Chapter Four #3
“Perfetta. Mia Stellina,” I growl, nuzzling her neck and kissing the love bite I left on her skin last night. "Are you okay?"
“Yeah,” she whimpers, rolling her hips slowly against mine to test the connection. “It feels…oh!” she gasps when I rock into her. “Oh God, Antonio…do it again.”
“You like that?” I rasp, my chest heavy with need as I band my hands around her waist and rock up into her.
She moans, tightening her hands around my shoulders as her hips begin to move restlessly over mine.
It’s tempting, so fucking tempting to spin her onto the couch and hammer into her like an animal, but I don't want to test my bad leg and ruin the moment.
Fucking hell, Marco Bortelli is going to pay for this!
“Antonio,” Emilia moans when I guide her to lift her hips slightly before pulling her back onto my cock. “Oh God…again.”
I would laugh at her bossy nature outside treatment if my balls weren’t threatening to explode. Fuck, I don’t know how much longer I can hold on when she feels so warm and tight, pulsing around my cock. “Oh fuck, you’re so tight!” I growl, gripping her hips, my cock sawing into her hot flesh.
She moans, and her movements grow frantic, moaning as she rubs her tits against my chest. When I feel myself teeter dangerously closer to the edge, I drop a hand between us and stroke her clit with the pad of my thumb as she rides me.
Her lips part with gasping breaths, and her movements grow frantic.
“Oh God, Antonio,” she chants, nails digging into my shoulders as her hips rock faster and more desperate over mine until…
“Antonio!” she screams, throwing her head back as her pussy locks hard around my shaft before releasing with a shudder that rolls through her body.
I rock into her, one, twice before letting go as I flood her with my cum.
I bury my face in her neck and suck hard on her skin as violent tremors crash over us, fierce and destructive.
I hold on tightly to her as I rock up, pumping my dick into her and finally empty myself into her hot pussy. There’s pain and pleasure, both of which I’ve never felt with anyone before. Never quite as strong.
Mine.
The word echoes in my head over and over again as the wet squelching from our connection fills the library. She rocks slowly against me, moaning with pleasure as we squeeze out every drop of pleasure until we’re both drained.
Mine.
My body and mind acknowledge the fact that no one will ever make me feel the way this woman does. Even as my heart fights the notion, it’s a fact that I’ll never want anyone as much as I want her.
But I can’t have her.
Not forever.
Nothing lasts forever.
***
“Did you have lunch?”
Emilia’s head rests on my chest, her soft breath fanning my throat most tantalizingly, and when she turns her head to look at me, I can’t help but admire just how beautiful she looks.
“Lunch? You’re thinking about food?” she laughs.
I smirk. “What can I say? We worked up an appetite after that. Or would you like me to eat something else?” I ask, leaning in to nibble her lips and making her laugh. “You look so fucking beautiful when you laugh. I love the sound of it.”
She flushes, ducking her head as she avoids meeting my eyes. "Let's head down and see if we can grab something from the kitchen," she says. Her flush deepens as her eyes drop between our naked bodies. “We should, umm…probably clean up first.”
“Good idea.”
She winces as I help her straighten up, grabbing her sweater from where I tossed it earlier and helping her into it. “There’s a bathroom down the hallway, let’s use that one.”
She nods, blushing again when I grab her torn panties and shove them into my pocket before grabbing my cane and following her out. We don’t talk much as we clean up. Her flush deepens, turning her cheeks apple red as I run a wet towel between her thighs and clean up the evidence of our lovemaking.
“I can do that,” she argues, reaching for the towel, but I shake my head.
“Let me do this for you,” I rasp, running the towel between her silky-smooth thighs as I lean in to kiss her. “Perfetta, so beautiful.” We spend another ten minutes in the bathroom, making out. When my cock starts getting a little too eager, I push back. “Let’s get something into you.”
“You mean other than you?”
I choke back a laugh. “Yes, other than me.”
The air is easy between us as we head for the kitchen. “Mama said you didn’t take any painkillers this morning,” she says, taking slower steps to keep pace with me. “How are you feeling now?”
“There’s a dull throb, but I’ll be fine in no time. You’re an excellent doctor.” I turn to her just in time to watch twin spots paint her cheeks and those long lashes flutter with pleasure. “This is not the first time I’ve been shot, you know.”
“Yeah, you seem to like flirting with trouble.”
“That I do,” I agree and realize I’m still doing it by staying around her.
The kitchen is empty when we make it there.
I grin when my sexy little dottoressa instructs me to sit as she fixes us lunch.
I offer to help, but one glare has me chuckling as I sit back to watch her.
She moves around with ease, humming as she grabs the utensils to prepare what I assume is a panini from the ingredients she takes out of the fridge.
I watch her prepare it, and as the smell of food fills the kitchen, I find I'm more hungry for her. I ignore her order and walk to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and dipping my face into her neck. “I had no idea you could cook.”
She laughs, “It’s just a grilled sandwich and soup, Antonio. Besides, Luca is a better cook than I am. He spent a lot of time in the kitchen with Mama growing up while I was holed up in the library.”
“I still think…" My voice trails off when I catch the sound of footsteps approaching the kitchen and, instinctively, jolt away from Emilia, creating distance between us.
As my head turns to the entrance, there are a few beats of silence before my father walks in, That only pushes me into stepping further away from Emilia.
“Hmm, something smells good,” he says, but the smile on his face falls when he turns to Emilia. “Cara, is something the matter?”
