Chapter Fourteen
––––––––
“F eel like anything specific?” Tristan asked as he drove them toward the waterfront.
She didn’t even have to think about it. “A double cheeseburger with bacon, and crispy fries.”
He laughed in surprise. “Okay then. Sea Hag? Or somewhere else down the coast?”
“Sea Hag’s perfect.” Driving down the coast with him outside of work felt too much like a date, and she was already struggling to suppress her feelings for him. Besides, she was starving, and the Sea Hag made the best burgers in town.
A cool front had moved in over the past few hours, blanketing the low-lying areas in a thin band of fog that hugged the ground. The streetlamps along Front Street were surrounded by misty, hazy halos of light.
Now that the tourists had all gone, there was plenty of parking along the waterfront. The ever-present wind coming off the ocean washed over her as they walked up to the bar. Tristan opened the front door for her.
“Thanks,” she murmured, her shoulder brushing his chest on the way by. She pressed her lips together at the hot zing that shot through her body. Even accidental contact with him caused a reaction. If he ever put his hands on her with intent, she wasn’t sure she could handle it.
Doubts began to creep in.
She shouldn’t have come. Shouldn’t have done this, but he’d caught her in a weak moment. This was blurring the lines between them even more and probably sending him the wrong message. She’d have to make sure he understood where she still stood.
The server put them at a candlelit table for two overlooking the water. Through the blanket of fog, she could see the tops of the waves as they rolled onto the beach in the distance. It felt inappropriately romantic. Intimate.
The deep craving for him ratcheted up another notch.
Thankfully, the server came right over to take their orders, saving her from having to make conversation she wasn’t up to at the moment.
It wasn’t that busy in here, and the kitchen was fast, so they should get their food fairly quickly and be out the door within half an hour at most. Surely she could hang in there that long without cracking.
She ordered her burger and a red wine. He ordered a turkey club and stuck with water.
“Did you get up to anything yesterday?” he asked.
“Not really. Read the book Bristol dropped off, and that’s about it.”
“Any good?”
“I’ve read worse, but it wasn’t really my thing. I like mysteries and thrillers. Well, I like reading about them. Not living them.”
One side of his mouth kicked up. “I get that.”
“You do anything exciting?”
“Took Carly to a movie.”
“Just a movie? No shopping?” she said in surprise.
“There might have been a little shopping before.”
“Called it.” She took a sip of her wine. “I love how you spoil her. And I don’t mean buying her things. Spending time together, just the two of you, is priceless. Even if she doesn’t fully appreciate that yet.”
“I like spending time with her. She’s great company, and I love her to death.”
Her traitorous ovaries cramped. But damn, he really would be such an amazing dad. The kind who stayed even when things got tough. The kind who would love and support his child for life.
Disliking the direction her thoughts were taking, she was saved from having to think up something else to say when the server arrived with their food. She wolfed down her burger embarrassingly fast, then polished off the fries.
“I’m not usually a fry fan,” she said, pushing her empty plate away.
“But the fries here are ridiculous. I dunno what they put in them, but they’re addictive.
” They used Yukon gold potatoes, double-cooked them so they were brown and crispy with the perfect interior texture.
And the house-made ketchup had a tangy punch without the sickly sweetness of the storebought stuff that just put them over the top.
“Here. Have some of mine if you want.” He slid his plate toward her.
“No, I’ve had more than enough.”
“I insist. Eat.”
Her food probably hadn’t hit bottom yet, so her brain didn’t realize her stomach was full. She took a fry from his plate and ate it. It was just as delicious as all the others.
She ate a few more, watching as Tristan finished his sandwich and wiped his hands on his napkin.
It almost hurt to look at him. He was gorgeous and hot as hell in that dark green henley that hugged every muscular contour of his shoulders and chest. And he’d dropped everything to show up at her door after finding out what had happened earlier.
He was making it so damned hard to keep him at a safe distance.
“Want something else to drink? And maybe dessert?” he asked.
She’d like him for dessert. Stretched out on her bed, naked, for her to explore at her leisure.
“No, I’m too full.”
“We can wait a while. Unless you’re in a rush to get home?”
Home to her empty house that was usually her refuge, but she was trapped by his magnetism and didn’t want to escape. He was the flame, and she was the moth. “No, I’m okay.”
“Feel like a walk on the beach then? Or we could drive up to the lighthouse and sit there for a while. Settle your thoughts.”
He knew she was dreading going home. Was making it impossible for her to turn him down.
Because she didn’t want to. God, she wished she was in a better place emotionally, and that they didn’t work together.
“I wouldn’t mind sitting up there for a while.
” And maybe brainstorming a bit about what might be going on.
“Okay, let’s go.” He flagged the server down, waved away her protest at paying for her own meal. “You can get the next one.”
They walked out to his truck together. She even liked being the passenger while he drove, something that almost never happened.
And the truck held the faint scent of his cologne.
She felt completely safe with him beside her.
Wasn’t once tempted to check her mirror to ensure no one was following them.
He drove them along Front Street and up the hill to the north end of town, then headed left on the winding road to the lookout point. The red and white lighthouse stood at the edge of the cliff, its brilliant beam of light skimming over the restless waves below.
As soon as she stepped out of the truck, the wind whipped over her, forced up the steep cliff. Tristan appeared beside her.
“Here, put these on.” He handed her a waterproof jacket and a knit cap.
She tugged the jacket over her leather one and pulled the cap on. They wrapped her in his scent, cocooned her in warmth, and protected her from the wind.
He walked with her over to a bench overlooking the waves and sat beside her, hands in the pockets of his own jacket as the wind whipped through his hair. The view was gorgeous, the lights of Crimson Point spreading out along the curving bay to their left.
But mostly she was drinking in Tristan’s profile outlined by the lights.
