away from the foosball table, where she’s been inspecting the little players painted to look like Green Berets, a housewarming gift from Leo’s wife, Georgia. She grins, her face lighting up with the same glow Lucy has. “Absolutely. And remember, you can call me Bette. None of that stuffy Mrs. Thompson business.”
She pauses, her expression turning contemplative. “Although… you might end up calling me something else?—”
Lucy flushes pink. “ Mom .” In a gently scolding tone, she asks, “What did we talk about the other day?”
“Sorry, Lucy.” But Lucy’s mom—or Bette, as she’s reminded me each time I see her—doesn’t look the slightest bit sorry. “But I can’t help but feel like Xavier’s part of the family.”
James nods. “I couldn’t agree more.” His smile slides into something more serious. “I always liked you, Xavier. From the first time Lucy brought you over for dinner. But knowing what you did to help our daughter, how you took care of her…”
He swallows hard, emotion working in his eyes.
Bette comes over to stand next to her husband, looping her arm around his waist. “And seeing you two together. Even after everything Lucy’s been through—” Her voice breaks, and she pauses to regain her composure. “Even after that, I’ve never seen my Lucy Loo look happier.”
“Oh, Mom.” Lucy leans into me, resting her head on my shoulder. “I am happy.”
I press a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “I would do anything for Lucy.” My gaze moving between James and Bette, I add, “But she’s dam—darn strong. I’ll always want to protect her, but Luce does a pretty good job taking care of herself, too.”
James gives me an appraising look, then lifts his chin in acknowledgement. “Our Lucy is very strong. Stronger than she gives herself credit for. But something I’ve learned in forty years of marriage is no one can be strong all the time. But when you’re with the right person”—he glances at Bette, smiling affectionately—“they hold you up when you’re struggling. When things seem too heavy to bear, they help carry the weight.”
“That’s what Xavier does.” Lucy tips her head back to look at me. “Not just rescuing me again and again, but when I’m struggling, he’s there to support me. And I hope I can do the same for him.”
My throat gets thick. “You do.”
And it’s true, in so many ways.
In the week since everything went down with that piece of garbage Amberson, Lucy would have had every reason to focus on herself. To focus on dealing with the nightmares and jumpiness and anxiety triggered by her second abduction.
Fuck. Her second abduction. I still feel sick thinking about it.
For all my promises of keeping Lucy safe, I failed.
I’m not the only one feeling guilty, either. The day after the abduction, once we dealt with the police and the FBI and Lucy had managed at least a few hours of rest between the recurrent nightmares, Matt came over to visit. His expression was tortured as he told Lucy, “I’m so sorry. It was my fault. I understand if you can’t forgive me.”
But Lucy wasn’t having any of it. First, she hugged him hard enough to make his back crack, and then she said very firmly, “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. It was not your fault. Just like it wasn’t Xavier’s, like I keep telling him.”
Her features set and gaze fierce, she continued, “There is nothing to forgive, Matt. Nothing. There was no way to predict what would happen. Peter using AI to mimic my mom’s voice? Spoofing her number? Hacking the security at my parents’ house? And he came up with the one story that would guarantee I’d visit them right away. It’s no one’s fault but his.”
Matt looked at her for several long seconds before saying, “But it’s my job, Lucy. I should have?—”
“No.” She shook her head, her long ponytail swinging. “You did everything, Matt. I don’t blame you for anything. The only way you’ll make me upset is to keep blaming yourself. So stop. Please?”
Of course, he agreed. And then Lucy convinced him to come over for dinner and she beat both of us in poker and by the end of the evening, the haunted look in Matt’s eyes was beginning to fade. Because that’s what Lucy does. Even when she’s dealing with her own struggles, she has this special ability to make the people around her feel good.
Like me.
She knew I was feeling guilty, that I was having nightmares of my own—of Lucy starving, sobbing over my dead body, holding that damned rope in her hands and tying a knot in it—and that my own anxiety was worse than it’s ever been. Just the thought of having Lucy out of sight made my chest go tight and cold sweat break out all over.
So Lucy set up virtual counseling sessions for both of us. Not just me sitting in her session with her, but an appointment of my own, so I could talk openly about the terrible memories of that day without fear of triggering her. She pushes me to talk about my feelings instead of trying to hide them, insisting that she’ll worry more if she doesn’t know than if she does.
