Chapter 17
fuck it
RILEY
Hayden’s kitchen is lifeless. Outside isn’t much better. This morning, the clouds hang low and heavy, like a dense blanket muting the sunlight.
I sit at the breakfast bar, hands wrapped tightly around my mug of lukewarm coffee.
The coffee is bitter, just like my thoughts.
Last night wasn’t particularly bad, especially after I finally stopped watching Hayden flirt with what felt like everyone. Nick’s company helped, and I didn’t mind getting to know him better.
But after Hayden joined us, the night went downhill.
It was painful to watch the color drain from his face when Nick brought up Owen, to see the way his hands trembled as he balled them into fists.
After that, I couldn’t imagine he’d want to stay, and I couldn’t ask him to just because I was having a good time.
So, I parted ways with Nick, and then I waited for Hade to return from the restroom.
I sip my coffee, barely tasting it as I replay our conversation in the car last night.
I snapped at Hayden when he mentioned me flirting with Nick.
The comment felt unfair, considering the way he’d spent the previous three hours, though once he explained himself, I couldn’t help but feel like an ass for jumping to the wrong conclusions so easily.
How I went from being pissed at him and myself to masturbating, imagining him holding the vibrator, is beyond me.
The whole thing played out like a movie in my head.
He opened my bedroom door, watching me from afar at first. Little by little, he moved closer until he was settled between my legs, his tongue playing with my clit.
My orgasm was so fucking strong, I had to hide my face in my pillow to muffle the sounds.
“Very mature, Riley,” I scold myself.
As I’m setting my now empty mug on the table, Hayden steps into the kitchen, wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt.
“Morning,” he rasps without looking my way.
Nervous butterflies flutter to life in my belly. “Morning. There’s coffee in the pot if you want.”
“Thank you.” Mug in hand, he climbs onto the stool across from me.
Only then does he meet my gaze. “Listen, about yesterday. I shouldn’t have asked about Nick.
You said you wanted to go home, and that should’ve been enough for me.
” He sighs, setting the mug in front of him.
“I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t ruin another night for you. ”
“Thank you for saying that.” I cover his hand with mine. He tenses slightly, so I pull back.
Shit. Looks like we’re back to square one.
“And don’t worry,” I say, ignoring the disappointment blooming inside me, “I had a nice time.”
He quirks an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yup. Watching you was fun. The way you control the crowd is impressive. It’s like you make them play by your rules without them even realizing it.” I smirk. “Though with the intense eye contact, I’m shocked no one leaned in and said, ‘So…what are we?’”
He frowns. “What are you talking about?”
I set my elbows on the table and angle forward, keeping my eyes locked with his.
I slowly lick my lips, and, like I knew it would, his gaze drops to my mouth.
Shivers run down my spine, a pleasant anticipation forming in my stomach.
When he saw me with Nick last night, I thought he might be jealous, though I realized it was wishful thinking.
But with the way he’s looking at me now, as if I’m a snack, I believe I’m onto something.
“So, what are we?” I tease.
He snorts, shaking his head. “Okay, now I get it.”
I settle back, relaxing in my seat.
He does the opposite. He holds me captive with his gaze, giving me an even more intense look than he did yesterday.
I shift, crossing my legs. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Isn’t this what you’re talking about? The look I was giving customers yesterday?” He arches a brow.
“Yeah,” I lie, my stomach flipping. “But for the record, a guy shouldn’t look at his best friend’s little sister like that.”
“You’re right,” he admits. “But”—his tone is suddenly husky, making my center throb—“trust me, you don’t want to know why.”
“Why not?”
He shakes his head. “Because it’s highly inappropriate.”
“I’m an adult. I can handle it.”
He stands, abandoning his coffee. “But I can’t handle it, Ry baby.”
Without allowing me time to respond, he’s gone, leaving me alone, my thoughts in total disarray. Something is shifting between us, I can feel it.
But clearly, he’s scared of our chemistry.
The question is, what happens once he stops being afraid?
