Chapter 11
Harley’s leg bounced as she looked around the space. Unlike the last time she was here, it was completely empty aside from Lucifer, who stood by the elevators, way out of earshot.
Although she had been anxious to get out of the house, she craved the security that Hades’s home provided. Having all these extra precautions surrounding her as she moved around the city she grew up in put her on high alert. She felt like Drew might pop up at any moment and get her, and that made her uneasy. She didn’t think he would hurt her, but then again, she wasn’t really sure. Things had changed so much in the past few days, and the certainty of her future seemed so up in the air.
Hades stood beside where she sat at a table nursing a Sprite. She glanced up at him and noticed his broad arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face as he stared toward the elevators.
She took the moment to look him over, her body quaking just at the sight of him. His name may have come from the devil himself, but God definitely crafted this man. Veins bulged from underneath the various tattoos on his chocolate-colored skin. He stood with deep-rooted confidence, as if nobody could get past him unless he wanted them to.
“You see somethin’ you like, Tink?” Hades asked without even looking down at her, causing her to jump.
“Uh—”
For a brief second, she was glad she didn’t have to respond, because the elevator dinged, signaling the arrival of her sister. She wasn’t sure she was bold enough to tell Hades just how much she liked what she saw. The memory of his tongue familiarizing itself with her clit made her entire body heat up as she squirmed, but her focus shifted when she heard footsteps rushing toward her, snapping her back into the moment.
“Harley!” Cati cried out as she reached the table where Harley sat.
Cati reached out for her sister, but Hades pressed a large hand against her shoulder, causing Major to pick up his pace to reach his girl. Once he did, he pushed Cati behind him and stood toe to toe with Hades, something that rarely ever happened.
“Come on, man. You ain’t gotta put your hands on her.” The deep baritone of his voice reached Harley, and she slowly stood, not wanting to be the reason for conflict.
Her hand found Hades’s large bicep, but he didn’t react as he kept his eyes on Major and a mug on his face.
“You sure about this, man?” Hades asked calmly. Any man that stepped to him was an automatic threat, and every member of the Obsidian Riders knew that. Hades asking Major if he was sure was a final warning before shit got ugly. He wanted to make sure Major was really sure.
Major shook his head before running a tatted hand down his face and pushing his locs out of the way. “Any other time, I would back down out of respect because you’re my boy, but you know how I’m coming behind Cati, man.”
Harley watched as Hades clenched his jaw, his fists balling up.
“Hey.” She tugged on Hades’s arm. “It’s okay. I came here to see my sister. She can touch me. You know what it took to get me here. Please don’t turn this into something else. Please,” she begged, tears gathering in her eyes.
The thought of seeing Hades fight someone felt scary to her. Her mind flashed back to him and Drew in her living room, and she honestly hadn’t been sure Drew would walk out of that alive. Hades lived up to his name when he was in that mode, and she didn’t care to see that side of him again. She had an eerie feeling that he would have no problem killing someone if it meant keeping the people close to him safe, and that thought sent chills down her spine.
“Major, stop, baby,” Cati pleaded from behind Major. “Y’all are not about to make this about you.”
Harley heard the emotion in her sister’s voice, and it made her heart crack wide open. Roughly, she pushed her way past Hades, and he let her go. She easily slipped behind Major and came face-to-face with her sister.
Tears fell down Cati’s face as Harley froze, suddenly unsure of what to do next. Hesitantly, Cati reached out her hand, and when Harley didn’t move and nobody tried to stop her, she placed her hand on Harley’s cheek and rubbed her thumb to wipe her baby sister’s tears. “I’ve been looking for you.”
It was the only thing she was able to get out before she broke down into sobs. Startled, Harley immediately pulled her sister into a hug and held her tightly. They stayed locked in the embrace for long minutes as they cried and clung to each other.
Hades and Major had finally stopped staring each other down and focused on the sisters, captivated by the emotion filling the room.
Harley finally guided Cati over to a chair. Once her sister sat, she kneeled in front of her and looked up into her eyes, silently pleading for forgiveness. Cati leaned forward and pressed her forehead into her little sister’s, her short, sleek bob falling forward and brushing against Harley’s cheeks.
They stared into each other’s eyes as Harley finally found her voice. “I’m sorry.”
Her voice cracked, and she moved to look away from Cati, the shame and guilt she felt pushing forward and rearing its ugly head.
