1. Chapter One #2
A slow smile spread across her face. Once she rose on her toes, her lips grazed my ear, and my pants got even tighter. Getting this hard over the proximity of a woman was unsettling.
“I’ll be right back.” She stepped around me and headed to the booth where Amy held out another bill to Alyssa.
I shook my head. I wasn’t sure if her bets were impressive or annoying. When she slipped under my arm so she was pinned against the bar again, she waved the money in the air.
“Another?” she asked.
I braced my hands against the bar, one on either side of her. “Any more bets?”
She stared at me, and a smile threatened. “Amy wanted another one, but I said no.”
“Another bet? About what?” I didn’t mind the teasing, but I couldn’t figure out what she wanted.
Was this a bit of fun on her part? Had she sensed my interest?
Was she taunting me? Other bodies pressed against me, trying to get close to the bar, but I held firm, refusing to let anyone get near her or the space we’d claimed.
“I like this whole protective vibe,” she said, her finger circling our enclosed space. “All the guys I’ve known have been possessive, and that’s not the same as protective. So many of them don’t get that. You know?” She cocked her head, never breaking eye contact.
This was how I’d always been with women—my mother, Mia, my fiancée.
In Russia, my friends had different codes of conduct and honor systems. Many thought women needed to be dominated, controlled, and I’d never understood why.
Tyler Sullivan, Mia’s boyfriend, was the opposite of those men, and I liked him a lot, enjoyed his company .
Most women, at least the ones I found interesting, didn’t want to be controlled. In my experience, they wanted to be understood, and that took a lot more effort than asserting dominance.
“Listen,” she said before taking another shot I hadn’t realized she’d ordered. “Come dance with me.” She placed the empty glass on the wooden surface and tugged on my hand, which was braced against the bar.
I let her dislodge my grip and slide her fingers along mine. She had such soft hands.
“I don’t dance.”
Without my arms creating space around us, other people gathered close, too close for my liking. My job with Mia was to create space, to keep people at bay, and I was allowing myself to be trapped by the crush of the crowd to stay close to Alyssa.
She turned in my arms and placed some money onto the bar.
Although the VIP section had gotten a lot busier, the bartender picked her out of the crowd with almost no effort on her part.
When she crooked her finger to lean closer, the bartender came across the bar so her lips were almost against his earlobe.
I gritted my teeth at the close contact. Maybe I had a bit of possessiveness after all. I’d never had Alyssa’s undivided attention before, and it annoyed me to lose it.
The bartender set two bottles of beer on the bar, and Alyssa waved him off with a grin when he tried to give her change.
As far as I could tell, the bartender had given her a few free shots already.
He returned her grin, and Alyssa scooped up the two bottles with one hand and gripped my hand with the other to lead me away from the bar, away from the other dancers, deeper into the VIP section .
At the very back, there was a curtained portion, and Alyssa poked her head between the drapes before pulling me in behind her. While I often followed Mia from place to place, I never felt out of control. But I was starting to wonder who was in charge right now.
“I should go,” I said. The curtained areas in the VIP section were familiar. Mia used them if she and Tyler came together, but I always stood guard on the outside . I didn’t need to know what happened behind closed curtains.
Alyssa turned on her heel and passed me one of the beers. “Stay, please.” She collapsed into one of the plush leather couches and patted the seat beside her. “You can pretend like you don’t know me again tomorrow. I promise.”
Pretending I didn’t know her would never be the problem. I stayed by the entrance to the closed-off area and drank my beer in silence.
“Don’t you… have a boyfriend?” I asked, trying to gauge her behavior.
Her smile slipped, and she tilted her beer, letting it pour into her mouth. After she swallowed, she held my gaze for a beat. “I’m going to be honest. I didn’t invite you back here to talk.”
“Why did you bring me here?” My voice was rough with desire. Just the hint of seduction was enough to make me hard to the point of pain. If she was offering what I suspected, I didn’t know how I’d say “no.” Wasn’t sure I could.
