Chapter 34 #3
The air is starting to feel weird. The memory of the last time I saw him washes over me, and I feel a ping in my chest that wasn’t there for a long time.
“Kayla.” He exhales my name as if a prayer, and it reaches that damn ache in my chest, soothing it.
“I didn’t do that.” I shoot him an accusatory glare, but he continues.
“I didn’t do that. When you left… fuck.” He wipes his face with his hands.
“When you left, I couldn’t figure out what happened. No one told me. No one.”
“Sounds familiar,” I whisper, though with no malice.
“Yeah, it does.” He smiles sadly. “That night, what you saw… that wasn’t what happened.”
“It’s pretty difficult to interpret any differently, Justin. There was a naked woman in your bed with you.” Against my will, I recall the picture I’ve been trying so hard to forget.
He sighs. “That’s partially my fault.”
“Partially?” My voice rises.
His gaze grows agitated. “Yeah, I know what you think.”
“Stop telling me what I think!” I snap at him.
“Let me finish then!” His voice grows louder too.
“Stop playing around and just spit it out already!”
He groans and turns on his heel. “Fuck, I forgot how infuriating you can be.” He turns back and explains, “It’s my fault because I should have explained how bad my insomnia is to you. ”
“What does that have to do with this?”
“Everything. When Alicia—” He cuts himself off.
“When that night happened, I had so much fucking guilt in my head that I couldn’t sleep even for a minute.
And that continued happening for days. Then months.
Then years. I’d go days without sleep and then crash for hours, even days, completely dead to the world. ”
“Like you did after our first kiss?” I half-ask, half-confirm what I’ve already heard from Freya.
“Yes, like after our first kiss.”
“Why did you never say anything?” My anger has simmered down a little—I’m well acquainted with guilt. We’re old pals.
His cheeks pinken. “Because it’s embarrassing.”
“What is? That you have insomnia?”
“That such a small thing can knock me down dead. That’s what.
I’m not used to being weak. I hate that.
” His voice turns raspy, like he’s truly embarrassed by his condition—something he can’t control.
“Those knocked-out hours were a fuckin’ nightmare in jail.
No one gives a shit about your internal clock there—everyone lives by the clock on the wall. ”
My jaw drops down. “How did you hide it from me so well?”
“Because when I’m with you, I can sleep. Like, really sleep.” He’s watching me intensely.
“Wow.” I slowly look him up and down. “I’m sorry. You look like shit, by the way.”
“Thanks, baby.” He chuckles. “I haven’t slept in months. Well, I’ve crashed, but it’s not the same thing.” My heart skips a beat at his ‘baby,’ and I try to squash it.
“Doesn’t really explain anything.”
“Right.” He scratches his chin, which looks to have a three-day beard, and it looks awfully sexy on him. “I crashed that night, and that woman you saw—she was in town, and we used to hook up years ago.”
“Jake says it was at the same time we were together,” I whisper.
“Right. Fuckin’ Jake.” He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and opens them.
“He knows where the spare key is, and he let her in, hoping I’d fuck her when I woke up.
” I wince at his bluntness, but he continues.
“You need to hear this. I haven’t been with anyone for a very long time, Kay.
A very long time. Long before we had something, I couldn’t even look at anyone else.
And after…” He shakes his head. “And do you really think that after I had you, I’d be able to look at someone else? Did I really give you that impression?”
“You did,” I answer honestly, my voice small. This story is too surreal to be true. And at the same time, it’s too surreal to be made up.
“I’m sorry, Kay. I’m really sorry.” He makes a move to come to me but stops himself mid-step.
“I hope one day you will be able to forgive me for all the shit I’ve done.
All of it. And I’m ready to prove to you every single day that I’m an idiot.
Every single day for the rest of my life.
” His eyes are full of pain and remorse, his Adam’s apple bobbing in harsh swallows.
“What are you saying, Justin?” My voice is barely above a whisper.
“I’m saying that I love you. I think I’ve loved you for a very long time.” He inches closer to me, but not close enough, giving me the power to decide our distance.
“Months?” My heart starts singing before he even replies.
“Years. ”
“Oh.” My eyes widen—how is that possible? “You sure?” Such a stupid question.
“I’m very sure.” He chuckles. “You’re my home.”
I feel a hot tear escape my eye and run down my cheek.
“Why are you crying, Kay? What happened?” He finally steps closer and gently wipes the tear away with one knuckle.
