Chapter Thirty-One
Raven
Nothing. Hades had the chance to tell the truth to my brother’s face and he said nothing. He had the opportunity to prove that I was wrong about his hesitation, about his priorities, and all he’d done was prove me right. I never wanted to be wrong so much in all my life.
He was either a coward or really good at faking emotions he didn’t feel. Had never felt.
“Hey, you okay?” Hollywood joined me and wrapped a big, muscular arm around me, guiding me around the side of the giant mansion.
“No,” I answered with a sigh. “But I will be. Eventually.” Right now my heart was in so much fucking pain I could hardly breathe, but I knew it would get better. Pain always did… in the end.
Hollywood flashed his impossibly beautiful, yet sympathetic smile at me when we reached the front of the house. “You sure you don’t wanna wait for Hades? Or Falcon?”
My lips twisted into a bitter laugh. “Nope. I’m good.
” I accepted the helmet he offered, fitting it on my head and snapping the clasp under my chin while he got settled on the seat.
When he gave me a short nod, I climbed on back and I didn’t look over my shoulder once.
Not for Hades or my brother, not for Viktor or Alexei.
Not for any of the men who had betrayed me or let me down in the past twelve hours.
“Hang on,” he shouted over the roar of the engine. “I’ll go fast enough that you forget your worries for a little bit.”
I didn’t think that was possible, but I did as I was told and held on tight as the bike took off like a rocket, leaving the mess of my former life behind. I should have felt relieved that this nightmare was over, and I was, but more than that I felt like I’d lost something more important.
I let out another heavy sigh while my mind stared, unseeing, at the world as it whipped by.
It’ll get better, I told myself with every mile we passed.
I didn’t just believe it, I’d lived it for the past few years.
Sure, the wicked shit Viktor did to me stuck with me, it probably always would, but every month it got a little easier to deal with.
The bruises healed. The wounds closed. And every night when I fell asleep each night, the dreams were a little less vivid.
Scenery whipped by too quickly for any details to settle in my brain and before I knew it, we were pulling into the clubhouse parking lot.
I was home. This place was the only real home I’d ever had since I was a kid. It was just too damn bad I couldn’t stay.
“Raven!” Macy’s voice called out and her small body slammed into me from the side before I looked up to seek her out. “Holy shit, girl! I’m so glad you’re okay.” Her hug was almost suffocating, but I sank into it, absorbing her warmth and her love.
“I’m fine, Macy. Promise.”
She pulled back and studied my face for a full minute.
Her eyes were wide with an emotion I couldn’t quite name.
“I’ll need a few more hugs before I can believe that, but you’re here and you’re in one piece.
” Macy hugged me again, this time tighter before she pulled back.
“You look like you lost your best friend.”
“Impossible,” I deadpanned. “She’s right here squeezing the life out of me.”
She laughed but it was more muted than I expected. “Okay fine, you look like you lost something else. Something that really fucking matters to you.”
I swallowed down a sob and nodded. “I’ll be okay, Macy.” If I said it enough times, I might actually believe it.
She tilted her head to the side as if that gave her a better angle to study me, before squeezing my shoulders. “Are you sure?”
“No, but I have to be because I don’t have any other choice.” Things were over with Hades. I was too angry to talk to Falcon. I was too big of a mess to deal with either of them, particularly when I had something else to worry about. “Can we talk later? I really would like to wash this day away.”
“Of course,” she screeched, wincing at her own volume. “Sorry, I just needed to hold you myself to know you’re all right. I’m so glad you’re safe, Raven.”
“Me too,” I whispered and then took off before she saw the tears I was too exhausted to fight any longer.
Tears fell like summer rain once I was locked inside my room, turning to sobs once I stepped under the hot, steaming spray of the shower.
I stayed in the shower, crying until the water turned icy cold.
When I stepped out, my mind was made up.
It was time to leave the safety of the Steel Demons clubhouse and the comfort of the familiar.
I’d caused the people here enough problems and I didn’t want to cause any more, on the off chance that Viktor’s successor showed up to make trouble.
And there was the small matter of the baby.
If I left, I could land someplace where nobody knew me and wouldn’t ask questions about the absent father.
I had a few dollars saved to help find an apartment until I found a job, which was my first order of business.
After I took a nice, long, dreamless sleep for the first time in years.