Chapter 9 #2
I slid onto it as he glared down at where Jack was eyeing us from the other end of the bar.
“Pretty sure that bartender hates me,” Neil muttered, waving his hand.
I was almost certain of it, though Jack hadn’t seen the best sides of Neil. He’d never gotten to see the sweet guy who befriended a lonely girl on the playground.
Wendy started to head our way, but Jack waved her off, coming over himself. “Are we drinking?” he asked, looking at me.
I shrugged helplessly as Neil ordered a rum and Coke, double the rum.
Jack held out his hand. “Keys first.”
Neil rolled his eyes. “I took a rideshare here, and my girl will get me home.” He waved his hand at me. “She’ll pay, too.”
“One drink,” I agreed, figuring it was easier. I took out my card, and Jack stared back at me, not taking it. I nudged Neil’s shoulder. “And then I’m taking you home. Understand?”
“Whatever you say,” Neil said.
Jack took the card, but he didn’t look happy.
“Get her a drink, too!” Neil called after him. He leaned closer to me. “You loosen up when you have a drink.” His hand patted my clenched fist. “Always wound so tight. Fruit juice.” He scoffed, pulling away.
I studied Neil’s face, seeing the shimmer in his eyes. “Did your date not go well tonight?”
He grimaced. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Which was answer enough. “All right, Neil.” I reached out, rubbing his back as the band started up again, introducing the first song in their next set.
Neil glared over at the stage. “What is this shit? Country?”
I winced. Alcohol always did that to Neil. He no longer had a filter, and every thought came out of his mouth.
Jack gave him the drink he’d ordered, watching as Neil downed half of it in one go.
“Are you sure this is a double?” Neil complained, wiping his hand across his mouth.
“It’s not,” Jack admitted, setting a glass of water in front of me and handing me my card with the already printed check. All he’d charged me for was Neil’s drink, but I didn’t argue, making sure I tipped him extra. I didn’t often get the chance to.
“Just finish it, Neil, and we’ll head home.” I grabbed the water, bending the straw to gulp directly from the glass.
“Home? What about your date?” He blinked over at me, as if only then realizing that I was sitting where Levi had been before. “Oh, shit, he ditched you already? It’s like he knew you hated sex.”
My body stiffened. The water glass slipped out of my hand and hit the edge of the bar, tilting. Jack’s tattooed hand snagged it, setting it upright.
“Careful!” Neil cried out a beat behind. “Jesus, you’d think you were the one drunk.” He downed the rest of his drink.
My eyes burned as I stared at Jack’s hand, unable to raise my gaze from it. I would have expected to feel flushed. That wasn’t it, though. It was as if the blood had drained from my face. My empty hand shook where it still hovered.
“Hailey.” Jack took my hand between his. “You don’t have to deal with this. Let us help.”
I pulled my hand free, scrambling up from the barstool. “No, I can handle it. I’m sorry; one drink was a bad idea.” I gripped Neil’s arm with both hands. “Come on. Let me get you home.”
He turned his eyes on me, and what had shimmered minutes ago became a flood. “Sorry. I’m sorry, Hails.” The first tear slipped down his cheek, another following. “I can be such a jerk.”
“It’ll be okay. We can talk about it once we get home.” Yes, later, when Jack couldn’t hear everything Neil had to say.
“Thanks, Hails.” Neil’s arm slipped around my shoulders, his weight almost staggering me. “How are you so nice? You can’t make me feel sexy, but you’re always so nice.” His words slurred toward the end.
My eyes filled. I blinked rapidly. I couldn’t cry, not yet. Trying to shuffle us a step forward, I nearly toppled us both.
“Sean!” Jack called to the door, a snap in his voice.
Neil’s weight shifted, Sean gripping him around the waist. “I got him. You focus on getting out your keys.”
I nodded, not looking back at Jack as I led the way out of the bar. The music pulsed into the parking lot, making my head pound as hard as my heart. I had come early enough where I could snag a close space. Sean dragged a slumped Neil after me.
“We could pour him into a rideshare instead. Or better yet, dump him back by the dumpster,” Sean muttered.
“No, I’ve got him.” I took a deep breath, then pulled open the door to my back seat. My eyes lifted to meet Sean’s. “I’m his girlfriend. He’s my responsibility.”
Sean grunted as he maneuvered Neil to sprawl across the back seat. After he stepped back, I was careful to check for any of Neil’s dangling limbs before I closed the door.
“Thanks, Sean.”