He didn’t say anything. The tension that had been building in her stomach began to ease. He was comfortable just sitting here with her, giving her time and space to unwind. Silently supporting her, comforting her with his presence.
Shit. She was in deep, deep trouble.
He looked over at her. “Cold?”
A little. “I’m okay.”
“I’ve got a blanket in the truck.”
No. No blankets. It was all too easy to imagine him getting it, tucking it around her. Taking care of her and ripping down the last of her wavering defenses. “I’m good.”
He went back to staring out at the water. It was hypnotic, watching the waves form bright crests as they curled toward shore, then crashed against the rocks below in explosions of foam. The wild, restless energy and rhythm of it soothed her somehow.
The longer they sat there, the more attuned to him she became. But there was a deep ache forming inside her. The pain of longing for something she knew she could never have.
She’d wondered way too many times what he would be like in bed. He was so steady and controlled all the time, but he had an underlying intensity she’d picked up on lately. She’d seen the heat in his eyes a few times when he’d looked at her.
And each time, she’d felt an answering heat ignite in her.
Stop , she told herself angrily. She was just spinning ridiculous, unrealistic fantasies about him in her head. Hadn’t she learned her lesson yet? Or did she want more pain and disappointment when reality crashed into her like a brick wall?
He’s different , a little voice at the back of her mind insisted. You know he is .
She was starting to believe it. But too afraid to risk it.
The combined sound of the wind and waves lulled her. She drew her knees up, hunched into herself more and finally allowed herself to lean over and rest her head on his shoulder.
He lifted one arm and draped it across her shoulders, the gesture both accepting and protective. She told herself it was the cold wind making her eyes tear up.
She could feel her resolve crumbling as the minutes ticked by. More than once she almost gave into the urge to slide into his lap, cuddle up, and find his lips with hers. But she was in complete turmoil. Couldn’t stop her brain from chewing on what had happened.
“I’ve been going over everything in my mind. There are a couple people who could have their reasons for targeting me.”
He looked at her sharply. “Who?”
She didn’t miss the tension in his body or the hard edge to his voice. “People I...testified against in Vegas. But the ones I would consider potential threats are still in prison.” As far as she knew.
“Could they have connections on the outside?”
“Oh yeah.” They definitely could. “That’s what I’m thinking.”
“Who are they?”
She released a slow breath. “People I don’t want to even think about anymore.”
Cassie could feel his frustration that she didn’t tell him more and felt a twinge of guilt. She wasn’t shutting him out because she didn’t trust him. She just wasn’t ready to open up her healing wounds all over again.
“You should tell Ryder. Or Callum or Walker.”
She nodded, sat up straight. “I should head back now.”
He glanced down at her, his face so close it would take no more than a tilt of her head to bring their mouths together. “You sure?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t argue. Didn’t try to stop her or coax her to stay. “Okay.” He put her in the passenger seat and turned the heat on. “Need anything on the way?”
“No.” Nothing she was prepared to ask for or act on.
The trip to her place went by way too fast. And even though she knew she had to go in alone, part of her still ached to ask him to come in—and stay the night.
He parked the truck. Shut off the ignition.
A tiny bit of panic spurted through her. If he came inside, it was all over. There was zero chance she could resist him. “You don’t have to walk me in.”
“Going to anyway.”
He got out. Walked beside her up the path to her door. She unlocked it and disarmed her alarm system, reminding herself over and over of why she had to stay strong and not give in.
She stepped inside. “I really needed that. Thank you.” But then she made the mistake of looking up into his eyes.
Whatever else she’d planned to say was instantly forgotten. He was standing less than three feet away, big and strong and caring, and so damned sexy she couldn’t breathe.
“You sure you’ll be okay alone?”
She drew in a deep breath. “Tristan...” How did she explain this without hurting him or damaging their relationship? “I can’t.”
He watched her in silence, the heat in his eyes making her heart thud. “Can’t what?”
“ We can’t,” she corrected herself, struggling to think straight. Her heart was pounding. “For a lot of reasons.”
He didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “Such as?”
“Such as I have the most incredibly shitty and malfunctioning taste in men.”
He raised an auburn eyebrow. “I think I’m insulted.”
She laughed softly. “I don’t mean you. I don’t think you’re like the others, but if I’m honest, no, I don’t trust my instincts.
At all. And I’m back to work tomorrow. We both have a job to do, and we’ll be working closely together at times in the future too.
I don’t want to mess that up, and crossing the line would reflect badly on both of us professionally. ”
“You seem pretty certain about that.”
Oh, she was. And when he kept staring at her, she continued.
“I got involved with someone at my last job, and it was a huge mistake. I’ve made it my mission not to repeat my past mistakes.
CPS is a small company, and this is a small town.
People would talk, no matter how careful we were.
Rumors would start flying—and I would take the brunt of it because I’m the woman.
” She’d be the office slut, and he’d be the stud.
“No thanks. So I need you to understand and not take this personally.”
“I’m trying like hell, Cass, but I’ll be honest—it’s not working.”
Oh, God... “I wish...”
“You wish what?”
“I wish we didn’t work together. Things would be different then.”
“They can be whatever we want them to be. And while I do see how unfair it is that you’d be judged twice as hard as me because you’re a woman, I don’t give a single shit what other people say. I only care what you think.”
She swallowed, clinging to the last shred of her control . Don’t give in. You’ll ruin it. You’ll ruin everything, just like you always do. “I...”
He sighed, his frustration clear. “You know I’m here for you, no matter what. Right?”
She nodded. Swallowed against the sudden tightening in her throat.
“Okay. Take care of yourself,” he murmured, the deep drawl resonating inside her. And then he made the ache inside her a thousand times worse by leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head before walking away.