Chapter Twenty-Four
Kai
In the coming days Caelos grew busier than ever, the dormitories filled until entire families were relegated to single rooms and shopkeepers slept in makeshift beds beneath their market stalls.
With rumours of war reaching a fever pitch and the parley with Soliz fast approaching, hundreds of people had filtered in from all around the country, hungry mouths and grabbing hands.
And between all the noise, the wards, the ceaseless, gnawing presence of Lina somewhere else in the shrine, Kai had had a searing headache for three days.
He took refuge at a table in the quietest corner of the banquet hall for lunch, glad that without the veil of alcohol making him seem friendlier than he was, people had finally copped onto the fact that he did not want to be spoken to.
Before him, a bowl of grains, pickled vegetables, and a sad little square of mackerel went ignored, his stomach in bits from Menon – he imagined – growing increasingly pissed off by Sowelan’s proximity.
He picked at the fish, guilty that he didn’t want to eat while fresh food was being rationed. His stomach protested and he choked down a mouthful of Saros’s newest prescription, liquorice tea.
“This will settle your stomach,” Saros had said, thumping a mug in front of him. “Drink it and get a hold of yourself.”
Kai could not, of course, tell Saros the wildly dangerous reason why Menon was doing backflips within him – so as far as the old man knew, Kai was just a little brat. Which was true, according to River, but Kai liked how River meant it.
He hated liquorice, but Menon was evidently placated, allowing him to enjoy a rare empty moment in a room full of anxious energy.
Most people kept their heads down, focusing on their paltry meals; Leviathosi regaled children with bloody stories as Hilo and his men suppressed laughter at Nalu, trying and failing to barter with the cooks for more fish.
Cynthia shadowed a harassed-looking Penina and Ronan Artem with a winning smile on her face, all kind words about Lina, the good and upstanding Menon-follower.
Kai’s attention snagged at last on a regal form dressed in indigo. If the liquorice tea had shut Menon up, the sight of River put Her right to sleep: as River slinked alongside his table, eyes on Kai and wearing a faint, secret smile, Kai nearly forgot the throbbing migraine.
River carried a tray with three bowls, playing dutiful son to the two parents who followed close behind, and who looked less pleased to see their son cavorting with divinity.
“Mam, Da,” Kai greeted River’s parents, disregarding Dian’s pained Dian is fine, thank you. He nodded at the bowls of glorified slop. “How’re we enjoying today’s culinary adventure?”
Reka squared her shoulders, still every bit a guard captain despite retirement.
“We’re more than thankful for it, Holiness,” she said tightly.
She nodded towards a table at the end of the room where most of the newcomers from Sterlingdale and Eastwick sat.
“If you’ll excuse us, the rest of our family have just arrived in. ”
With an apologetic look to Kai, River touched his mother’s arm. “Go and meet everyone, Mum,” he said, half-pulling her past him. He handed his father the tray and ushered him after Reka. “I’ll be there in a moment.”
Irritation prickled his skin as River’s parents departed with a neutral bow. “I understood Ineen’s parents hating me,” he said to River, “but I dunno what yours’ve got against me.”
River sighed, sheepish. “We were both… very bad last week. I’m the only one to blame for drinking myself into such a state every night, but to them, you’re a – ” He made air quotes.
“‘corrupting influence.’ Anyway,” he finished, unbothered, “they’re also upset because, ‘But what about grandbabies?’”
Kai snorted, glad for the subject change, something lighter.
He’d heard more in recent days about his conduct, drinking himself half to death, getting into fights with his brothers’ crewmen, needing to be dragged to his room every night by River or Hilo or both.
He was ashamed enough as it was and unhappy that it had cemented Reka’s and Dian’s opinions of him.
“Tell them I’ll birth a fine child,” Kai suggested, and River laughed.
“They didn’t find it funny.”
“We’ll get a cat.” Kai snapped his fingers. “Same thing.”
River laughed again, making him feel warm. And then he sobered, sighing. “Mum’s family’s here, so I need to show my face to all the aunties and cousins.” He reached, brushing the backs of his fingers against Kai’s. A small comfort, hidden from the rest of the room.
Kai swallowed, his eyes trained on River’s hand. The long, clever fingers, each movement at once elegant and precise. He wanted to stop pretending, to grab River’s hand and haul him back into his room; to feel those fingers around his wrists, his throat, his cock.
