12. GALVANIZE
12
GALVANIZE
The sun had long set by the time they started making themselves presentable enough to leave the hotel, their view of Manhattan now a myriad of electric colors against a black sky. Blair had asked if they were staying the night, but Wren had school early in the morning.
He sat on the edge of the bed while Wren sat up and tried to bring his hair under control. Blair had to resist the temptation to just slide behind him and spend a little longer with his arms wrapped around that tall, sinewy body. They never cuddled, per se, with Wren never staying in his embrace for longer than Blair could keep him distracted with his mouth on Wren’s skin. But Wren had stayed close, and it was enough.
Blair looked up at a mumbled curse and found Wren’s hair still getting the best of him. “Hey, hey. Stop before you pull it all out. Hold still.” Blair crawled over to sit on the bed behind him, but rather than try to embrace him, he pulled Wren’s hands away from their failing task.
Wren huffed but he didn’t protest Blair carefully working through his hair. All of it wasn’t going to lay down without some product but he could at least make it look less like he had spent an hour in a windstorm. One of the longer pieces in the front was having none of it, though. Blair sighed and began twisting it between his fingers.
“Your hair isn’t very long,” Wren said.
Blair waited for more but he didn’t say anything else. “No, not really.”
“You’re good with hair, but I wouldn’t expect yours to need much maintenance.”
Blair laughed. His hair could probably use a little more care than he gave it but it just didn’t matter to him if it stuck out in different directions. “My little sister always had me fix her hair for her. Mom would pull the crap out of it if Hope asked her for help but I was a softie so she would come to me.” He held the end of the section of hair he had braided and did some wriggling to get his wallet out of his back pocket with the other. He took the bobby pin out of the credit card slot and pinned the braid against the side of Wren’s head. He pulled a few strands down to cover the pin. “There you go, all done.”
Wren touched the side of his head. “Why do you have a hairpin? Do you often find yourself rushing to Hope’s aid when she’s having a hair emergency?”
“I used to carry it for picking locks before Julian got me an actual pick set.”
“You know, it’s easy to forget you participate in anything illegal,” Wren said with a taunt in his voice.
Blair glared at the back of his head. “I don’t know how.”
“Because as obsessed as you are with them, you don’t seem like you belong with Incindious.”
The words struck an old chord, sending once buried doubts ringing through his mind, images of his family moving on without him flashing before his eyes, and he moved from behind Wren to stand from the bed. “We should probably get going.”
“You almost seem offended that I don’t think you fit in with a bunch of lowlife criminals,” Wren said, following him to the door.
Blair whirled on his heel. “Don’t call them that!” He actually saw a flash of surprise on Wren’s face and the anger bled out as quickly as it arrived. He knew Wren didn’t mean anything by it—he never did when he started running his mouth. Blair dropped his head against Wren’s chest in defeat. “I didn’t mean to snap, but seriously, please don’t talk about them that way. They look out for me.”
Wren tolerated the affection long enough to pat the top of Blair’s head before stepping away. “Let’s go.”
It wasn’t an acceptance of his apology or an agreement to what he asked, but it was good enough. Blair knew what to expect. They might have been intimate that night, but Wren was still Wren.
Their footsteps echoed in the parking garage as they walked back to the Audi. Wren shifted up as soon as they turned out of the garage and into the street. He drummed his fingers on his thigh for a moment. Then, in such a subtle way that Blair wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t watching him, he turned his hand to let his palm face up. His eyes were fixed on the road but the indecisive twitch of his fingers betrayed him.
Blair reached over and took his hand. That warm feeling in his chest just kept constricting tighter, like a vise threatening to crush his heart if he opened it any further.
The Audi glided to a stop at the curb. Blair felt like it had been longer than just a few hours since he left the apartment. He watched the sign flash at the gas station on the corner. He looked at it without really seeing it, too preoccupied with feeling like he finally understood some fraction of Wren, a tiny piece of who he was under the brilliance and the indifference and the boundless sarcasm.
“Earth to Blair.”
Blair unbuckled his seatbelt. “Sorry. I’m just worn out. In a good way,” he added hastily.
“I’ll walk you up.”
He didn’t argue against having a little more time together. Their shadows stretched long and gangly under the yellow glow of the streetlamps. Inside, Wren was slow to ascend the stairs, which Blair expected was more for his benefit than for Wren’s legs that were used to trekking around a hospital all day. The pace left only a minor ache in his thigh by the time he reached his door.