And yesterday, she came up with this weird activity where we tried to paint each other’s portraits and then laughed our asses off at the very unrealistic results.
I’m not sure what the purpose of the activity was supposed to be, but it definitely took my mind off worrying and feeling guilty for a while. Which, now that I think about it, was probably the point to begin with.
Basically, Lucy’s amazing. And I’m still not sure what I did to deserve her, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove my worth. Trying to make her happy. To see that gorgeous Lucy-glow every day. And one day, make her my wife.
Assuming she says yes, that is.
But I’m hopeful. Her parents seem to approve, if their recent comments are anything to go on. Lucy says she loves me all the time. She’s already talking about trips for the holidays and into next year, heading east to visit New York and Vermont, and then to her parents’ vacation home on Martha’s Vineyard. And I’ve noticed how Lucy’s eyes linger on certain dresses when she’s looking through wedding magazines with Sarah.
I’m going to ask. I just have to pick the right time.
“Well.” Bette smiles at Lucy. “I couldn’t be happier for you two.”
“Same,” James echoes. “And I’m so pleased to get to see this place.” He meets my eyes, approval and affection in his gaze. “You’ve done an incredible job here, son. And I couldn’t think of a better man to be with my Lucy.”
Oh.
Out of the blue, tears burn behind my eyes.
I’ve never had someone call me son before.
Thirty-eight years old, and it’s the first time.
“I’m lucky,” I finally manage, once I trust myself to speak.
Lucy stretches up to kiss my cheek. Her voice is soft and full of love as she says, “ I’m the lucky one.”
For a few seconds, we all go quiet, just appreciating the moment. All of us feeling lucky to be here, together, safe and healthy after everything.
Then Bette claps her hands lightly, breaking into the silence. “You know, I’d love to see that pond Lucy told me about. Do you think we could walk there?”
“That’s a great idea,” James says. “I know how much Lucy loves the woods.” He casts a smile at Lucy. “I can see why she enjoys it here. It’s so peaceful.”
Lucy tenses, her body going rigid against mine. She hasn’t walked in the woods since those two assholes broke through the fence, and even though the threat to her is gone—Amberson’s in jail being held without bond—I haven’t been eager to suggest we go out there again.
“We don’t have to,” I murmur, so only she can hear me.
She takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “No.” Her chin lifts. “I want to.” With a defiant tilt of her jaw, she repeats, “I want to. The woods are beautiful. So is the pond. I’m not letting anyone ruin it.”
“I think they had a good time, don’t you?”
Lucy walks over to the couch and flops down next to me, draping her legs across my lap. She’s changed into her at-home clothes—cotton shorts and one of her favorite T-shirts, this time the one I bought her from the San Antonio aquarium—and her hair is still damp from the shower. “My mom loves you,” she adds. “So does my dad.”
I slide my arm behind her back, tugging her into my side. “Your parents are great. And yeah, I think they did.”
“My dad really liked the shooting range.” Lucy grins. “While you were talking to my mom, he asked if you might give him lessons.”
“Of course I would. Anytime he wants to come over, I’d be happy to.”
“I figured you’d say yes, but I wanted to ask first. Just in case you’re going to be busy with work. Or you might not want someone who’s not on the team using the range.”
“Well, we wouldn’t have just anyone over to use it. But it’s your dad. That’s different.”
After a brief pause, Lucy replies, “True. But I didn’t want to assume.”
There it is.
The window to ask another question that’s been rolling around in my head for weeks. Months even. But I’ve been hesitating to ask until this business with the game was over, not wanting Lucy to feel obligated to say yes just because she’s staying here for protection.
What if she’d rather go back to her house in Seguin, or stay with her parents, or—as much as I hope she doesn’t—leave the area altogether? What if she doesn’t want to be around all the bad memories and would prefer to start fresh instead?
Would I go with her? Leave my teammates? The job I love?
Yes.
I would.
For Lucy, I would do anything.
But I really want her to stay here.
“But you can.”
“What?” Lucy’s brows pull together. “I can what?”
My heart speeds up. “You can assume.”
“Um.” She gives me a what are you talking about face. “I’m confused.”
Wow. I’m spectacularly bad at this. Tell me to do a HALO drop in the middle of the night; I’ll do it no problem. Make an underwater approach to infiltrate enemy territory? Sign me up. But ask my girlfriend to move in with me? I’m a lost cause.
Huffing out a sigh, I try again.
