Chapter 28 Then We’re Keeping This Baby, Ry
then we’re keeping this baby, ry
RILEY
I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to leave this room. I don’t want to see Hayden. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to listen to him.
Yet, that’s exactly what I have to do, since we have an appointment with the doctor he chose. Hayden is an egocentric asshole. That was established years ago. His behavior isn’t surprising, just disappointing.
Sometimes, I swear, my life was designed to be torturous.
As I snag my phone from the nightstand, I consider bailing on the appointment at the fancy private clinic.
I consider packing my things, going all the way to the Hamptons to get my keys from Nastya, and leaving his sorry ass for good.
It’s tempting, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t feel bad about acting like a child throwing a tantrum.
Plus, the sooner I see the doctor, the sooner I’ll know for sure. Maybe I got a false positive. Three false positives. It seems hard to believe, but with my medical history, it also seems impossible I could be pregnant.
If I’m not, Hayden and I can go our separate ways, and I’ll do my best to pretend those two nights of passion never happened.
If I’m pregnant…well, it sure will complicate things.
We’ll have to tell our families, and I don’t know what my future at the dance studio will look like.
Despite the law, Adelaide, the owner, considered not hiring Nastya since she was already happily married.
Thus, in her eyes, she was likely to end up pregnant sooner rather than later.
Then, there are Hayden’s fans. Many left scathing comments under the band’s post that confirmed Owen and Ines had gotten married.
Bo’s wife has received death threats even though they got married before all the success.
If they knew the lead singer of Sabotage was going to be a dad, they wouldn’t rest until they knew my identity.
I don’t want that kind of fame.
A knock on the door stops my mental gymnastics. I glare at it, willing Hayden to leave me alone.
Instead, he knocks again. “Ry? Are you awake? We need to leave in about an hour.”
Annoyance flares to life inside me. “And?”
“How about breakfast?”
I get out of bed, stalk to the door, and open it wide. “I’m not hungry.”
He holds my gaze for a heartbeat. Then, his focus drifts to my neck, my chest, down my legs.
My skin heats, a pleasant rush of energy coursing through me.
Note to self: Next time you want to make a point, consider getting dressed first. Opening the door in nothing but a tiny nightgown is a no-no.
Even though I had him in mind when I bought it in Santa Clara.
“You look beautiful,” he murmurs in a husky voice, slipping his hands into the pockets of his gray sweatpants.
Butterflies erupt in my stomach as I take his words to heart. The mayhem inside me is out of control.
I cross my arms over my chest. “Thanks.”
“So.” He props his shoulder against the doorframe, sending his scent wafting over me. “How about breakfast?”
Tingles rush down my spine. “I’m not hungry.”
As if calling me a liar, my stomach chooses that moment to grumble. Thanks a ton, you traitor.
His lips tip up on one side. “I’m afraid I don’t believe you.”
I press my hands to his naked chest and gently push him back. “Go away. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
The laughter that spills out of his mouth is sinful. It makes my center throb. Ridiculous. Frustrated with him and myself, I close the door in his face.
Already, my patience is hanging on by a thread, and it’s not even 9:00 a.m.
The scent of freshly made coffee greets me halfway down the hall. I pause immediately, checking in with my body, worried I may need to make a run for the bathroom. So far, it’s all good.
Hayden sets a plate of avocado toast on the breakfast bar as I step into the kitchen. He crooks a lopsided grin, assessing me. “Decided to change your clothes?”
“Yeah, that nightgown is only for special occasions…and special people.” I shrug. “I pulled it out of my suitcase by accident last night and was too tired to look for something else.”
He arches a brow. “So…I’m not special?”
You could be. If you weren’t fighting battles I can’t win for you. If you still want me when you find your way out of them. “You’re not.” I climb onto the stool and set my elbows on the counter, resting my chin in my hands.
His lips twist. Then, with a shake of his head, he turns to the coffeepot. “If you’d rather have something other than avocado toast—”
“This is fine. Thanks.” I take a bite and chew slowly, paying attention to my body’s reaction. I’m still figuring out what triggers my morning sickness. So far, avocado toast seems to be safe.
Hayden sets a mug of coffee in front of me. “How do you feel?”
“I’m fine.”
“No morning sickness? No head spinning?”
“No. I’m fine.” I want to stay mad at him, but he’s making it hard, being so sweet.
“Okay.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “Piper never really mentioned morning sickness when she was pregnant with Hudson. Ines, on the other hand? Damn, it was brutal. Owen, the poor guy, had no idea how to help her.”
Suddenly, his eyes glaze over, as if he’s gone somewhere else. I watch him, wondering if he realizes he’s talking to me about his friend for the first time since his death.
“It’s a lottery,” I say quietly. “Some women have it, some don’t.
Sometimes, it’s triggered by something specific.
Other times, just about anything can bring on a wave of nausea.
A friend of mine didn’t have morning sickness, but she had motion sickness.
If she even walked too fast during her first trimester, she’d get nauseous. ”
His brows shoot up. “Really?”
“Yup. And the girl loved to walk fast, so it was her personal nightmare.”
Head thrown back, he laughs. “I had no idea it could be like that.”
“I don’t know a lot, but I do know no pregnancy is the same. So even though I’ve heard stories and learned tips, they may not apply to me. If I really am pregnant, that is.”
He lowers his mug, scrutinizing me. “You think you might not be?”
“I think I am, but drugstore tests aren’t a hundred percent accurate.” I bite my bottom lip, choosing my next words very carefully. “Considering my history and my thyroid problems, anything is possible.”
