Twelve
Elias
Arien lies beside me on my bed in another skirt and no shirt. My fingers itch with need when he throws his leg over mine, sliding it up my thigh as he turns fully into me. “Hi.”
Staying silent, I move my eyes around as much as I can, watching every move he makes with his hands. At first, they slide up and down my side, over my clothes. Then he drags them down again in a sweeping motion, and this time when they come back up, he shoves them under my shirt.
Tingles cover the skin he touches and it’s like a fire is burning within me when what he’s doing isn’t enough. My eyes are stuck on that sultry mouth slathered in shiny lip gloss.
“You feel this good everywhere?” he asks between pants, as his fingers travel to my stomach and spread along my pecs. “You do here.”
With stuttering breaths, he undoes the tie in front of my pants and slides them halfway down my hips. “Here too.” He grins, pressing his fingers to the tip of my swollen cock head. “Want to see you get wet for me.”
I want him to see me too. As I’m wishing for more light, he reaches behind him to turn on the lamp. “Much better,” he says, returning his fingers to my shaft, sliding them up and down.
A moan escapes my lips. I’ve cried like this before, but never have I made a sound I’ve enjoyed. Shrieks and whimpers yes, but only because I wanted to move . . . to snap out of my torturous trance. I don’t want to now, not if it means he’ll disappear when I do. I want him to keep drawing pleasure and excitement from me. I want him to keep me with him.
Giving me gentle tugs, he kisses my neck and his tongue traces along my pulse point. I don’t deserve this. I really don’t. This is too good for someone like me. He’s too good. My brother is the one who needed the light in the dark. He needed a blessing in disguise. Why in this moment does it feel like it was saved for the wrong person? Wasted .
“I want to kiss your mouth, but I want our first one to be when you can kiss me back. So we’ll save that for later. For when I come over and you can touch me back. I really can’t wait, Elias.”
I can’t either. I’m so greedy for him. Those soft hands exploring random parts of my body while creating so much bursting pleasure inside me, and those soft lips leaving kisses all over my face.
Keeping his eyes lock on mine, he slides down my body and doesn’t move his hand from my cock until he’s able to replace it with his warm, welcoming mouth. He chokes a little, with sloppy tongue movements and too many teeth at first. Has he never done this before?
“Sorry. I’ve never done this to someone before.”
My insides light up, my heart smiling at the gift he’s giving me. He has no idea either. I’m not sorry at all.
His light-pink tongue darts out of his mouth, swiping a stripe across my slit, and his eyes widen as he sucks on my precum. He swirls his tongue around my base, working his mouth up and down, using fewer teeth this time. He uses his hand and his mouth to drive me to the edge, sparking life into my body, and I swear I can see those broken pieces I thought I left behind when I lost Brody. They float around me, linking together before finding their way back to me.
He takes me deeper, and I hit the back of his tight throat. He’s like a vise around me, tugging on me every time he swallows me down. Shaking, I come, and he disappears when my body moves too much, my muscles going limp from the exploding orgasm, and I tense all over as I shoot my load down his throat.
Licking and sucking, he gathers as much as he can, returning to me with bloodshot eyes and heavy breaths. Cum drips down his chin and he smiles up at me dreamily. So fucking pretty. Wiping his face and shoving what he missed the first time into his mouth with his fingers, he crawls up my body. He slides my pants back up, tucking me gently back inside, and he kisses my cheek.
“I look forward to doing that again tomorrow. So much yummier than any candy I’ve ever had.”
Humming sweetly, he buries his face in my bare chest and lies with me until I’m able to move again. Once he’s gone, I reach for the notepad on my nightstand and scribble down a few words.
Feel free to taste it anytime you grow bored again.
Dropping the pen, I head for the bathroom and take a quick shower, then I warm up some leftovers and park myself on the couch with my food in my hands. A movie is already playing when I look at the TV .
The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Shaking my head, I swallow back the laugh threatening to crawl up my throat. They’re easier to deprive myself of when they’re genuine—the fake ones don’t take as much effort after so much practice. But it’s the smiles I still struggle with . . . except for when I see him in my dreams.
Shoving a bite of enchilada in my mouth, I turn up the volume and scoot closer to the edge of the couch. This has to be one of his guesses. At least that’s what I think until I look closer and see a note that says, “This is my favorite.”
My next two hours are spent watching the movie and tidying up my house. Feeling restless afterward, I take down some boxes from the top of my closet and go through some of my brother’s things. So many pictures of him camping and hiking. So many pictures of us in our house.
I trail my fingers over the fishing lures I painted for him. I used to have favorite hobbies, but I buried them with the boxes when I left the town I grew up in. Going through more of his fishing gear, I stumble upon a necklace from a store whose name I’ve seen somewhere before. It’s gold and looks expensive. Was it a gift from someone? Sucking in a breath, I put it back and lift one of his shirts. I bury my nose in the fabric, smelling a hint of him there. His spicy cologne and sunblock.
