Chapter 17 #3
His words warm my heart, not the part about a possible orchiectomy, but the other part. Freya’s one of those rare people who comes into your life to stay.
“How can I explain everything to her when it’s not my story to tell?” I whisper, hating myself that I still think about Justin’s comfort. Plus, I respect Alicia’s privacy, even if she was a total bitch to me, which is why I still keep it quiet.
He touches my elbow lightly. “It is as much yours as theirs. Justin made sure of that.”
I lift my eyes to him. “Thank you, Alex,” I whisper.
He pulls me into his broad, solid chest and wraps his tree-trunk arms around me.
His presence is like a brother’s hug that I’ve never experienced in my life.
Strong and reliable. And I can’t help myself.
I start crying. Heavy sobs convulse through my body while he holds me tight.
When I finally calm down—one or ten minutes later—he says into my hair, “I think you should give this town one last chance.”
I sniff loudly into his tear-soaked shirt. “Nmhmh.”
“What was that?” He chuckles, and I finally let him go.
“I said I’m done with this town.” I wipe my face with the back of my hand. “ So done.”
“You still have people here who care about you,” he says earnestly, and just like that, I’m bawling like a toddler again. Heavy tears run down my face.
“C’mon,” he says as he pulls me into a hug again. “Stay. Even just to spite everybody who wants you gone. We’ll back you up. You’re not them , and you’ve never been.” I know he’s referring to my messed-up family. “I never saw you for somebody else’s mistakes. And a lot of others haven’t either.”
“You just stopped thinking I’m guilty of something I didn’t do,” I muffle into his chest.
He gently pulls me off him by my shoulders. “Yeah, and I thought it was your fault. Not connected to your upbringing. Just something you chose to do, you know.” He raises his brows, and I relax. He’s sort of right.
“Okay, I get your point.” I wipe my nose in a very unladylike manner. “I need to talk to Freya and explain to her why I’m a shitty friend.” I dread this conversation. I truly am the worst friend ever.
“You know she loves you, right?” He gently squeezes my shoulder.
“She does?” I ask hopefully, feeling like an unwanted child looking for love—which I am.
“She does. I’m even a little jealous.”
I playfully punch him in the chest. “You should be. I’m about to switch teams and go for her if you don’t pull your head out of your ass and put a ring on that finger.”
“I will. One day. We’re not ready for that yet.
Neither of us are.” His face takes on a dreamy look.
I’m just messing with him; I know they aren’t ready for that yet, but I’m positive they were made for each other.
When I look at them together, I believe in soulmates.
They complement each other and make each other better.
“Well, isn’t this cozy.” A snarky, slightly growly voice inserts itself into our heartwarming, soul-mending conversation. I jump from Alex like we did something wrong .
“Justin,” Alex drawls like he feels something terrible is about to come.
“Alex,” Justin grits. “I need to talk to Kayla.” He shoots me a pointed look. “Alone.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Alex tells him, moving in front of me protectively, hiding me from Justin. I can’t figure out why he does it—it’s Justin, for crying out loud, his best friend.
“I don’t think I asked for your opinion,” Justin growls, taking deliberately slow steps toward us.
Whoa, what? What’s happening here?
I jump in front of Alex and put my hand on his chest, preventing him from boiling over.
Alex has anger problems, and it’s not good to poke the bear.
Freya would beat us all with a pan if we let Alex go off the rails again, right in the middle of his anger management program and PTSD treatment.
He’s been doing so well, and I’m not about to have that thrown away over literally nothing.
Nothing. Because what the ever-loving hell is happening right now?
Justin’s gaze zeros on my palm on Alex’s chest, and his nostrils flare.
“What’s your problem, Justin?” Alex asks in an overly calm voice even though he looks as if he’s about to pounce any second now.
“I need to talk to Kayla. Now.” He sounds constipated, if I may say so.
“Why? What is so important that you must tell her now when we’re in the middle of a conversation?
” I’m about to pinch Alex for aggravating the beast when he tilts his head toward me and winks.
I stop in my tracks, my jaw just about hitting the asphalt.
Then he looks back at Justin. “You’re just gonna regret whatever you’re gonna say now. ”
“And you know exactly what she needs now so well , huh?” Justin cocks his head.
I’m just standing here, watching the weirdest movie of the year unfolding in front of my eyes.
And I don’t even say anything. I don’t even want to say anything to Alex about speaking for me instead of…
well, me. It feels nice for somebody to watch over me.
God knows nobody has ever done that before.
I could ask Alex why he winked at me, but I think I know the answer: he’s just trying to rile Justin up. But why does Justin follow the hook, though? It can’t be jealousy.
To my utter surprise, I’m all in for a show. I step behind Alex, my eyes flickering between him and Justin.
