34. Chapter 34
Chapter thirty-four
Jake
Finally, Jake got to get out of the hotel room and head back to the job site. Getting out like that didn’t make the car ride any more pleasant to go through. He was crammed into the SUV with everyone, although thankfully Ozzy was in the very back and he was in the front seat. Nobody seemed ready to argue that point, and he didn’t care if it was because they wanted the two of them separated or if they were just babying him over his trip and fall.
It was mostly silent once they all got out and started toward the trailers. Mason tried a handful of times to lift the mood, but nobody was having it. Especially Jake. While he was happy for a little more freedom, he didn’t have the energy to pretend. Not then and there. He didn’t want to be around Ozzy anymore, that much was for sure. He hated the feeling of being back at that house and looking at all the work they’d been doing, reminding him of Quinn.
And he couldn’t stop the incessant voice in his head, insisting the collapse of everything was on his shoulders. He couldn’t keep his shit together. He got involved and fucked everything up. He failed to reconcile.
All the excitement of the gang getting back together had faded, leaving him some combination of numb cold and hot rage.
“Boys. Bunny.” When they were almost at the trailers, Eliza’s voice called over from the front porch. She was back in a black suit, with her hair tied back into a tense bun. When they turned to look at her, she waved them over. “We need to have a chat before we do anything. Maybe a long one.”
Her shoulders were back and high, but stiff, and she was standing unnaturally still, like she was holding herself back from even the slightest movement. One more weight added to the pile on Jake’s shoulders. This was her first time out as a show runner, and because he’d fucked up, it was about to ripple out and knock her over. Maybe it already had.
They headed inside and into the living room. The large, L-shaped sofa had been moved in during his imprisonment in the hotel, as well as the coffee table and two armchairs, and they’d attached his low, custom shelving unit to the wall, stretching it across the back of the couch.
They all took their spots, Jake and Mason in the chairs, Aras, Bunny, Ozzy, and Evander on the couch, and Robinson sitting cross-legged on the floor, resisting every insistence to get up on the couch or grab a chair from somewhere else.
Eliza stood in the little entry point to the sitting area, hands clasped behind her back, and scanned around all of them before starting in. “I think it might be time to get blunt with all this. I’ve already told Quinn we’re finishing this job, even if it takes longer. I haven’t made any other decisions, and neither have my higher-ups. We can still make the next house, it just means we won’t really have any rest time between jobs. A day or two at most, if we push like hell to get the work done fast here.” She looked up at the ceiling, but only half a second before snapping her gaze back down. “Where do you all stand, and where does the show stand? Total honesty. I need the lay of the land, Homescapes needs it, and you all need it so you can make informed decisions.”
Like her appearance suggested, she meant business today. Jake looked around at everyone, and they all did the same, like no one wanted to break the ice and say the wrong thing. But he couldn’t help but notice that too many eyes landed on him too long, too often.
Maybe it was too much isolation, or the fact that Ozzy had the nerve to join in, waiting for him to do something, or it was just being in Quinn’s house again, but his filter broke. If they wanted him to talk about it, then by God he would talk about it. “You want honesty? Fine. I’m not respected, and maybe it was always like this or maybe it’s new, but that’s how I’m feeling. And why the hell should I stick around and do this if you don’t respect me?” He didn’t yell, even though he easily could have, but mincing words was off the table.
Eliza nodded when no one else said anything. “So I take it that’s one vote against sticking with the show. Now I’m not trying to put the pressure on with this, but to make certain you all understand the situation: Homescapes will be asking for their currently received payment back. But they’ve already told me that they’re open to repayment plans.”
The silence hung in the air forever before Mason finally broke it. “I don’t want this to be over. And I don’t want us to end on this note. I’m in for the long haul.” He angled himself in the armchair to look straight on at Jake. “If there’s something I can change about how I’m treating you—”
“Stop being self-sacrificing, Mason.” Ozzy shook his head, fidgeting on the couch and tucking his legs up underneath himself. “We’re all adults. He’s talking about me, not you and your endless wellspring of positivity.”
“I am talking about you, but there’s plenty to go around.” Jake sighed and looked at the floor. Easier than looking at everyone when he went into it. “I’m not just a workhorse for you. I have things I want to do. I’m tired of managing emotions for everyone and keeping the peace. I had a good thing going with Quinn, and I messed it up, but it’s not like anyone here helped the situation.” Another thought rose up and he almost quashed it. But if they were going to do this, then there was no point holding it back. “And you know what? I’m tired of comments about how stupid I am.”