“Stop,” Cati whispered. “Look at me, Lady Bug.” That name caused Harley to break down once again. She bent her head and pressed it against her sister’s lap, appreciating the black leather pants for cooling her face, if only for a moment. She suddenly felt really hot and on the verge of a panic attack. Facing her sister felt like admitting she was a failure. It felt like being faced with her biggest mistake and her biggest regret and asking for forgiveness. She didn’t know what to say or how to act. This feeling right here was exactly why she stayed away. It was easier for her to numb those feelings and keep Cati at bay. “Harley.” Cati’s voice held so much emotion, but authority rang through it, causing Harley’s head to pop up. “You did nothing wrong.”
Harley’s puffy eyes squinted as her head tilted. She tried to understand what her sister said, but her body, mind, and soul rejected the words. “No… I-I did. Cati, I didn’t help you. I should have told someone. I should have talked to Mama and made her do something. I?—”
“Stop it, Harley.” Cati’s voice elevated, and her eyes were wide. “Is that what you think? That you could have stopped that man from violating me?”
“I could have.” Harley muttered, feeling the weight of her words pressing down on her. She could have helped. She could have done more. She should have done more.
Cati shook her head. “You don’t think I tried?” Tears rolled down Cati’s face as Harley stared at her.
Harley’s head pounded from all the crying as she shook her head. “I’m not saying that. I?—”
“No, Harley. Stop. I need you to stop and listen to me. I tried, honey. Do you remember that time I was badly beaten and out of school for three weeks, and you had to tell everyone I was sick?” After Harley nodded, Cati continued. “I know you thought Knox did that, and I let you think it because I didn’t want you to realize we were living with two monsters. I never even wanted you to know just how evil Knox was. You only found out because you walked in on us that one time.”
Cati choked on her words as Harley closed her eyes and tried to shake the image out of her head. She had been young, but the image was burned into her head. Cati’s body was so small, and their father’s body was so big… Even then, it looked so wrong.
“Cati…”
“Let me finish. The older I got, the worse the abuse got, and I finally said something to Dakota,” Cati admitted, speaking of their mother. She had started calling them by their first name when she was really young, a way to dissociate from them. “She was the one that beat me, Harley. Not Knox. She beat me so badly for speaking such foul words, as she said.
“It was then I realized there was no way out of the hell I was living in. I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t leave you because I knew he would only go after you if I was gone. It took me a few months, but after I lost all hope in Dakota, I finally told one of my teachers from school. Everything happened quickly after that, and we were separated.
“The day Knox died in prison from AIDS, I wanted you. I needed you. I wanted to cry and to celebrate and to hurt with the one person who would feel some of my pain, but you weren’t there. When Dakota died a few years later, I only went to her funeral because I thought you might be there. I tried to find you, Lady Bug, but it was like you didn’t want to be found. Why? Are you mad at me?”
Harley shook her head wildly as she lifted slightly and sat in a chair next to Cati, reaching out for her hands. She gripped them tightly as she tried to gather her words. She knew she needed to be brave in this moment, but she didn’t know how. She never knew how to be brave when it came to her sister, and that bothered her. She wanted to change that, and coming to see her was the first step. She knew if she was going to do something, she couldn’t half-ass it.
After taking a deep breath, Harley tried to keep her voice steady as she spoke. “No, Cati. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself. I’m ashamed of myself.” Cati opened her mouth to interrupt, but Harley squeezed her hands. “Let me get this out. I never wanted to make your abuse about me. It’s not about me at all, but the guilt I feel surrounding it is suffocating.
“You spent your childhood in pain and still protecting me, while I stood by and did nothing. You told a teacher after years and years of abuse when I should have told them as soon as I found out.”
“Harley, you were a baby. You barely understood what was happening?—”
“But I knew my sister was in pain, and I did nothing about it. I didn’t protect you, Cati. I should have gone to Dad and offered myself?—”
“Listen to me,” Cati said with so much conviction, Harley’s mouth snapped shut. “In no world or lifetime would I have ever allowed you to do that. Do you understand me? None of it was your fault, and it was not your burden to bear. It was mine.
“You are not a failure for not protecting me. Our parents were. That’s it. If your guilt is what kept you away from me all that time, then I need you to get over it.” Harley’s brows pulled in as she tried to reject the idea of simply letting go of her guilt, but before she could speak, Cati continued. “I’m serious, Harley. You need to get the fuck over it. You are entirely too important to me to let misplaced guilt be the reason you aren’t in my life.
“I don’t care how selfish this is. If you love me, Harley, then you will let that shit go and stay. Stay because I need you. And I know you need me. I can see it all in your eyes that you haven’t allowed life to be good to you. If I can let go of what our parents did to me, then you can let go of some shit that isn’t even yours to possess.”
