Chapter 19
The whole village rejoiced in the safe return of Osberga and started to plan a banquet to celebrate. Everyone had heard of Matilda’s plight and was delighted to see mother and daughter reunited at last.
None more so than Wolf.
“Tomorrow I’ll send Sven to go find your father, wherever he is. After all he’s done, he needs to take part in the celebrations. He also needs to be told you’re restored to health and ready to go home at last.”
Gytha stilled. She was restored to health, admittedly. But was she ready to go back home? She was not so sure.
After having lived with Haakon for over a week, been looked after by Cwenthryth and reassured Inga, she felt like a member of the community.
And it was wonderful to be near her best friend again.
Yes, she thought ruefully, she could easily find a place here, among people who were grateful to her and thought her brave and capable.
Sven arrived with her father just as night was falling. As soon as she saw him, she threw herself into his arms. “Father!”
“Gytha, thank God.” He tightened his arms around her. “I arrived back home this afternoon, only to find a message claiming you were poorly. Before I had time to panic, Sven arrived, telling me all was well. What happened? Was the message a mistake?”
“No. I was quite ill for a few days. But I’m better now, as you can see.”
He drew back to examine her critically. “Mm. You do appear changed.”
Heat invaded Gytha’s cheeks. Something had changed since the last time her father had seen her. Would he see that she had become a woman? What would he say to her if he knew? To Haakon?
But she quickly saw that she had nothing to fear. Her father did not suspect anything, he only seemed interested in assuring himself she was well and whole, and she was able to lay his worries at rest on this account. She was better, even if she had likely lost some weight in the last week.
“Are you looking forward to the banquet tomorrow?” she asked, intent on changing the subject. “I’m so happy for Matilda and Osberga. I have to say, I was starting to doubt they would ever find each other.”
“Yes, so was I. I don’t mind admitting it now. But all’s well that ends well.” He smiled at her. “Will you excuse me a moment?”
“Of course.”
Haakon tensed when the reeve walked over to him, decision etched all over his face.
Had he guessed what had transpired between him and his daughter? Was he about to remonstrate with him for what he’d done, amusing himself with his virgin daughter without a thought to what would happen afterward? He couldn’t even blame him if he was.
“Haakon.” Elstan stopped in front of him. “I think you know why I’m here.”
Did he? He thought he might, but just in case he was wrong, he waited, because he could not very well say: “Yes. You’re here because you know I’ve fucked your daughter and you’re angry.”
Except…was that what he had done, fuck Gytha? Strictly speaking, yes. And yet it had felt like so much more. What exactly, he still wasn’t sure.
“I would like to thank you for what you did for Gytha,” her father said before Haakon could ponder on what that night in the shepherd’s shed had really felt like.
“You kept her safe during the trip to the village, then you took care of her while she was ill and helped her get better. I should have been here for her but I wasn’t.
So I’m very grateful for what you did. Again. ”
Oh.
Haakon blinked. Odd as it may be, a part of him had hoped the man would be outraged. Because then he might have forced him to marry the daughter he had deflowered. He stilled, shocked by the thought. Since when did he want to be forced to marry anyone? Such a union would never prosper, surely?
And hadn’t he sworn only a month ago that he would not marry a Saxon? Yes. So what was he doing, fantasizing about being shackled to a woman he had known for a month, who had openly said she didn’t want anything from him?
“It’s nothing,” he said more curtly than he’d intended. “She needed a place to get better, I was happy to give her that place. After what she did to reunite Osberga and Matilda it was the least I could do.”
“Yes. Though Sven told me on the way here that you had come back from the village empty-handed. The little girl was brought here by an old woman called Elfida?”
“Well, yes” Haakon admitted. Why had he made it sound as if Gytha was the one responsible for getting the little girl back?
Because he was ill-at-ease, facing the father of the woman whose virginity he had taken, that was why, and he was finding it hard to behave normally.
“But she still helped with the investigation and she was the one who suggested we went to the village. Without that, Elfida would never have known where to bring Osberga back.”
“Of course. I’m so proud of her.”
“You can be. She was very brave.”
She had been more than brave. She had possibly saved his life that night with the musicians. Not that he would mention it. Gytha might prefer to keep the incident a secret from her father, as well as the moment of passion they had shared in the shepherd’s shed.
That night had changed her. But he was starting to wonder if it had not changed him as well.
Just then a voice called him. “Haakon, can you come here a moment, please?”
“If you’ll excuse me, I had promised to go see my sister,” he told Elstan, seizing on the ready excuse.
But when he reached Rowena and heard what she had in mind for him, his heart sank in his chest. She had enlisted his help to go with Thorfinn and Halfdan to the next village to get back a few heavy tools Magnus had lent the smithy a few days ago.
Given the late hour, they would have to spend the night there.
He had hoped to find a moment alone with Gytha before she left for town.
Now, between this delay and the banquet, he wasn’t sure he would be able to.
With her father constantly by her side, Gytha found it impossible to see Haakon in private.
He had only come back late that morning, having spent the night away.
Knowing her departure was drawing nearer, she started to panic.
