Chapter 35 – Phoenix #2
“Who is society to tell you what to do? She’s, what? Ten years younger than you?”
“Nine,” I say a little too quickly, and I see Mom smile.
“As long as a person is of legal, consenting age, it shouldn’t matter. And it’s not like you’re a grandpa.” She cuts her brown eyes toward me. “Though you act like it sometimes. You really should date more. You’re such a handsome young man.”
I close the cooler and cross to her, snatching one of the cookies from the plate. Mom smacks my hand but doesn’t take my cookie away. Just one more reason I love her.
“You have to say that because you’re my mother,” I tell her, unwrapping the treat and taking a big bite. “Mmm, that’s good.”
“You’re right. You’re completely hideous, dear. I’m not sure how anyone stands to look at you.” She pinches my cheek and coos, “This is a face only a mother could love.”
“I’m writing you out of my will,” I tell her around a mouthful of crumbs.
The party goes off without a hitch, thanks to my mom and Jordie. Night has seeped in, blanketing Houston with a star-filled canopy. Jordie is placing the last plate in the dishwasher while I empty the cooler.
As she dries her hands on a dish towel, I come up behind her and kiss the side of her neck. She startles, darting her eyes around to look for prying eyes.
“Everyone has left,” I assure her, sliding my hands down to shape her hips.
“What about Reece?” she hisses.
As if summoned, my little one skips into the kitchen, curls bouncing, and I take a long step backward. To be honest, I’m tired of not being able to show affection to my girl when anyone else is around. I want us to be a normal couple.
But Jordie has enough on her plate right now without having to worry about the scrutiny our relationship is sure to bring. The Dragons have made it to the very first WNFL Super Bowl, and the big game is only a week away.
I scoop my daughter onto my hip and blow a raspberry against her cheek, earning me a giggle. “Did you enjoy your party, sweet girl?”
She nods happily. “It was the best party ever. Can we have another one tomorrow?”
Laughing, I shake my head. “I don’t think so, gremlin. I’m not sure I could survive another party so soon.” I kiss her forehead. “Jordie worked really hard to make your party fun. Did you say thank you?”
Reece wriggles until I put her down, and she runs over to Jordie, holding her arms up. Jordie picks her up so Reece’s legs wrap around her trim waist.
“Thank you for making the funnest party ever.” My daughter throws her arms around Jordie’s neck and surprises me by saying, “I love you muchly, Jordie.”
Jordie’s eyes widen for a second and then close tightly as she embraces my sweet little girl. A tear slides down her cheek, and she sways them back and forth, gently cupping the back of Reece’s head.
“I love you muchly too, sweetpea.”
And right there in my kitchen, at that exact moment, all the barriers I’d erected around myself crumble away like dust in the wind.
Because it doesn’t matter how pretty or smart a woman is.
It doesn’t matter if she loves me like no one ever has.
If she doesn’t accept and love my daughter, I could never be with her.
I don’t want someone who will tolerate my daughter so she can be with me.
Reece isn’t some pint-sized accessory that comes with her dad.
She’s an awesome little human who deserves a woman in her life who will bust her ass to make a child’s birthday party special.
A woman who will wear footie pajamas and engage in our silly spa nights. A woman who will… love her.
Reece isn’t without females in her life. She has my mom, Rebecca, and Perri who dote on her. But Mom and Rebecca are grandmothers, and Perri is her aunt. Lorraine is amazing and adores Reece, but at the end of the day, she’s my daughter’s nanny and goes home at the end of the workday.
I’ve done my best to be both mom and dad to my child because I thought I could be enough. And to be honest, I think I’ve done a pretty damn good job. Reecie is happy and well-adjusted. But could I give her more?
Could I give her a mother figure?
It’s something I’ve never seriously considered, given what happened with Beatrice.
I couldn’t imagine allowing someone the power to hurt my little girl, but I know in my heart, Jordie would never do that.
She knows what it feels like to be abandoned by her mother, and there’s no way she would inflict that kind of pain on a child.
I realize I’m crying, so I turn my back and swipe the moisture from my cheeks, pulling cleansing breaths in and out of my lungs.
What I told Remi earlier is true. I have fallen in love with Jordie.
And I’ve had this bubbling in my stomach for a while because I swore to myself that I’d always put Reece first. But that guilt is gone now, replaced with a sense of rightness.
A sense that maybe I can do both… prioritize my little girl and love a woman.
I turn back around to find Reece attempting to weasel her way out of bathtime. She’s tired and getting a bit whiny after a long day.
“But I don’t want to take a bath. The water is too wet.”
Ah, the rationale of a preschooler. Good times. I’m about to step in when Jordie says, “Sometimes I feel like that too, so I take a shower instead.”
My daughter’s brow furrows. “A shower?”
“Yep, the water is skinnier so it doesn’t feel so wet.”
“Skinny water,” Reece muses. It’s a bit ridiculous, but it seems to make sense to her because she turns to me with a big grin. “Daddy, can I take a shower in the skinny water?”
My daughter has just taken her first shower—or “skinny water bath,” as it shall now be known—and she’s curled up on her side in bed. Though her eyelids are drooping, she’s still fighting sleep.
I’m stroking her hair, which usually does the trick, but it’s been a big day for Reece with all the bouncing and sugar and gifts, and she just won’t drift off. I love her, but I’m honestly exhausted.
“Jordie, can you come over tomorrow and cook in the new Easy-Bake Oven you got me?”
Jordie’s eyebrows narrow for a moment. “I have practice all day, but I can come over when I’m done.” Her gaze shoots to me, and she adds, “If it’s okay with your dad.”
My eyes hold hers, and I hope she can’t read my thoughts because I’m afraid I might scare her off. “You know you’re welcome any time.”
Reece rolls onto her back, looking between us. “Jordie, do you like my daddy?”
Oh, good grief, kid. What are you doing?
“I do like your daddy,” Jordie carefully replies. “He’s a very good… friend.”
My daughter smiles sweetly. “Friends can hold hands, right? I hold Brittany’s hand at the park.”
“Um, sure,” I say uncomfortably. “Friends can hold hands.”
Reece takes my hand and Jordie’s and pulls them together. Our fingers slide together in the most natural way, like they belong together. Then my daughter curls on her side with our linked hands resting on her small body… and falls asleep.
She looks so peaceful, and I feel acceptance from this little girl who means everything to me. Like I have her permission to find love and embrace it.
And that’s exactly what I intend to do.