Tears clouded Harley’s vision as she blinked rapidly. “I don’t know how,” she finally admitted. “Letting that go feels like I’m accepting what happened to you, and I can’t accept that.”
Cati stood and tugged Harley up with her. They stood at the same height and bore the same smooth chocolate-colored skin and thick, jet-black hair. They both wore their hair straight, but Harley’s was much longer than her sister’s. She liked Cati’s sleek cut though. It really suited her and gave her an edge. Harley noticed that Cati had an air of confidence surrounding her, and she couldn’t understand how . How was it that her sister was able to walk through life as though her childhood wasn’t hell?
Cati pulled Harley into her and stroked her hair like she used to do when they were young. “It’s already done, Harley. You have to learn to accept it. It’s a part of me. It’s a vile, shitty, disgusting part of me, but it’s still a part of me. You can’t accept me as a person if you can’t accept my past, and I need you to accept me. I need my sister.”
Harley nuzzled into Cati’s neck and sobbed. The older Cruz sister always had a way of explaining things to Harley that made the most sense to her. Harley idolized Cati when they were young. She was always so strong, confident, and brave—all things she wanted to be but qualities she never possessed. It seemed Cati hadn’t changed much, and that made Harley happy. She was glad life’s harsh realities hadn’t messed her sister up.
She loved Cati so much, though her selfish ways may not have always shown that. She didn’t go to her mother’s funeral mostly because she didn’t want to see her mother, but she also thought Cati might be there, and she didn’t want to face her. She had loved her fiercely from afar, but hearing Cati tell her that she needed her little sister sparked something in her. She never felt needed before, and Cati may not have realized it, but anything she wanted from this point forward, Harley would give her.
Guilt was a motherfucker, and just because she was about to promise to let the guilt go, all it was really going to do was shift into something new. Eventually, she would have to tackle that, but for now, she was dead set on giving her sister what she wanted. So when she pulled away from the embrace, she whispered, “I accept you.”
Cati’s smile broke Harley’s heart while healing her all at the same time. If she had known Cati had wanted a relationship with her so badly, she may have done this a lot sooner. She just assumed Cati hated her for not standing up for her, and Harley wouldn’t blame her. But that wasn’t the case, and Harley knew she had a lot to unpack when she had some alone time.
“Can you come to my place so we can catch up? I’m not ready to let you go yet, and I don’t really feel like the underworld is the place to have a proper reunion.” Cati spoke fast, like she couldn’t get her words out quick enough.
Harley offered her a shy smile for the first time, but before she could respond, Hades stepped up and placed a hand on Harley’s waist. “She ain’t going nowhere but home. Y’all can kick it here for a bit longer, but she’s already been out most of the day.”
Harley’s mouth dropped open in shock at the fact that Hades just denied her sister, while Cati looked between the two with worry flooding her expression.
Cati spoke up first before anyone else could. “It’s okay. Can I just have a moment with my sister?”
Hades frowned, and Harley elbowed him hard in his ribs. She normally wouldn’t be that bold, but she was currently pissed. She had just reunited with her sister, and she wanted nothing more than to spend the night—hell, several days—with her, but she knew there was no arguing with Hades. That didn’t mean she couldn’t be pissed at him.
Harley grabbed Cati’s hand and pulled her over to the bar so they could get a bit of privacy. As soon as they were out of earshot of the men, Cati lowered her voice and asked, “Are you and Hades a thing?”
“What? Uh… no,” Harley said, unsure of what they were doing, exactly.
Cati peered at her before her eyes dropped to the obsidian ring on her finger, letting Harley know this wasn’t the first time she peeped it. Pretty quickly, Harley understood that Hades was known for his obsidian ring. Eris told her it costed him several thousands of dollars, and it made Harley wonder how much hers went for.
Cati held her sister’s gaze for a moment longer, causing Harley to squirm, before pulling her in for a hug. “Just be careful with him, Lady Bug. He’s a big ass bully, and a lot of time has passed, but I still know my sister. You are one of the purest, sweetest souls I have ever met. Don’t let him taint you.”
When they pulled away, Harley had a frown on her face as her sister’s words repeated in her head on a loop while she looked over at Hades. He looked at her hungrily, like she was his possession, and though a small spark of fear shot through her, devilish curiosity won out. Though she found herself pissed at him for breaking up her reunion with her sister, she doubted she would stay mad for long, because she remembered what he said about being ready for tonight, and a part of her really hoped he followed through on those words.