6. COLDIS
6
COLDIS
Hyran was easy to level, easier than any Guardian Col had ever worked with, and when it was done, the realization settled in. He’s imprinted on me, that’s why it’s so easy. But he’s not family. I don’t know him.
They spent maybe another two hours in that room in the clinic, not talking or doing much of anything, mostly because Col had dozed off for most of that time. Col knew he needed it, could tell how sluggish his thinking still was. However, being able to recognize that about himself, he took it as a sign that he was getting better.
Eventually, the day started with creamy colors seeping into the sky outside. Hyran’s hair shone like polished copper in the morning light that came in through the windows as they adjusted their level of opacity. Col remembered the battle at Starlit Stage, remembered looking into those eyes after he had fallen, after Hyran had caught him.
“Did I really just hit your shoulder and get a concussion from that?”
Hyran turned, shaken out of his own thoughts. “You mean when I caught you?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah. But I was moving. You hit me when I’m moving, it feels like you’re hitting a wall. I can usually mitigate it, but there wasn’t a lot of room there to catch you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry that’s the first thing that ever happened between us.”
Col smiled. “The first thing that happened was you took my screen.”
“Ah, right. I did additional schooling in data analysis as well. I wanted to get a look at the AI that was uploaded.”
“Because you thought we just made it up?”
Hyran shrugged and looked at the sunrise. “Hmm.”
Col pulled his legs up under the sheets, which had Hyran shifting slightly to give him room. “I suppose that wasn’t a bad call. And you saved my life. I actually thought I was going to die. I owe you gratitude.”
“You owe me nothing, Coldis,” Hyran said, but he smiled back at Col.
He is good-looking. That I can’t deny. Also brought me sorono hummus. I’ll have to ask Taros to hold off on the murder pact for a little while at least.
Hyran turned on the spot on the bed he hadn’t moved from all morning until he was facing Col. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why did you leave Argentea? You didn’t really have a reason to. Your team is competent from what I could find out, and they had our team with them for additional support. Your Guardian Mirol is even a shooter. There was no reason for you to go with them.”
Col shifted, pulled his legs up higher. He was biting his nail before he even realized and made himself stop.
“Orrey and Senlas overheard Alesa Yun and some unknown female-sounding person talk in an empty building at night during Covenant Week. It was concerning. Alesa has…always wanted to be closer to me than I was entirely comfortable with.”
“What did he do?”
Hyran reached for Col’s hand, and Col let him. The Guardian outwardly kept calm, but Col saw the shift in his eyes, felt the strength in the hand that took his.
“Nothing much. Nothing that matters now that we have him at the Judiciary. I’m looking forward to a conversation with him though.”
Hyran’s nostrils flared, and tiny lines around his mouth stood out as he clenched his jaw. “You’re not talking to him. Why would you want to talk to him? That is what psionomancers are for, Coldis.”
“I have questions I want to ask him, that’s why.”
“But Coldis—”
After a series of sharp knocks on the door that Col recognized, it slid open and Taros walked in with Vin behind him. Hyran’s grip only tightened further.
“Guardians Taros and Vin.” Hyran greeted them with a forced nod.
“Checking in on you,” Vin said and locked eyes with Col.
The message was clear. They were asking what to do, what needed to be done. Vin’s probably armed. I wonder whether he stole a knife from the butler bot.
“There’s also a protector outside who says she’s supposed to make sure we have everything we want. She brought coffee.” Taros held up a large takeout mug, calmly walked toward the bed, and handed it over to Col.
Hyran watched the exchange. He was tense. For now, he kept quiet.
Col was actually relieved. He’d not had as much coffee as he normally would since they’d come here, and he was missing Senlas’s coffee in particular. The mug said this came from a place called The Ferrean Roastery , and Col wondered whether the protector had gotten it on the Grounds or brought it in from the regular side. To think there are protectors in the Grounds right now…
“Thank you, Taros. Could you get something for Hyran as well?”
Hyran’s head swiveled, and he looked at Col as if he’d offered him a kiss.
I have to remember he just imprinted. I might have already messed this up beyond easy repair. He has custody-ship now.
Taros rolled his eyes, most of it play-acting. “The protector brought a selection. She’s cute, in that protector way. Bit like Orrey.”