“How is your thyroid now? I vaguely remember you being sick, but I was still practically a kid. I wasn’t exactly listening attentively at nineteen.” He raps his fingers on the counter. “You could barely get out of bed, right?”
I nod. “It was scary. The symptoms were subtle at first. I’d be more tired after dancing, overly stressed about school.
When I was fourteen, it really hit. My muscles ached, and I couldn’t keep my eyes open in class.
It felt like my whole body was moving in slow motion.
I barely had the energy to walk down a flight of stairs, let alone dance.
I hated myself, hated my life, hated everything. ”
He tilts his head. “It took a while for the doctor to figure out what was going on?”
“Correct. I went through weeks of tests, scans, and panic.” I lift one shoulder in a shrug despite the pang in my chest. “Piper really advocated for me. She found Dr. Stevens, my endocrinologist. Right away, he suspected I had Hashimoto’s disease. Autoimmune hypothyroidism. Bloodwork confirmed it.”
“What does that mean?” he asks over the rim of his mug.
“Basically, my immune system attacked my thyroid until it stopped doing its job. Dr. Stevens put me on levothyroxine, and within a couple of months, I was okay. I was able to dance again, even after a full day at school.”
“I’m really sorry you went through that, Ry baby.” He reaches for me as if he wants to cover my hand with his, but he pulls back before making contact and curls his fingers around his mug instead.
I’m relieved. I’m not sure I could handle him touching me.
“I’m so glad they figured it out and that you’re okay. That’s what matters.”
“Yeah. But it’s funny, you know? If not for my health problems and the financial strain, Piper and Hunter may not have fallen in love. She became Story’s nanny because she’d used her college fund to pay my medical bills, so she needed the money to pay her tuition.”
He scrubs a hand down his face. “Honestly? I think they would’ve ended up together no matter what. Those two are soulmates.”
Warmth settles in my stomach, spreading through my veins. It means a lot to hear him say that, to know he believes the same things I do.
That soulmates do exist.
Dr. Bell is in her forties, with soft eyes but a very businesslike voice. She asks me questions, makes notes, and nods when I tell her about my health problems.
“Okay. We’ll draw some blood,” she explains. “When was the first day of your last period?”
I check my calendar and rattle off the date. “I’ve taken two…three tests, and they were all positive.” I don’t look at Hayden, who stands quietly by my side. It’s easier that way.
“That puts you at about seven weeks. Let’s get the bloodwork done first.” She gestures for me to follow. “We’ll be back soon,” she says to Hayden over her shoulder.
One blood test later, I sit on the exam table with my hand pressed to my mouth. After being told time and again I’d never have children, I was afraid to hope. Now, I know anything is possible. The blood test confirmed it.
That hope, though, is mixed with worry, considering who my baby daddy is and the unexpected nature of the revelation.
Dr. Bell returns, this time with Hayden in tow. When he sees me, he frowns and heads straight for me.
“You okay?” He wipes a tear from my cheek.
Before I can respond, Dr. Bell warns me pregnancy can affect my thyroid hormone levels, especially in the first trimester. She says she wants to have a full thyroid panel done.
“If your TSH is above the recommended range, we’ll adjust your levothyroxine dose.
It’s not uncommon. Many women with hypothyroidism need a higher dose during pregnancy, so don’t be surprised if that’s the case.
” She smiles. “Continue taking your levothyroxine on an empty stomach, but you’ll need to wait at least four hours after that to take your prenatal vitamins.
The iron and calcium can block the absorption of levothyroxine. ”
I open my mouth to reply, but Hayden beats me to it. “Got it.”
The fluttering in my stomach transforms into a floating sensation. He looks so concerned, so sincere.
“We’ll repeat the bloodwork every four weeks for now, to make sure you and the baby are doing well.”
“Thank you so much.” The words are barely out of my mouth when an unexpected sob escapes. “Sorry.”
Hayden takes my hand and ducks so we’re eye to eye. “Is everything okay?”
I nod, though I can’t keep my lips from trembling and tears from welling in my eyes.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He strokes my wrist with his thumb.
“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Dr. Bell says as she shuffles for the door.
When we’re alone, I whisper, “I’m pregnant.”
“Yeah, I gathered that.” His expression softens. “And how do you feel about it now that you know for sure?”
“I-I don’t know… I never thought I’d have a baby. Not after what I’ve been told…”
The corners of his mouth turn down. “What do you mean?”
I pull my hand out of his grip and wipe a tear from the corner of my eye.
“When my thyroid tanked, my period went completely off the rails. I could go months without it, and then, when it showed up, it would be hell. So, Mom took me to a doctor.” I suck in a breath.
“She told me that, with my issues, I’d be lucky if I ever got pregnant. ”
His jaw goes slack. “What? She told you that when you were fourteen?”
I shrug and swallow past a lump in my throat. It was all very clinical. She probably didn’t bother to think about how crushing it was for me to hear. “Even after my levels stabilized and I had regular periods, the fear gripped me. I was sure I’d never have a child, and now…”
He steps closer and pulls me into his chest. “And now, you’re pregnant,” he whispers. “With our baby.”
I slot my head under his chin, desperate for his warmth.
“You’re not alone,” he murmurs. “I’m here. I’m with you, and I’ll always be here for you.”
His scent envelops me, the heat of his skin setting mine on fire. I lick my lips and tell him what I’ve wanted to say since yesterday.
“I want to keep it. I want to keep this baby.”
He leans back, eyes searching my face. Then, a beautiful smile spreads across his full lips. With a kiss to my forehead, he says, “Then we’re keeping this baby, Ry.”