It’s the first physical contact I’ve experienced with him in forever, and my body’s weeping for more.
A stopper’s been pulled, opening a waterfall in my eyes, and I can’t control myself anymore.
Justin grabs my hand and pulls me into him, enveloping me in his powerful embrace. I wrap my arms around his torso and feel how much weight he’s really lost. I need to feed him. Pronto.
“Do you really love me?” I mumble into his chest.
“I do.” The confidence in his tone ignites a fire in my belly.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that.” I let out an embarrassing giggle, but I sober up quickly, remembering what he mentioned earlier. “Wait, you said you’ve been to Boston recently?”
“Yeah, I was at fuckface’s house and then at the parlor.” He tells me as he makes small circles on my back with his hand.
I lift my face up, looking into his eyes. “Why didn’t you say anything to me then?”
“I dunno.” He shrugs. “You looked so happy, so content. You were doing something you’ve been dreaming about for so long. I didn’t want to take it from you.”
“Oh, Justin,” I sniffle. “You dumbass. I could have done both.” I wipe my nose with the back of my hand.
“What?” He rears back. “What do you mean?”
“I could go to school and be with you at the same time. People date and stay in school, you know.” I poke his right pectoral.
“What—” He cuts himself off, looking up at the sky. “That fuckface!”
“What?”
“Never mind.”
“What do you mea?—”
He cuts me off with a hot kiss of his warm lips on mine, his delicious tongue enveloping my own.
His hands pulling me into him. His scent assaulting my nose.
His chest under my hands. His whole being surrounding me in a bubble of happiness and serenity that I was missing.
That feeling of perfect belonging with the person who feels like home— your home. Justin was right—we’re home.
“I’ve missed you,” he says into my mouth.
“Me too,” I reply, pulling him back hungrily.
“You’re moving in with me.”
“No, I’m not. You’re a slob.”
“I’ll change,” he answers between nibbles on my neck.
“No, you won’t,” I affirm with a smile of acceptance.
“No one is perfect,” he hums into my skin.
I giggle. “Yeah, I come with an entourage.”
“Let me guess: Marina?” He pulls on my braid, causing my head to fall backward.
“And Frank.”
“And Frank.” He laughs. “Frank is practically family at this point.”
“Couldn’t agree more,” I confirm with a smile .
JUSTIN
When I saw that piece of shit hitting her, I nearly died.
There are very few times in my life I’ve been so scared, and that was just about to top the list. If Donna hadn’t told me she saw Kayla’s Jeep driving through Maine street, I’d never have known she was home and wouldn’t have gotten here in time.
I don’t know what would have happened, but it would have been yet another woman in my life I was too late to save. I owe Donna a big one.
Kayla walks to the door of her trailer, unlocking it, and I trot behind her like a loyal dog. Because that’s what I choose to be: a loyal and, well, she likes doggy style, so…
I glance behind me. All those months, I’ve been jealous over a moose. Go figure. And she calls him Frank .
Opening the door, Kayla moves to head inside when her ass is right in front of me.
Her very plump and juicy ass squeezed in those tight pants: my dick stirs.
Of course, it does. He missed her; we missed her.
He hasn’t seen any action besides my hand, and that can only get him so far.
So when he saw the object of his desire, he woke up with a vengeance.
And even though my body demands to throw her over my shoulder and have my way with her, my poor broken heart is just happy to see her.
Any woman can give me an orgasm, but no one can give me that beautiful peace that Kayla brings me. No one.
I follow her inside and close the door. Even though the place is super clean, it seems abandoned without her.
There is no Kayla spirit around. But I’m sure it will only take her a few minutes to get it back to its original glory.
She bends over to do something under the sink, and my dick goes hard again.
Fucking tight jeans. Should have bought a bigger size.
She washes her hands and turns to me.
“Thank you for helping me out there.” She waves her hand toward the front of the trailer .
“No problem. Looked like you and Frank had everything under control.”
Her lips twitch. “We did.”
“So, when are you moving in?”
Her face contorts, confused. “Where?”
“To my place, of course.” Duh .
She rears back. “I’m not moving into your place.”
“Why not?” Now I’m the one confused.
She looks at me like I’m a lunatic. “Because I just came back, and we were apart for so long.”
“Exactly.” I spread my arms. “Why waste more time?” In my opinion, my words are very reasonable.
“We need to get to know each other again!” She throws her hands out in front of her.