“She has something with spiced grain milk. Let me get the lot,” Vin said, and with a tiny nod to Col, went back to the door and poked his head out. “Hey, first rank, hand me that.”
“Absolutely, Guardian Vin,” said a young-sounding voice that—in its snappiness—indeed reminded Col of Orrey.
Col took a sip of coffee, relieved that it was good, not Senny’s, but good. “What do I need to know?” he asked as Vin put the drinks on the table on which Hyran had gathered the remaining food.
Vin frowned and lifted the container with the sorono. It was still half full. “The fuck is wrong with you? The nurse bot said most of the concussion symptoms should have cleared up by now.”
Col shrugged. “I wasn’t that hungry.”
“Hyperdecarin messes with your appetite,” Hyran said. “And they gave Coldis a high dose.”
Vin examined Hyran with one of his more dissecting stares. “And how do you know that?”
Hyran shrugged. “I’m fast. When you learn how to handle your own speed, sometimes you run into things, and tripping can mess you up really bad.”
Taros crossed his arms, and Col noticed the tiny blades spiking up around his eyes. “So you heal fast as well, huh.”
“I suppose.”
Col cleared his throat. “I was just in the process of thanking Hyran for saving my life.”
It took to the count of three, but Vin caved first, handing Hyran a drink. “Thank you for saving Col. We really need him. This team doesn’t work well without its team lead.”
So much for a simple thank you.
Hyran took the offered coffee. “I should thank you for bringing that up, Guardian Vin. We didn’t get a chance to talk about this yet, but, Coldis, I just wanted you to know I don’t intend on making you give up your position. I know you were assigned hospitality agents, two of their top people.” He looked at all three of them. “Have they succeeded?”
“Succeeded in what, dying?” Vin asked, dryly.
Hyran’s jaw dropped. It hit Col similarly. He’d not been following events well, but he did remember Toso going outside just before the attack. And after, he couldn’t recall seeing her again, though Lapatea had been with Orrey and Senlas.
“Explain,” he said to Vin. “And update me.”
Vin did, just like Col had trained him. “Toso died right when the attack started, at least that’s what we figure. We’re still not sure exactly how many are dead because that one pyromancer, the one who burned Karmine, incinerated some of the bodies.
“Yamara is with us now. Your office AI got the forms ready, and Sen signed as your proxy. Lapatea spent the night at the suite. Not sure what that is about, but he’s been keeping Karmine calm.” Taros’s head whipped around, telling Col that Vin had only noticed Karmine’s distress because of his powers.
Vin went on. “Rasev has been sending updates to your screen.”
“My screen?”
Vin pulled it from his pocket. “Basically, our Op-AI is taking over, but the Ferrean Municipal AI is handling some of it as well. I think there’s a good amount of friction there. Auto-drives are a mess, and some of the building AIs have been refusing to let Conduits out without a security bot accompanying them. Most have decided not to let anyone but residents in. It’s a bit of a hassle. Shoda’s been helpful.”
“That pagomancer?” Coldis asked. He only had faint memories of the Guardian, but he could tell his memory of everything after he’d hurt his head wasn’t perfect by any means.
“He could have been an Inter-City Champion by now but refused to leave his team behind,” Hyran said.
Taros clucked his tongue. “You like watching Guardian Games?”
“Not really. One of my moms does, and when I get good tickets, we always go.”
“I know what that’s like,” Taros said. “Also, if that’s what you wanted to know about the hospitality agents’ mission, we’re not moving here.” He looked at Col. “Are we?”
Col shook his head. “No, but I think I have to stay and help the Op-AI, at least for a while until things go back to normal.”
“Then I’ll stay too,” Taros said, crossing his arms.
Vin pulled up a chair, sliding it across the floor with as much noise as he could. “Municipal and our Op-AI better figure this out fast. When I walked in here this morning, there was a Conduit shouting and screaming at an auto-drive. Wouldn’t open for her, and she was on her way home after a long shift channeling Guardians after Starlit Stage. Two minutes later, the Municipal AI sent her an auto-drive from outside the Grounds, and she just stared at the thing as if it was going to eat her. ‘It’s like the protectors my spouses tell me patrol our streets now,’ she said to me.”
Col rubbed his head. The bandage was starting to feel itchy. “Well, neither are going to eat anyone, but I can see why that’s going to become a problem, especially in Ferrea. Vinnie, get me the physician.”