Wren kissed him soundly. His mouth remained closed and his hands sedentary on Blair’s waist, but it was still enough to make Blair’s breath catch until Wren pulled away. It would have been easy to pull him back down and continue; easier still to unlock the door and pick up where they left off at the hotel.
For the night, though, Blair was satisfied, not to mention exhausted. He slid his arms around Wren’s waist to rest his hands on his back. “You should come over next time you’re not tied up at school or the hospital.”
“Are you going to tie me up instead?”
You’d like that, you freak. “I’m gonna make you dinner, weirdo.”
“I’m testing out of another class this week. I’ll let you know when that’s over,” Wren said, draping his arms over Blair’s shoulders
Blair narrowed his eyes. “You better tell me how your exam goes this time!”
“Fine. What are you doing, by the way?” Wren asked.
Blair didn’t realize he was doing anything until Wren asked and he found his fingers lightly running down Wren’s back through his jacket, over the places he’d scratched earlier. He felt himself turn bright red when he said, “Nothing. I just… I know you wanted it and everything, but I hope I didn’t hurt you too bad.”
Wren rolled his eyes. “You worry too much.” He took Blair’s face in his hands, making it flush even hotter when Blair thought of the reason Wren no longer had his gloves. “Go inside.”
“Yeah, goodnight to you, too.”
His attitude was swallowed up by another kiss, and Wren’s back was already to him when he opened his eyes. He grinned and unlocked the apartment. Then he just stood there, watching the tall, retreating figure until a beeping sound reminded him he had to disarm the security panel. He shut the door and punched in the code. It felt silly, but he was already looking forward to the next time they saw each other. He got to cook for Wren, and the thought filled him with both nerves and anticipation. Even with Wren’s earlier words still hovering in the back of his mind.
Pain is the only thing that feels like something.
What did that even mean? He kicked his shoes off and sat on the couch, knowing he’d have to wind down before he was able to sleep. If Wren had said pain was the only thing that he could get off on, Blair would have figured him for a masochist and that would have been the end of it. The way he put it sounded like more than that. Blair considered the possibility that he couldn’t feel softer touches, maybe had some weird nerve thing going on. Or maybe it was a mental thing and he just didn’t get that turned on unless it was rough. He chucked his phone onto the cushion beside him with a sigh.
Blair saw a light flash in the corner of his eye; the blue notification light on his phone. He wondered how long he’d had an unread text message since he couldn’t remember the last time he had bothered to check. The chime that alerted him to new texts could have easily gotten lost in the background noise of the restaurant or gone unnoticed altogether after they’d got to their room.
He unlocked his phone and opened his messaging screen.
Spencer
Phantom shot up the bar.
Blood pounded in his ears. He read the message two, three more times before he processed it. His brain finally caught up and he pounded the phone icon next to Spencer’s name on the screen. It took a couple of tries before his shaking finger landed on it.
“Kennedy.”
“You could have tried harder to get in touch with me!” he yelled to Spencer’s calm greeting. He would have been a lot more likely to hear his ringtone than the single sound his phone made for a text.
“It’s not like the whole gang showed up. We had it under control,” Spencer said, so calmly that Blair wanted to throttle him.
Blaie clenched his fist on his leg. He was supposed to be at the front of the fights, but in his current condition he wondered how much use he even was to Incindious. “Is anybody hurt?”
“Just my bar.”
Blair sagged against the back of the couch as his panic subsided. Thank fucking god everyone was still in one piece. “How bad is it?”
“Pretty bad. I’d steer clear of it for now, but we’re at Julian’s place if you want to come meet up with us here.”
“I’ll be there in twenty.” He hung up and stared at the ceiling. His apartment was fucking cursed. He swore if he was there for more than ten peaceful minutes, he was bound to get a phone call or a visit to his door that had him running off to deal with an emergency. “I’m gonna move,” he muttered, getting to his feet.
Traffic wasn’t bad that time of night, so he was right on time when he threw the kickstand of his bike down in front of Julian’s building. It was small, housing only eight apartments; likely because they were monstrous in size. He took the stairs as quickly as he could with his leg screaming in protest and knocked on the door to the second floor apartment.
Julian opened the door with a weary smile. “Come on—Woah.” His eyes dropped and then widened. Then he started to laugh, loud and fake. “Look at you, all dressed up and nowhere to go!” He yanked his scarf off and wrapped it hurriedly around Blair’s neck.
