Chapter 10 #2
Would he mention her to his mother Gytha wondered? If so, would he tell her that they had kissed?
“Will you play a game of dice?” she asked, asking the first thing that came to mind. Their meal was finished but she wasn’t ready to go to bed yet.
To her surprise, Haakon stilled, as if afraid of giving an honest answer. Why? What had she said?
“I would. Only…”
“Only?”
“I’m afraid I’m a very sore loser. And I’m not sure I want you to see this side of me I’m not proud of.”
Gytha arched a brow. This could have sounded like he was teasing her but she had the feeling he was deadly serious.
He was loath to have her think less of him.
How odd, when it had seemed the least of his worries up until that day.
But he had nothing to fear. She would never hold something as insignificant as losing at dice against him, not after all he had done for her.
That man had come to her and Eadhild’s aid that first day, he made her feel special every time they met and he had saved her from Oswald only that morning.
He was allowed to lose at dice and show his disappointment.
“Are you saying you would actually hurt me if you lost?” she challenged, knowing that was not what he’d meant at all.
“No!” Haakon recoiled in horror. “I would never hurt you, for whatever reason!”
“I didn’t think so. So there is nothing to fear.
I can make my peace with seeing a man grumble.
Besides, there is an easy way to ensure I don’t see anything you’re not comfortable with me seeing,” she said with a shrug aimed at conveying a lack of interest she didn’t feel. “Just make sure you win every time.”
The smile he threw her was dazzling. “Yes, I could do that, couldn’t I?”
He did. And because Gytha was far too distracted to play as well as she could, he did win more than his share of games.
The few times he lost, she enjoyed seeing the battle between his pride and his will not to appear ridiculous.
It was endearing, really, a side of him she was glad to have seen.
In truth, she was starting to wonder if there was a side of him she wouldn’t like.
At one point, he took one of the wooden dice in his hand and turned it this way and that in front of his face, examining it closely.
She could not take her eyes from the long fingers, captivated by the way they handled the small object.
He was wearing a thick but finely chiseled silver ring on his left forefinger, something she had not seen any other man do.
It only added to his masculine appeal. In fact, it was probably the most shockingly erotic adornment she had ever seen on a man.
But, of course, with a goldsmith for a father, it was not surprising he would wear jewelry.
She had heard about the Norse custom of wearing arm rings from Eadhild and she started to wonder.
Was Haakon wearing one? Could she ask him?
Was it wise? What if he showed it to her?
How would she react? She had the awful impression she would reach out and stroke it.
And she would likely not stop there. Once her fingers were on him, she might—
He spoke, shaking her out of her lewd reverie.
“These must be as old as I am, and in much worse condition.”
Definitely. He was a man in his prime whereas the poor dice were ready to crumble to dust. The edges were no longer sharp, the corners had been smoothed away and the numbers were barely discernible, but she had no others they could have used.
“I’ve been meaning to replace them but as soon as I put them away I forget about it and only remember when it’s time to play. In other words, when it’s too late.”
The blue in Haakon’s eyes gleamed. “I have the same problem with my cloak. Every time I put it on, I remember there is a tear along the bottom seam. I swear to myself I will repair it but as I need the cloak on the instant, I don’t do anything about it.
Then by the time I remove it, I’ve forgotten all about the gaping hole.
It’s been months and I’ve yet to do anything about it. ”
Yes. Sometimes life was like that. You always pushed back the chores you thought were easy enough to do, and only made the effort to tackle the bigger projects.
“How about one last game?” she asked. “I’m sure the dice will survive another evening of play.”
“I’m sure they will.”
They played another few games, drank another cup of ale each, but then there was no putting the inevitable back any longer. It was time to go to bed.
“Where are you going to sleep?” Gytha asked, rolling the oldest die between her thumb and forefinger. She had been pondering that question all evening.
I’m going to sleep in your bed with you tight against me.
The answer flashed through Haakon’s skull. But of course he could not say that. He could not do that, lie down with Gytha tucked tight against him. Because then he would make love to her and tonight was not the night to do that.
Or any other night.
He leaned back on his chair, took in a deep breath and answered as calmly as he could. “Probably in the corridor in front of your door.”
Gytha looked at him with the same expression as if he’d said he would go roll in the mud with the pigs. “But you can’t do that!”
“I can and I will. I need to be as close to you as possible, in case I have to intervene. That is why I’m here tonight,” he reminded her—and himself. He was here to ensure her safety, not to seduce her.
“I think you and my father are being over cautious. I mean, Oswald has been sent away, I doubt he will want to—”
“I care not,” Haakon cut in with a gesture of the hand. “Your father entrusted you to me and I will not let anything else happen to you.”
With those words, he leaned forward again, reaching across the table to cup her bruised cheek in his palm. It felt as soft as silk and fragile as a bird, and yet she had not complained about the pain once. How could anyone be so strong and so delicate at the same time? It was a mystery.
“If you’re sure,” she breathed, placing her hand on top of his.
“I’m sure. If you can spare a fur for me?”
He could see she wanted to say something, and that it would not be an answer to his question.
Was she about to offer that he should sleep with her?
Mad as it was, he had the impression that was what she wanted him to do.
He knew she was not the shy kind. So, would she be brave enough to speak out?
His groin twitched at the thought of lying next to her and his nostrils flared. A groan escaped his lips.
Gytha’s eyes widened and she took her hand from his.
Damnation, he had frightened her with the proof of his rampant lust. Even supposing she had been really tempted to ask him to sleep in her bed, she would not now.
He had ruined everything, by being his usual boorish self.
His reaction would have reminded her of Oswald, who had wanted to take her regardless of her wishes.
Haakon forced himself to let go of her cheek and sit back. At least, once again, she had not fled the room in panic.
“I think I can even spare a blanket for you,” she whispered.
“Thank you.”
It would have to do. And a cold, hard floor was nothing less than he deserved for making her fear he would pounce on her.
She walked out the door and a moment later reappeared in the hall with one piece of fur and one sizeable blanket under her arm. “Here you are.”
Instead of taking what she was holding, he asked, “Are you sure you have enough left for yourself?” He would not have her shivering all night.
“Yes. Worry not.”
So it was done. Gytha shut herself in her room while he lay on the fur on the floor, and settled himself against her door. No one would be getting in without waking him up first. Not that he felt about to fall to sleep any time soon.
Knowing she was just over the other side of the door, lying down in bed wearing nothing more than a thin shift was unsettling.
Or perhaps she slept naked, at least in the warm months, as he did at home?
That thought did little to help him relax and he doubted Gytha was finding it any easier.
After having slept away most of the day, she would not be tired.
Was she even now tossing and turning in bed, thinking of him?
Was she reconsidering asking him to join her in the warm bed? Would he accept if she did?
A snort. As if that was even a question.
If she did offer, he would be up on his feet before she had time to finish the sentence. And then there would be no stopping him.
Haakon sighed and gritted his teeth. Despite having had barely any sleep the night before, it took him a long time to fall asleep.