Would she have the opportunity to say goodbye to him properly?
After all they had been through together, it seemed the least they deserved.
But what would she tell him? Did she even want this parting to be a real goodbye? She didn’t know.
She had told him as they had reached the village that she was not asking anything from him and she had even meant it.
He had been happy enough to accept her decision.
That could have been the end of it, but then she had fallen ill, he had taken care of her tenderly, she had spent a week in his hut—and everything had been turned on its head.
She’d had a glimpse of what living with Haakon the Norseman was like, and she had loved it.
How could she tell him she had changed her mind and might well want more? But more of what? She wasn’t even sure. Oh, but this was a mess. Better to concentrate on helping with the food for tonight.
She and Eadhild had volunteered to make a lamb stew and they worked all day in happy companionship. How she would miss her friend when she went back to town…yet another cause for concern.
“Here, all done. Now we wait for the magic to happen,” Eadhild said, placing the lid on the simmering pot.
“You’ve become very skilled,” Gytha observed, eyeing the tartlets filled with ground nuts and honey her friend had decided to add to their contribution. It was not doing her a disservice to say that cooking had never been one of her strengths.
“I have.” Eadhild laughed. “Because I’ve realized that it’s really not that difficult to make something tasty. Apparently all I needed to gain confidence was someone to appreciate what I do and thank me with bone-melting kisses.”
Yes. Gytha supposed that bone-melting kisses would make many everything better.
Toward the end of the afternoon, everyone made their way to the center of the village where trestle tables and stools had been set up around the well as was usual for special events.
Gytha sat with Eadhild and Halfdan at one end of a long table.
Her father had taken the place between Wolf and Sigurd, while Haakon was sitting next to his brother-in-law Thorfinn and opposite his sister.
This, unfortunately meant that he had his back to her.
Not only would she not be able to talk to him, but she wouldn’t see him either.
Apart from that, the banquet was a success, everyone eating and laughing in merry company. Matilda and Osberga, flanked by Inga and old Elfida, were at the center of attention and spoke to dozens of well-wishers.
Arne and Edita did cause a stir in the middle of the meal by announcing they intended to get married before the month was over.
While everyone clapped and shouted their congratulations, Gytha stole a glance in Haakon’s direction.
He had turned to face the couple so she could see him, for once.
There was an odd expression on his face.
Did he think, like her, that the moment was ill-chosen, a poor attempt at diverting people’s attention to them?
Probably. She didn’t think he was regretting having lost Edita, at least.
When the music started, she hoped Haakon would ask her to dance.
But he stayed where he was, arms crossed over his chest. She remembered how she had danced while the troop of musicians had played, imagining his gaze on her.
She would never dare dance this way here, in front of people who knew her, in front of her father.
And she didn’t fancy dancing for or even with anyone else.
So she used her recent illness as an excuse to refuse the few offers she received from men. No one but Haakon would do, but apparently, he was not interested. And tomorrow, she would leave.
She stood up, determined to go speak to him. At the same moment his father called out to him and led him to a group of men drinking in one corner. The opportunity was lost. Sick to her heart, Gytha sat back down.
After bringing her and Haakon together in an unexpected way, fate seemed to have decided that it was time for them to part ways. They had shared all she had meant for them to share, and that was all there was to it.
It was not long before she returned to Eadhild’s hut and burrowed under the furs her friends had prepared for her.
The following morning, her father announced that he had to go back to town and she couldn’t think of a single reason to delay their departure.
Eadhild was the first to hug her. Then it was Wolf and Merewen’s turn to offer their goodbyes. Finally, Matilda and Osberga both threw themselves into her arms at the same time, sobbing.
“Thank you, thank you so much for what you’ve done for us.”
“Please. It was nothing.”
Gytha was on the verge of tears herself, but she had the impression it had little to do with the gratitude they were showing her.
She stole a glance to the side of the hut.
Haakon, who, thank God, had actually come to see her off, had still not said a word.
He was saddling Bear, taking extra care, running his hands all over the horse’s legs and rump, as if in search of an injury they both knew wasn’t there.
If she didn’t know any better, she would have said he was giving the animal the caresses he wanted to give her.
Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking.
There was a strange lump in her throat. This time it was over.
With Osberga safe with her mother once more, there was no reason for the two of them to meet ever again.
She could always claim she wanted to visit Eadhild to come to the village of course but it felt disloyal to use her friend as a pretext to come see someone else.
“Goodbye, Haakon,” her father said, bringing an end to the painful moment. “And thanks again.”
“Yes. Thank you for everything you did for me,” Gytha murmured in turn. “During my illness and during the ride to the village.”
Would he understand the allusion to their night in the shepherd’s hut? Something flashed in his blue eyes, indicating that he had.
“It was my pleasure,” he murmured back.
Pleasure. At the word, everything within her dissolved.
Not only that but her insides felt as if they were wrenched apart. Yet she remained silent.
Where was the assured, brazen woman she had tried to be in his presence? Now was the time to call her back. She would make sure this parting was as it should be, make sure he understood her heart was breaking in two.
Gytha climbed onto her horse and rode away without a backward glance.