I spend the rest of the day with Nastya and her family.
“I have something for you,” she says after dinner.
Her mom and sister are still adjusting to the time difference, so they went to bed shortly after we ate. Grant hung out with us for a little bit, but he’s been in bed for a while now too. He and Nastya talked me into staying the night, so my best friend and I are making the most of it.
“What is it?”
“Have a little patience.” She barely hides her smile. “I asked Ksyusha to buy it for you in Minsk.”
I press my hands together, silently clapping with my fingertips.
“I know how much you love these flowers,” she says, holding out a little box. “While they are not that common here, they are everywhere in Belarus.”
I open the box, and when I find a little forget-me-not pendant, tears spring to my eyes. It’s sparkly and elegant, making my heart swell.
I wrap my arms around Nastya’s shoulders and pull her in for a hug. “Thank you so much.” I sniffle. “You’re the best friend ever.”
“You’re so very welcome.” She hugs me back. “Love you, Ry.”
“I love you too.”
I don’t know what I did to deserve her, but I’ll be forever grateful to ballet and the New York School of Performing Arts for bringing us together.
I got back to Hayden’s penthouse around lunchtime on Sunday and found the place empty. He didn’t get home until almost 10:00 p.m., just as I was getting ready for bed.
“How was dinner last night?” he asks from my doorway.
“It was good. We stayed up way too late.” I chew on my cheek, nervous to ask the question on my mind. I go for it anyway. “Where were you today?”
“At Ines’. Santi got sick, and his babysitter wasn’t available. Ines called me so she could make it to an appointment.” He shrugs. “I said yes. I’m always happy to hang out with the little guy. And it’s good that she’s getting back to her routine. I wanted to encourage that.”
My chest warms. “You’re an amazing friend. She’s lucky to have you.”
A small grin lights up his face, but it quickly transforms into a yawn. “Sorry. I better get to bed. If I’m not careful, I might fall asleep right here.”
“Night.”
“Night, Ry.” He takes a step out of the room but instantly returns. “Any fun plans for tomorrow?”
“Just work. It’s the end of the spring semester, so my younger students are heading into summer break.”
His expression brightens. “Should we celebrate?”
I chuckle. “Maybe once all my classes are done, though I’m headed to Cali pretty soon after that.”
“Okay. How about ordering dinner and watching Arcane after work?”
“Sounds great. I should be home around six.”
“Awesome. It’s a date.” With a sleepy wink, he shuffles out of the room.
Heart stumbling, I rub my forehead. Did he really just say “It’s a date?” What is going on?
My five-year-olds have almost perfected their Sugar Plum Fairy dance. I count in my head as they finish. It’s everything I hoped for when class started in September.
“Well done, my sugarplums. I’m so proud of each and every one of you.” With an encouraging smile, I clap. “Keep practicing over the summer, but please don’t forget to enjoy your time off. I can’t wait to hear what you get up to when I see you in September.”
The little girls crowd me, hugging me one after another. I wrap my arms around their shoulders, wishing each one an amazing summer.
Once the room is empty, I pack up. If I leave now, I can be at Hayden’s place by six like I promised.
My heart gallops at all the possibilities tonight might bring. A rush of adrenaline surges through me, making me feel energized and awake. Though I’m trying not to get ahead of myself, his little “date” comment makes me giddy.
As I’m slipping my phone into my bag, a man clears his throat from the doorway. “Hi, Riley.”
Shit. Finance Guy.
“Hey.” I frown, my hackles rising. “What are you doing here? Rosie and your wife are already gone.”
He shuffles closer, scanning the room. When he’s a few feet away, he takes a deep breath and fixes his focus on me. “I’m sorry. What I did wasn’t fair to you or my wife, and it especially wasn’t fair to Rosie. I made a mistake, jeopardized my marriage, hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me.” I lift my chin and pull my shoulders back. “You just proved me right—I can’t trust men.”
