Chapter 20 #2
“My ex convinced me that night to open our relationship. Drunk me thought it sounded like a fun and sexy idea. I wanted to do whatever I could to make him happy. The thought of him with other women hadn’t crossed my mind.
I just thought he wanted to watch me with other men…
with the new friends we brought back. Maybe a one-time thing because we were having such a fun day.
When he offered me another drink to help me loosen up, I accepted it.
I trusted him. I came on to the guys thinking it was what he wanted me to do.
I kissed them both. I put on the best damn show that I could just to make him happy.
And that was the last thing I remembered until… ”
Fuck. My chest hurt. It felt like the world was closing in on me, keeping the truth lodged in my throat with no way out.
I shook my head, trying to ward off the feelings from that time in my life coming back to haunt me.
“Deep breath, Avery.” His rough voice soothed me.
One … Two … Three …
With each count, I took a breath.
When I told him the most pressing detail, I needed to look in his eyes, no matter how hard it would be. I had to be able to read his expressions. So, I lifted my head from his chest, turned my body to face him, and straddled his legs, holding our bodies close.
Any other time, this position would rock my world, but in this moment, it was the way I could be closest to him. I could look into his eyes and feel his arms wrapped around me.
My hands roamed up his chest and a pang of hurt shot through me as I wondered what it would be like to have to go back to the life I was living before I met him. What if he took this part of me from my past and looked at me like I was filthy, and nothing like the girl I’ve shown him I was today?
“Until what, Avery?” he pleaded with me to tell him more.
“Until Valentine’s Day.” I tugged on my lip before allowing more to rise to the surface.
“I went out to buy something new to wear. Something to spice up our night. I was on my way home when one of the guys from that night sent me a link. I never even remembered giving him my phone number. He was practically a stranger. Sure enough, it was me—and the two men from that night. I remember having that last drink. I remember having a little bit of fun. But I didn’t remember anything that I saw in that video.
The worst part was … Jax was the camera man and director.
He was telling them everything to do to me. ”
Fuck her with your fingers. Hold her down and choke her with your cock. She likes it rough.
His voice behind the camera still rang in my head like it was yesterday.
“When I woke up the morning after the video was filmed, we never talked about it. Hence, why I thought it was innocent fun and a one-time thing. My mind was fuzzy, but I figured I’d blacked out from drinking too hard, and there was just some kissing and fooling around.
Nothing like what I actually saw on Valentine’s Day when I stormed home to confront him, only to find him in bed with someone else—” I swallowed the distaste of the memory before adding, “Technically, a few someone else’s. ”
“Jesus Christ, Avery.” His eyes were soft, yet angry at the same time.
He pulled me in close, his hold on me lasting minutes before anything was said at all.
The warmth of his arms wrapped around me gave me the inkling that he wasn’t going anywhere.
He wasn’t judging me, and he wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.
“Please tell me how this video of you ties back to your work and ex-boyfriend.” Spencer broke the silence through a clenched jaw.
“He said he’d have it taken down after I get him five hundred thousand dollars.” Truly, I had no idea how it could be taken down everywhere. It was on the internet, and everyone knew when something was posted on the internet, it was there forever.
“The morning after it all went down, I vaguely remember Jax recording. The extent of it was buried somewhere in my memory. But I’d never asked to see it.
I felt disgusted about him wanting to see me with someone else—whether it was just kissing or more.
I assumed I acted as if I enjoyed every minute, knowing deep down that could never be true.
I couldn’t tell you if he ever planned to tell me if he posted that video or not.
But when I confronted him, he turned into a person I never knew he had the ability of being.
First, he was cheating on me. We hadn’t ever talked about him being with someone like we talked about me being with someone on that one stupid night.
And then, all of a sudden, he was blackmailing me out of nowhere the moment I pulled the plug on our relationship.
He said he had debts to pay, and whether that was the truth or not, I went into desperation mode. ”
I was desperate to have the video taken down.
So desperate, I was willing to find the quickest route to that amount of money.
The idea of beginning a new life—the reason we’d moved here in the first place—was for a fresh start.
