Chapter 30
READY TO HEAR IT
“Now that was intense. I’m going to guess things didn’t go well with the drop-off?” he asked when Arden was lying on her back and breathing in and out.
He’d turned and flopped next to her.
“What gave you that idea?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I saw you running over and there was a look in your eyes that told me you just wanted to forget. That’s what the kiss was for.”
She laughed. “I want to forget a lot of things but not anything with us. I hope you aren’t insulted.”
“Nah,” he said. “I’m not. I get it. And I got a reward from it. It’s not personal. Do you want to talk about it?”
She sighed. “I should but don’t want to ruin our time together.”
“You’re not. I’m not here just for the use of my body, am I?”
He laughed when he said it, but there was part of him that wanted to know the truth to that statement also.
“No. I don’t think you’d be too upset if I were, but I’d never be that way. I hope you know that.”
He turned and gave her a kiss on the lips. “I do. I’ll be right back.”
He rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to take care of the condom, then splashed cool water over his face to cool down some.
When he came out she was dressed in one of his shirts that she’d pulled out of his folded clothes in a basket on the floor. The thought of her in his clothing brought home feelings of fierce protectiveness that he’d never thought he’d have.
She was the one.
He knew it.
She just wasn’t ready to hear it.
Maybe he wasn’t ready to say it either.
“I can get dressed and we can go downstairs.”
“Nope. I like you the way you are now.” He reached for his athletic shorts and slipped them on with his underwear, then went to the bed and sat with his back against the headboard, his hand out for her to join him.
“I like wearing your shirt.”
“Take it with you. I’ve got enough of them. I like the idea of you sleeping in it at night if I’m not there with you.”
She snuggled closer beneath his arm, her hand finding his thigh. Her fingers traced slow, lazy circles that sent his focus scattering in every direction but the one it needed to be.
He wasn’t sure if she meant to stall the conversation or if the touch was instinct for comfort or distraction, maybe both.
Either way, it was working.
He covered her hand with his, firm but gentle, holding it still.
“Sorry,” she murmured. “When we’re close and alone I just can’t help myself.”
“I like that. But if you keep doing it, I won’t hear a damn word you’re going to say and I’d like to.”
Her head went against his chest. “Billy got there early. I texted last night and asked if he could so we could talk. He didn’t ask me about what, just said yes.”
“Is that normal?”
She shrugged. “We didn’t have the best communication. Maybe he didn’t want to know as much as I didn’t want to do it then. There is some guilt that I took the easy way. By doing it with Gracie close by and Julie on the way, I knew he’d have to control his reaction more.”
“Don’t feel guilt for being instinctive. You’ve been through a lot with him and then more even after you split. Add the last month or so. It’s understandable to be that way.”
“Thank you for understanding. I think he might have thought I was going to give him an update on things, but he never even asked. Not even when Julie did later on. I’m thinking to myself—does he even care if I’m being threatened?”
His fingers itched to curl into a fist, but he stopped the movement. He didn’t need her to veer off course or even worry he was getting upset.
“I care. You know that, don’t you?”
“Absolutely. Then I told myself that is more important to me. And because I know you do and I care about you, that is why I was taking this step. He’s accused me of trying to make trouble for his and Tina’s relationship before. As if I’m jealous.”
He snorted. “What’s he delusional?”
“I thought so. I just blurted it out that I was dating someone. He was shocked. As if he didn’t believe it for one minute because he and I didn’t have that great of sex life. Then it hit him and he got pissed and asked if Gracie had met you.”
“And he thinks I should have to go through the same hoops as Tina?”
She sighed. “That’s it right there. But I pointed out that I’m not the one with the violent past. I’m not the one who our daughter is afraid of.”
“Which he wouldn’t want to hear.”
“No. But before I left, Gracie ran to give him a hug. She was happy to see him.”
There went his fist again. For a different reason this time.
Maybe he didn’t want the little girl to get close to her father again. Not if the man could talk to and treat his ex-wife the way he was.
Blaze knew the time would come where he’d have words with the guy. It was why he offered to meet him.
Arden had been quick to say it wasn’t necessary.
“That’s good.”
“It pains you to say it. I know. Maybe I wasn’t so thrilled to see it, but then I got thinking, this is part of it.
I want her to have a normal life and having court appointed supervision with her father isn’t normal.
What she has when she’s with you…that is.
Maybe she’s seeing that and wants it with him. ”
“You’re trying to make me feel better, but don’t do that. It’s not about me. It’s about you. Tell me what else was said.”
“Not much.”
