35. Landry
CHAPTER 35
landry
“So we’re sticking to the game plan, right?” Daisy asks when we drive up to her parents’ house. “No mistletoe today.”
“Right. Because we’re roommates and platonic friends,” I agree with a resolute nod.
“Friends who just happen to be married,” she mumbles under her breath.
“Right,” I say again, less confidently. “But no one needs to know that last part.”
“You do realize they’re going to ask us a million times if there’s anything else going on between us, don’t you?” she poses with another hint of sarcasm. “Especially once they see us interacting and looking so comfortable with one another.”
I shrug. “I figured as much. But we’ll just explain to them how we get along well, and that’s all.”
“Yeah, that’s all,” she whispers, and I can’t tell if she looks more angry, disappointed, or hurt.
“Daisy?” I call out before she reaches for her door. “Is everything okay?”
“Mm-hmm,” she murmurs unconvincingly and forces a fake smile, but I still see something in her expression that makes me suspect she’s got more on her mind than she’s letting on. Then again, after the last few weeks, I should probably be wary of asking her to divulge the rest.
Dammit.
I sigh and reach out for her arm, unable to ignore the compulsive need to know more. “You’re not being completely honest with me right now, are you?”
She twists her lips to the side before she answers. “Maybe not. But neither are you.” I straighten up in my seat and frown at her as she continues. “And I guess I’m feeling guilty about lying to my family. Withholding the truth about something this important feels an awful lot like a big, fat lie of omission, especially when I know we’re not just platonic roommates or friends who got legally married for the insurance benefits. We don’t just ‘get along well, and that’s all,’ do we?”
“No,” I choke out after a while. “But that’s all that was supposed to happen.”
“I’m so sorry to have inconvenienced you, then,” she mutters, and I hate the way I’ve been rubbing off on her.
“Daisy,” I say on another exhale. “That’s not what I meant. You … you know I care about you, right?”
She turns and stares out the window. “Yeah, I know.”
I look down and realize I’m softly stroking the back of her hand with my thumb. I’m not even sure when I took her hand in mine, but it seems like it’s become involuntary lately. She curls her fingers in and squeezes, and I like the way it feels so much that I pretend not to notice so we can continue the contact.
“Then you understand why it has to be this way, especially since I’m not sure your brother would ever forgive me for taking advantage of you. I can’t be responsible for driving a wedge between you and your family over Christmas dinner.”
“That sounds like the kind of cop out the old Landry would use,” she says quietly. “And you know Rowan would be supportive if you told him the truth. The problem is that you don’t want to face it yourself.”
“Look, I’m sorry,” I begin, my voice cracking again. “I don’t know how to be better. I’ve been trying, I swear, and you are the absolute last person I want to hurt.”
She scoffs but doesn’t say anything, so I continue, clasping her hand tighter, “I owe you more than you think, Blondie, and I never would have been able to start working on myself without your help. But I’m nowhere near the man you need me to be. Please try to understand why I can’t …” I shake my head, willing away the ache in my chest. “I just can’t allow it.”
She bites her lip and stares down at our intertwined hands. “I understand, even though I still think you’re wrong. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
I hum. “I do, too.”
“Then maybe I won’t stop trying until you do.” She shrugs and shoots me a smug look as she says the last part.
I can’t help it when a short laugh escapes, which only seems to boost her confidence, because she gives my hand one more squeeze before she turns and climbs out of the car. I sigh to myself before giving in and following her.
We both grab a share of the heap of presents from the backseat and stagger into the house where a handful of her nieces and nephews happily relieve us of our burden and begin stacking the gift boxes and bags in front of the Christmas tree in the living room. Her dad comes over next, kissing Daisy on the cheek and slapping me gently on the back when he gives out hugs. It’s not the first time I’ve been over for a LaFleur holiday event, so I’ve already prepared myself for their customary overly affectionate greetings. But when Mr. LaFleur adds that he’s so glad we’re both here today, I admittedly have to swallow the lump in my throat.
Daisy leads us into the kitchen to see her mom after that, and Mrs. LaFleur embraces each of us much the same, except she adds a kiss to my cheek as well. Then she holds us both at arms’ length and studies us carefully. “ Mais la . Aren’t they feeding you down there in Camellia? You’re both looking too maigre for my liking. Can’t either of you cook?”
Daisy and I trade amused glances when she presents the pies we stopped and picked up from the bakery on the way here. “I’ve been trying. But you’re looking at the world’s first home ec teacher who can’t cook anything beyond scrambled eggs,” she admits, and her mom chuckles.
“ Pas bon ,” Mrs. LaFleur replies and clicks her tongue. “I’ll have to send you home with the leftovers, I guess.” She pats Daisy’s butt. “Put some meat on that fesse .”
