Chapter Nineteen
Haizley
Just over a week had passed since Aspen and I had moved into the clubhouse. During that time, she and I met twice daily for our one-hour sessions. One in the morning, and one in the evening. At midday we also had a one-hour session that included Amber.
It was helpful for Aspen to hear Amber’s story. Learning what Amber had been through helped to put her own trauma in perspective. Aspen needed to understand that Amber’s story wasn’t any more important or traumatizing than what Aspen had been through. Only that they each had been assaulted.
She needed to understand it wasn’t a competition, nor should she use someone else’s recovery journey as a ruler to measure where she should be in her own healing. The purpose was to show her she wasn’t alone.
This week I was hoping to cut down to one session a day with Aspen, combined with the session with the two of them. Cutting down from three sessions to two was a big step; however, I was optimistic that by the end of this week we would be able to drop to three or four days a week rather than every day.
She was comfortable with most of the brothers. Maureen came by the clubhouse every morning for breakfast. With her came Tucker, who sat by Aspen’s feet. The dog decided which brother was deemed acceptable that day to sit with us.
Tucker was smart, and his presence made me consider getting a dog. If I started working with patients in person, a dog like him could prove really helpful.
“Morning, Tucker. How’s my boy?” Jack kneeled on the floor, rubbing the dog’s head. He seemed to be the only one that Tucker always let sit with us. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he always said hi to Tucker before addressing us.
“Morning, ladies.”
“Morning, Jack.”
“Morning,” Aspen greeted quietly. That was a huge improvement. After almost two weeks, she was finally interacting with the men that sat with us. The table had become a safe place for her. A comfort that allowed her to feel a little bit normal. Her words not mine. In my opinion, normal was a stupid term when referring to people.
Normal was subjective. To someone living in the United States, normal was living in a house with electricity and running water. To someone living in a remote part of Burundi Africa, electricity was not normal.
As therapists, we tried not to use words like normal. We also tried not to correct our patients if they used those same words. Correcting their word choice would be taking away a piece of their power, which would likely set them back.
Jack smiled at Aspen, then turned back to me. “Haizley, I was wondering if I could ask you a question.”
“Of course. Would you like to speak in private?” I moved to stand, but Jack placed his hand over mine.
“No need. I was just wondering about setting an appointment with you?”
“Oh, of course.” I tried to temper my surprise, but I knew I hadn’t done a great job when Jack chuckled.
“My brother just moved here from Arkansas. I don’t know how much you know about Sam and me, but well, it’s quite the story. The short version is that Sam was married to my brother when we met, only I didn’t know I had a brother.”
“I have heard the rumors but wasn’t sure what was true.”
“Probably everything you heard.” Jack smiled. “Anyway, Sam wants us to be a family.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “The truth is, I do too. I never had a family until I joined the club, but now, I do. And well, there are some things we need to work through. I thought maybe you could help with that?”
“Of course, Jack.” I reached out, placing my hand over his. Physical touch could do wonders in making people feel comfort in a variety of ways. “I’ll grab my calendar later and we can make a plan.”
“I was hoping Derek could stop by today, maybe meet you?”
“Of course.”
“Thanks, Haizley.”
Jack stepped away and I noticed Aspen was looking around the room.
“Everything ok?”
She whipped her head around to me. “Huh? Oh, yea.” Her eyes dropped to the dog as she petted him.
“Hey, talk to me.”
“It’s nothing,” she dismissed, shaking her head.
“It’s not nothing if it has you feeling down.”
Aspen bit her lip and looked at me. Something was bothering her, but she almost seemed embarrassed to say what it was.
“There is no judgment here, Aspen. You can tell me anything.”
“Well, it’s just that...” She looked around the room again before taking a deep breath. “It’s just usually Banshee sits with us in the morning for a little bit.” She hitched one shoulder as though it didn’t matter.
I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. Aspen had no idea the progress she had made. Just anticipating having breakfast with a man was huge. But being disappointed that he wasn’t there was even bigger.
She wasn’t thinking about her fear when it came to Banshee. I guessed he must have felt like a father figure. That was a start.
“He must have had something to do early this morning. I’m sure he’ll be around for lunch. Or dinner.”
“Yea.”
Tucker lifted his head and barked before running to the door and bouncing around excitedly.
“Tucker, come,” Maureen called. The dog turned and made it halfway before changing his mind and running back to the door. His excited barks went up in volume before the door opened and Banshee walked in with another dog that looked similar.
Tucker bounced around, his butt wiggling almost uncontrollably. The dog with Banshee began acting the same.
“Sit!”
Immediately, both dogs sat at Banshee’s firm command and looked up at him, waiting.
“Tucker, Mom.”
Tucker whined, but didn’t move. Banshee looked at the dog, his hands on his hips.
“Tucker, Mom!” he said more firmly. Tucker whined again but slinked back to Maureen and laid at her feet. His head rested on the floor between his front paws, and he continued to whine.
“What the hell is going on?” King barked.
Banshee walked toward our table, ignoring King, and the new dog followed.