He grimaces, slipping his hands into his pockets. “I swear I’m not that guy. I’ve never cheated on my wife, never—”
A loud scoff escapes me, making him fall silent. In my book, kissing someone who’s not your spouse would be considered unfaithful. So would heavy petting.
“But you made me lose my mind,” he whispers. “I didn’t even think about what I was doing. I just wanted more. And it was wrong.”
Irritation flares to life in my veins. Is he seriously putting some of the blame on me? “So if I wasn’t Rosie’s dance teacher, you wouldn’t have stopped seeing me?”
He lowers his head. It’s the only answer I need. Fucking asshole.
“You should leave.”
He steps toward me, coming too close. I take a step back, then another, my back hitting the barre. I’m not scared, but being this close to him disgusts me.
“Leave, Will,” I hiss.
“I-I have no right to ask you this,” he says pleadingly, “but can you please not say anything to my wife? Please. It would ruin my family.”
I snicker. “You almost fucked me in the back seat of your car, and now you’re worried about ruining your family?”
He puffs his cheeks, his face reddening. “It was a mistake. You were so willing—”
The anger in my blood turns to fury. “Get. Out.”
“Shit, I’m sorry—”
I skirt him and open the door wide. “Leave,” I say, my voice loud, “or I’m calling security.”
“Please, just don’t say anything to my wife.” He trudges to the door but stops at the threshold. “Please.”
“I won’t say anything to your wife, but not because you asked. I’ll do it for Rosie. She deserves better than this mess you’ve made,” I grit out. “Now fuck off.”
He nods and rushes out of the room.
With a long exhale, I shut the door. Then, I sag against the wall and slide to the floor. My body is trembling; my skin is damp and sticky. I’m so fucking disgusted. How could I have fallen for his bullshit?
It’s almost eight when I step out of the elevator. The altercation with Finance Guy left me with tense shoulders and a stiff neck. Not even the bouquet of roses I picked up for myself on my way to the penthouse cheered me up.
I slip out of my shoes then follow the sound of the TV and the scent of something spicy to the living room. It only now hits me that I didn’t text Hayden to let him know I’d be late.
The coffee table is littered with unopened containers from his favorite Thai restaurant, and he’s slumped back on the couch, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and nothing else. Only when I clear my throat does he acknowledge me, and even then, it’s only with a dull look.
“Hey. Sorry I’m late. I got sidetracked.” That’s putting it lightly, but I’m too exhausted to go into detail tonight.
Silently, he scrutinizes me, his attention lingering on the bouquet in my hands.
The way he scowls at me sends a shiver down my spine. What’s gotten into him?
“Hade?” I ask, my heart in my throat. “Is everything okay?”
“Where did you get the flowers?”
I blink, confusion swirling in my mind. “I bought them.”
His lips curl up on one side, but his expression remains flat. “For yourself?”
“Yeah. I always keep fresh flowers at home. I’ve been thinking about buying them for your place but haven’t had the time.”
He stands and prowls closer. His movements are slow, calculated, strange. It causes my anxiety to spike. I take a step back.
“Are you sure they aren’t from Nick? Or some other guy?”
Mouth open, I gape. First, I had to deal with the asshole who cheated on his wife and lied to me, and now, I’m being interrogated out of the blue by a guy who’s never even noticed me? I fucking hate it here.
I move around him and trudge toward the kitchen.
“Riley!” he barks, hot on my heels.
It takes all my willpower not to slap him across the face with the gorgeous flowers I’m clutching. I set the bouquet on the kitchen counter and turn, hands on my hips. “What do you want?”
“I asked you a question.”
“And I gave you an answer!” I throw my hands in the air. “I bought them for myself because I deserve them. So fuck off. You have no right to be possessive like this.”
He searches my face, his emerald eyes full of heat. “Fuck it,” he murmurs.
He steps into me, snakes an arm around my waist, and pulls me against him. My breath hitches as our chests collide. Lips parted, I gawk at him, but before I can ask him what the hell he’s doing, his mouth is on mine.