I snort out a laugh, though I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Daisy’s backside, and I’m redirected toward the living room while she gets a baking lesson. Rowan and his brothers are sitting with his dad where they’re flipping the TV channels to find a football game.
“Oh, hey, you guys made it. Thanks for driving Daisy over,” Rowan says, standing to shake my hand. There’s an instant tightness in my chest as I attempt to stifle my guilty conscience.
“Yeah, no worries,” I reply quietly. “I always enjoy a visit to the homestead.”
Rowan smiles and nods, oblivious to the fact that I’ve broken all of my promises, despite my best attempts. He may be the nicest guy on the planet, but I can’t imagine he’d be thrilled to hear that I’m technically his brother-in-law, much less that I’ve had to resort to reciting a list of childhood diseases in my mind to fend off the impulse to pull Daisy in and kiss her so hard she sees stars.
I heave out a guilty sigh and continue to greet the rest of the clan before I join Rowan on one of the couches. His brother Heath and I are chatting about the college football game on TV when Daisy appears, and I can’t help the way my eyes follow her as she walks over to sit beside one of her sisters. I force myself to look away, only to find Rowan watching me carefully. That pressure in my chest returns as the panic sets in.
Rowan continues staring at me, even after I pretend to turn my attention back to the conversation with Heath. I don’t know why I’m so worried about his reaction, since it’s not like he’s got a single mean or vindictive bone in his body. And Daisy was right before—Rowan wouldn’t hold it against me if I truly had feelings for her. But I gave him my word, and I can’t imagine disappointing him, not after all of the times he’s taken up for me or been the only person to tolerate me for the past fifteen years. I also know exactly how terrifying it is to watch your baby sister fall for the one guy you fear could hurt her the most.
“Wait, did I just hear Landry say he wanted to volunteer to be Saint Nick this year?” Rowan calls out loudly, a cocky expression plastered across his face.
I groan. “You must have mistaken my voice for Heath’s.”
“No, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t me,” the second-oldest brother declares.
“Come on, man,” Rowan continues. “Do it for the kids.”
I cringe. “Do I have to?”
“Yes, you do,” I hear Daisy’s voice ring out from across the room. “Landry Nicholas .”
I turn to face her, and she’s giving me those puppy-dog eyes, the ones she knows I can’t resist. I press my lips into a hard line, trying to save face and at least give Rowan and the rest of them the impression that I’m somewhat capable of holding my own against her.
“Fine,” I say flatly. “But I’ll need your help with some of the kids’ names.” Then I accidentally smile when she claps and squeals with delight. Rowan lifts a skeptical brow at me when I reluctantly stand and head over to the tree while Daisy climbs nimbly over the pile of children gathering on the floor around me.
“Want me to say the prayer?” she whispers, and I nod. I’d almost forgotten about that part of their family tradition—the LaFleurs pray together before and after everything they do. And I mean everything —every meal, every competitive event, every medical procedure. It seemed so strange to me at first, maybe even annoying, especially when Rowan used to insist on praying a whole rosary aloud before any big exams or practicals in school. But now that I’ve come to expect it, it’s sort of endearing. And I’m honestly a little disappointed that Rowan never asked me to join him the way Daisy does. I guess he was worried I’d lash out at him.
I clear my throat. “Sure. Thanks,” I answer her, and I turn and motion the Sign of the Cross as she begins a short prayer. The family mimes the same motion at the end, and the kids’ excitement is even more palpable now that we’re done with that piece of business. I imagine it’s like Pavlov’s bell for them.
“Okay, Santa, take it away,” Daisy says with a wide smile. She hands me a box and tilts her head to one side, signaling which direction to face.
“All right, then. Where’s Big Ben?” I turn to the left and lift the box, and Daisy’s four-year-old nephew stands and lifts his hands triumphantly.
“Right he-yah!”
I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face as I step through the obstacle course of cross-legged children to deliver Ben’s gift. Meanwhile, Daisy’s already started calling out more names, and I quickly realize she’s saving all of the kids’ gifts for me to announce.
A few minutes later, gift wrap and tissue paper are flying through the air as I hand the last box over to little Zélie, and I bite my lip when I turn to grab the small bag I’d asked one of the kids to hide behind the tree earlier. I’m starting to second guess my gift for Daisy, or at least my decision to give it to her today. It feels more personal than I thought before, especially now that we’re surrounded by everyone. But before I can talk myself out of it, I feel her tapping me on the shoulder.
“Merry Christmas, Dr. Reed,” she says quietly and hands me a wrapped box, a knowing smile on her face.