I follow his gaze to Emilia, and my heart nearly stops at the tears I see in her eyes.
The devastation I see on her face. I take a step forward, but she takes one back, not meeting my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Leonardo," she sniffs, dropping the cheese she was holding onto the counter. "You’ll have to excuse me. I forgot to…do something.”
“Emilia!” he calls out, but she’s already fleeing the kitchen.
We both watch her disappear before my father turns to me, so I wait for the tongue lashing.
My father has always treated Emilia and Luca no differently than he has his own children, and I know he has a soft spot for Emilia as he does Gabriella.
But he doesn’t immediately say anything.
Instead, he walks toward me and takes the chair by the kitchen counter.
“You should finish that since you chased away the woman making your lunch.”
With a sigh, I limp to the counter to continue where Emilia left off. For a while, neither one of us says a word to the other until I’m done.
“She deserves better,” I start, passing my father a plate, but I don’t make one for myself, uncertain if I can stomach food, all things considered.
“Then be better,” he says, grabbing his panini and taking a bite, humming and nodding at the taste. “This sandwich wouldn’t have tasted this good if Emilia hadn’t started it.”
And then he turns those cold eyes to mine. “What are you so afraid of?”
“Losing her and myself in the process,” I respond honestly.
“Aaah,” he hums, taking yet another bite of his sandwich, mulling over my words as he chews. “You were closer to your mother than your brothers were; I forget that sometimes. You inherited most of her features too and took it the hardest when we lost her.”
“It wasn’t easy for any of us.”
He nods somberly. “No, it wasn’t, but your brothers found different ways to cope with her loss that you couldn’t.
Matteo threw himself into his studies—determined to prove he was ready to lead someday.
Dante channeled everything into sports, training until he collapsed.
And Lorenzo...well, he discovered computers and disappeared into that world.
" He chuckles, but the sound is dry, empty of mirth. "But you couldn’t move on. That’s why you won’t let yourself love that poor girl when it’s so clear to everyone else that she has feelings for you. ”
I run a hand through my hair and turn away, staring at the cheese Emilia dropped earlier.
"It would kill me to lose someone the way you lost Mama. It nearly killed you. Emilia…she’s…
” I grab a fistful of my hair and yank hard, wanting to replace the ache in my chest with something more physical.
A pain I can actually deal with. “I’ve never had these feelings for another woman as I do with Emilia.
She makes me think about building a home with her, starting a family, but how can I love her and risk my heart if I ever lose her? I would not survive it!"
The room falls silent as the words hang between us. The heaviness bears down on me until all I want is to go outside and just run until my heart isn’t aching anymore and the pounding in my head isn’t filled with memories I wish I could bury forever. Feelings I would do anything to be rid of.
Feelings for a woman I can’t have. Feelings I can’t control.
“Your mother and I were married for almost twenty years before she died. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing, even knowing that fate would steal her from me.
” I turn to look at my father, surprise written on my face.
“Even knowing the pain it would cause me and the years it would take me to come to peace with her memories, I would still go back and do everything the same. I would still fall in love with the young Italian woman who barely spoke any English but loved books. I would build her this home and give her that library and the atrium and have you kids with her, including my little princess. I would love her every single day and celebrate every year I got to spend with her and mourn every year I spent alone.”
“But Estella…”
“It took me twenty years to love again. Antonia was my first love, my wife and the mother of my five children. The love I had for your mother will never fade. That kind of love never does,” he says, his voice wistful.
“A part of me believes that Antonia brought Estella and me together. She brought her into my life so I could finally heal and find love again. And that’s what I want for my children too.
Matteo is already married to Sofia, and Dante is with Gia, and now, there’s only you and Lorenzo left. ”
“You forgot Gabriella,” I tease, a smile cracking when he glares at me.
“No, I did not,” he grumbles, eyes firing up as he always does when someone mentions the baby of the family. Always fiercely protective of her. “Gabriella has all the time in the world to settle down.”
I laugh, feeling some of the heavy weight lift from my chest. “She’s too good for me.”
“She is,” he nods firmly. “And if you wait too long, you’re going to regret it forever when she decides to move on.
” That thought alone brings on a new wave of panic.
“We cannot control the future, son, and we can’t live every day in fear of it either.
It shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the moments we have. ”
“I’m running out of time, aren’t I? With Emilia.”
“You are, and soon, she’ll stop waiting for you,” he says, those cold eyes I inherited from him finding mine.
“It’s your choice to pick whether to make her yours or let her move on with her life.
But make the choice fast. Best believe I will break you into pieces if you hurt her.
She may not be my daughter by blood, but I helped raise that girl.
Son or not, you’ll not like what I do if you break her heart again.
Your brothers will be only too happy to help. ”
Fuck, he doesn’t need to tell me that. It chips into me every time I do something to hurt her, and it’s time I made up for that. Time I accepted that she’s it for me and stopped fighting it.
“You don’t have to worry,” I assure my father. “I won’t repeat that mistake.”
“Good.”
I could lose her tomorrow, or hell, I could be the one to die.
I am, after all, the one who has people chasing after him with guns.
It all could happen tomorrow, and I would die never knowing what it's like to be loved by a woman as beautiful and smart as Emilia.
As perfect, inside and out, as the woman whose heart I keep breaking.
Fuck, I’m going to do some serious groveling this time before I get back in her good graces.
But first, I need to talk to Silvia and Luca…