Chapter Nineteen
I t’s crunch time for my classes. That weird time between Thanksgiving break leading up to finals. On a freezing afternoon between classes, I decide to take a walk around campus to clear my head. I’ve got a few more classes before break will officially start and the thought of going home and seeing my parents fills me with a sense of dread. I’m sure my mother will be waiting with open arms all to chastise me for days about not coming home for Thanksgiving.
Getting outside helps with my anxiety, the sky is a cool blue, and the biting air gives me focus. As I stroll through the courtyard, lost in thought, I almost don’t notice Ryan approaching. When I see him, a warmth spreads through me, dispelling the cold.
“Hey,” he says, his breath visible in the frosty air. “I was hoping I’d run into you.”
“Hey,” I reply, a smile tugging at my lips. “It’s only been about…” I feign looking at a watch even though I’m not wearing one. “Ten hours since you saw me last.”
“Ha ha,” he says, his eyes lighting up with mischief. “I wanted to see you before we both got busy for the day.”
We fall into step together and it feels natural when he reaches and puts my hand in his. We walk for a few minutes across the campus in comfortable silence. Ryan clears his throat. “So I wanted to ask you something,” he hedges. I give him a reassuring smile and squeeze his hand to continue. “I wanted to know if you’d like to come with me to my parents this weekend.” I inhale but he cuts me off before I can even start. “I know what you’re thinking. That the last time went to shit and there’s no way you’d want to go back. But I’d like a do-over.”
I must not look too enthusiastic because he’s still in sell mode. All I can think about is slinking out like a thief in the night. How embarrassing. I hadn’t even thought about what would happen if I had to see his parents again.
“And before you even say it, I already told them what happened. They…sort of understand why you left.” I stop walking. I mean they know why you left—they just would have liked to have driven you. Or something. Done things differently. They aren’t mad. You aren’t their kid so I don’t know why I said that. They were mad at me.” He is rambling, and despite the cold, I think he’s sweating.
“Okay,” I say, putting him out of his misery. “Yeah.”
“Yeah?” He smiles, letting out a relieved breath. “Great! It’ll be great. Alone time before the semester ends.”
“Alone with your parents,” I remind him.
“We made it work last time,” he reminds me with a smirk.
I don’t respond. Instead, I tug on his hand, and we start walking again.
We continue walking, talking about our classes and plans for the holidays. It’s a relief to have a normal conversation and have that warm, fuzzy feeling back when I’m with him. And he’s right, this weekend will be one of the last before we spend a month apart. I’ll be heading back to Arizona with Kelsey and Ryan will spend it at his family farm. We’ll be apart for Christmas and New Years and I won’t see him till we come back to school in January.
That thought makes my heart pang with hurt just a little bit. I remind myself it’s good to have a break from your partner in a relationship, healthy even. Plus there’s video chats and of course we’ll text. Plus we won’t have the added pressure of gift giving and deciding whose family to spend the holidays with. I have to remind myself that I’m eighteen, Ryan is only twenty. We aren’t married or even engaged, we’ve just been dating for a short time. These are my young and carefree days and I need more laughing than sadness. Yeah, the break will do our relationship good. We’ll come back and be happier to be back in each other’s company. I can see it now.
The week flies by, and before I know it, the weekend has arrived. Ryan picks me up from the dorm, and we drive out of the city toward his parents’ farm. This time I know what to expect so my nerves are less on edge. The familiar landscape comes into view, and I feel a mixture of nervousness and anticipation—but in a good way. I’m happy that I get a chance to see his parents again and apologize for the way I left. His parents are too sweet to make them think that they did anything wrong.
When we arrive, Ryan’s parents are already out on the front porch to greet us. His mom pulls me into a hug. “It’s so good to see you again, Hailey. I’m so happy to have you back.”
“Thank you, Eloise. I appreciate that, especially with how I left last time,” I reply, feeling more at ease than I expected.
“Honey, Ryan told us what happened and I would have done the same thing. I probably would have made a scene but still left like you did. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Ryan’s dad gives me a little wave. “Glad you could join us again, Hailey.”
With the initial welcome behind us, we head inside and I’m once again shown to the same guest room. I flash back to packing my things in haste, tip-toeing around in order to sneak out. I sit my backpack down on the bed pushing that memory aside. Before I can even unzip my coat, Ryan is standing at the door, his hands firmly planted on both sides of the door frame.
“Want to go see how some of the animals are doing?”
“Actually, I’d love that.” Getting out of this room and back into the fresh air is exactly what I need.
Later, as we sit down to dinner, the atmosphere feels relaxed. Conversation flows easily, and I find myself laughing and sharing stories with Ryan’s parents. It’s a stark contrast to the tension I felt before about seeing them again, and it reassures me that we’re on the right path.
After dinner, Ryan and I head outside to the porch. The sky is a blanket of stars, the night air cold and clear. We sit on the porch swing, simply enjoying each other’s presence.
“Thank you for giving this another chance,” Ryan says quietly, breaking the silence.
“I’m glad I did,” I reply, leaning against him. “This feels right.”
He takes my hand, his thumb brushing gently over my knuckles. “I know it’s going to take time to rebuild the trust, but I’m willing and want to do the work. You mean a lot to me, Hailey.”
“You mean a lot to me too,” I say, my heart swelling with emotion. “And I’m willing to take it one step at a time.”