Squatting down in front of Aspen, he said, “Baby girl, this is Diesel. He’s Tucker’s brother.” Banshee looked at the dog then hitched his chin toward Aspen, and Diesel moved closer, nuzzling his nose under her hand.
When Banshee walked away, King hollered, “What the fuck is going on? When did we become a fucking animal rescue?”
“Come down, little brother,” the sheriff admonished. “Maybe now I can keep my woman home in the morning.”
“Declan!” Maureen smacked his stomach.
“I’m sorry, Sheriff. I didn’t mean—”
The sheriff held his hand up. “That wasn’t directed at you, Aspen. I’m just busting his balls. He needs to loosen up.”
“Don’t worry, Aspen, I’ll still be here in the mornings.” Maureen winked. “Especially now, so Tucker can play with his brother.”
“TWO DOGGIES!” Charlie came screaming into the room, and my heart jumped into my throat as both dogs ran toward her.
“Can I have a doggie, Daddy? Please?” Charlie was on the floor with the dogs, who both rolled around on their backs in front of her.
“Banshee, what the fuck, man?”
“Charlie, we talked about this. No dogs until the house is done,” Sam reminded her.
I had learned Jack and Sam were building a house on the club’s land. It wouldn’t be ready until the fall.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, the new dog is for Aspen. He’ll be living here in the clubhouse.” Banshee winked at the little girl, and she ran over and hugged him.
“Thank you, Uncle Banshee.”
Banshee lifted the little girl up in the air and she laughed. Aspen watched in awe; a small smile tugged at her lips whenever her eyes were on Banshee.
“Ok, Shortcake, we need to go.” Jack plucked his daughter from Banshee’s arms.
“We gets to see the baby today!” Charlie cried excitedly.
“Didn’t you have an ultrasound last month, Sam?” Maureen asked, concern edging her voice.
“I did, but I am measuring a little big, so they want to do another more in-depth one.” She shrugged, unfazed.
“Maybe this time we can see the sex,” Jack grumbled.
“I told you we were waiting. Besides, it’s too early.”
“I don’t want to wait,” Jack whined.
“No uterus, no opinion.” Sam headed toward the door, followed by Mimic.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Jack grabbed Mimic’s arm.
“With you.”
“Fuck no. You don’t need to be there while my woman is all opened up.”
Sighing heavily, Sam stepped between them. “Jack, the ultrasound is external, as you well know. I will be fully clothed. I invited Mimic to come if he wanted to.”
“I wanna see my little sister, too.” Mimic pulled Charlie from Jack’s arms and walked outside.
“Jesus Christ,” Jack groaned. “First of all, it’s a fucking boy. Second of all, it’s not his little anything.”
Sam just stood there, waiting for Jack to concede.
“Fine,” he grumbled. Sam linked her arm with Jack’s.
“Let us know how it goes,” King called as they walked out the door.
“I need to get to the station.” Turning to Maureen, the sheriff asked, “Are you staying?”
“No, I think I need a nap.” She sighed. “Charlie just reminded me of what life will be like soon.” She narrowed her eyes at the sheriff.
Maureen moved here back in November. She had known the sheriff when they were kids, but lost touch for nearly forty years. Now they were together, and a few months ago at forty-eight, they found out they were expecting.
Beck had told me Maureen threatened to let Bane cut off Declan’s balls for knocking her up, while Bane was drunk, no less. Though Beck was excited that her little boy would have an aunt or uncle growing up with him.
“Are you ready for your session?” I asked Aspen.
Stocks walked by our table and Diesel growled. I knew Stocks was one of the brothers that made Aspen uncomfortable. The dog must have noticed the change in her when the man got close.
Stocks ignored the dog and kept walking. Once he had passed, Aspen’s shoulders dropped, and her body relaxed. Diesel relaxed as well.
“Could we maybe skip this morning’s session?” Aspen studied Diesel, then looked at me. “I think I’d like to try to take a walk outside by myself. Well, with Diesel. Is that ok?”
“I think that’s a great idea.” I smiled at Aspen, impressed that she took the initiative.
“But could you sit outside while I do? Maybe read a book or something? Just in case.” Hope and fear swirled in her eyes. I reached over and touched her hand.
“Of course. How about you sit here with Diesel, and I will run upstairs and grab my book?”
Not giving her time to answer, I jumped from my seat and dashed from the room. Just sitting in the main room without me was a huge step for Aspen.
By the time I made it back downstairs, Shotgun was sitting at the table talking with Aspen. Shotgun was doing most of the talking, but I stood there for a moment and just watched her. She wasn’t the animated flower shop owner I once knew, but she was getting there.
Aspen and I moved outside, and I sat in one of the Adirondack chairs while she took her new dog for a walk. I watched for a few minutes to be sure she was ok and then lost myself in my book.
“She’s making remarkable progress in such a short time.”
Recognizing King’s voice, I kept my attention on my book.
“She is.”
“Mind if I sit?”
This time, I did look up. “It’s your home, you don’t need my permission.” Yea, I was being snarky, but I wasn’t sure why.
Taking the seat next to me, King caught me off guard when he said, “I wanted to talk to you about someone.”