Chapter 27 #2
“I am not her.” Jorja figured it was better to give it to him straight.
“I will never do what she did.” She refused to compete with his ex-wife, even if it was for his trust. No, not even—especially for his trust. If he didn’t trust that he could leave for work and know she wouldn’t betray him, then they were never going to work.
“I know,” he replied. “Sometimes my knee-jerk reaction needs time to catch up to what I know is true. It won’t happen again.”
“It will.” No matter who you were, changing the reflexes which kept your heart safe took more than resolve—it took practice.
What they were building between them wasn’t a magic fix-all Band-Aid.
“I just need you to promise me, when it does, that you don’t shut me out,” she told him.
“And I know that’s hard to do. I just need you to tell me when the voices in your head sound like your ex-wife and not me. ”
Clearly, he was thinking about it, but this time the silence between them wasn’t loud or screaming into the void.
It was soft, comfortable, and wrapped around her like a hug from her favorite weighted blanket.
“I promise, I will do my best,” he replied softly.
“And you’ll keep calling me on my shit when needed? ”
“Yes. Yes, I will.”
“Good, because I might deny that I need it, but don't believe me. Do it anyway.”
Jorja silently vowed to do so when she could.
There was something about this man, cracking open the walls he’d built to protect his heart and trusting her, which ripped away her own defenses, rendering them obsolete.
She closed her eyes, trying to hide from an onslaught of emotions threatening to overwhelm her.
These stolen moments and the bearing of his soul would forever be etched in her memory.
“Do we have a deal, then?”
“Yes, a deal.” In the background she heard someone calling his name, and knew he was going before he said the words. “We do have a deal.”
“Thank you,” he whispered softly. “I gotta go.”
“I know. Be safe.”
“I will, I promise. Later, beautiful.”
Jorja tapped the comms unit, shutting it off. She stared across the courtyard, watching the fireflies as they flittered around the lights which wrapped around the old well handle on the fountain.
I’ve either made the biggest fuck-up of my life or the best decision. Either way, my world changes. Am I ready for it?
She had no answers for herself, because sometimes fate laid someone in your path, but the decision was yours to choose them for yourself.
Sometimes the decision was the right one which would bring you a love to last through the ages, and other times the choice brought you a heartache of which tragedies were written.
Taking the first step wasn’t the scary bit; figuring out what happened next was.
After wallowing in her thoughts for longer than she probably should have, she slapped her hands on her knees and muttered, “I’m all set,” and got to her feet.
She and Gunnar had rolled the dice on the Game of Life board, now all they could do was cling to each other and see where they ended up when the final counts were done.
She turned to the door of the war-room and turned the handle, wrinkling her nose when it didn’t open.
Raising her hand, she knocked on it, cop style with three short, loud raps.
“Remi?” She cocked her head to one side, listening for any indication Remi had heard her, then knocked again.
When that too received no response, she hammered on the door with both fists. “Remi, open the door. Remi!”
“Coming!” Remi yelled.
“Finally.” She stepped to one side so she didn’t get smacked on the nose with the door when he opened it.
“How did you get locked out?” Still half asleep with his hair standing on his head as if he’d been running his hand through it in his sleep, Remi let her back into the office.
She pulled the headset off her head and handed it back to him. “I was talking to Gunnar and shut the door to keep it somewhat private.”
Remi nodded and sat down again. “It’s recorded. I’ll delete it.”
She winced internally. She should have known the conversation would be recorded, but it hadn’t occurred to her to ask. Unless someone was going to review that audio tonight, then it wasn’t urgent. “Do it in the morning. So, do you have anything else to do which can’t wait until the morning?”
“Um…” Remi sleepily checked his computer. “I don’t think so.”
“Then we are done for the night.” She snagged the sleeve of his t-shirt. “Up you go. It’s time to get some sleep.”
He allowed her to tug him to the door before shrugging free. “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re bossy?”
“Sure they have.” She nudged him out the door and almost closed it. “Is the key inside, or can we get back in tomorrow if I shut this?”
“Yeah, it’s scanner locked. My hands will open it.”
She nodded and firmly closed the door. “Then tomorrow is another day. It’s time to rest. I don’t know about you, but the code on the screens was starting to run together.
” She walked under the terrace roof next to Remi.
Normally, with Gunnar, she crossed the courtyard to the door directly opposite the war-room.
They passed a door with a hammock swinging between two pillars. “I have no idea which place is yours.”
“This door here with the hammock is Colt’s,” Remi told her. “Next one is our guest suite for when family comes to stay.” He stopped at a door on the corner. “This one is mine, and Talon and Zombie have the one between me and Gunnar.” He rubbed one eye with his index finger. “I’ll walk you down.”
“No need.” She nudged him toward his door. “It’s about ten steps at most.”
“More like twenty.” That he didn’t protest but unlocked his door with a press of his thumb on the scanner told her how tired he was. “I’m not going in until you are safely inside.”
Tired… but still a protector to his core.
“Don’t forget to eat something,” she reminded him before turning to go home. “Night, Remi.”
“Night, George.”
She’d expected the nickname to grate on her nerves just as it had a million times before, but this time that didn’t happen.
Weird.
When she stopped at Gunnar’s door, she held her breath until the door opened under her hand. Thankfully, Remi hadn’t done a reset since this morning and forgotten to tell her. She waved at him and called, “Good night.”
“Night.”
Jorja shut the door behind her and made sure it was locked before climbing the stairs to the main living space.
She poured herself a glass of wine and fixed a bowl of cereal.
“It’s been a long-ass upheaval-y kind of day.
Sue me for wanting to go to bed tipsy.” She brought the wine and cereal into the living room with her and found the TV remote down the back of the couch, along with two bullets, a pen, and some kind of tool which looked like a snowflake, and rolled her eyes.
“Better get used to this, sister. Talking to yourself in an empty house. Finding bullets down the back of the couch… figure out if you can deal. If not, now is the time to walk your butt right on out the door and go home.”