“You said you didn’t want to assume. About having your dad use the shooting range.”
Lucy nods. “Well, it’s Blade and Arrow’s property, and you all?—”
“But I want you to assume. I want you to invite anyone—well, maybe not anyone, but your friends and family—to come here. Like you would if you lived here.”
Her face stills. Then, carefully, “Xavier? What are you saying?”
I take Lucy’s hands, shocked by how shaky mine feel. “I want you to live here, Luce. With me. Not just for a few weeks, or months, but… I want this to be your home, too.”
For a moment, she just stares at me, a depth of emotion in her gaze.
But is it happy emotion or sad? Is she going to accept, or is she trying to think of a kind way to let me down?
“Xavier.” Her fingers tighten around mine. “Are you sure? Because I know… moving in together is a lot. Especially… well…”
“Because I’ve never lived with a woman before?” At her tiny nod, I say, “But I have. You. In all the time you’ve been staying here, I’ve never felt more… complete. Before, I thought I was happy living on my own. I mean, I had my teammates nearby, so there was always someone, but I liked having that space. Now it’s different.”
“I know what you mean.” Lucy climbs onto my lap and strokes her hand across my jaw. “I enjoyed being independent. Having my own house. Decorating however I wanted, walking around naked if I?—”
“You can walk around naked any time you want. I promise I’ll never complain.”
A smile curves her lips. “I bet.”
“But Lucy. In all seriousness, I want to live with you. Go to bed every night with you curled up next to me, your hair making me sneeze when I inhale it in my sleep?—”
She laughs. “That was only once.”
“And I want to wake up next to you every morning. See that adorable face you make when the alarm goes off and you’re not ready to get up yet. Have coffee with you. Look at your clothes in the closet next to mine. I want all of it.”
“ Xavier .”
“And I want to know you’re safe.” My chest goes tight, and I take a quick breath before continuing. “Eventually, I’ll have to travel for work again. And I can’t bear the thought of you—” I stop. Take another breath. “If you live here, I’ll always know you’re safe. Protected.”
Before Lucy can respond, I hurry to get out the rest. “But if you don’t want to stay here, or in San Antonio, or Texas, even, if it’s too triggering, I’ll go anywhere with you. Anywhere you want. You’re my home, sunshine. That’s where I want to be.”
“Oh, Xavier.” She bites her lip, and a moment later, her eyes fill with tears. “You would leave? Your team? Your friends?”
“In a heartbeat. I love you, Lucy.” Thumbing away a rogue tear, I kiss the damp spot it left behind. “I will do anything to make you happy. Anything.”
Soft hands frame my face. “I would never ask you to leave here. Ever.”
My heart seizes. “But you?—”
“I would love to live here with you.” Sparkling like brilliant topaz, her eyes meet mine. “Blade and Arrow feels like home more than anywhere else I’ve lived. And everything you said about living together? I feel the same. Except maybe not the inhaling hair part. Yours is too short.”
All at once, all my muscles relax. “You want to live here? Permanently?”
“Yes.” Her face lights with that wonderful Lucy-glow. “I’ve been trying to think of how to bring it up without making you feel like you had to say yes.”
I grin at her, feeling lighter than air. “Me too.”
After a moment, her smile sobers. “But Xavier. I’m not sure… I might not be ready to go back to work yet. Not out in public. Dante said I can keep helping here, and I’m starting to get back into my writing, but will that be too much? I’ll be at the apartment a lot, and if you want some space…”
“Luce. I don’t care about that. Well, I care, because it’s about you. But if you decide to write full time and just work out of the apartment, that’s more than fine with me.”
And honestly, I’m not ready for Lucy to work in public yet, either.
“Plus,” I add, “The B and A property is huge. If I wanted space, which I don’t, I can go to the gym. Or the range. Or I can go to Dante and Sarah’s place and harass them until they cook for me.”
The somber expression brightens again. “Well, if Dante and Sarah are cooking, I want some, too.”
“So it’s decided?” After a soft kiss, I meet her gaze. “You’ll live here, we’ll be deliriously happy, and we’ll both bug Dante and Sarah to cook for us?”
Lucy smiles at me, and my heart fills with joy. “It’s decided. Now, what do you think about heading into the bedroom and celebrating?”
I stand, scooping Lucy up so quickly she lets out a yip of surprise. As she clutches my neck, giggling, I race towards the bedroom.
“I think that’s an excellent idea.”