Julian pulled him inside and leaned down to his ear as Blair passed him. “Do not touch that scarf,” he whispered fiercely.
All Blair could do was nod, as Spencer had just surfaced from the bathroom. He looked like he had just splashed water on his face, a few wet strands of hair still clinging to his face. “If Felix is going to stick it out at the bar then I guess I better head back, too.” Spencer stopped in front of Julian. “Our addresses shouldn’t be listed anywhere Phantom can access them but I’m going to leave Blair here with you just in case they try anything else.”
Julian crossed his arms. “I don’t like fighting but I’m not totally helpless.”
“Call it the buddy system, then. Just stay put and stay safe, okay?” Spencer ran a hand over the top of Julian’s hair and melted his scowl into more of a pout.
Blair stepped out of the way of the door, but not before he said, “I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner. With everything going on, I should have kept a better eye on my phone.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like anyone had time to call you once shots started getting fired, and by the time it was over you couldn’t have done anything. Keep this one out of trouble and let’s call it even.” Spencer threw him a smile before letting himself out of the apartment.
Julian had already folded himself onto the couch. Blair sat on the other end and put his feet on the mint green ottoman. There was no questioning that the apartment belonged to Julian. It was cluttered with expensive things that lined the shelves or closets just because they were expensive, and the walls were covered in art depicting various eras of fashion.
Speaking of soft, “What was with the scarf attack?”
“Well your neck looks like you were maimed by a wild animal, and Spencer would have had a field day giving you grief for it.” Julian grinned and scooted closer. “So, tell me all about it.”
Blair rubbed the back of his neck, his face flaming at the thought of telling Julian all about it. “I went out with Wren.”
“And?” Julian prompted.
“And…” Blair took a deep breath, feeling like he was making a far greater admission than he actually was. “And I like him.”
To his surprise, Julian didn’t press him for any more details than that. Julian’s brown eyes sparkled as he favored Blair with a warm smile. “Good for you. I don’t care what the other two sticks-in-the-mud say, it’s nice to have some companionship.”
Blair huffed and ran his fingers over the matching throw pillow squished between him and the arm of the couch, idly plucking at the white fluff. He was glad Julian didn’t push for anything more. Blair wasn’t sure he could elaborate on the strange relationship he’d found himself in, even if he wanted to.
“Hey, Blair.”
He glanced over at the suddenly serious tone to find an equally somber expression on Julian’s face. “Yeah?”
“I admire your devotion to Incindious. Really, I do. But… and don’t you ever tell anyone I said this, but don’t give up your life for it.”
“Where the hell did that come from?” He didn’t mean to sound angry but if this was leading up to someone making him choose, he wasn’t about to walk away from Incindious. He’d committed his life to the gang as soon as he got the mark on his body. He saw Julian’s eyes fall and tried to take the edge out of his voice. “Did you have to give something up?”
“Guns and violence have never been my thing. Who knows what I would be doing if I wasn’t in this gang, but I could never leave. I would be leaving my heart behind. I’m just saying you’re still young and this is a hard life.”
He heard the thickness in Julian’s voice and started to feel the impact of his words. “You’re saying I should get out.”
“People are getting crippled and dying, and it’s only going to keep getting worse. It’s getting dangerous.” Moisture gathered in Julian’s eyes. “It’s getting scary. I’m scared. I may be in way too deep to get out, but you, and Marie, she’s so young— ” He broke off with a choked sound and pressed his hand over his mouth like he could shove the emotions back inside.
“It’s gonna be okay. We just have to stick together and we can beat Phantom,” Blair assured him. “Besides, you guys are my family. I’m not gonna take off as soon as shit gets hard.”
Julian sniffled but smiled. “You’re stubborn. It’s no wonder you fit in with us so well.”
You fit in. Blair mirrored his smile, hearing what he had seldom ever been told. He grabbed the remote off the end table and turned the TV on. Julian could fall into a funk when he was down like this, but Blair knew he could salvage his mood with Gossip Girl reruns. He plastered the most relaxed expression on his face that he could while Julian’s words crawled under his skin. It wasn’t the dying and the shootouts that scared him, but seeing the person who always smiled and stayed optimistic start to break down, that was fucking terrifying. Especially now that Blair had something more than just Incindious to lose.