River raised one eyebrow, his smile turning wicked. “Pure thoughts, Holiness. I’ll meet you later.” He ran his fingertip along the rim of Kai’s half-empty bowl. “Eat.”
Watching River go made him feel lonely, and then stupid.
Kai dug into his food, annoyed with himself, his brain chanting at him that they had time, they had each other, they would survive Saros’s parley and avoid war and adopt three cats and maybe a parrot.
Menon would miraculously disappear and they’d all live happily ever after.
He’d had enough of glory. He wanted peace.
He gathered that Menon thought him pathetic, because a bolt of pain shot through him then, ricocheting like lightning in his brain. Kai dropped his spoon and groaned, pressing his palms against his eyelids. “Fucking bitch,” he hissed, barely cognizant of another presence sidling past his table.
“What’d I do?”
Kai squinted, catching a length of copper hair. “Red,” he ground out, “You seen Lina today?”
She cocked an eyebrow, an empty tray slung under one arm. “My name’s Ami and you know it.”
Kai blew out a breath, willing the pain to diminish to a dull pulse. “Ami,” he said with commendable politeness, “I graciously request a report on our mutual acquaintance, Lina Almemorrow, who is causing me a great deal of agony.”
Ami shrugged. “She’s fine.”
“She’s fine?” Kai repeated, scandalised. He tapped his throbbing forehead. “It feels like she’s doing fucking cartwheels in here. Menon is getting very upset.”
“Poor Menon. We were talking about this earlier and Ione suggested you drink less.” She held up a hand, innocent. “Don’t shoot the messenger.”
“Helpful. Well, messenger, go ’head and tell Ineen she can suck my cock, and that I’ve been miserably sober for days.
” His gaze flicked to River at his family’s table, smiling at something his grandmother was saying.
Kai didn’t care one way or another about old people, but seeing River being all sweet and courteous to his grandmother made his stomach flutter. “Maybe not miserably.”
Ami followed his gaze. “Good save,” she said. “When’d that happen, officially?”
“Why?”
“I’ve money riding on it.”
Whatever look he sent her shut her up.
“Anyhow,” she said, serious again, “Lina said meditation’s helped.”
“Oh, class, sitting and thinking.”
Ami hugged the tray and donned a lofty expression.
“Take it or leave it. Lina doesn’t have headaches.
She feels, er, Sowelan – ” She lowered her voice further, here, like Sowelan’s name was a curse, which it kind of was.
“ – doing cartwheels, as you put it, whenever you’re near her in the building, but that’s it.
She’s coming to terms with His presence.
” She pointed at him. “You’ve been ignoring Menon’s. ”
Connecting to Menon made sense, and he was happy to hear it was working for Lina and fucking Sowelan. But when Kai thought of trying it, he remembered the loss of control over himself, the witnessing of brilliant feats of magical prowess – and horrifying acts of violence.
He hadn’t told River that Menon had considered killing him for restraining Her in Soliz. Trying to convince Menon to leave River alone was like screaming down a yawning cavern; that She listened to him at all felt unbelievable, something he wasn’t certain he could replicate.
If Kai tried to connect to Her and failed, who might get hurt?
Die?
Kai managed a weak Thanks and let Ami go. Unable to stomach any more food, cold and gelatinous now, he cast for the mug of tea. Drink, Saros had said and, desperate for peace, Kai obeyed.
Having endured more wards and suffered to Saros’s satisfaction, Kai slithered away that evening and found himself a burnt cave of a library on the lower level, not yet refurbished, to hide away in with River for a while before bed. A little treat.
Charred bookshelves loomed overhead as he explored, a reminder of the destruction he was supposed to keep from happening again. He ran a finger along a line of thick, blackened books, flinching when one crumbled to ash.
“You found me.” River, wreathed in faint twilight shining in from a window.
Kai smiled, his pulse spiking as River strode towards him. “You found a good hiding place. How’s my new extended family?”
A shrug, wry. “About as new to you as they are to me.”
Beyond the dusty window, rows of Mahina ships dotted the bay, a wordless threat to all outsiders. But at the first graze of River’s fingertips on his face, his neck, his chest, Kai’s mind emptied, reducing him to nothing but touch and taste, heat and racing heart.
He hadn’t anticipated the lack of privacy, the dozens of eyes on him now that he was Menon.
He didn’t think he’d care, but he did, and so did River, both of them agreeing to keep their relationship between them and whoever they could trust. Just for now, just to keep that slice of vulnerability away from prying eyes, from jealousy and judgment.