Chapter Thirty-Nine
Haizley
“Thank you for sharing that with me. I can’t tell you what she said, but listening to Amber’s story, and now yours, has helped me understand what I was feeling. Why I didn’t feel bad. In a perfect world, life would be black and white. But this world isn’t perfect, and we all live in the gray.”
What Gunner did when he was a kid shaped him into the man he was. The fighter, the outlaw, the protector. It was a crime of passion, carried out in the heat of the moment when his sister was in danger. He had no way of knowing what that man had ‘paid’ for. He only knew it would be hurtful to his sister. Both physically and emotionally.
That kind of loyalty should be celebrated. But often it resulted in the protector being the one getting punished.
“What happened to the man you killed? How did you not get in trouble?”
“My dad took care of it. No idea what he did, but he didn’t want the cops showing up. Not with what was going on in that house. He would have ended up in prison.”
I nodded, understanding what he wasn’t saying. It was that gray area again. A man who didn’t protect his daughter only protected his son because he was protecting himself.
Amber’s story differed only in that hers would be considered premeditated. But what she did was no less astonishing than Gunner protecting his sister. She was protecting herself. The only way she knew how.
What I did was a combination of both. In the heat of the moment, I protected myself the only way I could. But by killing Greg, I also protected countless women that he would never get the chance to assault. Men like him didn’t stop until someone stopped them.
I could see that now.
I could accept what I did with a clear conscience, knowing that if I found myself in that position again, I would do the same thing without thought. Only next time, I wouldn’t question the right and wrong.
I would accept the gray.
I would revel in it.
“Gunner?”
“Yea, baby?”
“Fuck me.”
The shock that took over was almost comical. The switch from a serious conversation to the bluntness of my command confused him for a moment. Then his gaze turned heated. A searing lust overtook me at the smile that spread across his face. A smile that promised debauchery. An experience that I was not only unfamiliar with but also maybe a little wary of.
Gunner jackknifed off the couch, never losing his hold on me. He carried me toward the stairs. He didn’t kiss me, and I was a little disappointed. Every guy I had ever been with started with kissing. It was the warmup to the warmup.
And I just plain liked kissing him.
So, it hurt when I leaned forward to kiss him and he pulled back.
“Let’s get one thing straight before I take you upstairs and fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before. You are not in control, little lamb. I give the commands, and you obey them. You ok with that?”
Shit, was I?
His expression was a blank mask. I couldn’t read him other than his desire to have me. I was unsure what to expect.
More of what you had before?
Oh, I did enjoy that. The way his mouth moved over me, his tongue probing me, bringing me to the brink then pushing me over. Even the slap against my piercing, while it hurt, it was… dare I say it?
A good hurt.
A stirring hurt.
An illicit hurt that promised more pleasure from the pain.
“I’m waiting, Haizley.”
“Yes,” I whispered almost imperceptibly.
I barely heard the word slip from my lips, but I knew it was enough for him to hear it when a sultry smile bridged the width of his cheeks.
Clearly happy with my answer, Gunner leaned forward and kissed me. He spoke with his mouth in a way I had never understood was possible. There were no words. The way his lips slanted over mine promised more than any word in the English language could express.
His teeth nipped at my bottom lip, causing a gasp that was swallowed by his mouth as he devoured mine. His tongue licked over my lips before plunging into my mouth, exploring and tasting, pulling whimpers and mewls from me with every swipe.
His hands on my ass tightened, massaging my globes as we stood at the bottom of the stairs. Gunner used the leverage to grind himself against me, causing heat and moisture to pool between my legs with every sensation.
“Gunner, please take me upstairs.”
“I love hearing you beg, baby. Are you wet for me?”
“Why don’t you check?” I murmured against his neck as I trailed kisses across his chin.
Gunner smacked my ass cheek, and pain brought me up short.
I glared at him.
“What the hell?”
“I told you. You ain’t in charge. Bratty girls get spanked.”
I felt the flush consume my entire body at his words and I buried my head in his neck.
Gunner adjusted his hold of me, supporting me with one hand while his other pulled me back so he could look at me, his eyes hard and unsmiling.
“Don’t ever fucking hide from me. Your every fucking reaction belongs to me. Every moan, every whimper, every fucking blush. I want to see the way your body responds as I devour you. Your orgasms are mine to give when I am damn good and ready. You still want to go upstairs?”
His words made me ache. My pussy throbbed as I considered what his words meant. I had never had a man talk to me with such authority, such heat. I couldn’t speak, afraid my voice would crack, so I nodded.
That wasn’t enough, and he barked, “Words, Haizley.”
It was at that moment I knew I was done. The way my body trembled at his hard voice told me not only was I not in control, but I was pretty sure Gunner owned my body now.
“Yes,” I rasped, unsure if I was ready for this, but wanting it more than anything in my life.
Gunner slowly carried me up the stairs. The bounce of every step meant I felt the friction of his hard cock as he rubbed against my core over and over and over.