We sit there for a while longer looking at the stars. The night sky is so clear unlike at campus where the city’s lights obscure any kind of view. The warmth of Ryan’s presence and the beauty of the night sky have me sighing with contentment. Ryan squeezes me closer to him, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. His warm lips against my ear as he leans his head down. “I’ve missed this. Us being close.”
“Mm… me too,” I murmur back to him. I’m wearing a thick sweater and we brought out a blanket that’s covering our legs but right now with his arm wrapped around me and his lips brushing up against my ear and neck, I begin to feel hot.
I turn my face more towards his and it only takes one heated look to know that Ryan is thinking the same thing as me. Our lips crash together, the seams parting as we enter and explore each other’s mouths. The kiss isn’t soft or sweet. It’s demanding and hungry, filled with want and need. It’s the kind of deep, hard kiss that makes you have to squeeze your knees together to seek some kind of relief.
Ryan must understand, my moan muffled by his lips. His free hand glides over my body until he’s gripping and flexing his fingers on my upper thigh. His thumb is close to the seam of my pants. I want to break our kiss to tell him to touch me. I don’t have to though, his thumb finds its way to the seam of my pants as he applies a small amount of pressure.
That’s my undoing. That tiny bit of pressure from his finger has me unraveling. I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips as I pull my mouth away from his. “Let’s go inside,” I tell him. Barely able to get anything else out because my mind is clouded with lust and want.
He doesn’t hesitate. He gathers the blanket off our legs, his feet halting the small rocking of the swing. Once he stands he extends his hand for me to place mine in his. I follow him quietly into the house, we cross our way through it making a beeline to his bedroom. We sneak past his parents working on a puzzle at the kitchen table.
When we reach his room, we walk in and he shuts and locks the door behind us. The tiny clicking noise of the lock hasn’t even finished processing in my mind before his lips are back on mine. My back pressed against the door, his arms caging me in. He trails with open mouth kisses down my neck, when my sweater stops his pursuit, he pulls my sweater to the side for better access then he grips the hem, raising it over me to remove it.
My arms willingly lift, wanting the barrier between us removed. I tug his own shirt wanting to feel his warm skin against mine. We haven’t been together like this since the last night we were here. It’s been too long and we’re both hungry for it. He leaves wet, open-mouth kisses down my sternum and then flutters across my breast. When he sucks one into his mouth over my lacy bra, I can’t help the moan that flies out of my mouth.
“Shh… I don’t want any interruptions between us tonight and the last thing we need is for my parents to come looking for us,” he says to me with his lips hovering over my nipple.
“I don’t know if I can be quiet tonight,” I tell him in a voice so filled with lust that I don’t even recognize it as my own. “Take my pants off Ryan.”
He doesn’t respond verbally but physically. He moves his mouth further down my stomach trailing open mouth kisses along my body. When he reaches my jeans he stops at the button and slowly tugs it open. He moves the zipper of my jeans so slowly that I can hear the teeth separating. Once my pants are open he takes his time slowly moving them over my hips and down my legs. He pulls my shoes off one by one, taking the pant leg with it.
I don’t know if he’s going slow just to torture me or to create more foreplay but I decide in one bold move that I don’t want more foreplay, I want the whole thing.
I reach down, intertwine my fingers into his hair and pull his face towards my pussy. Normally, I wouldn’t be so bold but I’ve learned these last few months in college that it’s time that I started asserting myself and taking the things that I want, making my dreams a reality.
Much to Ryan’s credit, he doesn’t miss a beat. He takes a deep breath inhaling my scent and then tongues me through the fabric. A second later, he hooks my underwear to the side and slides his tongue right in between my folds. I let out a deep moan of satisfaction, not caring if his parents hear. The sensation of his hot tongue licking and sucking on me are too good to care.
Ryan stops eating me like I’m his last meal long enough to pull my underwear down my legs. He stands up and pulls me towards the bed, playfully pushing me down on the bed, and motions for me to lie down. I do as I’m told, scrambling to lay back on the bed. Ryan hovers over the bed, and I notice for the first time that he’s still wearing his pants.
I tsk playfully. “And why are you still wearing those?” I ask as I point toward his jeans. In the blink of an eye, he’s off the bed and pulling his pants down and off his legs. When he crawls up on the bed, pushing my legs apart, I can see that he’s completely naked and damn he looks so good. If I didn’t know any better I’d think that he wasn’t a twenty-year-old college student but one of those amateur bodybuilders, that’s how in shape his body is.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers against my skin. “I could stare at you all night.” He nips my hip. “Worship every inch of you.” He licks a strip up my sternum.
Before I can say another word, he bends and hooks my legs, cradling them in the crook of each arm, and then finally, after so much foreplay, he sinks into me. He doesn’t go slow, doesn’t try to slowly inch inside me, he’s fully seated inside me in just one long thrust. “You OK, baby?”
I’m more than okay, I’m probably the most okay anyone has ever been. I nod vigorously, encouraging him to move before I explode into stardust.
He thrusts in and out and I can’t stop the inevitability of my orgasm. It hits me strongly and before I can even say anything it takes over my body. I’m soaring high, riding it out while Ryan continues to thrust in and out of me. The muscles that had tensed loosen and I feel like Jello as I come down from the orgasm. Ryan knows it too, because through gritted teeth he tells me, “I got you, baby. I got you.”
His thrusts take on an uneven frenzy, a sheen of sweat covering his body. My hands grip his shoulders, my nails digging in, holding on for the euphoric ride. Then it happens again, I’m soaring high, but this time Ryan joins me.