2. Chapter 2
Chapter two
Jake
“I kind of thought this would move slower.” Jake sat wedged in the back of an SUV with Bunny on his left and Aras on his right. Very cozy, with all seven of them and a driver in there, heading down the side streets of Springfield, Illinois to get to their first house. Their first episode.
And none of them had killed each other in the six months between signing the contract and heading out for filming. Sounds like a win to me.
They turned left onto a street shaded heavily by trees. Most of the homes here were built in the 1920s, according to the research they’d done. Old Aristocracy Hill was a hell of a name for a neighborhood to live up to, but as far as Jake could see, it was doing a decent job. All two-story homes, well-kept, manicured lawns, clean sidewalks. A far cry from the kinds of run-down homes they were used to back in Pine Point. Springfield was an actual proper city, which helped. Pine Point was a five-thousand person town tucked into the Cascade Mountains. Different worlds entirely.
The SUV slowed and pulled up into a driveway in front of…Jake wouldn’t be so rude as to call the place ugly, but it was definitely the eyesore of the neighborhood. Lawn a little too dead and a lot too long, blue siding faded, furniture left outside to peel and rot on the covered porch. And generally, in spite of the camera crew and production staff already milling about, it had an air of emptiness about it.
As soon as they stopped, all four doors popped open and everyone piled out. It was fairly warm, high-sixties, but the trees lining the sidewalk still left a slight chill on Jake’s skin as he took in…a lot. Not just the house. Hell, he could barely focus on the house with everything else going on. Two trailers had been tucked away into one corner, as out of the way as they could be without leaving the property, and everyone seemed to come and go from those, spreading out around the property. Camera equipment and folding chairs sat at the edge. And nobody touched anything. It made sense, sure. The point of the show was to fix things up, so it wouldn’t be fruitful for the production crew to start clearing things out before they started filming.
But with all these people, we could get this done in half the time.
Jake shook the thought off when he saw Eliza pop out of the closest trailer and stride over to them. A button-down and slacks, but no suit jacket this time. “You made it, good. We’re just about set up for the walk-through.” Her mouth bowed down into a frown. “You’re all aware that the grandpa here couldn’t take care of things very well, right? You’re cleared to not use PPE on the walk-through, but once we start the actual cleanup and demo and everything, you’ll want to. It’s a lot worse than I was bargaining for, so once we start moving stuff, the air’s not going to be friendly.”
“I’m sure it’s fine.” Jake nodded. “We’ve probably dealt with worse. You should see some of the stuff that we cut out of the videos.”
Eliza’s face flattened back out. “Well, just be prepared. We’ll do the interior with everyone, then Jake, Bunny, and Ozzy can do a look around the outside.” She pointed back to the trailers. “Hair, makeup, wardrobe are back there, and we’ll get you outfitted with lav mics and packs in the other trailer. Shouldn’t take long.”
Aras snorted. “I didn’t sign up to be paraded around like a prized hog at the county fair. I’m here to do electrical work and make money.”
Eliza threw her hands up in front of her chest. “Nobody’s going to make any of you do anything, unless it’s going to be just awful on camera. Or get us in hot water. Offensive language on shirts, that kind of thing. But you can say no.”
“He was.” Jake bumped Aras with his shoulder, enough to rock him a little bit. “Aras just doesn’t like to turn on his people skills as much as he maybe should.”
“We can’t all be big, blonde puppy dogs like you.” With that, Aras stepped back. So mission accomplished, even if he did apparently have to land one more insult in.
Eliza pulled herself up taller—which didn’t accomplish much at five-three—then nodded. “We want to get going as soon as we can so that we can get you together with the new owner and start in on the house. I’m crossing fingers we can have that all done today.” She stepped aside and gestured again to the trailers. “We’ve only got three weeks here, otherwise I wouldn’t be quite so pushy.”
As they walked toward the two trailers, Bunny whispered, “She’s got a spine on her. Didn’t flinch when Aras did Aras things at her.”
