Chapter 14
Natasa
Things have been great here, almost too great. I know from experience when things are this good, something bad is coming.. I’ve been there and done that, and I never want to go back.
Walking over to Rick, I throw my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. His arms encircle me and hold me tight.
“What’s wrong?”
“How do you know something’s wrong?”
“I can tell by the way you’re hugging me. What is it?”
“I just … there are some days I feel uncomfortable here. Like I don’t belong here,” I confess.
“You want to go back?”
“Not permanently. Can’t we just go, I don’t know, walk around?”
“If that’s what you want, we can.” Rick pulls back and looks down at me. “Just don’t run away from him, Nat. He’s good to you.”
“I don’t want to run away from him. I like being with him too. I think I just need a break. A kick in the ass,” I laugh.
“Then let’s go before it gets colder out. Grab your coat.” I nod my head and pull away from him, heading to my room and grabbing my jacket. I pull it on as I walk down the hall when I see Hodge.
“Goin’ somewhere?”
“Just for a walk,” I reply. He nods before looking around; I’m guessing for his dad.
“Where’s Gunner?”
“He said he had things to do.”
“You don’t need to go alone.”
“Rick’s coming with me.”
“As long as someone’s with you,” he says. I smile and move to where Rick waits for me. I walk over, slip my hand into his just like we always do, and head out the door.
“How are you liking being at the clubhouse?” I ask him.
“I love it, honestly. I’ve never seen people who care about each other the way they do. It’s like their own little family,” he says. I feel the same.
“Right? It’s amazing to see them get along the way they do.”
“But?”
“How do you know there’s a but?”
“There always is with you. What is it?”
“I don’t know. I feel like maybe I’m taking advantage of Gunner.” Rick bursts into laughter at my words before shaking his head.
“That’s so far from the truth. You haven’t asked him for anything.”
“And yet we have everything.”
“Because he wants to do it, Nat. You didn’t ask him for anything. He’s doing these things because he wants to.”
“Doesn’t change how I feel. Did you know he already bought baby supplies?” I ask him. Rick shakes his head the closer we get to our old grounds.
“I didn’t know that, but at least he’s preparing.”
“Do you ever miss this?” I ask him nodding toward the alley where we used to sleep at times.
“Honestly? No. Not having to beg and shit for food and a place to stay has been nice. Remy said he was going to let me work in the garage to make some cash,” he tells me. I didn’t know about that, but I’m glad, I’m happy for him.
“That’s news to me.”
“Yeah, he just told me about it. I like working with my hands, so I think it’ll be good.”
“You’re a hard one to track down.” The voice sends a chill down my spine. My eyes widen as I look to Rick for help but I can’t form words to say it. He turns quickly, but I don’t. I stay frozen in place.
“Who the hell are you?” he asks. Before any other words can be spoken, I hear him groan in pain. Fear keeps me paralyzed. I should be running. I should be screaming for help, but I can’t. I’m frozen in place.
Rick falls to the ground as I drop to my knees. This is it. It’s all over now.
“Get up, Natasa.” I can’t move. I glance over and see the blood coming out of Rick’s stomach, and a cry escapes my lips. Then I’m being yanked to my feet. Another cry falls free as I’m yanked toward a car.
“Walk, Natasa!” My feet don’t want to move. My body feels numb as Clark half drags me to the car. He shoves me inside as tears fall down my cheeks. This can’t be happening. Not now.
Clark climbs in the car next to me and orders the driver to drive. As we take off, his hand comes to rest on my thigh. I cringe, not wanting him to touch me.
“I didn’t realize you were still a little whore,” he says when his hand moves and rests on my stomach. I want to throw up. I want to scream and jump out of the car, but I can’t.
“What do you want?” I manage to ask him weakly.
“You, of course. You ran from me, Natasa.”
“You hurt me.”
“Oh, I’m going to hurt you worse for running. Now we have this little bastard to deal with, too, don’t we?”
“You can’t hurt my baby, Clark. Please.”
“I like to hear you beg. Maybe I’ll raise this baby as my own. Make him just like me. Wouldn’t that be great?” My stomach churns, acid burning my throat. I can’t let him hurt this baby. I won’t. This baby is all I have, and I won’t let him take that away from me.
“Please, Clark. Just let me go.”
“Why would I do that? Hmm? You’ve always been mine, Natasa. Always.” Just hearing him say the words makes me sick. I don’t want to be his. I’ve never wanted to be his. More tears run down my cheeks as the car comes to a stop. When I look up, I realize where I am. Clark’s house. The same place he raped me. The same place he let his friends rape me and the same place my parents sold me to him. I vowed never to come back here, and here I am.
Clark climbs out of the car before yanking me out behind him. All my thoughts are on the baby right now. I won’t fight him just yet because I don’t want him to hurt the baby, so I follow him as he leads me to the front door. When we step inside, I heave. Clark shoves me away from him, and I stumble and fall to my knees. He doesn’t care. He never has.
“Get up,” he demands. I shove myself up and stand, swallowing hard as he calls for someone to clean up my mess. “You know the rules here. They are no different from when you were here before.”
“You can’t do this, Clark. Please, just let me go.”
“Why Natasa? Why would I do that?”
“Because you can find someone else. Someone better than me.” He walks over and cups my cheek in his hand, making me want to throw up again.
“You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I’m no good for you, Clark.”
“You were perfect for me. That tight little pussy of yours, the way you’d cry and look at me when they were using it. How you’d beg me to stop it. It was all perfect, Natasa. I wouldn’t want to give that up.” He’s using me for his own sick purposes, just like before. Clark pulls back and grabs my hand, leading me up the steps.
When we reach the top, he turns and walks us into the same room I was in before. I shake my head when I see it. It’s exactly the same as the last time I was here. Nothing has changed. There’s still a bed with chains attached in the corner. A giant mirror across from the bed where he forced me to watch what was happening to me. A chill wraps around me, and I shiver at the thought. Clark just laughs.
“Did you miss your room? Sleeping in a nice comfortable bed? When I heard you ran away and were homeless, well, I wasn’t pleased. That isn’t any way for you to live, Natasa.” I hate the way he says my name. It makes my skin crawl.
“It was better than this hell.”
“You thought this was hell? Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet. The things I have planned for you now that you’re back … let’s just say you won’t enjoy them.”
“You can’t do this to me, Clark. I’m pregnant.”
“That means nothing. Some men have a fetish for pregnant women, as you well know.” Trying to keep what’s left of my lunch in is proving to be harder and harder the more he talks.
“Please, Clark. Just wait until after I have the baby. Then you can do whatever you want to me.”
“Are we bargaining? No, Natasa. That isn’t how this works. You’re mine, remember? I choose what happens to you. You don’t make that call.”
“You can do that, but please wait, Clark. This baby didn’t do anything wrong.” Clark sighs before he sits on the edge of the bed and motions for me to come to him. I hesitate only briefly before forcing myself to walk over and sit next to him. He reaches up and brushes my hair away from my face.
“Would it make you feel better if it was only me while you’re pregnant?” Those words. They make me sicker. I don’t want him touching me either.
“Yes.” The word barely falls from my lips when his hands slide around to the back of my neck and hold me gently.
“I will allow this one thing, Natasa. This one thing only. When you have that baby, things go back to normal.” I nod my head. I have nothing else to do, so I nod my fucking head.
“Okay.”
“Thank me, Natasa.” He shoves me to the floor on my knees and unzips his pants, pulling his cock free.