Chapter 13 #2
Eventually, his breathing’s deep and even, and I know he’s sleeping.
Only then do I peek at his prosthesis and then at his face, relaxed in sleep.
As for the prosthesis, it’s sleek and looks like something from the future, in artfully molded plastic and metal components that look as high-end as the rest of Will.
After a long struggle with myself, I shut off the light, undress to my boxers because it’s a hot night and I need to wear the same clothes tomorrow. Finally, I get into the other side of the bed, excruciatingly aware of how close he is to me.
It’s impossible to sleep under these conditions. Or do anything else. I can hardly get off. Or risk a hard-on in bed. No way.
I desperately try to think of unsexy thoughts.
Think about something else, Dylan.
I try not to sweat. Or panic about the idea that I’m sleeping with my rival turned frenemy in a bed somewhere in northern England.
Even if he’s not feeling well. Especially because he’s not feeling well.
And now I know more than he wanted me to know about him.
I don’t feel great about that, and I can’t help but think what a weird day this has been together.
In turn, he knows more about me than I meant to reveal too.
I can’t believe I mentioned my mom.
And I can’t believe he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Or, I suppose, a leg. I’m not sure which reveal is more shocking. Plus, it sucks that he has a migraine, and I’m sure he’s not feeling great about being sick in front of me either. I’m glad I’ve been able to be useful to him at least today.
I guess we’re both vulnerable now. Never mind we’re both practically naked in a bed together.
A small bed.
Worse, I don’t even know what to feel other than overwhelmed as his heat radiates beside me. And it’s going to be a very long, very sleepless night.
Despite the odds, I must have fallen asleep because I’m waking up in a strange bed.
Which isn’t exactly an unusual thing for me, finding myself in a random bed.
At least it’s more comfortable than the bed in my flat share.
Then I’m aware of something else, that someone’s arm is across my chest as I lie on my back.
I try to blink away sleep, getting my bearings.
I glance to the side to clock the arm’s owner. It’s everything I can do not to swear and hop out of bed and all the way into the next country. It’s not because I’m horrified to see Will.
Just shocked. Very shocked.
Did something happen?
Last night tumbles back in a blur. Migraine. No sex.
I’m totally disappointed as I come to terms with the fact that nothing actually did happen. Which should be good, right? Excellent news, because he was ill, and I’m hardly taking advantage. And there’s the whole frenemy status thing again. Still. If anything, he’s taking advantage, right?
No harm in this, though. It’s fine. It’s perfectly fine.
He sleeps on through my silent screaming meltdown, positively blissful.
I don’t dare move. Or breathe.
Fuck, he’s actually really hot? I glance at his face. Yup, definitely.
I squeeze my eyes in despair.
This is terrible. Terrible. When did I start having a thing for Will, of all people? For crying out loud, this is a problem.
No way. No how.
I blame my cock, which is showing signs of life that it really, really doesn’t need to show right now. Like it could fuck off and die, anytime. And I blame Will’s migraine. And his parents for having him. And the museum for my internship. And also, cronyism for his internship, while I’m at it.
“Dylan?” he asks thickly, opening his eyes a crack.
“Y-yes?” I whisper back, mid-spiral. God help me.
He smiles and closes his eyes again. A glorious, sweet smile. Like he’s actually pleased to see me? Me. Oh my God, he saw me in his bed and didn’t freak the fuck out. Like, what?
Like this is normal.
Fuck. Me.
I bite my lip. Partly to keep from talking and ruining the moment. Partly because God knows what I’d say. All I know is that my mouth is a complete, one hundred percent liability.
He shifts then, his head half on the pillow, half on my shoulder, and quickly falls asleep again. And I have no idea how long I stay frozen, not wanting to move, not wanting to ruin this moment that I’m going to imprint into my memory for all time.
He thinks he’s still dreaming. Don’t get excited.
But he said my name.
Fuck.
I study the ceiling, black timbered wood beams overhead. I have no idea how many people have lain here and stared awkwardly up at the ceiling and tried to make sense of their unlikely situation.
His arm is still across my chest.
When I wake up, it’s my turn to find Will gazing at me. My face warms instantly. He gives me a sheepish smile. I’m terribly disappointed he’s not touching me in any way.
It’s for the best, I tell myself sternly. Touching only leads to trouble. Just like thinking. No touching equals no trouble. Problem solved.
And, God, Will’s rumpled and delicious. There’s color in his face too. His eyes are confirmed blue. The way the slant of sunlight falls from the window, I can also see the gold flecks in his eyes.
“Hi,” I whisper unsteadily.
“Thanks for yesterday,” Will murmurs, his voice thick with sleep. He’s probably still dreaming. Or maybe I am.
“Feeling better?” I can barely draw in a breath. Or barely speak. Shit.
He’ll think you’re groggy from waking up, not from losing your mind. Act cool.
I search Will’s eyes, looking for some manner of explanation, some cue on what to do. After all, we’re undeniably still together in the same small bed. My heart thuds.
“Dylan?” he whispers.
“Yeah?”
“This is weird.” Confirmation he’s actually awake.
“Yeah.”
We’re quiet, the tension between us unspoken and thick. I can’t stand it and shift slightly to look at him better. Then he’s pressing close, and God help me, we’re nose to nose.
His eyelashes are magnificent.
“Dylan?” he asks again, his voice unsteady.
It’s impossible to speak. To hell with it. So, impulsively, I pull Will close, half onto me, and brush his lips with mine. And fuck, his mouth burns, in the best way possible.
And then, the most unbelievable thing happens.
Will’s kissing back—kissing me like he means it.
Like he wants it. Like he wants me. God.
