Chapter 7 #2
"No, it’s okay," I replied. There were times when I needed to reiterate it out loud, as much to myself as whoever I was talking to, to underline that I had made the right choice for myself, as tough as it had been to do. I took a deep breath, and launched into it.
"My father, he was always working while we were growing up," I explained.
"Always focused on what came next for the business, what he could do to make more money, or expand, or buy this property or that one and turn it into something else.
And when I was really young, my mom would tell me that there would come a time when he had made enough money and he would be able to spend more time with us.
And I kept waiting and waiting for that to happen, and it just... never did."
She stayed quiet, keeping pace with me as she let me speak.
"And my brothers, they jumped into it when they were old enough, and it was like it just sucked them in too," I went on.
"Like there was nothing that mattered in the world more than making sure they were pulling in as much money as they could, expanding even further than they needed to. We have enough money to live for decades, keep the next ten generations of this family fed and housed, but they still just can’t stop. "
"Damn," she muttered. "That sounds...kind of horrible, actually."
"That’s what I thought," I agreed. "So when I got my inheritance when I turned eighteen, I just took off. I knew that if I put my feet under the table there, I would never be able to leave, same as they couldn’t. It was like an addiction, like they couldn’t stop, no matter how much power or money or influence they had.
And I swore I was never going to live that way.
Not seeing how it kept them from their family and their actual lives.
I wanted adventure, you know? Never in one place too long.
Keep moving, and I’m not going to gather any moss. "
My shoulders slumped slightly, and I was surprised at how heavy it felt, saying all that out loud to her.
Verbalizing it that way, it almost made it feel real, even though I had been living that life for so long now.
All at once, I was distinctly aware of how far I was from my family, how far I was from home, how long it had been since I had really had someone at my side to keep me company.
"I’m sorry," she remarked, reaching over to give my arm a squeeze as we passed by the sign that announced our arrival into her neighborhood. "That must be hard on you."
I forced a grin on to my face, determined not to seem too sorry for myself.
"Well, the inheritance helped, that’s for sure."
She laughed.
"Yeah, I guess that would take the edge off," she agreed, turning down the street that must have led to her place. The town was quiet, some music drifting from Ford’s across the square, and I was suddenly distinctly aware that it was just the two of us out here together.
"Your family still live in Whisper Falls, right? I mean, your parents, at least..."
She snorted.
"My mom does," she replied, a note of bitterness to her voice. "My dad...he hasn’t been around in a long while."
"Oh, really?”
She nodded, kicking at a loose rock on the sidewalk and sending it skittering into a storm drain beside us.
"He...uh, he spent a lot of our money when I was growing up," she explained, slightly halting, like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be entirely honest about this. I didn’t blame her.
I knew how it felt, talking ill of your family like that, no matter what the context might have been, something dug deep into your psyche telling you to be nice above all else.
"And eventually Mom kicked him out when he invested a bunch of money that was meant for my college fund into this stupid business one of his friends was starting up," she continued, shaking her head.
"It was gone before I even knew I had it, and I – I swore I was never going to deal with his crap again. And that my brother was going to get the chance to go to college, even if I didn’t. "
"He really did that to you?”
She nodded. I winced, shaking my head.
"Dina, I’m so sorry..."
"It’s in the past now," she replied, waving a hand, though I could still hear the slight edge of pain to her voice, like there was something deep inside that she didn’t want me to see.
I wasn’t going to go pushing beyond what she was comfortable sharing with me, but I couldn’t believe the sheer gall that man must have had to take money that was meant for his daughter’s future and throw it at something so stupid.
"And I haven’t seen him since," she continued. "Probably for the best. He’d try to borrow money of me off he laid eyes on me now..."
She let out a slight laugh, turning on to a narrow residential street.
I watched her for a moment, wondering how it was that she could have such grace for her father, despite what he had done to her.
How she could turn the mess he had made of her future into hope for her brother.
I wasn’t sure I had ever met anyone like that before, someone so willing to search out the good in the depths of the bad, and it wasn’t exactly helping the draw that I felt deep in my chest to pull a little closer to her.
"Well, this is me," she remarked, as she stood outside a slightly run-down looking apartment building, reaching into her pocket for her keys. "You can go back to your hotel now that you know you got me home safe..."
And, as she looked up at me again, that slight smile on her face, I felt it again.
That rush, that draw towards her, the same one I’d had when we’d been at dinner together.
The one that I had done my best to tamp down since she had told me that she didn’t want my help, determined not to overstep my mark.
And, as she looked at me now, I knew that I couldn’t just ignore it anymore, no matter how much I might have wanted to.
I could still feel my arm tingling where she had touched me, that brief moment of comfort enough to light something up inside me I knew I couldn’t shut down.
I reached for her hand before I could stop myself, fingers lacing through hers, such sureness in my mind that I could not hold back.
"Dina," I told her softly, as she gazed at me, not moving, keys still clamped in her hand as she looked back at me. Her hand tightened on mine slightly, as though she was making certain that I didn’t go anywhere.
"Mhm?"
She bit her lip, her eyes wide, glistening in the dark punctuated by the streetlights around us. I needed to show, not tell, my answer. And, finally, I leaned forward, and brushed my lips softly against hers.
It was just an experimental kiss, a test to see if she would pull back, but she didn’t.
Her fingers laced around mine as she parted her lips slightly, and I deepened the kiss, my other arm looping around her waist to pull her in close, our bodies pressed together there on the doorstep of her apartment.
In that quiet, still town, I could have sworn that we were the only two people on earth, utterly lost to each other, her hair grazing my cheek, her heartbeat thudding against my chest. I moved her back against the door, holding her there in the dark, the cool air circling around us and blurring the edges between us until there was nothing left but
And then, all at once, she pulled back. She looked down at the keys in her hand, breathing hard, cheeks flushed, and then back up at me.
"I’m sorry, Felix," she whispered to me, shaking her head. "I should, I should..."
She didn’t even bother to finish, as she turned her back on me, slipping her key into the lock and pushing the door open before I could say another word.
I stared at her, at the spot she had just been standing the space I had just been holding her, and tried to make sense of what the hell had just happened.
One moment, we had been kissing, her body sinking into mine like it was all she wanted in the world, and then, she had been pulling back and fleeing back up to her apartment...
I rubbed a hand over my face, letting out a slight groan. I couldn’t figure this woman out. Just as soon as it seemed like I had made a little more sense of her, something would happen to throw that into flux, and I would be left hanging on for dear life as I tried to make sense of it.
I listened to her footsteps retreat up the stairs, and sighed, turning on my heel to head back to the hotel. She was right, all I had wanted was to get her home safely, and it looked like I had. I needed to get back to my hotel room, get some rest...
And hope that, by tomorrow, I would have forgotten how it felt to kiss her.