Chapter 6
6
T hree days.
She’d managed to avoid running into Rip’s new bodyguards for three days, which meant that she’d spent a lot of time in her room or office.
But that was worth it for peace of mind, right?
Except, she had to eat.
And coffee . . . she needed coffee more than food.
Which is what led her into the kitchen at the same time that he happened to be there. Rather than running away, she forced herself to keep moving and make her usual breakfast. Coffee with lots of cinnamon vanilla creamer and a bagel with cream cheese and strawberry jelly.
Cate had a sweet tooth. She knew it wasn’t good to eat sugar all the time which is why she’d have a sensible lunch and dinner.
But a bit of jelly in the morning was what got her out of bed.
“Good morning, Cate,” Ethan said, glancing up from where he was reading something on a tablet as he sat at the kitchen island.
On her seat.
Cate tried to calm the persistent nagging inside her that said she had to sit in that seat. That no other seat would do. She liked having a routine. It helped her anxiety. She especially needed that right now when her worries were worse than usual.
It could be due to the way her brain worked. It could also be due to her chaotic childhood after her parents died in a car accident. They’d been quiet, loving people. Her life had been settled and calm when they were alive.
Unlike life at her aunt and uncle’s. Which had been complete chaos and had often led to her hiding in Rhodes’ closet while she’d had a meltdown. Her system would get overloaded, something her aunt and uncle never understood. And her cousin, James, well, he’d just liked to push her and push her until she fell over the edge.
Asshole.
“Are you all right?” Ethan asked.
Crap. She’d just been standing there, staring at him.
Way to act normal, Cate.
She looked from her plate to where he was sitting, then back again.
She wasn’t going to ask him to move and risk offending him. God knew Samantha hadn’t been impressed when Cate had asked her to move her handbag from her favorite stool one morning.
You have to be more flexible. Especially with people staying in the house.
For Rhodes.
He seemed to care for Samantha for some reason. And she should be glad that he’d found someone else to care about. After his girlfriend, Emma, died he hadn’t dated for years.
Emma had been lovely. Kind and caring. Understanding. Cate had loved her too.
And Samantha was, well, she was Samantha.
“Cate?” Ethan said in a surprisingly gentle voice. She wouldn’t have thought a man that big could be gentle. “I know you don’t know me well, but you can talk to me.”
Talk to him? Why would she want to do that?
“About what?” she asked.
“About anything,” he replied. “For instance, you can tell me why I’m making you so uncomfortable right now. I want you to be comfortable around me.”
“Why?” she asked, unable to figure out why he’d want that.
“Because I might be here for a while. I know it’s not easy to have people in your house. But if we were friends, it would be easier, right?”
Friends?
She didn’t have friends. She had Rhodes. And Oliver. But he was paid to be her assistant. And she barely knew her other work colleagues.
“That’s not necessary,” she said stiffly.
Crap. She probably should have said something more polite.
Would he get upset? She hated upsetting people. But it inevitably seemed to happen—like when she’d asked Samantha to move her handbag. Her face had twisted into a scowl and she’d stared at Cate as if she hated her.
But Ethan’s expression didn’t change. “Maybe not necessary, but it would make life easier, wouldn’t it? Because, as your friend, I want you to be at ease. So why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”
He wants to know.
Tell him.
“I, um, it’s just . . . that stool . . . I’m sorry.”
“You want to sit on this stool?” he asked.
“Sorry. Yes, I do.”
“No need to be sorry.” He got up to move around to a different stool. “Is it all right if I sit here? Or would you rather I leave while you eat your breakfast?”
He was moving?
Without making a fuss?
What had he asked? If he could stay? Would he really leave if she asked him to?
“No, of course you can stay.”
That was the polite answer. The one she knew she should give.
But to her surprise, she actually didn’t mind the idea of him being here while she ate.
That was . . . odd.
She settled, stealing a glimpse of him as she picked up her knife and fork.
Wait. Shoot. He was going to think she was weird for eating a bagel with a knife and fork, wasn’t he?
