Chapter 35 Aerin
AERIN
“Aerin?”
Mom’s voice trickles through to me from somewhere to my left and I open my eyes.
Where…am I?
It’s dark outside. The curtains are drawn but not all the way, and warmth envelops me with a weight that should be satisfying, but it just feels smothering. Jolting upright, sudden pain pulls through my skull like my brain is swelling and there’s not enough space for it to breathe.
“Ow.” I groan and screw up my eyes, pressing one hand to my temple.
“Easy,” Mom says. “Take it slow.”
“What happened?”
“You fainted. Or collapsed is a better term.”
“Huh?” Cautiously, I open my eyes as the pounding in my skull gradually fades. More details come into focus, from the knitted bedspread to the dresser weighed down by countless carved animal figures.
Mom’s room?
“Do you remember?” Her face swims into view but where I expect her expression to match the softness in her voice, her face is absent anything but anger.
“No…”
“You came bursting into the conservatory and collapsed right in front of me. Gave me a damn heart attack.”
“I’m sorry,” I groan. “Maybe it was something I ate.”
“Something you ate?” She scoffs sharply and pulls her hand from mine, standing abruptly. “It wasn’t something you ate.”
“How do you know?”
Mom paces away from her and winds her arms around her middle. “Because in the hours you were out, the doctor examined you.”
The edge in her voice catches my attention and I lift my gaze to meet hers, my heart racing. “Is there something wrong with me?”
“You could say that,” she scoffs and quickly buries her face in her palm. “How could you do this to me, Aerin?”
Confusion mingles in my gut and I frown, still massaging my temple. “What are you talking about?” As things come back to me, Falco’s face fills my mind followed by a piercing sharp pain in my chest that draws a gasp from my lips.
He pushed me away.
Broke my heart so suddenly. With no warning. Last night things were perfect.
Today I woke up in hell.
“Am I sick?”
“Sick?” Mom’s voice rises. “You’re pregnant, Aerin! Pregnant! You fainted because of low iron and stress. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”
Falco fades from my thoughts. In fact everything does as my mind goes blank while I stare at her. Then, slowly, laughter ripples through me. “Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t be!”
“You are! Aerin, you stupid, reckless girl. What is wrong with you? You can’t tell me you thought this was something you could hide!”
“I’m not pregnant!” I continue to laugh as the notion is just too ridiculous. There’s no way I can be pregnant because…
Because…
We never used protection. I was never on any contraception. Shit.
My laughter trails off like the whistle of a kettle and I swallow hard. “I can’t be pregnant,” I whisper.
Not like this. Not after I’ve fallen for a man I can’t be with, a man who suddenly doesn’t want me anymore because peace apparently made me unattractive. I can’t have his baby.
I place my hand over my belly and stare down, caught between the ache in my skull and the sickness in my gut.
“You stupid girl,” Mom continues. “Not only have you broken your vow, but you’ve betrayed your father and me. How could you? Do you know what this will do to us?” Suddenly she’s back at my bedside and clutching my hand. “Who is the father?”
I swallow around a growing lump in my throat and glance up at her. “No one.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Aerin. Babies don’t spawn. Who was it? One of your friends? A guard? Who?” Her voice grows shrill. “How much shame have you brought upon me?”
I can’t think.
One minute, I’m in love and free, the next it’s like my insides are tearing themselves apart, I’m pregnant and I’m alone.
“Aerin!” She grabs my arms and shakes me, trying to draw me out of my thoughts. “Who is the father?”
I blink and a tear rolls down my cheek. “No one,” I whisper.
“Don’t lie to me,” she hisses. “I will find out. I’ll have the doctor take a DNA test when you’re getting the abortion and I’ll test every single person you ever come in contact with.”
“What? I’m not getting an abortion!”
“Don’t tell me you want to keep it?”
I shake my head as the swelling sensation grows. “I… I don’t know! You just told me, how can I decide something like that instantly?”
“It doesn’t matter. I won’t allow you to have it.”
“Allow me?” Anger very quickly overrides my shock and I push her away, throwing the covers back and easing out of bed. “I missed where this was your decision.”
“You’re a Paramatti, Aerin. It’s always my decision.”
“No! I need to think, I need to find…” Falco.
I need to find him.
Do I tell him?
Fuck.
“Listen here, you little—”
“Ma’am?” The door suddenly swings open and Mom’s personal guard walks in. “Your husband will be late tonight, he’s had a breakthrough.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Mom groans. Hearing her curse would be amusing if I wasn’t struggling to get all my thoughts in a line and understand how this is happening. “What now?”
“Apparently, a guard, Falco Tierney? He’s been caught with the missing drugs.”
“Falco?” My head snaps up and I bolt to my feet. “What are you talking about?”
“Uh…” The guard glances between the two of us. “All I know is your brother caught him in a warehouse with several cases of product that’s been going missing these past few months. Apparently, Giacomo caught him and after a fight earned a confession.”
“A confession?” Mom cuts in. “What confession?”
“He’d been casing the family this entire time. He was only loyal to himself, as expected of an ex-military, some would say. He’d been planning some sort of final heist and Giacomo caught wind of it. Apparently, he…he’s also confessed to trying to kill you, Aerin.”
“What?” Mom surges upward. “That bastard? All this time?”
No.
No, this isn’t right.
I know Falco.
He’s been my shadow for months. There’s no way in hell he had time to steal cases of drugs, nor the means to hide it all considering how alone he is. And trying to kill me? As soon as those words leave that guard’s mouth, I know they’re a lie.
If Falco wanted me dead, I would be dead.
He wouldn’t have risked his own life, or Pidge’s, if I was his target.
“Stay here,” Mom demands. “I’ll be right back.” She storms out of the room with her guard in tow, demanding to know who hired Falco in the first place, and I’m left to the silence of the room.
After a second, I pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.
Falco wouldn’t steal. He wouldn’t try to harm me.
But my brother caught him? Sinking down onto the bed, all thoughts of pregnancy escape my thoughts as I think back to my last conversation with Falco.
“I was hired to protect you. Not to want you. Not to love you.”
“Not to love you.”
Love me.
Does he…love me? Or am I trying to trick myself and justify this sudden chaotic turn of events? Everything since this morning hasn’t made sense, from Falco’s attitude to this sudden confession of drug theft and attempted murder.
Think, Aerin. Think.
This isn’t right.
What would Falco do in this situation? What would Pidge do?
My thoughts stumble over one another until one thing becomes clear, and I rush from my mom’s room, sprinting as fast as I dare with a pounding headache all the way back to my own room. Crashing through the door, I lunge across the bed and snatch up my phone.
I don’t know what either of them would do.
But I know what I’m going to do.
Rex, thankfully, answers on the second ring. “Rex? It’s Aerin. Sorry to call you on this number but it’s an emergency!”