“On it.” Vin stood and left the room, no doubt aiming to harass a nurse bot until a suitable physician was found.
Hyran leaned in, a strand of his red hair falling over his shoulder. “Coldis, there isn’t anything you can do about any of that. What you can do—should do—is rest up and heal.”
“I’d like to see about that instead of assuming, Hyran. And I’ll take it slowly. Does that satisfy your protective urges?”
“This isn’t a joking matter,” Hyran said. “And it’s not protective urges. I just…”
“You just have no sense of humor,” Taros shot back.
They had a small staring contest, only Taros’s face grew sharper and sharper, the panoplian’s display less a threat and more a promise.
“That’s enough, Taros, thank you. I think Hyran understands.”
Taros made an annoyed little sound, running two blade-shaped fingers against each other. “Col. You said you didn’t like him.”
It was those words that had Hyran back down, his shoulders curling inward. He let go of Col’s hand. No, he isn’t backing down. He’s deflating.
And maybe it was the fresh memory of how Durgo and Linar had interacted, loveless and at odds that had Col deflate as well. At least during the night, Hyran had done not the tiniest thing that Col could object to, even if he tried. He offered to get me Karmine, and I got angry. I was definitely a mess.
To Taros, Col said, “Can you wait outside? I’d like a word with Hyran.”
Taros gave Col a look that asked, Are you sure? and Col nodded.
Taros left without a word, letting the door slide shut behind him with a thud.
“I was in the middle of thanking you for saving my life,” Col began.
“I…yes. I would do it again, even with foreknowledge. Every time. I’d save you every time.”
The fog in his head had cleared, or at least it seemed like that to Col. “You were asking about whether the hospitality agents had managed to convince us to move here.”
Hyran shrugged. “Ferrea is nice. I mean, it will be again. Obviously, this situation with the Op-AI having died and with Conduits not sure how to get home isn’t acceptable, but it’s temporary. I like living here. I’m biased, of course, but the Grounds are really big, we have lots of parks and things to do and explore. Excellent restaurants, and there are always drama tours. The actors stay in character, and you can basically experience the world for a few hours. Not right now. But they’ll do the tours again, I’m sure.”
Col imagined Vin doing a drama tour and getting onto the set for My Secret Guardian as an observer of the latest sex scene. He chuckled. Hyran gave him a curious look.
“It’s…nothing. I was being silly. Vin has become an ardent viewer of My Secret Guardian , and I’m afraid he might puppeteer the actors into giving him a private show if production fails. Having said that, we’re not moving to Ferrea. At least my team isn’t. I know that you decide the place I get to call home.” Col bit his bottom lip but stopped before the gesture became all too obvious.
Hyran chuckled. “You’d think that. One of my moms called me late last night. I think I’ll be in a lot of trouble if I have you move here against your wishes. And I heard you when you said they are family to you. Your team, I mean.”
“Hmm, I want to meet that woman. She deserves my thanks.”
“Oh, you’ll get the chance. But I wouldn’t have made you do anything you didn’t want even without her telling me to, Coldis. That’s what I was trying to say before. I watched—no. Actually, let me tell you when I decided what I would do if I ever imprinted.
“I live in the same building as Durgo and Linar and Undora. Undora was always alone. She’d come home late on those days Linar didn’t have plans to see her. Maybe Undora didn’t want to come home to a lonely place, maybe she didn’t want to miss her lover or wait and hope that Linar was free after all.
“I was outside the walls late one day, checking road infrastructure after a storm. I ran into Undora outside our building, and she had the saddest portion of insta food in hand that I had ever seen. Follow my words, that stew looked disgusting, and the worst part was that it wasn’t supposed to be stew but folded pancakes with vegetables and sauce.
“I’d just done some shopping because I was craving mixed grains with kappa root and mushroom sauce, and I asked whether I could cook for her. I think I said something about how cooking for more than one felt less tedious at the end of a long day.
“She said yes, said she was fine joining me in my apartment.
“I don’t even know how we started talking about her and Linar. ‘I would let her go, if she’d let me,’ Undora said. ‘If Durgo were enough.’
“She told me all about how she’d thought about moving to another city, but how that would leave Linar all alone. But it wasn’t just that. Undora told me that from the conversations she’d had with Linar, it seemed to her as if, over the years, Durgo had started hating Linar for not being able to love him. She said she got the sense that neither he nor Linar had really realized that. And she also said that Durgo was a good person deserving of someone to love him. That just wasn’t what he got when he imprinted.”