Nobody ate their bagel with a knife and fork. But she didn’t like to touch her food when she ate it.
Cate set her knife and fork down just as he turned away. Now he was leaving.
You scared him away.
“Would you like more coffee?” Ethan asked, moving to the coffee pot.
So he wasn’t leaving?
Lord, this was an emotional rollercoaster.
“Um, oh, no, thank you.”
Ethan poured himself some coffee and she quickly ate a bite of bagel.
When he turned back, she attempted to swallow it before it was thoroughly chewed. Coughing, she reached for her coffee. She needed a drink.
Crap! She couldn’t breathe!
“Shit! Cate!”
She was vaguely aware of Ethan racing around to her side.
He pounded his hand on her back as she struggled to breathe or swallow. She knocked the coffee over, spilling it across the counter.
“Cate!”
That was Rhodes’ voice.
“Cough it up, Cate! Cough it up! Right. Now,” Ethan said in the most commanding voice she’d ever heard from anyone.
As she started to cough up the bagel, he stuck his hand in front of her mouth, capturing the half-chewed mess as it came out of her mouth.
Ew.
That was so gross. And embarrassing.
Rhodes handed her a glass of water as Ethan rubbed her back.
It was too much. She couldn’t handle it. Jumping off her stool, she fled to the safety of her bedroom.
Could she be any more of an idiot?
Who did that?
Rushing into her closet, she grabbed Lady, holding her toy tight. Then she quickly snapped the hair tie around her wrist against her skin.
Flick. Flick. Flick.
The pain wasn’t clearing her mind, though.
Urgh!
Crossing her arms over her torso, she patted her chest. Left side. Right side.
Butterfly hugs often helped her self-soothe and grounded her. But it felt like she needed something more. Rooting around in one of her drawers, she drew out her pacifier.
After placing it in her mouth, she gave herself some more butterfly hugs. Gradually, she felt calmer.
Still stupid. But the anxiety had receded enough that she could breathe easier. She could think.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Cate had to get herself under control because she knew Rhodes would be here soon to check on her.
Poor Rhodes, always having to take care of her crazy ass.
She’d set up a comfortable area in the closet to sit and read with a big beanbag seat and a soft weighted blanket.
Rhodes had put in a bookcase for her and there were drawers to keep things in.
There was a knock on her closet door a minute later. Pulling out her pacifier, she hid it in her drawer. Not that she was worried about Rhodes seeing it. He was always understanding of her . . . quirks.
But it felt like a sign of weakness.
Be tougher, Cate.
“I’m okay,” she called out, hoping he’d just walk away.
“Cate, you just choked,” Rhodes said. “I need to see that you’re all right. Protocol.”
Protocol.
“All right. Come in.”
Opening the door, Rhodes walked in and crouched next to her. “Are you all right?”
“Other than feeling like I completely humiliated myself?” she asked. “Sure. I’m great.”
“Cate. You choked. It wasn’t embarrassing. It was worrying.”
Shoot. That’s all she did for Rhodes. Worried him.
Reaching out, she cupped the side of his face. Touch was often hard for her. But not with Rhodes. “Please don’t worry about me. Really. I just swallowed before I’d fully chewed.”
“But that’s not like you. It’s having all these strangers here, isn’t it?” he asked. “Do you want to go stay at the lake house?”
Rhodes had a vacation home at Big Bear Lake. It was a gorgeous log cabin. She liked it there far more than at this house. Up there, it felt like she could breathe.
Maybe she should go stay there. Would Oliver mind commuting out there once a week? What about her client meetings? Could they be moved? She needed to check her calendar.
Cate liked to have visual charts for everything. Showing what activities she had to do. Where she had to be. It all needed to be written down or she got upset.
Stop being a wimp, Cate.
“I’d have to send Seth or Ethan with you, though.”
“Why? No one is interested in me.”
“You don’t know that. The stalker tried to break in here while you were here.”
“To get to you. They just didn’t know that you weren’t here. I’d be fine at the vacation house on my own. But I don’t think I want to go.”
“Why not?” Rhodes asked.
