Chapter 47 Ramsay
I’d never liked the feeling of uncertainty.
Rarely did I feel deflation. Mostly because I always entered situations with managed expectations.
Yet as I let Akiva out of the truck, watching her hurry toward the porch, I experienced both sensations weighing me down.
The evening temps were dropping to low single digits now, though my house was protected from the coastal winds by the surrounding forest. Still, there was a distinct wintry chill in the air as I let us both into the house. And it wasn’t merely my mood.
We’d returned to Scotland five days ago. I’d barely seen Silver, let alone discussed our relationship.
True, she’d been preoccupied moving London into the bungalow with her and Taran.
The little I’d gleaned from our short interactions and texts, Taran was happy for the company.
Silver hadn’t visited the B and B much, once to show London quickly around, twice to agree on some final details.
But from the former interaction, I saw London struggling, so I understood the woman needed Silver.
They’d bunked down together in Taran’s bungalow while she tried to process everything she’d been through.
It wasn’t the most opportune time for me and Silver.
“Miss her, though,” I told Akiva as I dished up her dinner. “Do you, sweetheart?”
Akiva stared up at me impatiently.
“Right. Don’t ask you questions when there’s food on the go, eh?
” I lowered her plate and gave her head a scratch before striding into the bedroom.
I wasn’t particularly hungry. Quinn and I had eaten at the Lantern with his kids.
Quinn only had them every second weekend starting on a Friday evening.
Reading between the lines, it had taken a lot to get Heather out to the pub.
Heather had turned from a bubbly wee kid full of questions into a taciturn teenager who could barely look up from her phone.
Angus, on the other hand, hero-worshipped his dad and was full of constant chatter.
It didn’t stop Quinn from shooting his daughter equally concerned and agitated looks all evening.
Kids had never been something I’d allowed myself to want.
For so long, I thought I’d end up dead before I retired. My job wasn’t exactly conducive to a normal family life. Once I retired, I’d shut myself off from the possibility of family.
Now … Silver opened a future I hadn’t expected. Her distance, however, rattled me. Was it really because she was taking care of London? Or had she changed her mind about me now that we were back?
“Fuck.” I slumped down on the bed, dragging my hands over my face. This was why I’d tried to avoid the connection I’d instantly felt with her. That kind of connection messed with your fucking head.
Akiva started barking, alerting me.
I stood and marched out of the bedroom. “What do you hear, girl?”
She raced toward the front door, and I tensed at movement by the living room window.
“Ramsay, it’s me!” Silver’s voice turned her shadow into a familiar face behind the glass.
Anticipation thrummed through me as I strode to the door to unlock it.
Silver smiled up at me from the doorway, her ridiculously bright SUV visible in the clearing behind her. It was a welcome sight.
“What are you doing here? Did you text?” I asked as she petted an excited Akiva.
“No.” She bit her lip, uncertainty flickering in her gaze as she gave Akiva one more rubdown and straightened. “I wanted to surprise you, so I made the crossing before the tide came in. I’m, uh, kind of stuck on your island with you again. Is that okay?”
Relief shuddered through me along with emotions too big to articulate. I flashed her a wicked grin before I swept her up into my arms to swing her inside, shutting the door with a kick of my boot.
Silver laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I guess it’s okay.”