How the hell was I supposed to get a good job down the line with something like that lingering over my head that could pop up at any time?
Talk about an HR nightmare.
Spencer’s hands left my hips and ran over his face. He sighed into his palms and instantly, my mood changed.
“I-I’m sorry. I know it’s too much—”
“No, no. Avery, don’t even think that for a second. Nothing about you is too much. I’m just thankful that you’re sitting on my lap right now, because if you weren’t, I’d already be down the elevator and on the hunt for this guy to kick his ass.”
“Trust me, he’s not worth it,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Please tell me why you decided to work off his debt instead of getting the police involved?”
“It just seemed like the easier route to go. I don’t have parents I can go to; I don’t know the right people, and it all would have cost me money I didn’t have anyway. I didn’t want to have to deal with talking about this to people.”
It was always easier to bury my problems. Especially one this humiliating.
“We’re going to figure this out.” He placed his hands over mine.
“We?”
“Yes, we. I like you, Avery, how many times do I have to tell you that?” He brought his forehead to rest against mine; our lips sat so close that our breath intertwined.
“I guess I’ve just never had anyone like me in the ways you like me.”
“There is something I want to ask you, and I don’t want it to come off the wrong way.”
“Okay…” I lifted my head from his forehead, creating space between us.
“Would you want to give this thing between us a chance?”
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since the moment I met him. Of course, I wanted to give in. I liked him … and that scared the shit out of me.
“More than anything, but—”
“What do you think about quitting this work your ex has made you feel like you need to do, and letting me handle it all?”
“Handle?” My heart sped up. Something about that word sounded like a dark cloud. Mysterious and ominous.
“Tell me the exact amount you need to pay this guy off—down to the penny—let me know where I can find this video and let me handle the dirty work.”
“Spencer, I can’t give you that link. I can’t let you see me like that.” I shook my head.
“Avery, I don’t want to watch the video.
The last thing I want is to see it. If I looked at it, I wouldn’t be able to control myself from tracking the men down who touched you and ripping their fucking heads off.
I’m a goddamn multi-millionaire, and I know people in high places.
I will have the internet scrubbed. I will make sure that video doesn’t exist. I will pay off your ex and make sure he will never be a part of your life again.
All I want from you is a date. I want your time, I want you in my bed, I want you to be mine. ”
“Spence…”
“I need you to want me too, though. I won’t do all those things unless you give me your permission. The last thing I want is for you to think I’m trying to disrespect you and pay you off. You’re not an object that can be paid for, Avery. You’re a fucking prize.”
A prize.
That word alone stole my breath. Never in my life had someone idolized me in such a romantic way.
Spencer was a man of his word. A man who held back because he didn’t want me to feel used.
He refused to pay for me like everyone else had—sexually.
He wanted my time. My mind. My heart. And I so badly wanted to give him all of me.
Telling him all about my ex gutted me. Reminiscing on such a shitty ending to a relationship that I held so close to my heart, and a man I once compared to God himself, fucking crushed me.
I never thought I was worthy of finding someone like Spencer.
Someone who was offering me an out, simply because he liked me.
“I want you, Spencer, badly.” My voice shifted from soft and sad, to seductive and serious.
“I don’t mean like that—” he attempted to stop me from lowering to the ground before I cut him off.
“I know. I’m aware. But it’s my turn to show you. To please you. You had your way with me in the bathroom, and now it’s my turn. I’ve been going crazy thinking about what this cock looks like.” I grinded my hips over him, already feeling his length growing beneath me.
Too eager to wait for his answer, I watched his chest rise and fall as I slipped down to my knees.
I hadn’t been with a man on my own accord in so long. It was my turn to take back control of my sex life. I was craving this man in ways I hadn’t felt in so long, and he wanted me back—he’d shown me time after time.
He was giving me the opportunity to throw my current life out the window and truly start fresh. The opportunity to take what I wanted sat right in front of me, and I was so fucking tired of turning down the things I dreamed about because of the dark cloud lingering over my head.
It was time to let some sunshine seep through the darkness, and give myself the life I’d always wanted, but couldn’t admit it was what I deserved.