“Don’t lie, Arden. Your body gave you away with the way you just stiffened. Nothing will make me mad. You’re in a situation you’re trying to control but don’t have all the tools to do it. None of us do.”
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes.
“He made a comment about me doing what we just did. If I’m doing it in front of Gracie.
I explained I hadn’t even touched you in front of her.
You’re just a friend of mine now in her eyes.
I reminded him that he and I didn’t even kiss or touch in front of Gracie. ”
“Always?” he asked. Maybe she wasn’t a touchy type of person when he was and it was hard for him to hold that back with someone he was losing his heart to.
“No. Early in our marriage things were different. Until they weren’t.”
There was no reason to explain more. No reason to hash old news.
“Then what happened?”
“We had a few more words, but nothing loud. Gracie didn’t even look up from the movie she was watching in the car.
Julie pulled in and I told her about you.
She backed me and said it didn’t need to be shared with the courts.
I even said who you were, your family and who they were. Billy had no words to that.”
He grinned, but she couldn’t see it. “Except for Clay, we are all pillars of the community. Even Ash now that he’s calmed down.”
Ash’s biggest issue was having fun and not taking a lot seriously. Maybe going out partying and being seen with a lot of women.
Clay, he was just mean in many people’s eyes. Not to them, but many were still fearful.
His brother was in a better place in his life, but it was hard to wipe out people’s opinions in small towns.
“Julie asked about any updates on what was going on. I told her what I knew, which wasn’t much. Told her that the hospital was taking it seriously and I was taking all the precautions I could.”
“Being smart.”
“I am. I should be scared. There are parts of me that are, but I’m trying not to let it overrun my life. I’m glad it’s been quiet and I hope it continues. Now my biggest worry is meeting your family tomorrow.”
He’d told his mother about Arden a few days ago. He didn’t think he could keep it a secret anymore.
Did he get a bit of a tongue lashing for hiding it when Ford, Clay and Ash knew? Yeah, he did. Right there with Gale when she found out.
But tomorrow he was bringing Gracie and Arden to the farm, letting her run around some, go into the cafe, see the kitchens, and have some fun.
He was still going to be Dr. Blaze in the little girl’s eyes for another day, he was positive. And maybe it was for the best.
“There is no reason to be worried. My family is great. If anything, you’ll get to see how we all argue and bust on each other. Another side of me I don’t show many.”
“I think it will be nice to see. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Then why are you nervous?”
“Because I haven’t met a man’s family in almost a decade.”
“You never talk about Billy’s family. Are they around?”
“His parents live in Round Lake. They’ve got a small house on the water. I don’t think they liked me that much and they kept their distance. They have a strained relationship with Billy because of his addiction.”
“So they don’t even see their grandchild?”
“On holidays they did, but right now with the way things have been with the court appointed visits, they don’t want to be involved in it. We’ll have to see how the holidays are this year. We haven’t crossed that bridge yet. Things went downhill right after Christmas last year.”
He didn’t need to ask more.
“There is time yet for it,” he said.
“That’s my feeling. Each visit seems to get Gracie closer and maybe once Billy sees I’m settling in, he’ll calm more and focus on him and Gracie.”
He wasn’t so sure of that. “One can hope.”
She laughed as if she knew he didn’t believe the words he’d said. “Tell me about your siblings’ names. You made a comment about it before and I never found out why. They are all on the uncommon side, but there is a theme?”
He knew when a topic was being put to bed and he’d honor it... for now.
“My father’s family has had the orchard for generations. My mother, she was with my father since her teens. She always knew what her life would be and how it’d turn out with him. My father loves the land. My mother loved anything my father did, but it’s never been all about him either.”
“That’s very sweet.”
He found that funny because most wouldn’t look at his parents and think they were sweet and sentimental.
They’d say Callum and Brooke Ridgeway were solid. They were a unit.
They raised five tough kids to be hard workers in their own right.
“I suppose so. So there is a love for the land and the elements and that is what all our names mean.”
“Clay is like dirt?”
He laughed. “Don’t say that to him. It’s earth.
Ford is water, like a river crossing. Me, I’m the sun, not the fire.
That’s Ash. The remains of the fire. Gale, she’s the wind.
When you put us together, you get the seasons.
You get a rotation of the earth, what it needs from birth to death, growth. That type of thing.”
“Wow,” she said. “That’s like... crazy poetic. And very touching.”
“That’s the thing about my family. On the outside you don’t see those things. But inside, our names are who we are. Better together to help build and repair, nurture and grow. That’s what they were trying to do.”
“It sounds as if they succeeded.”