Justin sounds… hostile? Why? I’ve never heard him talk that way to Alex. Even after Alex returned from the service and they were estranged. Alex was always so rude to him, and yet he still took it. Justin never gave up on Alex.
Now I see a Justin I don’t recognize, and that’s saying a lot considering the level of sheer undeserved hate he threw my way the last couple of years.
Alex steps forward. “I’m having a very important talk with Kayla right now. You’ll have to wait. Or better yet, come back tomorrow.” If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s about to chuckle.
I imperceptibly pinch Alex’s side, and he lets out that chuckle he was holding in. It’s gone in an instant.
Justin’s nostrils flare, and something dark passes behind his eyes.
Something I recognize seeing before, years ago, when he was beating Mark on that abandoned gas station pavement.
Determination. Alex is obviously just having fun with him, but for some unexplainable reason, Justin is taking it too seriously.
“I will leave when I want to,” he hisses, his gaze focused on Alex.
He throws me one look, just one, but in that second, I can see it in his eyes that he’s wounded.
Like I did something to hurt or upset him.
“Wanna go at it like old times?” Alex suggests, hope lacing his voice, and I begin to worry.
Alex is bigger and more mountainous than Justin—a combination which, in my mind, means an easy win.
But while I might think he’s more lethal, considering his size and military background, from where I’m standing, the always cheerful and smiley Justin possesses way more danger in an unexpected kind of way.
I think I see the real him now. And Alex sees it too.
He’d seen it already, and I know he knows he’s dangerous.
All the masks he’s been wearing around people are gone, and now, he is what he is, a wild card with a raw intensity.
Who won’t allow anyone to stand in his way to?—
Where exactly to? To me? I’m not worth it, at least not to Justin, and everybody present knows that. Only, it looks as if Alex may have missed the memo because he snakes his hand around my wrist and tugs me deeper behind him. The man is enormous, so I’m entirely hidden behind him.
Now I see what’s happening. Well, at least a little bit.
Justin’s been living with so much guilt on his shoulders that my big revelation probably topped it off completely, and now he doesn’t know how to let his pent-up anger and resentment out.
I get the feeling that Alex knows how to do it.
A good ol’ brawl. Of course. I’d seen Justin getting into fights with Mark around town all the time.
They are balanced opponents, but I bet he hasn’t completely digested the new information that Mark wasn’t at fault.
There’s probably a piece of him in there that knows it wouldn’t be right to cause a scene with him after being wrong for so long.
Alex seems like an evenly matched opponent.
Plus, he’s probably looking to relieve some of his own anger.
Oh no, Freya will kill me .
Somebody growls. Loudly. And it’s not a wild animal. Well, not a four-legged one, at least. What the hell is happening?
“Alex, get the fuck out of here.” Justin’s voice drips with danger.
“No.” Alex shakes his head. “You wanna have a talk? Have it with me.”
“I have nothing to say to you.” He cuts him off.
I pop out from behind Alex’s back in time to see Justin cocking his head.
“Jus, man.” There’s a new warmth in Alex’s voice. I see Justin’s shoulders relax just the tiniest bit. It must have gotten to Justin finally. “It’s not gonna make you feel better. I promise. I’ve been there.”
He looks at me, then at Alex, then back at me. “We need to talk, Kayla.” Justin’s voice is calmer, but there’s still an edge to it.
“Okay, we will.” It’s getting ridiculous. Alex’s game of provoking Justin might turn sideways and bite us all in the butt any second.
I move to go to Justin when Alex grabs my wrist, pulling me back once again. I look up to tell him off, but he’s watching Justin like a hawk. “Alex,” I whisper, trying to get his attention.
When he finally looks at me, he shakes his head lightly, his face grim. “Don’t go, Kayla. Not now. That’s not what he really needs.” Then he adds even quieter, only for my ears. “Let him taste his own medicine.”
There’s something in his eyes I haven’t seen before—concern—and something I’ve been seeing every single day—stubbornness.
I suddenly look back, and there he is, the God of war, stripped of all his weapons but ready for the fight regardless.
Justin’s nostrils are flared, and although I expect his breathing to be fast and enraged, his chest barely moves.
I involuntarily take a small step back and bump into Alex.
Alex puts his arm around my shoulders, tugging me into him as Justin glares. “Kayla, go to the car and drive to Freya.” Alex sighs.
“What? Why?”
“Just go, Kayla. I need to have a talk with Justin. Like old times.” His voice is pure steel. He’s never used this tone on me, so I make the right decision to make myself scarce.
I’m in my car in three big steps. It’s only when I’m inside and put my key in the ignition that I dare to glance at Justin.
His eyes follow my every move, and I shudder.
His attention is… too intense . But he also looks a little crestfallen, as if he’s disappointed with me.
My mouth goes dry as a wave of guilt rushes over me.
I hesitate before leaving. The look on his face… it’s painful. I take a deep breath and drive off, still unsure if I did the right thing.