Mason jumped right in. “Jake, come on—”
“No. I’m not ‘coming on’ about this. I know how you all think of me, and I hear the way you talk. And yeah, especially you, Ozzy. I know I’m not the smartest guy in the whole galaxy or whatever. But I’m not some walking, bumbling idiot.”
A beat of silence yet again. Then Robinson stood. “I’m sorry.”
Jake sucked in a sharp breath, then finally looked up, right into Robinson’s face. His instincts rushed up, telling him to push back against the implied accusation. He couldn’t think of anything that Robinson had done. But if he was apologizing, he felt some responsibility. So Jake just nodded.
“Shit. I’m sure I’ve run my mouth about something.” Aras leaned forward. “Probably while we’re on the job here.” He clicked his tongue. “I don’t think you’re an idiot. Smack the crap out of me if I start making you feel bad.”
The murmurs of agreement, and of apology, moved through the room. And eventually, all the eyes in the space left him and moved over to Ozzy. He looked up at the ceiling, shaking his head, fidgeted and squirmed in place. His face tinged pink. But he didn’t run off, which Jake had to give him some credit for. Much as it annoyed him to give Ozzy any credit for anything.
“You’re damn good at what you do.” Ozzy said it to the air, not anyone in particular. “I trust you on a job like this. That’s saying a lot. I wouldn’t trust an idiot. I wouldn’t rely on an idiot to help me build out the stuff for my landscaping.”
“Oh, so I’m useful to you.”
“Jesus Christ, Jake. You just want to be mad at me because it’s easier to blame me for this whole thing, is that it?”
Jake shook his head, laughed just at the sheer audacity. “You think I haven’t spent two days blaming myself for the entire mess? I know I fucked up. I know I’m still fucking everything up. I know I shouldn’t have done anything that I did. That’s not the problem I have with you.”
“Then what is it?”
“You’re a douchebag.”
Ozzy rolled his eyes. “I’ve been a douche as long as you’ve known me. Don’t go assuming I’m not self-aware. You’re not the first person over the years to tell me that.”
“Then why don’t you change something and stop?” Jake grabbed hard onto the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. “What is the self-awareness doing for you if it alienates everyone who likes you? Because I do like you, you jackass. Most of the time.”
“Well do you think I’m spending time with you because I don’t like you? Just torturing myself. Almost sounds like you’re calling me stupid.”
“Being locked into a death spiral with someone you don’t like isn’t a matter of smart or not. You’re trapped in this business relationship, and the past relationship.” Now that he was talking, the tension started to release from his chest. He held eye contact with Ozzy and kept on letting everything come out, trying to make himself feel a little less bad, a little more at peace. “I’m sorry if you’re stuck with me. You don’t need to protect my feelings. But that doesn’t mean you get to treat me like a moron. And you know what? It doesn’t make up for bothering Quinn like that. You had to know he wasn’t cool with it from how he was acting.” Jake sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m the stupid one and I was able to figure out to not push stuff with him. I’m sure you could do it.”
“I’m going to prove you’re not stupid, and that I don’t think you’re stupid.” Ozzy jumped to his feet. “Outside. We’re working together on whatever project you’ve got going. We need all hands on deck to get it done, and Linda’s crew can handle the mop-up on the landscaping without me for a day.”
Jake screwed up his face. “I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling stupid. How does helping me prove that you respect me?”
“Trust me. It’ll be clear.” He turned toward Eliza. “I’m not cutting and running on this quite yet. Not going to let the collapse of this whole project land on my shoulders.” Then he marched out, leaving everyone to just stare.
Eliza was the one to break the silence after his departure. “Can…fuck, I’m tried of pretending everything is fine.” Her shoulders slumped and she took Ozzy’s seat on the couch. “One of you who knows him, explain what the fuck is happening so I can slow down my god damn heart.”
Another beat, then Evander spoke up. “He’s attempting to mend bridges. Sometimes it works.” He shrugged. “I don’t know what he has planned, but he’s got some kind of grand scheme he wants to pull off.”
Jake rose with a groan. “I guess I should go see him try.”