Chapter Nine
Hal
I was holding my unicorn, the one I named Prince Snugglebug, when August messaged me about going to Chained together. It was the first time he acknowledged I was little, although after seeing the onesie, he knew.
That felt like a big step. Without meeting someone at a club, it was difficult to pinpoint the best time to let him in on my “little” secret. It shouldn’t be a secret. There was nothing wrong with it. But in our society, people judged, and it could cause rifts, or, in the case of dating, violence.
Despite not going there just the two of us, and not intending to play, I was still excited to go.
Chain had held an event that was basically the equivalent of sex club meets vendor fair.
It had been a great opportunity to be in that space together and learn a bit about what we each liked without the pressure a play scene would hold. August had the best ideas.
And now, here I was, holding my new bear stuffie, Huggles, in one hand, Prince Snugglebug in my other, telling them my itinerary for the night. “I’m going to August’s house to eat dinner. It’ll be so much fun. Daddy’s going to cook.”
He never stayed August for long. I probably shouldn’t be calling him Daddy yet, or maybe ever. It wasn’t a conversation we’d had, but I couldn’t help but think of him like that in my head. From that very first day, he personified what a Daddy was to me.
“It’s gonna be no pressure.” I looked at my two stuffies and wondered how full my room was gonna get if he was already spoiling me this much.
“I need you to sit on the bed. Be good because I’m leaving.”
August offered to pick me up, but I told him I’d get there myself. He insisted I at least take a ride-share instead of the bus. I agreed. If I had replaced my tire, I would have driven, but that still wasn’t on the horizon.
The driver regaled me with stories of his kid’s dance competitions, including nationals that were coming up, and I got distracted from the surrounding scenery. He surprised me when he pulled up in front of a beautiful house in an older neighborhood.
“This is you,” he said.
I got out and thanked him.
The door opened before I was even on the steps.
“Your house is gorgeous.” I held out the box of pastries I had picked up earlier that day. “I brought dessert.”
“Thank you,” he said, kissing my cheek. Butterflies swarmed. It didn’t take much with him.
He took me on a tour of the house. It was old and had all the character intact.
In some older homes I’d visited, they had completely modernized the interiors, with only exterior elements keeping their character.
This was so much better. He had projects started here, there, and everywhere.
It was like my apartment, in that way, just on a larger scale.
“I know you like pasta, so I made some homemade meatballs tonight.”
“That sounds wonderful. Can I help?”
He said I could set the table.
When I opened the cabinet to get the plates, I saw there were a couple of little dishes on the side.
My initial reaction was that of jealousy.
I hated that about myself. Of course, he’d had other littles in his life before.
He was a grown-ass man. But then I saw the plastic wrap still on them.
They were new. I wasn’t cocky enough to think they were for me, but I was hoping to be the first one to use them.
The dinner was amazing. I loved meatballs—good meatballs, frozen meatballs, even the crappy ones at some of the sandwich shops. I’d never had any as wonderful as these.
“That’s my grandmother’s recipe. Hers are better than mine, but I do okay.”
“You’re more than doing okay.”
I ate enough meatballs to feed a neighborhood. Zero regrets.
“It looks like you have a lot of projects happening here.”
“Yeah, there’s a ton on my to-do list.”
“Did you recently buy the house?”
“Depends on what you mean by ‘recently,’ but sort of.” He explained how it was a family home that his grandparents had lived in and then his parents had.
I loved listening to him talk about his family, the love he had for them shining bright.
They loved and accepted him for who he was.
They probably didn’t know he was a daddy, but they knew about him being gay, and they didn’t look at him as any less for it.
That wasn’t something I could say was true for my family. They’d finally gotten to the point where they ignored it, but they always saw it as their failing somehow, which was why I went home as rarely as possible.
I helped clear the table, and we opened the desserts.
“These are adorable! Where did you get them?”
He plated up the pastry. They were all shaped like cuteness. One was a chicken, another a duck, a third a teddy bear. I dared anyone to look at them and not smile.
They weren’t realistic in a way that would make you feel gross eating them, like some I’d seen on the internet. They were just cute, little cartoony fun. I couldn’t wait to try them.
“There’s a new bakery on Fifth and Windy Road. They have a lot of variety, but they had an entire shelf of all these cute designs. According to the reviews, they taste as good as they look.”
The reviews were right. They were delicious.
I offered to help with the dishes, but August said to leave them until morning. He didn’t want to waste time with me washing dishes. It was sweet. I still felt bad. He shouldn’t be doing all the work.
Instead, we sat on the couch to pick out a movie.
And that was when I made my mistake. I yawned.
“Looks like somebody is ready to go home. I’ll grab my car keys.”
I grabbed his wrist. There were many things I wanted to do tonight. Going home wasn’t one of them.
August had been very clear about what he wanted from our dates, seeing that I needed it after the dinner delivery fiasco. It was only fair I gave the same energy back. If only it were that easy.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. I just… I…”
“Take your time to say what you need to say. There’s no hurry.”
And those were the exact words I needed to hear to gather up my bravery and ask for what I wanted.
“Instead…maybe…could I stay here? With you? In your bed? After we do…things?”
“Things.”
He pressed his palm to my cheek. I leaned into it and nodded. It had been hard enough for me to get that much out.
“Do you mean sex?”
Another nod.
“It looks like that was hard for you to say.”
“Mmm.”
“Well, in that case, your telling was extra brave, and your bravery deserves a reward.”
“How do you reward bravery, Daddy?” It was the first time I’d let that slip out. I waited for him to correct me.
He didn’t, instead saying, “By giving the brave boy exactly what he asked for.”