30. Sherbet And Marshmallows
30
SHERBET AND MARSHMALLOWS
“W e both survived,” he said three days later. “I managed to not insult you or your family, we spent time doing things together and apart. I’ll call it a win.”
His whole life he worried about not being able to be himself. Not just with his family but also with a partner.
Even though he felt Charlotte understood him, there was part of him deep down that worried she didn’t believe him.
Why else keep questioning that he had changed?
He hadn’t. Most times, if left to his own devices, he was pretty laid back.
When he was pushed into doing things that made him too uncomfortable for a longer period of time, his patience blew the top off the meter.
“It was a good time,” she said. “You’re not mad that I went shopping with Amanda in Boston?”
“No,” he said. “I was just as content to spend some time in the casino.”
It worked out well. Charlotte got her girl time in, and bought some things for her niece and nephew. Drew watched the kids and Foster won a few thousand. An even better win in his eyes.
It was ironic in his mind that there was nothing better than a big crowd of strangers to be left alone. That was what a casino was for.
No one bothered you when you were at a blackjack table.
Maybe people watched, but they didn’t talk to him.
Talk about his kind of crowd.
“I bet you were,” she said. “Pun intended. Do you normally win at the casino?”
“No,” he said. “Could just be luck was on my side.”
Considering the whole weekend was better than he expected, he wasn’t complaining.
It gave him time to process Charlotte’s thoughts on him. Some he wasn’t so thrilled about, but he didn’t know how to change it either other than continuing to be who he was.
After they’d unpacked, they’d gone to Drew’s parents’ house for a cookout.
He met the whole family and didn’t have a problem with it.
Charlotte kept looking at him to see if he was ready to go and he told her he was fine.
The Bond family reminded him a bit of his, but on a smaller scale in terms of numbers. At least that group.
He talked when asked questions, volunteered some things, but not much.
No one asked about West or his business ventures. Maybe that helped some.
The most that was brought up was that Scott Bond had talked to West a few times, which he’d known.
“It was a nice weekend,” she said. “You were a good sport about it.”
Maybe they could talk about this some more. They were on the road heading back home. They got up bright and early to catch the first ferry.
“Am I that hard to get a read on?” he asked.
“I don’t think so,” she said.
“You aren’t acting that way,” he said.
She turned her head to look at him. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he said.
“Could have fooled me,” she said.
He sighed. This wasn’t going well. “I’m confused,” he said.
“Tell me about what,” she said.
“I’m trying to tell you but can’t find the words. I thought we talked about this on Friday morning. You keep thinking that I’ve changed and I’m not sure how to get you to understand I haven’t.”
Her shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry about that,” she said. “Amanda and I talked some when we were shopping.”
“Do you always tell your sister everything?” he asked. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that but knew his siblings shared a lot too.
He never was one to do it. Or it was long after the fact something happened that he’d share.
“No,” she said. “You know we never had a close relationship and now we do. She knew I was quiet and asked if there was a problem. I didn’t go into details but said that I thought I upset you. I guess I did. Why haven’t you said anything?”
“One,” he said. “You didn’t upset me. I said confused.”
“The same thing to some people.”
He shrugged. “I’m not going to argue with you about it. It’s not the same for me. I thought on Friday you had a better understanding of me when I explained nothing had changed. I even pointed out Bode to you.”
“You did. And it got me thinking,” she admitted.
“But you still worried all weekend that I might want to leave. Or I needed space,” he said.
She laughed. “Foster. I would have done that with anyone. I think you would have done the same to me if I went to your family’s house for a weekend. That is being considerate. If we were in a hotel, that would have been different. We were in my sister’s house. It’s not the same thing.”
He thought about her words for a second and realized she was right.
If they were staying at his mother’s house for a few days, he’d be asking her a lot of the same questions, or trying to get her some air from his mother.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll buy that.”
“Gee,” she said. “Thanks.”
“You’ve got a sarcastic tone to you. You’re not all sherbet and marshmallows.”
“Sherbet and marshmallows?” she asked. “What is that?”
“Bright or sunny and sweet. You come across that way most times, but I’ve seen another side of you.”
“That’s right,” she said, pointing her finger. “This is the side of me that has been locked up and wanted to claw its way out. For years I was always afraid to speak my mind with someone. I’d do it or try it and if someone pushed back, I stopped.”
“Why?” he asked, frowning.
“Because I haven’t always wanted to upset people. I don’t seem to have that issue with you by the sounds of it.”
It was her dry tone of voice that had him snorting.
“I’m not upset.”
“Annoyed,” she said. “Sorry, confused.”
“That’s better,” he said. “Confused.”
“Maybe you’re not the only one confused,” she said.
“Why are you?” he asked. “Because you think I’m someone else? Because I’m not the typical guy you date?”
“No to the first one. Yes to the second.”
“You don’t think I’m someone else now?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “I’m not sure how I can get you to believe me other than keep saying it or showing it to you. But showing it to you takes time and you’ll have to figure it out. You’ve said before I’m one of the most truthful people you know, right?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Then believe me when I tell you that once you explained everything to me on Friday, I understood it. I don’t think you’ve changed or are trying to be someone you aren’t to make me happy.”
“Then what did you have to talk to your sister about?” he asked.
“Maybe I’m scared,” she said quietly.
“About what?” he asked.
“The second part of what I said. You’re so different from everyone else I’ve dated and what I feel for you is stronger.”
“Why is that a bad thing?” he asked. “Do you think I don’t feel the same way?”
He’d said before he felt the same as her, but it’s not like she’d said she loved him again either since last weekend.
He was happy she wasn’t one of those women who said it all the time. Or that would do it in hopes of getting him to repeat the words.
“I know you do,” she said softly.
That was something at least.
“Then what?”
“It’s different. I love that you’re not like anyone else and maybe I do worry that the newness would wear off on me and I don’t want that to happen.”
Not what he wanted to hear.
“Because I’m younger.”
She playfully slapped his arm. “Will you stop saying that? If you don’t, I’m going to start calling you my boy toy.”
He laughed. “No one has ever said that.”
“That’s right,” she said. “It’s a year. To me we are about the same age.”
“I think so,” he said.
“Then why do you keep making jokes about being younger?” she asked. “Or is it just a joke and nothing more? I worry it’s a dig more than anything.”
Ahhhh. He hadn’t thought of that.
“No dig,” he said. “And I’m sorry you feel that way. You know Abby and Lily are a lot younger than West and Braylon. No one says a word about that.”
“No,” she said. “But I think it’s as you say. Abby and Lily don’t come off as some silly little twenty-somethings.”
“Neither do you,” he said. “Or did you years ago?”
“I don’t think I did, but the men I dated tried to portray me that way.”
Which made more sense when she said she never got to be herself.
“I think we have to come to an understanding here,” he said. “You’re not used to men like me and you are doubting things. I don’t like to be doubted.”
“I know,” she said. “And that is weighing on me too.”
“Go with your heart. With what you feel,” he said. “That’s what I’m doing.”
She reached her hand over that was on his thigh and threaded their fingers together.
He looked over and she was smiling, then nodded her head.
No one said another word for ten minutes and he settled into the drive home, content and comfortable with the silence.
When he looked over, her eyes were shut and he hoped she was feeling the same as him.