She set her bottle on the table beside the couch and sauntered over. “I’ve had a rough week. I was hoping you’d help me drown my sorrows.”
My heart kicked at her words, and my gut clenched. I’d have no trouble drowning in her. All the air had left the room, and the way her hips swayed as she glided closer made it impossible to think clearly .
On her toes, her lips grazed my ear, and she whispered, “Let me drown in you tonight.”
When she withdrew and our gazes connected, every logical thought vanished. I’d watched her from afar for months, longed for a taste, for the chance I was getting tonight.
Was it wrong to say “yes”? On so many levels.
But I couldn’t force my feet to retreat when every other part of me wanted to stay. She plucked the bottle from my fingers, drained the rest of my beer, and let the bottle thump onto the carpet at our feet.
Her fingers came to rest on the top button of my jeans, and she stared up. A silent question.
“You’ve been drinking,” I said.
“The only drinks I’ve had are the ones I drank with you,” she said. “I’m not drunk. Not even close. I promise.”
“You’re sure?” I tried to remember if she’d smelled like alcohol when she’d been sprawled across my lap—but all I could remember was warm vanilla and flowers, which were now overpowered a bit by the stench of beer. Maybe she was being truthful.
“Positive,” she said, fluttering her eyelashes at me.
I drew her hand down to press against my erection. I was so hard I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to help her drown before I lost control.
With a flick of her fingers, she undid my jeans, and her hand slid into my pants, gripping my length. I let out a strangled grunt of pleasure, and she stroked while drawing closer, our bodies brushing together. My pants were open wide, my boxer-briefs only half on.
I leaned down, my hands digging into her hair, and I kissed her like I’d wanted to for all the weeks on this tour and all the months on the last one. Our lips collided, and our tongues tangled. She tasted like beer and vodka.
My hand eased up her dress, and she parted her legs when I ran my fingers along her thigh and gripped her ass.
I moved her panties to the side and groaned into her mouth when I realized how wet she was.
Wet for me. For this. Seemed impossible, but I couldn’t deny what I was feeling as her panties fell to the floor.
There was no way I was going to last as long as I should.
When I lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around my middle, and I laid her down onto the couch, our lips barely breaking contact.
My exposed cock brushed against her wetness, and I sucked in a breath.
When was the last time I’d wanted a woman like this?
Never. I’d never wanted anyone with this urgency, this evaporation of everything I thought I knew about myself.
“Alyssa,” I murmured, burying my face in her neck and rocking against her, straining to keep in check.
“Again,” she said, securing me tight against her so my length slid along her most sensitive parts. “Again. God, do it again.”
Had the alcohol caught up to me? Or was being with her like a drug?
Desire made me delirious as I followed her orders.
She responded to every movement as though she was on the cusp of losing all control, and I couldn’t get enough of her, of the sighs and cries, of the way her nails dug into my back through my shirt, of the way she held me so close.
“I’m gonna come,” she whimpered. “I want you inside me when I come.”
Her words went straight to my cock, bypassing my brain, and I slid down my boxer briefs and slipped inside her wet heat, eager to find release for us both, striving, searching, ecstasy just out of my reach.
Any rational thought was gone, and I was so deep in the moment with her, I couldn’t think of anything else. I was drowning in sensation.
“Yes,” she said. “Yes, right there.” She arched her back and wrapped her legs around my middle. “Slower. Oh.” She breathed. “Yeah. Like that.” The words were almost a whisper in my ear.
“I don’t know…” I couldn’t hold out much longer. My breathing was labored with the strain of remaining in check. She was so wet and our rhythm so painfully sensual, my release lurked around the edges of my consciousness. I wanted it, and I wanted to hold off.
“So close,” she murmured. “Please, Pasha.”
My name on her lips almost caused me to lose it, but I caught myself at the last second. Her hands framed my face and brought my lips to hers, a soft whimpering noise escaping her and entering my mouth. It was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard.
