Chapter 14
The Eighth Friday
Icouldn’t look at Sean quite the same, my steps slowing as I approached the bar. It wasn’t because I knew he was married. He’d called the morning after our drunken binge, blaming me for his hangover like I’d told him he could. My own head had pounded despite taking the Tylenol Jack had left for me.
Sean apologized for not telling me about Derrick, and we’d talked about his marriage and about his poly relationship style.
I remembered what he’d once told me about open relationships and how they could work.
What he had with Derrick and his metamour, the term they used for a platonic relationship with their partner’s partner, sounded complicated but very loving.
About a year ago, Sean had another partner as well, but she had decided to pursue something more traditional.
I was still wrapping my head around it, but their relationship sounded more solid than whatever Neil and I were doing.
When I’d brought up our rule about not spending the night anywhere, Neil had told me I was just jealous and he again brought up how I’d let Isaiah kick him out of the hotel. He was still bitter about that.
I’d called him earlier today because I’d needed help with a problem I’d been hoping not to face alone, but he hadn’t come. Not that I’d really expected him to. I’d thought about calling Sean or Jack, but that didn’t seem right. It was my problem, like Neil said. I’d handled it.
At least, I hoped I had.
Staring at Sean, I wished I’d given in and called him anyway. I was sure he would have come. He’d told me he loved me.
Neither of us had brought that up when we talked everything else through. I worried he didn’t remember saying it and wondered if that was for the best.
Walking closer to him, I couldn’t help but hear the words again, and my chest squeezed.
Besides my foster parents, Neil was the only one who had said he loved me.
After his initial confession, he’d taken to saying it all the time.
He’d say it even while telling me I could be a better girlfriend.
The words had kind of lost their meaning.
Sean saying it had sounded different.
“Hey,” he said as I drew closer. To my surprise, he drew me in for a quick hug, kissing the top of my head. “Everything okay?”
I forced a smile as I pulled back. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
He didn’t return the smile. “Not sure. You seem, I don’t know, like you needed a hug.”
Music started playing inside. I’d timed my arrival well and let it pull my attention toward the stage.
“I’m going to take my seat,” I told Sean, moving inside.
I didn’t glance back at him, worried I’d see him frowning.
My chest grew even tighter. If he did remember telling me he loved me, maybe he regretted it.
A brown-haired man with a small nose sat on the barstool next to my regular spot, and he turned my way with a half smile as I sat. He wore a blue polo shirt with the collar not quite lying flat. “Hi. I’m Brad.”
I hesitated but then nodded. “Hailey,” I offered.
“I think I’ve seen you in here a few times.” I didn’t remember seeing him before. He nodded toward the stage. “What do you think about the band this week?”
Tonight’s singer was a woman with a sultry voice surrounded by male band members, with the lead guitarist singing duet with her in a deep baritone. “They’re not bad.” I didn’t immediately want to add them to my playlist, though. I’d give it a few more songs before I decided for sure.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Brad asked.
I gripped the edge of the bar, giving him the same forced smile I had tried to use on Sean. “Sorry, I’ve had kind of a bad day and don’t feel up to this kind of thing.” I waved a hand toward him and then me. “Maybe another time?”
He leaned in. “I’m sorry your day was rough. Want a stranger to listen? Sometimes opening up to someone who doesn’t have a leg in the game can be cathartic.”
“What are you having?” Jack asked, his hand resting on the bar in front of me.
I reached forward to pat his hand, still looking at Brad. “If I’m telling anyone about my day, it’ll be my bartender. You know what they say; bartenders are like priests.”
Brad gave a stiff nod. “Sure. Can I get a rum and Coke?”
I didn’t regret turning him down after hearing his order. His getting the same drink as Neil felt like a bad sign.
Brad must have lost interest anyway because he moved down a few seats to wait for his drink.
Jack lifted an eyebrow at me, his hand turning to play with my fingers. “I have never been, and will never be, a priest, no matter what Sean thinks about my self-control.”
“Self-control?” I frowned. “I guess priests do have a lot of self-control, but I was thinking more about the confession booth. I bet people have told you all sorts of things.”