“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Reed,” I lean down and whisper before giving her my gift, and my stomach flutters when her cheeks redden. She narrows her eyes at me, issuing a silent warning before she scrambles across the room to her spot on the couch. I sigh and move to stand behind the other sofa, figuring I’ve done enough interfering with their family moment, and I try and fail not to watch as Daisy digs through the gift bag and pulls out a stuffed puppy and a card.
She opens the card before she stands abruptly, letting the bag fall to the floor. “Wait. You … you got me a service dog ?” Daisy yells breathlessly.
Everyone stops moving at that moment, and I swallow hard and attempt to keep my expression neutral when I nod. “I hope that’s okay,” I croak out.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a seizure alert dog? And how expensive ?” She’s still shouting even though the room’s fallen silent.
I look around and notice all eyes on us. “Actually, this is an SRD. And I was only able to find one because Dr. Broussard knew the right people. He also pulled a few strings with one of the foundations?—”
But the next thing that comes out probably sounds closer to an “oof” as Daisy practically bowls me over. She wraps her arms around my waist and presses her cheek against my chest, and I hesitate for a second before I return the hug.
And damn if it isn’t the best, most sincere hug I’ve ever had in my life.
“Thank you, Landry,” she says, her voice thick. “This is literally the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.”
Her arms tighten around me as a sense of relief floods my chest, and I bow my head to hers. “It’s not much. I just wanted to help you gain your independence and keep you safe.”
“It’s the best gift ever.” She sniffles, and I fight the urge to kiss the top of her head when I feel her body shaking within my arms. “And now I feel even worse about that conversation we had on the way in.”
I laugh shortly. “Eh, my idea’s seeming a little more ‘old Landry’ the longer I think about it,” I say, and she giggles as I reach up to wipe the moisture from her cheeks. “There are still a few more hurdles before she’s yours. But the trainer wants to start bringing her by the house next week to make sure it’s a good fit for both of you.”
“She?” Daisy pulls away and looks up at me.
I grin and gesture to the card in her hands. “Did you even read that thing?”
“I was too excited!” she admits, making everyone laugh, and I’m reminded we aren’t alone again. She lifts the card to her face and scans it, her lips moving as she reads. “Her name is Juniper?” An incredulous laugh bubbles out of her. “It’s perfect. She’s already a LaFleur!”
I shrug. “I thought so, too.”
She stares up at me adoringly, awakening butterflies within me I never knew existed, and I’m only seconds away from needing to start one of those childhood disease lists again. Meanwhile, the rest of the family coos their approval before returning to their own gifts.
“I can’t believe you did this for me. And all I got you was a couple of lousy ties.”
“After everything you’ve had to put up with for the past few months of living with my grumpy ass, I figured it was the least I could do. And it’ll make me feel better to know you won’t be alone later,” I explain quietly.
Her smile falters, and she looks away and blinks a few times. “Right. Good thinking.”
Dammit. I’ve upset her again, but I can’t ask her why. Maybe I should have waited until we were back home to give her this.
“Just promise me your next husband won’t mind you keeping the dog in the divorce,” I add in an attempt to lighten the mood. She laughs shortly before leaning in to hug me again.
“Thank you. I mean it.” This time she embraces me like it’s the last time she’ll ever see me, reminding me that getting through the last piece of our arrangement is going to be harder than I imagined. I wrap my arms around her and rest my chin on her head, pushing away the dread and relishing in her warmth once more until I look up to find Rowan watching us carefully.
“Hey, um, I think your brother’s starting to suspect something,” I mumble quietly, trying not to move my lips. “Maybe we shouldn’t?—”
“Let him think whatever he wants,” Daisy retorts. “We know what is and isn’t going on between us. That’s all that matters.”
“Right.” But the way Rowan’s jaw flexes when he looks away still worries me.
Daisy finally loosens her grip and wipes her cheeks on the back of her hand before she demands I open my gift, even though she’s already ruined the surprise.
“The kids are going to love this, thank you,” I tell her, holding up the Minecraft-patterned tie.
She shrugs. “I thought they might like seeing old Doc Reed’s sillier side.”
“Did you do the embroidery yourself?”
“Yeah,” she admits shyly.
“You did an amazing job. I’m impressed.”
“There’s another one,” she prompts me again, looking nervous now.
I move the tissue paper around and find a pop of mint green. I let out a soft chuckle when I recognize the significance. “It’s just like the one I borrowed from Blake.”
“It’s actually the original tie,” she says. “I asked Loren if I could buy Blake a new one. I told her it held sentimental value for us, so she made the swap for me.”
I run my fingers over the silky fabric, and my eyes begin to sting.
She shakes her head before she continues. “It’s silly, I know, but?—”
“It’s perfect,” I say on a gulp.
Then I wrap her up in another hug so that she can’t see what the thought of leaving her does to me.