“Yes,” she said over and over. “So fucking good.” She pulsed around me. “I’m good. I’m so good.”
I changed my grip on her ass and picked up my pace, chasing my own release. When it came, I collapsed on top of her. As soon as the last of my orgasm subsided, reason returned.
“Protection,” I muttered into her neck. I’d forgotten. How had I forgotten? I’d never, ever forgotten before.
“Not to worry,” she said, wiggling underneath me. “You’re safe with me.”
I raised myself off her and grabbed a nearby box of tissues. I sat on the edge of the couch while she cleaned herself up and straightened her clothes.
She had a boyfriend, didn’t she? When I asked, she avoided answering.
What had I done ?
“I’m on the pill, and I get checked regularly for all that other stuff. I know you don’t sleep around—girls on the tour talk—so I’m not worried about where you’ve been.”
She moved around the room, tidying our bottles, while I sat somewhat stunned.
“That was fun,” she said.
I squinted at her as I tried to adjust my clothes. “Boyfriend?”
She pursed her lips. “We broke up. Not exactly something I wanna talk about, either, before or after having sex with you.”
At least I hadn’t broken one of my moral rules along with my two work rules. I couldn’t decide if the night had been a disaster or a triumph. Now that I’d been with her, seen her like that, felt her wrapped around me, I wasn’t sure I could stop myself from wanting it all again.
“I should get back to the bus,” Alyssa said.
“I’ll take you.” I rose from my seat, finally pulling myself together.
“You can’t drive.”
“Mia gave me a car and a driver tonight.” Had what just happened with Alyssa been what she’d meant about blowing off some steam?
Alyssa eyed me, appearing to search for something in my expression. “Of course she did.”
I didn’t know what her comment meant, but my head was too muddled by her proximity and the alcohol to dig into it.
We managed to exit the club unnoticed, and the ride back to the buses was silent. The streetlights washed across her face at regular intervals. Was I supposed to say something? Did she want more from me?
When I climbed out of the car, the door to Mia’s bus swished open, and she came running out, her long dark hair flying, excitement splashed across her face as Alyssa exited behind me .
Mia’s smile faltered, and her gaze narrowed on Alyssa. “Have fun?” she asked, and I recognized the false brightness in her tone.
“Yes,” I said. Alyssa gave me a tight smile and hurried toward her own bus.
“What’s going on there?” Mia asked once Alyssa was out of earshot.
“Nothing,” I said, which felt like a truth and a lie. I wanted to follow Alyssa, figure out if I could seek her out again or if she didn’t want anything more.
Mia flashed her left hand, something bright catching the streetlight. Tyler pounded down the bus stairs behind her, appearing at her shoulder. “We’re getting married!” Mia cried.
I rocked back on my heels in surprise. I wasn’t shocked.
Both of them had confessed their questions about whether marriage was the right choice for them.
Tyler had worried about Mia being too young to make such a permanent commitment.
She worried he’d never ask because she’d abandoned Tyler and her baby once.
“We’ve spent all night planning,” Mia said, her face glowing.
“It’s not happening soon, obviously—we’ve got the rest of the tour—but when we do it, I was hoping you’d walk me down the aisle?
” She gave me a hopeful look. “And do the father-daughter dance with me? Which, you know, ’cause you’re not that much older, would be more like the brother-sister dance, but still… ”
My throat tightened. Could I push out the only word I needed? Having her ask was an honor. “Yes.”
“Yay!” She threw her arms around my neck and squealed in my ear. “I have all these fun plans for the dance. I want to do something really great. Are you up for it? ”
I took a deep breath. “Yes,” I said again. Worry sprung up at the back of my mind about what she’d throw my way. I couldn’t dance, and Mia didn’t have the time in her schedule to teach me. As long as the wedding was far enough away, I’d be fine.
“I’m so happy for you both,” I said, drawing them both into another hug, remembering a time when I was this happy too.