Jake nodded. “Not too badly. Let’s just hope Ozzy and Evander are on good behavior so she doesn’t run screaming.”
After a real ChapStick and mascara sort of hair and makeup session—only an hour to pinch cheeks and, in Jake’s case at least, run some pomade through his hair—they stood on the front porch, a camera behind them, crew dressed in all black, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.
Mason glanced once over his shoulder and, when he got the thumbs up from Eliza and Vince, the director of photography, opened the front door. They’d been assured this wouldn’t be a big speaking section. They’d do voiceover in post to get them actually talking about the place, probably interspersed with confessionals. But the footage would ‘speak for itself’ at first.
As they walked in, it certainly spoke loud and clear to Jake. They couldn’t actually open the front door all the way, it was so packed in with stuff. Shoes and coats and scarves and gloves all stacked in a pile right by the door. When they got in, shimmying single file, the problem continued on. The short entryway gave into what was likely supposed to be a living room, but any signs of furniture were obscured by boxes and bags and totes. As they moved on, the kitchen was a little better, with a pathway carved through all the stuff, but it was only barely what Jake would call usable. Same with the stairs heading up, but those had a much more glaring problem.
Jake peeled away from the group and ran his hand along the warping wood on the outside of the staircase. “Water damage. Which isn’t a good sign. If this goes deeper, we might have to repair the entire staircase. Just for safety.” He dug his fingers in, checking it, and luckily he couldn’t peel the wood away quite that easily.
“Good bones, though.” Evander walked with his hands behind his back and craned his neck, looking as far into the living room as he could. “Have to check it over once it’s clear, but it’s a good layout, I think.”
Up the stairs, the mass of stuff got even worse. Three bedrooms and a bathroom, and only two of those—the smallest bedroom and the singular upstairs bathroom—were even remotely accessible. A single strip of the mattress had been left exposed, surrounded by unopened envelopes and packages and piled with pillows still in the wrappers. The bathroom was…not okay. Not clean, to be certain. Jake cringed, thinking about someone having to live like that, but he didn’t step inside. Nobody did. Black mold and orange bacteria and limescale as far as the eye could see, and the floor clearly hadn’t been mopped in…well, a while.
The doors of the other two bedrooms could only open about a foot. Enough to get an arm in, but no more than that.
It was only once he stepped back outside that Jake realized how strong the smell was inside the house. Some combination of dust and mildew and the faintest bit of cleaning chemicals. No pet smells or food rot, at least. But striking.
“Let’s keep this train moving.” Ozzy gestured toward the fence gate off to the side. “We’ll see what we can do.”
Bunny followed behind him and they muttered to each other, pointing at different parts of the landscaping. Jake took two steps, caught his foot on a thick root, and face-planted straight into a foot of grass. His nose throbbed as he pushed back up to his feet.
“You good?” Ozzy stood inside the open gate, looking back at him.
“Good. Just tripped. There’s some tree roots coming up through the ground here. Just so you know when you’re planning.”
He rolled his eyes. “Great. That’s not going to be annoying at all.” He rapped his knuckles on the fence, then headed in, and Jake jogged behind to catch up, keeping a much more careful eye on his surroundings while also examining the exterior of the house for any obvious issues. Nothing jumped out at him, which was a relief, but not a shock. Part of getting ready to film had been bringing out an inspector to make sure it was actually a safe place to walk into, that it didn’t need to just be bulldozed.
When he came stepped into the back yard, Jake cringed. The entire rear half of the fence had fallen in, leaving only two posts still standing and the boards scattered around. There was a shed in one corner, or at least what was left of it. And bigger than just about anything, the back deck had apparently burned at some point, and the previous owner hadn’t been able to fix it up or tear it down or anything. “I feel like some important information was missing from the report.”
“You think?” Ozzy shook his head, stepping back over to stand next to Jake. “They probably want honest reactions or some bullshit when we talk to the new owner. Sensationalizing the death of his grandfather. Glad we’re on board for this.” He scoffed, patted Jake on the shoulder, then headed back to keep checking the yard.
Jake was pretty sure he was right, however.