“I want to be here with you. I know I’m just more work for you?—”
“Hush,” he told her firmly. “You are not work, you’re my sister. I don’t want to hear that nonsense, understand? It upsets me to know you think about yourself like that.”
Cate knew she was a lot of work. But he’d never say that because he was an amazing brother. He was the best person she knew.
“It’s not nonsense.”
“Cate,” he said. She knew that tone. Rhodes was the one person who she usually understood without having to try to interpret what he meant or was feeling.
Cate sighed. “I just want to stay here with you. I don’t want to take one of your bodyguards away from you. You need them.”
Plus, she didn’t want to spend one-on-one time with one of them.
Especially Ethan.
Nope. That would be disastrous.
After what had just happened, her plan was to stay as far away from him as she could.
“All right. But I want your promise that if this gets too hard, you’ll tell me. And we’ll figure something else out. Even if that means hiring someone else for you. Someone you’re comfortable with.”
How would she ever be comfortable with someone?
There was a knock on the bedroom door and she stiffened. Who was that? Why would someone knock on her door?
They’re probably looking for Rhodes, you idiot.
Rhodes didn’t even bother asking her if she wanted him to answer the door, he just got to his feet and closed the closet door behind him.
She glanced around. This closet was her safe place. Rhodes had offered her one of the spare bedrooms, but she liked that this was cozy.
Although as far as closets went, hers was rather large. Rhodes had given her the main bedroom suite.
The closet door opened, making her jump. But Rhodes stepped in, holding a plate with a bagel on it. It looked almost exactly the same as the one she’d prepared before.
In his other hand, he held a cup of coffee.
“You got me coffee?” she asked, reaching up to take the mug.
Food, she could go without.
But coffee? Nope. She wouldn’t survive. Taking a sip, she breathed out a satisfied sigh. It was made perfectly with just the right amount of cinnamon vanilla creamer.
Delish.
“No, Ethan made you coffee,” Rhodes said in a strange voice.
She’d never heard her brother use that tone and couldn’t quite figure out what it meant. He sounded . . . upset? Concerned? But neither of those seemed quite right.
“And he also made you another bagel. He’s concerned that you won’t eat breakfast now. Oh, and he wants me to stay with you while you eat it, so you don’t choke again.”
She blinked. He did?
That was very . . . thoughtful.
“And you don’t want to do that?” she guessed. “It’s all right. I’m not going to choke again.”
Mainly because she’d eat here without any distractions. Shoot. She needed to get moving. Wasn’t she supposed to be in the office by now?
Checking the time on her watch, panic flooded her. “I have to get to my office. I’m due there in five minutes.”
Cate stared down at her bagel in mourning. She was hungry, and it looked delicious. Ethan had even included a knife and fork.
“Then you have four minutes and thirty seconds to eat,” Rhodes said
True.
“But I like to be early.”
Rhodes just shot her a look. “Eat, Cate. You’ll function better with food in your system.”
She cut herself off a piece and ate it. Yum.
Rhodes smiled at her.
“You’re being smug now, aren’t you? Because you think you’re right.”
“Big brothers are always right; don’t you know that by now?”
“Big brothers? I assume you’re talking about your size since we’re twins.”
“Hey! That’s rude.” He grinned. “I’m four minutes older, eighty pounds heavier, and nearly a whole foot taller. So yeah, I’m the big brother. And that means you have to listen to me.”
“I don’t know where you get these strange delusions from. Do you think you were dropped on your head as a child? James used to say I was beamed down to Earth from an alien planet of emotionless freaks.”
The thing was, she did have emotions. But they tended to scare her. And she didn’t know what to do with them or how to verbalize them. So she either repressed them or said something dumb.
You’re such an idiot, Cate.
“If anyone was dropped on their head as a kid, it was James,” Rhodes said angrily. “And you’re not an alien or emotionless. He’s a fucking asshole who deserves to be drop-kicked all the way into hell.”
She nodded. This was true.
“You might be delusional and think that you’re the boss of me, but I am glad you’re my brother.”
“Good, because you’re stuck with me.”