Chapter Six
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C assie huddled under Tristan’s heavy wool peacoat as he drove them south away from the scene. His dark, woodsy scent drifted up from the satin lining, but she could still smell the metallic bite of Penny’s blood on her clothes. It turned her stomach.
Tristan’s quiet, solid presence and the extra warmth helped soothe her inner turmoil a little. After a few minutes, the worst of the shivers had stopped.
But the shock was still there, a ball of ice lodged deep in her gut. Her mind continued to race, going over the sequence of events, struggling to understand what the hell had happened. And why.
Every horrific detail of the attack kept replaying over and over in her head in an endless loop. She hadn’t noticed anyone tailing them from the house, or after they’d stopped for the coffee. Had she just missed it because she’d let her guard down?
The bottom line was, Penny had been her responsibility, and now she was dead. “It was my fault,” she said into the quiet.
“No, it wasn’t. You did everything you could to get out of there, and then held your ground against three shooters. Penny got shot because she left the vehicle against your orders.” He readjusted the air flow of the vents toward her.
“She was terrified.” Cassie shook her head, regret heavy in her heart.
She should have been more forceful and made Penny stay put.
Engaged the child locks to prevent her from getting out of the vehicle in the first place.
Jumped on top of her and pinned her on the floor to keep her there if necessary.
“I keep going over everything, trying to see if I missed a warning sign.” She shook her head. “Why didn’t I see it sooner?”
“Why would you have? There were zero credible threats on our radar, and they literally ambushed you out of nowhere.”
Didn’t matter. She and all the other personal security agents were trained to expect the unexpected. The truth was, she’d been caught with her guard down. And Penny had paid for that lapse with her life.
She had seen dead people before on the job. But she’d never been responsible for a death before, let alone someone under her protection. It wasn’t something she could just brush off.
“I thought if I could just make it to the pullout, maybe I could get past them on the sand before the safety glass failed. But the windshields were shot up so bad I couldn’t see, and.
.. Shit, I shouldn’t have stopped like that.
I should’ve kept going.” Making a run for it blind and trying to ram through the SUV would have been a better option than stopping and leaving them exposed.
Damn, she was second-guessing every single decision now.
“Cass, you’re the best driver we have. If you couldn’t get past them, then nobody else could’ve either.”
She glanced over at him in surprise. Did he really mean that?
“It’s true. I’d put you behind the wheel against anyone else at CPS in any situation. You did the best you could, alone and against an overwhelming enemy force. I’m just glad you’re still here.” His hand tightened around the steering wheel.
She was glad too. Thinking about how close she’d come to dying an hour ago was sobering.
At least Tristan was on her side. His belief in her and her abilities were a desperately needed balm on her raw conscience. But she’d never been good at taking compliments, and didn’t feel right accepting one after Penny had been killed on her watch.
She faced forward and lapsed into silence, resting her head against the window frame as a heavy wave of exhaustion hit.
“Go ahead and sleep for a while,” Tristan said.
Having him beside her made her feel safe on a deep and profound level. But she didn’t want him to see how shaken she really was. “Nah, I’m okay.”
At the first main intersection, Tristan turned west and headed for the coastal highway that would take them north back to Crimson Point. They didn’t talk on the drive, and she was grateful for the silence.
She didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
Didn’t want to talk period. Soon enough she would have to explain herself and defend her actions to the police, then again tomorrow with Ryder and the other senior management at CPS.
For now, she needed to retreat into herself and save what was left of her badly depleted energy reserves.
A small team was waiting for them when they arrived at the Sheriff’s Office.
Deputies took her and Tristan into separate rooms where they each gave an official statement of events.
The punch of emotion she’d experienced while talking about it at the scene was missing.
Instead, she felt weirdly hollow, almost robotic.
When she’d finished everything and they released her, Tristan was waiting for her in the reception area. His intense, green stare assessed her in a way that made her feel like he could read her innermost thoughts. “Ready to go home?”