Tears well in my eyes and I sob into the piece of clothing, folding in on myself. This is all I have left of him. All I’ll ever have left.
Minutes pass with me sitting on the floor surrounded by my brother’s things, and I stare into the void, feeling paralyzed in a different way. My phone rings and I ignore it at first. After stopping, it goes off again, and I peel myself off the floor to grab it from the living room.
“Hello?”
“Heya, jerk face.”
I push out an abrupt laugh for her. “Hey, Ames. How are you?”
“Doing okay. Wanted to ask you something.”
“Yeah?” I sit down on the first chair I come across at the kitchen table.
“You ever get on the Monster Match dating app?”
I lean back in the chair. “Not in a hot minute, why?”
“Well, guess who I stumbled upon on there today?”
“Who?” I press the phone tighter to my ear.
“Your ex-boyfriend?” I cross my ankles, glancing up at the ceiling.
“Nope. Guess again.”
“Dad?”
She bursts out laughing. “No, wait . . . that’s not funny.”
“It is a little bit.”
She groans. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. It was pretty fucking funny. Juice shot out of my nose.”
I almost break, curling in my lips. “Tell me who you saw already so I can gasp in surprise.”
“Arien.”
My heart stops. “Ohhh. That’s cool.”
“Oh, come on. I know you care. That ‘oh’ sounded like a cry for help with how long you stretched it out.”
“Why would I?” Because earlier he felt like mine. That’s why. She doesn’t know that, though.
“Oh, come on. You like him. Just admit it. You should get on there and send him a heart or roses.”
“And you should mind your own business,” I spurt.
“Ha. As if I’ve ever done that well.”
“I’m hanging up now, Amy.”
“Are you going to make it official so he can check the ‘taken’ box in his profile.”
“Bye, Ames.”
Her laugh dies as I hit the end button and I slam the phone on the table. Is he talking to other people? It’s not like we’re together or anything, so I can’t fault him if he is. My stomach shifts and I search his name on the app, finding him in a matter of seconds. He’s been active recently. My chest tightens. I stare at the phone for a long time before clicking on the envelope and sending him a message.
I Am Sleeping: Hi there.
Purple Lover: Hey. I didn’t know you were on here.
I Am Sleeping: I actually haven’t been in a really long time.
Purple Lover : Looks like we have another way to talk. And to think I was going to delete the app.
My breaths come out easier. Does he mean that? Is it because of me? Am I asking for too much if I want it to be?
I Am Sleeping: Why’s that?
Purple Lover: I think you know why.
I Am Sleeping: Tell me.
I shift in my seat, resting my elbows on the table.
Purple Lover : Because none of these guys on here are you.
Warmth spreads across my chest and reaches my lips. I smile. My lips lift with no intention of coming down anytime soon.
I Am Sleeping: What made you join to begin with?
Purple Lover: I was trying to draw a line . . . to remain professional.
I Am Sleeping: And how is that working out?
Purple Lover: Not very well.
A laugh slips past my lips. Not sure there’s any going back from it now. At least not when it comes to him.
I Am Sleeping: Whatcha doing, cutie?
Purple Lover: Getting ready to leave for work.
I Am Sleeping: In one of those cute skirts of yours?
My cock stirs in my pants at the thought.
Purple Lover: No, a dress.
I Am Sleeping: Let me see?
Seconds later, a photo of him standing in front of a mirror loads. He’s pursing his lips, his hair is tucked behind his ears, and he’s wearing a pink plaid dress with spaghetti straps. He looks phenomenal.
Another picture comes in and I choke on my next breath. Sitting in a chair, his legs are spread and he’s wearing black lace panties.
I Am Sleeping: Those are pretty panties. They for me?
Purple Lover: All of me is for you if you want it.
Fuck, do I ever.
I Am Sleeping: I do. Show me some more of what I get to have, baby.
Purple Lover: Okay.
I nearly drop my phone when I see him on all fours on the floor, with his ass in the air and his fingers tugging his underwear to the side to expose his purple pucker. Fuck. Me.
I Am Sleeping: Do I get to touch you this time?
Purple Lover: Yes.
I Am Sleeping: Hurry up and get here then.
Purple Lover: Show me what you’re wearing first.
Breaths stuttering, I pull my cock out of the top of my pants and stroke it as I snap a picture.
My stomach shakes from laughter when he sends a Gif of a monkey shoving a banana in his mouth.
Purple Lover : See you soon.
Tucking myself back into my pants, I send him a few hearts like my sister suggested and go downstairs to drink all the energy drinks my body can handle. No way am I falling asleep today.