My eyes closed as the sensations overtook me.
“You come now, and it will be the only one you get tonight.”
My eyes snapped open.
I didn’t understand what he meant. But if he was really offering more than one, I would do anything to add that to my list of possible firsts tonight. The first time being forced to submit. I knew that was what he wanted. I had read enough spicy romance novels to understand when a man wanted to dominate me, and I was here for it.
Despite being an independent woman who had lived her entire adult life and half her teenage years in charge of every decision, every struggle, every mistake, I wanted to give in and let someone else be in charge.
Another first tonight was having sex in my bed.
Most women might enjoy bringing a guy home, but I never did. Home was my haven. My peace. I didn’t want a man to tarnish my home with memories of subpar sex. Having to kick a guy out so I could get myself off when they couldn’t didn’t exactly work toward the mood.
So, I went to their place. It might not have been the smartest move, but I didn’t go home with just anyone. I was picky about who I slept with and never on the first date.
Gunner was different. It felt right to have him here, in my home. In my bed. I hadn’t slept better than the past few nights when he had been in my bed. So, if he was promising an experience unlike anything I’d had before, I would do as he commanded.
I grabbed his shoulders and lifted myself off the bulge I could clearly feel under his jeans. When I did, he stopped. We were near the top of the stairs, only three or four left to go, but the way I bounced against him had me halfway coming apart already.
“Why did you stop?” I looked behind me to see the roadblock I knew wasn’t there.
“What did I tell you?”
Turning back to look at him, his tone again confused me. He didn’t sound angry exactly, but he wasn’t happy.
“That if I came, it was the only one I got.”
“You want more than one? Are you greedy, little lamb?”
“I mean, if you’re offering, I would be stupid to turn it down.” I tried to give him a sexy smile, hoping he would return it and smile like he did when I told him to fuck me.
He didn’t.
“You are not in control, Haizley.”
“I know.”
“Then relax. Stop holding yourself up. I want to feel that greedy pussy rubbing against me.”
“But, Gunner,” I whined.
“Relax!” he commanded with a smack against my ass to ensure my obedience.
I immediately sagged against his body, and he resumed his trek up the stairs. I groaned and buried my head against his neck. I wasn’t sure I could take much more. Between his dick rubbing against my lips and the piercing rubbing against my clit, I was dangerously close to the edge. The rumble of his chest revealed his laugh as he pulled me tighter against him.
I was dying. He was trying to kill me. I wanted to cry at the possibility of coming before we even reached my bedroom, let alone my bed.
Once we reached the top, Gunner picked up the pace. I was so thankful. I couldn’t hold out much longer. When he stepped into my room, he let go, practically dropping me on the floor just inside the room.
“Strip.”
“What?”
“Strip,” he repeated. “Take off your clothes, Haizley.”
I stared at him, dumbstruck.
“I know what strip means, Gunner. Why am I doing all the work? Aren’t you supposed to unwrap me?” I asked in exasperation.
My arms flung out at my side.
I was confused. This wasn’t going at all like I expected. The first time we fooled around, Gunner had done everything. He kissed me senseless and removed my clothes, then ate me like it was his last meal. Where was that man?
Gunner shook his head at me and walked over to the bed. Sitting down on the edge, he beckoned me with a finger and a smile. My answering smile was involuntary. This was the Gunner I wanted. The romantic one. The one who would take his time with me.
When I stepped over to him, he grabbed my hips, pulling me between his knees. He unbuttoned my jeans and peeled them off, along with my panties, down my legs. He lifted first one leg, then the other until I was naked from the waist down.
“What did I tell you downstairs?” His smile was gone, and his eyes were now cold. No longer heated though still dilated.
A moment of fear washed over me as I answered him.
“I wasn’t in charge,” I said softly.
“And?”
My eyes widened at the memory.
Oh shit.
Before I could object, Gunner flipped me over across his knees as his hand came down hard across my butt, and I cried out.
“Gunner, fuck!” I wiggled, trying to get away, but he held me firmly with one hand.
“I warned you, baby. Bratty girls get spanked.”
Three more slaps against my cheeks and I groaned. Gunner’s hand rubbed where he had spanked, and I whimpered. It hurt, but... it was more than that. The feeling of his hand against my flesh was so different from when he spanked me downstairs.
Gunner was a giant. He killed a man at fifteen by literally punching him to death. The knowledge of how powerful he was. How much he could hurt me if he truly wanted to, calmed me in a way that surprised me. The discipline it took to hold back while he punished me fascinated me, drawing my attention away from him until his fingers probed between my thighs and I felt him sliding between my lips.
“You liked that, didn’t you, little lamb?”
“No,” I lied.
In an instant, his fingers withdrew, leaving me feeling cold, bereft. Another smack landed, and the moan that slipped from my mouth wouldn’t be contained.
“Don’t fucking lie to me.”