“You got something to tell me, Hailey?” Jack asked, his eyes searching mine.
The way he was playing with my fingers was causing too many tingles to flow through my arm. I pulled away with another forced smile. “Can I have the purple drink, only with absolutely no alcohol?”
He grinned at me. “Learned your lesson last time?”
“The hard way,” I agreed with a grimace.
“Coming right up,” Jack said, and I was tempted to stare at his hands while he made it. The band started up another song, and I turned to watch them instead. The female singer was hard to look at. She had a short cap of brown hair and looked extra skinny, reminding me of my biological mother.
Whom I’d let take up way too much of my mental space that day.
Jack put my drink in front of me, giving me a worried smile before moving down to give Brad his drink. A few more patrons pulled his attention, and it wasn’t until the band had finished their first set that he stood in front of me again. His steady eyes saw too much.
“You had a bad day?” he asked.
I dropped my eyes to the bar.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, but you know I’m here to listen if you do, right?”
Jack was always way too nice. “I know. It’s not that.”
“Good.” He tried a different route to cheer me up. “Hungry? I can bring you something.”
I hesitated. After the argument I’d had with Neil, my stomach hadn’t settled enough for dinner, but I didn’t feel hungry. I sighed, opening my mouth. “You wouldn’t have anything with chocolate, would you?” I didn’t remember seeing desserts on the menu.
Jack frowned. “No, I—” He smiled. “Actually, I might have something.” He turned around, telling Wendy he’d be right back before heading past the restrooms to the door marked Employees Only.
I sipped my drink, curiosity removing part of my funk. When he returned behind the bar with an enormous piece of chocolate cake with chocolate icing, I couldn’t help but grin.
“Where’d you get that?” I asked as he set it down in front of me.
He laughed. “It was my mother’s birthday this week. She forced me to take half of the cake home.”
“Then it’s yours. You should be eating it.” I tried not to stare at the cake, my mouth already watering.
Jack held up two forks. “I brought my own fork, didn’t I?”
I took one of the forks, going straight for the chocolate chips on top of the icing. “Fine, but you’re eating half.”
“The torture.” He dug his fork into the cake side. “Honestly, I shouldn’t eat anymore anyway. This is already the last of it. I’m going to need to double my time in the gym.”
I admired the way his black logoed shirt clung to his arms over his tattoos. “You go to the gym? I thought this was all natural.” I waved my chocolate-stained fork around his torso.
Jack snorted. “No way. I used to be scrawny with acne and oily hair and, of course, this big nose.” He pointed at it.
I enjoyed a moment of admiration. “I like your nose.”
“So you’ve said.” A pink tint spread over his cheeks. “I don’t want to admit how often I got bullied about my nose. All my looks, really. It wasn’t until I started working out that the girls noticed me, even after I learned to play the guitar.”
“Really? But there are plenty of women who find musicians sexy. Me included.”
“I was doing better with women by the time I was with the band,” Jack admitted, scooping up more cake.
“I bet there are a lot of women with their eye on the bartender, too,” I teased, though my heartbeat felt heavy. Did Jack have someone already, like Sean did?
He swallowed his cake. “No one lately,” he said, holding my gaze.
I dropped my eyes back to the cake, focusing as I forked up another bite. “What’s your mother like?” I asked.
Jack smiled, his eyes going distant as his thoughts shifted.
“She’s great. She was a total pushover when it came to me and my sister, spoiling us rotten.
She and my dad used to let us get away with too much.
Especially my sister.” His smile faded, and he closed his eyes, swallowing.
When he opened them again, he studied the cake.
“Mom is different at work, though. She wears power suits and leads meetings, the whole nine yards. She says every day her employees are gambling with someone else’s money, and that’s something to take seriously. ”
“She’s in finance?” I asked with a pleasant thump in my chest. “That’s what I do.”
“Yeah?” Jack smiled back. “I think she’d like you. Both of my parents would.”
My fork went limp as I stared back at him, the idea of it almost glittering in my mind.
“If you’re in finance, you must be good with money, like my mom,” he said. He stared down at the mostly demolished cake.