His mouth yields or mine does, and he’s warm and close as he wriggles tight against my chest. My heart soars somewhere out of my body, goose bumps covering my arms at this unexpected ecstasy of having Will want me, too, as badly as I want him.
We press together hard, his hands on either side of my head, our kisses increasingly desperate and seeking. They’re deep and clumsy and, as far as I’m concerned, perfect in their rawness. I’m euphoric, encouraging him, thrilled. I shiver. “Yeah, like that—”
And then, I’m lost to anything but Will.
My fingers dig into his back. He gives this deep sort of desperate moan that does me in, and we’re kissing and kissing, rough and soft at the same time, and I’m aching in my boxers—
“Wait.” At last, Will breaks free, gasping as he holds himself at arm’s length, looking down at me. “We shouldn’t. I—can’t.”
“Fuck.” I flop onto my back and stare at the ceiling again, reeling from the sudden stop.
I’m gasping, failing to breathe again like a normal person, my heart pounding a relentless rhythm in my ears.
I regret every single last thing I’ve ever done to deserve such punishment to have something so amazing start and stop as quickly.
It’s probably not undeserved, though. I’ve done other wicked things too.
I turn my head to look at Will. He’s flushed, looking overwhelmed. “You… you’re… so brilliant. And I… I think I’m still… still not feeling well.”
“’Kay. Okay.” That brings me back to reality in a sobering instant. I suck back a deep breath to steady myself.
He said I’m brilliant. Like he actually likes me. Like he actually means it.
Maybe one year, blood will stop flowing to my cock, but at least he hasn’t noticed, or if he has, he’s not mentioned it. Mercifully, we’re not touching.
“I really liked it, though,” he whispers shakily. “So you know.”
Confirmation, then. Holy shit.
I don’t even know what to think or say. Realization dawns that Will—Will—was as eagerly kissing me as I kissed him a few moments ago. That he wants me. Incredible.
When Will comfortably pillows his head against my shoulder, it’s my turn to put my arm—still covered in goose bumps—over him with care.
Skin to skin. It’s electric, truly.
A sound escapes me, kind of like a whimper. Okay, it’s an actual whimper.
But sexual frustration never killed anyone. Or attraction.
Get a grip.
“What can I do?” I ask softly, into this quiet. I don’t want to ruin the moment. I also don’t want Will to suffer if he’s not feeling well. It doesn’t matter how flustered I am.
What new reality is this? What are the rules?
“Water. Tablets. In a minute. Please, if you don’t mind.” Will glances blearily at me.
“’Kay. Of course.” I gulp air in an attempt to steady myself. “I can do that.”
Shit, it’s not like he can simply hop out of bed and get water. Not without his leg.
Everything’s crashing back, and it’s so much.
And right now, the world’s lying in my arms, and I’ll do everything in my power today to keep him close, keep him well, and keep him safe.
Later, I enjoy an icy shower by choice, and admittedly, I get off during it to relieve some of this built-up tension because there are serious odds of me bursting otherwise. Will’s wearing his leg and boxers when I step out of the bathroom, sitting on the side of the bed.
“All yours,” I say lightly, nodding in the direction of the bathroom, then hover beside Will as he makes a false start in getting up.
He frowns, gripping the edge of the bed, looking pale.
“You want any help?” I try gingerly, not sure if it’s an appropriate question to ask or how he feels about offers of assistance or—
Will shakes his head.
I suppose that’s an answer. My shoulders drop a little.
After a second false start, Will meets my gaze, looking sheepish. “Maybe I could use a little help. My balance is off with the migraine…”
“Of course.” I practically bolt over in my eagerness to help, giving him a hand up and a steadying arm for a moment until he gives me the nod to let him go. “You’ll be alright?”
“I’ll shout if I need anything.” Will carefully gathers his clothes from yesterday, walking more slowly than usual.
When he takes his turn with the shower after me, I can’t help but wonder if he’s done the same thing, getting off in the shower, though odds are against since he’s not feeling great. It’s distracting me all over again.
But eventually, he’s out. Unfortunately dressed. And wearing his leg again. Or still. I’m not sure which.
Somehow, reality’s shifted back to the usual, like that moment in the bed together never happened. Like I imagined it. It’s probably for the best it didn’t.
“How’re you feeling?” I ask. A reasonable question. “Are you hungry?”
Will shrugs, looking uncertain. “I don’t know. Somewhat better? I’m not hungry, though.”
I nod, which is a bit worrying because he hasn’t eaten in like a day.
“I’m starving,” I confess reluctantly. “I don’t know if you want to watch me eat or if you’d rather rest. Checkout’s at eleven, so we’ve got another hour.”
After a moment of hesitation, Will nods. He sits in the chair. “Maybe I’ll rest.”
So, I leave him alone in the room, while I have a full English breakfast in the pub to keep me going.
While I’m downstairs, I check to see if the room’s available for another night, but unfortunately, it’s not.
Disappointing. And also, it’s a bit worrying because we have to get back to London.
Or, I suppose, find another room. I don’t know if I can survive a second morning waking up like that with Will in my arms. I’ll burst.
At fifteen minutes to 11:00 a.m., I go back upstairs and bring Will a cup of tea and load our things into the Land Rover. When I return, he’s standing outside of the door to the pub on the pavement, looking a bit brighter than yesterday, but not quite his usual self either. He squints at me.
“What would you like to do next?” I ask him, passing over my sunglasses, which he puts on without complaint.
“We have options. I can try to find us another hotel in this village or somewhere nearby. I can drive us back to London. We can go have lunch. Or do some other option I haven’t thought of yet. ”
Will smiles. “How about we pick up a few groceries and go sit outside somewhere? I think the fresh air will help me feel better. Then we’ll see.”
“Anything you want,” I say in a rush, and we go do just that.