Chapter Eight #2
“Cassie.” Ryder’s voice was firm, but his expression was kind. “You’ve just been through an incredibly traumatic event that took the life of someone in your charge. Taking a few days’ leave to process everything and prioritize your well-being isn’t a sign of weakness.”
Except that for her, it was. “I appreciate that. But I don’t need either at this time.”
“At the risk of being blunt, it wasn’t a suggestion,” Callum said. “A leave of absence after an incident with the potential to be traumatic—and this definitely was—is mandatory, and written up clearly in the policy manual. Kerrigan can send you the pertinent sections if you want to re-read them.”
Her cheeks got hot. “No, that’s not necessary.”
“If you feel a week or more is too long, then at least take until Monday at the earliest.”
Over the weekend. It wasn’t terrible. And it looked like she didn’t have a choice anyway. More pushback at this point wasn’t going to do her any favors, only make her look argumentative and disrespectful. “I’ll report for duty on Monday morning then.”
Callum’s mouth twitched slightly, his eyes gleaming with a touch of humor. “Monday will be fine. Thank you. And we’ll revisit the counseling at a later date.”
She nodded, because what was she going to say? You’re welcome?
“This matter is now officially concluded,” Ryder said, closing the folder in front of him.
“Take these next few days to look after yourself. And if you need anything from the company, or any of us can do something for you personally, just reach out. We’ve all been through hard times ourselves, and we’re all here for you. Okay?”
Oh, dammit, now her throat closed up. She forced a grateful smile, gave another nod.
Everyone got up and filed out of the office. Tristan was right behind her as she walked to the elevator. He stepped into it with her, his big frame seeming to fill up the enclosed space.
“Thanks for sticking up for me in there,” she said as they rode down to the parking level, that all-too familiar pull tugging at her.
“It was the truth.”
He was so good to her. Why was he always so good to her? Did he think he would wear her down and she’d eventually give in to a hookup?
She hated that she was so suspicious. She didn’t want to be that person, but she also didn’t want to be taken advantage of and get crushed again. The lessons she’d learned from her ex weren’t something she would ever forget.
Low voices reached her as she neared the break room. Creed and Donovan, both fellow bodyguards, stopped talking when they saw her. Creed lifted his chin at her, piercing gray eyes somber. “All good?”
So good , she thought sarcastically. “Yeah, thanks. You?”
“Yep. Heading out again soon. Bella says hi, and to call her if you need anything.”
“That’s sweet.” Bella was lovely inside and out, with a huge, mushy heart for animals. “Tell her thanks.”
“Anaya and I too,” Donovan added. “Just let us know.”
Their support and concern tugged at her insides. “Will do. Have a good one.”
She and Tristan took the stairs to the ground floor and stepped outside into the parking lot.
During the meeting the sky had clouded over into a solid, leaden gray, promising rain.
Her recently unknotted stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t really eaten anything substantial since before picking Penny up yesterday morning.
“I heard that. Wanna grab a bite to eat in town before you head home?” Tristan asked.
No, because she wanted to eat him up, and that was a problem she couldn’t handle at the moment. “Nah, I’ve got some soup I made.” If a bowl of instant chicken noodle counted as cooking.
His expression closed off, instantly making her feel like shit for pushing him away.
But she couldn’t afford to let him in any further.
She didn’t want to hurt him, but she also couldn’t risk any more pain when she was still healing from the mistakes she’d made in the past. Because her instincts warned her that he held the power to hurt her even worse than that.
“Ah,” he said. “Okay, well, guess I’ll see you Monday.”
She stopped walking and turned to face him. This wasn’t easy for her. She wished things could be different. That she could be different. But she wasn’t. And they both had to face that.
“Look. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, I really do. You’ve gone above and beyond, with this whole thing and through everything that happened with Bristol in the summer. I just need to go home and crash.”
“You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
” His tone was fierce, his eyes simmering with some intense emotion she couldn’t define.
“I know you’re strong. I know you’re capable.
We all do. But you’re also human, and like I said before, you don’t need to do this by yourself.
So if you decide at some point that you don’t actually want to be alone, I hope you’ll suck it up, set your pride aside, and just text me. ”
She barely stopped herself from hugging him and apologizing for being such an icy bitch. “Okay. I will.”
He raised an auburn eyebrow, clearly skeptical.
She grinned. “I will.”
His eyebrow dropped, his expression turning serious. Except now there was an intimacy in his gaze that she felt at a cellular level. “If you need me, I’ll be there. No questions asked.”
Seriously, how was she supposed to keep her protective walls up when he said things like that? Because she believed him. And his offer meant more to her than he would ever know. “Thank you.”
Apparently satisfied, he nodded once. “See you Monday.”
She got into her car, a hollow feeling forming in the pit of her stomach as she watched him walk to his truck.
The thought of going home to her empty house was depressing and a little frightening.
She had a long, tough weekend ahead of her, and the loneliness was compounded by knowing it would be three more long days before she saw him again.