“Don’t thank me for this. If I’d realized the state he was in a little quicker, I would have pushed him right back into his rideshare.” He rubbed a hand over his beard. “You sure you’re going to be okay to get him into your place on your own? I could follow you and help.”
I shook my head. “You need to stay here. That’s your job.”
“I have an in with the owner, and he already said it’d be fine.”
I tried to smile, but my lips trembled too much for that. My eyes still burned with the threat of tears.
“Hey, come here.” Sean pulled me into a hug, and I let myself have that moment, my face pressed against his warm chest as his strong arms circled around me.
“You’ve got our numbers. If you need help, call.
” He pulled away, gripping my shoulders as he looked at me.
“Once you stop being so stubborn, call us.”
I shook my head, wiping at my cheek. The heel of my palm came away damp. “I’m not being stubborn. I’m just embarrassed.” And if Neil kept talking, it’d only get worse.
“None of that. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” He squeezed my shoulders before releasing me. “You’ve got friends, Hailey. You don’t have to do this alone.”
“I can handle it.” I shifted toward the car, opening the door. I didn’t look back as I climbed in and shut it behind me.
“I don’t feel so good, Hails,” Neil whined.
“I’ll get you home soon,” I promised, turning the key. Sean stepped to the side, and I pulled out of the space, turning the car toward the road.
Sean was wrong. I always had to handle this type of thing alone. Not drunkenness. That was unusual for Neil. But my foster parents had needed a lot of caregiving. Their health had been a concern for years, so I took care of things even before that last year with them, if I were being honest.
Neil had made himself scarce the final year I was with them.
He’d said he felt useless, not knowing how to help, and that the best gift he could think to give me was more time with them.
I was glad not to worry about him so I could focus on them.
They were the ones who had first reached out a hand to a scared, lonely little girl, even before Neil had done the same.
I could never repay that debt.
But there had been moments when I’d felt so alone, even while they were still alive.
It reminded me of the times my biological parents had left me alone as a child or been so high that I would have been better off alone.
It had started when I was much too young to fend for myself, and I’d been scared that one day, I’d remain all alone.
I drove us home more slowly than usual since my eyes still burned.
There was an extra glare to the streetlights.
I was relieved to pull into the driveway, waiting for the garage to lift before parking inside.
I turned the car off, breathing deeply as I waited for the garage to close again, still able to hear Neil’s sniffling over the sound.
After climbing out, I opened the back door, leaning in to rub his back. “Let’s get you inside.”
His arms shook as he crawled out backward, almost clipping me with his elbow when I tried to help.
“I’m fine,” he slurred as he straightened, wobbling on his feet.
I didn’t argue, just pulled him back enough to close the car door and helped him inside. We made it to the couch, which was large, white, and easy for him to sink into. He leaned his head against the thick cushions and stared at the ceiling.
“I’ll get you some water,” I said, moving past the dining room table where we’d discussed the hall pass idea weeks ago and making my way to the wooden cupboard near the sink.
After grabbing a glass, I filled it with the filtered water that came from the fridge.
The refrigerator was sleek stainless steel, like all the appliances I’d upgraded a couple of years ago.
Neil let out a low moan, and I nearly spilled the water as I rushed back to his side.
“Feeling sick? Here, sit up a little more.” I sat on the couch, helping to pull his head up straighter so he could drink the water.
How often had we sat on this same couch and watched shows together? I was closer to him now than I ever was during those quiet moments. When had snuggling together become claiming opposite ends of the couch?
“Enough,” Neil said, pushing my hand with the glass away. His head dropped to rest in his hands.
I shifted forward, setting the water on the coffee table. I should get him some Tylenol.
His words from the bar continued to stab into my stomach. Words that Jack had heard. Likely Sean, too, since he often eavesdropped, something that had made me feel safe before. Now I wished I’d never gone out tonight.
“I don’t hate sex,” I whispered, staring down at my fingers twisting together.
He let out another pitiful moan. “Do we have to talk about this right now?”
“No, of course not,” I agreed. It’d been stupid even to bring it up.
He pushed up from the couch. “I’m going to bed.”
I should have followed him there, made sure he had what he needed.
I curled up on the couch instead, pulling out my phone when it vibrated.
Sean:
Get home okay?
Me:
Yes, I’m good.
Tears clogged my throat at the lie. I wasn’t good at all.
I switched over to Jack’s text thread.
Me:
Sorry about tonight.
Then I lowered the phone to the couch and let myself cry.