“I do okay,” I said, putting down my fork as my stomach twisted. “A lot better now than when I started out.”
“Yeah, starting out is tough. It took me a while to save up enough to open The Muse.” He looked around the bar fondly.
I reached for my drink, taking a sip to remove the dryness from my mouth.
“It might have been a little harder for me.” I looked over at where the musicians were getting ready for their next set, picturing someone else’s face.
It wasn’t hard to imagine at all, since I’d seen it that day.
“My mother used my social security number to get by before I knew that was a thing. By the time I was interested in getting a credit card, my credit was already shot.”
“That’s—she can go to jail for that, can’t she?” Jack’s eyes had narrowed.
I grimaced. “She was already in jail when I found out. The best way to clean it up was to report it. She got a few more years because I did.”
“I’m sorry, Hailey.” His hand found mine, squeezing. “That must have been hard.”
I shrugged. “The Millers helped me through it, but they were gone by the time she got out. She blamed me. Told me I owed her.” My hand shook under his.
“I agreed for a while. Every time she showed up asking for money, I gave it to her. It had been a while since she’d come around.
Maybe she was in jail again.” I drew in a breath.
“Today was the first time I didn’t give her any money when she showed up. She didn’t take it well.”
“That must have been even harder. Are you okay?” he asked, his thumb running over the back of my hand.
My eyes flooded. Neil hadn’t asked how I was at all. He’d avoided the whole thing and then been mad at how I’d handled it.
“She got really angry,” I admitted in a tight voice. “I had to pretend to call the cops before she would leave.”
“Oh, Hailey. No wonder you looked like you did walking in here tonight.”
“I’m fine,” I said, pulling my hand free to wipe at my eyes, willing the tears away. “I handled it.”
“You’re so strong, standing up to her like that.”
My chin lifted, and I stared at him.
“Really.” He nodded. “This sounds like a big step.”
“I’m still not sure I did the right thing,” I admitted. “If I’d given her the money, it would have been easier. She still knows my social security number. She’s more likely to try something now. Oh, but I’ve got alerts set up and everything. I’ll catch it quickly. And—”
“Hailey.” I liked the way he said my name. It wasn’t hard or angry. It was patient and kind. I swallowed the words that had been racing around my head, the world around me stilling.
“Do you really think you did the wrong thing? Or is that someone else in your head?”
I closed my eyes. I’d been babbling all my explanations to him just like I’d done with Neil. Neil, who’d been angry and scared, who had told me I was creating a future problem to deal with.
“Where was Neil during all this?” Jack asked.
I didn’t want to say. Jack already didn’t like Neil. “He gets uncomfortable when either of my biological parents show up. It doesn’t happen often, but just like when I was a kid, they appear out of nowhere sometimes. It’s not his fault. The Millers couldn’t even really help.”
Jack’s jaw tightened. “Where was he?” he asked again.
“He went to his parents’ house.” That was what he always did. He went there and left me alone to deal with it.
Jack swallowed, looking away. “And you’re okay with that?”
“It’s my problem to deal with. I can handle it.”
He closed his eyes. “Can you do something for me?”
“What?”
“Can you promise to call me next time?” He opened his eyes, searching mine. “I’ll let you handle it if that’s what you want, but I’m worried. Your parents don’t sound very stable. Something could happen, and someone should be there with you in case it does.”
It was hard to take a breath with the lump in my throat. “I almost did call you.”
“I wish you had. Why didn’t you?”
I shrugged, staring at the bubbles in my purple drink. “I thought it was too much to ask.”
“Nope. Not too much. I want you to call.”
The lump faded away. It was like air replaced it, a buoyancy growing inside of me. “Okay.”
“Good.” His smile was back, the crinkles appearing near his eyes.
I didn’t want to look away. “I feel better,” I whispered. The tension in my neck was even gone.
“So you’re all done with the chocolate cake?” Jack asked.
I laughed, picking up my fork. “No, we have to eat it all. Those are the rules of chocolate cake.”
He pushed it closer. “If you say so. You go first.”
I smiled at him around the delicious bite of cake knowing it was him, not the chocolate, that had made everything seem all right.