“Yes.” More than.
Fifteen minutes later, he pulled into the driveway in front of her little 1920s sage-green, two-story shingled house and turned off the engine. As if he planned to get out too.
“Thanks for the ride.” She quickly set his jacket on the center console, reached for the door handle, and got out before he could move, determined to escape into her house alone.
But, of course, he got out and followed her to the front door.
She threw him a wary glance, tired and feeling way too vulnerable at the moment to be alone with him inside her house. “I’m okay.”
He didn’t answer, but he also didn’t budge. His strong, silent routine shouldn’t have been as attractive as it was. She definitely needed him to leave so she could let down her guard and even break down without a witness.
Her hand was a little unsteady as she unlocked the front door. She stepped into the entry and disabled the alarm then turned to face him, barring him from following her in.
She stood tall, looked him right in those amazing green eyes. “I’m okay, Tristan.”
“No, you’re not, Cass.”
Pain flashed through her before she could steel herself.
He was right, though. Saw her way too clearly despite the brave front she was attempting to put on.
“You stayed with me and brought me home. I appreciate that and your concern. But I don’t need you to stay now.
I just want to get out of these clothes and have a long shower. ”
“I don’t want you to be alone right now.”
She cared about him. Too much. Didn’t want to hurt him. But he couldn’t stay. She didn’t trust herself to keep her distance. “Alone is exactly what I need to be right now.” She was way too weak where he was concerned, especially right now.
“Then what about Bristol? If you call her, I’ll wait until—”
She set a hand on the center of his chest to drive her point home. Held his gaze. “No.”
Big mistake.
The combined touch and eye contact sent an invisible current arcing between them, quick and hot like the snap of a fuse. She felt that shot of electricity all the way to her core, every inch of her palm and fingers tingling where they rested against his broad, muscled chest.
Before she could snatch her hand away, he covered it with his own.
Held it there against his heart. Staring into his eyes, the primal wave of heat left her teetering on the edge of giving into the sudden need suffusing her.
She wanted him to take her. For him to pin her to the nearest flat surface and replace the awful fear and shock with pleasure.
To make her stop thinking and just feel.
His other hand slid around to the middle of her back. He tugged her toward him, then slid both strong arms around her, pulling her to his chest. “You don’t have to do this alone, Cass,” he murmured in that deep and sexy accented voice. “You’ve got lots of people who care about you. Let us help.”
His heartfelt words and the unexpected hug slid past all her defenses.
Rather than pull away the way her mind ordered her to, she found herself leaning into him. Resting her head in the muscular hollow of his shoulder, she wound her arms around his waist, closed her eyes, and hung on.
Safe. She felt so incredibly safe in his arms. Wanted to burrow in deeper and stay there forever. But that wasn’t all.
The ever-present current of desire she’d been battling to suppress around him for months had turned into a raging fire in her veins, every point of contact between them sensitized. As if her body had finally woken up after a long hibernation.
He didn’t move as he held her. Tight, his lips at her temple.
It would be so easy. So damned easy to turn her head and kiss him. To dig her fingers into his shoulders and unleash the terrible yearning inside her. Drag his big, powerful body on top of her and let him quench the unbearable hunger he’d created.
But the cost was more than she was willing or able to pay.
Pulling in a deep breath, she steeled herself and took a step back before she gave into temptation and did something she would regret as soon as it was over.
Her body cried out at the loss of contact. “Thanks for looking out for me. But I’ll be okay. Really.”
His jaw flexed. He stared down at her for a long, taut moment, the unmistakable heat and frustration in his eyes doing nothing to extinguish the arousal burning in her. “Promise me you’ll call if you change your mind. Promise ,” he insisted.
Her heart squeezed, proving beyond any doubt that her connection to him was far from just physical. And that was almost as terrifying as the rifle fire she’d faced earlier.
She forced a tight smile. “I promise.”
But she wouldn’t. Because she couldn’t risk letting him in.
Not ever again.