Hyran had a distant look on his face. He was staring out the window, watching the few clouds that hung in the morning sky like tattered shrouds.
Col looked away from Hyran and at his own hands, thinking about his training. Imprinted Guardians love unconditionally, sometimes to the point of pain, one instructor had said once. Do not let them hurt.
“It sounds like you’re blaming Linar,” Col said.
Hyran shook his head. “Then I’m telling it wrong. I probably am. It was a long night. You know Linar, know that she’s strong. Did she ever tell you how she and Durgo reached the arrangement they had?”
“I asked, but she veered off the topic and gave non-answers, so I let it be.”
Hyran nodded. “Well, Undora told me. Linar was in the admin department at the G&C Center, but she started out in system maintenance, setting up offices and maintaining network infrastructure, scrubbing office AIs and such. She worked in the Center a lot but would go out to other offices if needed. Lots of Guardians there she interreacted with. When Durgo imprinted, she’d just started the system maintenance job, and according to Undora, Linar loved her work.
“Durgo requested her reassignment the same day he imprinted. Didn’t even ask her. When Undora told me, I remember thinking how hurtful that must have been toward Linar, and I swore I wouldn’t ever do it if the same happened to me. That’s what I wanted to get at. That day when I cooked dinner for Undora, I swore to myself that I’d never let my Conduit become as unhappy as she was if I was ever lucky enough to imprint.
“And I won’t. But I have to say, when you called for Guardian Mirol upon waking last night, having you removed from your position as team lead sounded wonderful. I won’t do it, but I just need you to understand the need is inside me. The need to protect you, but also to keep you to myself. I don’t understand it because there’s no logic to it, and I won’t succumb to hurting you in any way, but it’s like not using my speed for days and days. It’s an itch I can’t scratch, but I want to, very badly.” He sighed. “I’m moving to Argentea with you.”
Col really saw Hyran then. Not just the green eyes, rare and stunning, but a Guardian in control of his emotions. Senny could barely take his hands off Orrey that first day. Hyran was relatively calm with other Guardians in the room just now.
“You’re a good one, aren’t you? Like the ideal Guardian. Like Wilan.”
Hyran smiled at Col shyly. It suited him. “I don’t know about that but follow my words: We are like a system of two suns, you and I, and I don’t want to rob you of your gravity.”
Col broke out into laughter. “Did you take the whole night to come up with that?”
“No. I read poetry. It’s from a poem.”
“Ah. Are you going to make me read poetry too?”
There was a twinkle in Hyran’s eye, a trace of genuine amusement. “There are classes. I think I’ll sign you up for classes, Coldis. Maybe we can go together and write poems for each other.”
“Call me Col. It’s what my team calls me.”
“Your family.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I…will you tell me whether you are intimate with them?”
Col sighed and rubbed his face. “We’re not that kind of family. Senny and I grew up together. Karmine and I never really felt like we should even try. I have sex with Taros and sometimes with Vin, but it’s about physical comfort and convenience. Neither are in love with me, and I’m not in love with them either.”
“Taros. And Vin. The two of them were just in here.” Hyran’s mood sagged again.
“And now they’re not. They’re here because Karmine is still recovering and because Senny wouldn’t make Orrey spend a night at the clinic to wait outside my door.”
“You say that. I believe you. It’s still difficult.”
Col could only imagine. That Hyran acknowledged as much and wasn’t reacting blindly meant a lot. Saving me again, just in a different way.
“You mean it, Hyran? About moving to Argentea? You’re not going to pull me from my team?”
Hyran shook his head. “I won’t do that. I’ll move. I don’t ever want you to hate me. And I really don’t want you to call me a Hound-fucker again.”
“I called you that?”
Hyran glanced away before meeting Col’s eyes again. “I asked whether you loved Guardian Mirol. You said of course you did and then called me an insensitive Hound-fucker.”
“Oh. Well, I probably meant it at the time.”
“Not now?”
Col sighed. “No, not now. Please remember that I do have a concussion. I was not myself entirely.”
“I don’t blame you, Col. I’m glad.”
The door opened and a young-looking physician with wide eyes walked in, followed by Vin.
“Make sure we can take him back with us,” Vin said and pointed at Col.